How can we really make 2011 better?

[Nakia]

2010 was a hell of a year. I am determined that 2011 will be better. What can I do to make it better? I'm not talking about making resolutions. I'm talking about real life changes that make a difference. I have a wonderful husband, beautiful and healthy daughters, an awesome church, and great friends. I love my job, my home, my family, this board, homeschooling, photography. I have so much to be thankful for, yet this past year has been so awful. We have been hit over and over with things way beyond our control. So maybe there is a way I can be more prepared. I don't know. I'm just rambling, I guess. But I sure do wish I could figure out how to get a hold on things. I can SAY we are going to be more financially responsible, but I don't think we were being irrespsonsible, yet we still had financial hardship. I can SAY I'm going to pray more and read my bible more, and I truly want to do those things, but it sounds so trivial. I know it's not, but it just sounds like it. I can SAY I'm going to be a better mother, wife, sister, daugther, but when you hit over and over, it's hard to even know how, you know?

 

Ramble, ramble, ramble.

 

I know that many of us here have had really challenging years. What can we really do to make 2011 better??? I was thinking perhaps we can make a list of those who have been especially challenged this year, and commit to pray every single day for each other. I know prayer works. But what else can we do? To be honest, I am terrified of going through another year like this one. Or a worse one.

 

I know I will make it. I made it through this one, but I'm still scared. I just feel like 2011 HAS to be better.

[fairytalemama]

I really relate to your post. I spent so many weeks (yes, WEEKS) this year ill with some mystery illness that still plagues me that the doctors still haven't positively identified after test after test after test. It's difficult dealing with not knowing if today is going to be another day spent in the bathroom throwing up.

 

Let's all say a collective prayer for a healthy, happy and prosperous 2011.

[angela in ohio]

We have been hit over and over with things way beyond our control. So maybe there is a way I can be more prepared. I don't know. I'm just rambling, I guess. But I sure do wish I could figure out how to get a hold on things.

 

Have you ever read the book Margin? This is basically what it is about: putting extra space in your life so that you can deal with things that come up.

 

Also, sometimes I don't make changes because I try to make them all at once: "Tomorrow, I am going to start a new diet, work out for 2 hours, spend 10 hours being a perfect parent, save us $500 on our gorcery budget, and clean the whole house." :D Instead, I find it helps to pick one thing and do it for a month. Then I pick another thing. I have made a lot of changes by just doing one thing a little bit better at a time.

[elegantlion]

I'm thinking of investing in body armor. :glare:

 

Honestly, I don't know. I know I've never been so glad to see a year end. I'm sick in bed. Earlier this week I found out a former friend died and it brought up a lot of issues, anger & resentment, about the circumstances in which he died.

 

We also had many wonderful things happen this year. I don't know. One day a time. I want to give more grace than people deserve, offer hope when no one else cares. I want something different in 2011 that's for sure.

[SonshineLearner]

May the next year, be better than the end of this one :) I'm sick... bored.... and Dish was canceled :( I have been reading about Early Church Fathers. My life seems good, when compared... <Run to get Kleenex> I am going to write a good memory about childhood, or something to be thankful for.. at least once a week. Kinda like the "Facebook app" where it goes and gets all your statuses... and then at the end of 2011... I can hopefully see all my happy memories and thoughts.... Now it's time to head back to bed..

:)

[Robin M]

Remaining positive and optimistic which it sounds like you've done a pretty good job with all that's happened. I'm always looking for the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm the one with the shovel saying "I know there is a pony in here somewhere" (if you don't get it, let me know and I'll post the joke)

 

I try not to bury my head in the sand, but I take many things the news say with a grain of salt and ignore the naysayers.

 

Hope 2011 turns out to be a great year for you.

[MariannNOVA]

Nakia: I could have written what you wrote. :grouphug:

 

As I was reading your post, I was thinking (and then you wrote it) that the most positive thing I did this year was to be obedient to the Lord's push and organize the prayer chain for Imp. THAT time in prayer was for me so healing and positive. And, it never ceases to amaze me how praying for another is such a blessing to me when I need it most.

 

And, the year cannot end without my telling you that your candid, heartfelt thread about your struggles this year and the steps you are taking to get help, was a LIFE CHANGING thread for me. That thread and your PMs to me were the catalyst for me to finally call and make a doctor's appointment. I am closer to 'better' than I have been in 18 months. For that, you will always be on my prayer list.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Michelle in AL]

I've had a HORRIBLE year and am finally pulling myself out. Here's what's worked for me....

 

*Make time for myself each day. Most importantly make time to recharge. When you get to the point where you feel overloaded, make time to do whatever it is that reloads you: cuddle up in a blanket and read/rest for days, take a bath, have a glass of wine, read a little and go to bed....whatever floats your boat.

 

*At the same time, figure out what is your BEST way of showing love to others and do it. This was the biggie for me. When I or my husband is stressed, my whole family is stressed. Concentrate on providing a nice, calming environment for your family as often as possible. For me this means making them extra good comforting meals, watching movies together snuggled on the couch, doing a puzzle etc.

 

*Reading The Geography of Bliss really helped me define a path to happiness. I read it on my kindle and highlighted all the important bits of wisdom so I can review as needed.

 

It sounds like you have a great foundation, all that is needed for a healthy you. My recommendation is if you're feeling too much chaos, add in more peace for your day. Be less demanding of yourself and others.

[newbie]

Let go, let God, this is my NY resolution.

[Nakia]

I really relate to your post. I spent so many weeks (yes, WEEKS) this year ill with some mystery illness that still plagues me that the doctors still haven't positively identified after test after test after test. It's difficult dealing with not knowing if today is going to be another day spent in the bathroom throwing up.

 

Let's all say a collective prayer for a healthy, happy and prosperous 2011.

:grouphug: I hope the doctors find out what is wrong and find a cure soon. Praying for you!!

 

 

Have you ever read the book Margin? This is basically what it is about: putting extra space in your life so that you can deal with things that come up.

 

Also, sometimes I don't make changes because I try to make them all at once: "Tomorrow, I am going to start a new diet, work out for 2 hours, spend 10 hours being a perfect parent, save us $500 on our gorcery budget, and clean the whole house." :D Instead, I find it helps to pick one thing and do it for a month. Then I pick another thing. I have made a lot of changes by just doing one thing a little bit better at a time.

 

Great idea about one thing at a time. That's one thing I have a problem with: I want to do it all RIGHT NOW!! I haven't heard of that book, but I will check and see if my library has it. Thanks!

 

I'm thinking of investing in body armor. :glare:

 

Honestly, I don't know. I know I've never been so glad to see a year end. I'm sick in bed. Earlier this week I found out a former friend died and it brought up a lot of issues, anger & resentment, about the circumstances in which he died.

 

We also had many wonderful things happen this year. I don't know. One day a time. I want to give more grace than people deserve, offer hope when no one else cares. I want something different in 2011 that's for sure.

 

BEAUTIFUL!! Thank you! You inspire me Paula!!

 

May the next year, be better than the end of this one :) I'm sick... bored.... and Dish was canceled :( I have been reading about Early Church Fathers. My life seems good, when compared... <Run to get Kleenex> I am going to write a good memory about childhood, or something to be thankful for.. at least once a week. Kinda like the "Facebook app" where it goes and gets all your statuses... and then at the end of 2011... I can hopefully see all my happy memories and thoughts.... Now it's time to head back to bed..

:)

 

I love that FB app too! A gratitude journal. Good idea. Feel better. :grouphug:

Remaining positive and optimistic which it sounds like you've done a pretty good job with all that's happened. I'm always looking for the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm the one with the shovel saying "I know there is a pony in here somewhere" (if you don't get it, let me know and I'll post the joke)

 

I try not to bury my head in the sand, but I take many things the news say with a grain of salt and ignore the naysayers.

 

Hope 2011 turns out to be a great year for you.

 

I need you to post the joke. I don't think i've heard it.

 

Nakia: I could have written what you wrote.

 

As I was reading your post, I was thinking (and then you wrote it) that the most positive thing I did this year was to be obedient to the Lord's push and organize the prayer chain for Imp. THAT time in prayer was for me so healing and positive. And, it never ceases to amaze me how praying for another is such a blessing to me when I need it most.

 

And, the year cannot end without my telling you that your candid, heartfelt thread about your struggles this year and the steps you are taking to get help, was a LIFE CHANGING thread for me. That thread and your PMs to me were the catalyst for me to finally call and make a doctor's appointment. I am closer to 'better' than I have been in 18 months. For that, you will always be on my prayer list.

 

Mariann,

You have become so precious to me over the last few months! To know I touched a life means the world to me. And it reminds me that God has a plan always. :grouphug:

[Nakia]

I've had a HORRIBLE year and am finally pulling myself out. Here's what's worked for me....

 

*Make time for myself each day. Most importantly make time to recharge. When you get to the point where you feel overloaded, make time to do whatever it is that reloads you: cuddle up in a blanket and read/rest for days, take a bath, have a glass of wine, read a little and go to bed....whatever floats your boat.

 

*At the same time, figure out what is your BEST way of showing love to others and do it. This was the biggie for me. When I or my husband is stressed, my whole family is stressed. Concentrate on providing a nice, calming environment for your family as often as possible. For me this means making them extra good comforting meals, watching movies together snuggled on the couch, doing a puzzle etc.

 

*Reading The Geography of Bliss really helped me define a path to happiness. I read it on my kindle and highlighted all the important bits of wisdom so I can review as needed.

 

It sounds like you have a great foundation, all that is needed for a healthy you. My recommendation is if you're feeling too much chaos, add in more peace for your day. Be less demanding of yourself and others.

 

 

Peace...that's what I want. Just peace.

Thank you.

 

Let go, let God, this is my NY resolution.

 

So simple, but such good words.

[MariannNOVA]

:grouphug:

 

Mariann,

You have become so precious to me over the last few months! To know I touched a life means the world to me. And it reminds me that God has a plan always. :grouphug:

 

Nakia -- and you to me. Prayers for peace, health and happiness in the New Year.:grouphug::grouphug:

 

And, I am NOT just saying this, I cannot ever remember a year that SO many people wanted GONE!:glare:

[Carol in Cal.]

Have you ever read "The Screwtape Letters"? There is a place where the uncle tempter describes the situation of the junior tempter's temptee--he is not sure whether or not he will be drafted, and the war is very dangerous. He says that this uncertainty is just great for evil, and that the tempter should be careful to encourage the temptee toward the view that he is 'on hold' spiritually until it becomes clear whether or not he will be drafted. He tells him to prevent the temptee as much as possible from realizing that the uncertainty is precisely the problem of the day, and precisely what he is called to deal with right now. He said that encouraging him to look ahead or behind pretty far will mess him up spiritually by preventing him from praying about how to deal with what he is facing right now.

 

I have not read that book in many years, but this comes back to me often.

 

I recommend that book to you for a day by day type Christianity, and also suggest that the best preparation for a tough year is praying every day for the strength and wisdom for that specific day.

[Nakia]

Nakia -- and you to me. Prayers for peace, health and happiness in the New Year.:grouphug::grouphug:

 

And, I am NOT just saying this, I cannot ever remember a year that SO many people wanted GONE!:glare:

 

Me too. It seems like it's been a hard year for so many people.

[In the Rain]

 

*At the same time, figure out what is your BEST way of showing love to others and do it. This was the biggie for me. When I or my husband is stressed, my whole family is stressed. Concentrate on providing a nice, calming environment for your family as often as possible. For me this means making them extra good comforting meals, watching movies together snuggled on the couch, doing a puzzle etc.

 

 

 

:001_smile: Nice thoughts.

[Nakia]

Have you ever read "The Screwtape Letters"? There is a place where the uncle tempter describes the situation of the junior tempter's temptee--he is not sure whether or not he will be drafted, and the war is very dangerous. He says that this uncertainty is just great for evil, and that the tempter should be careful to encourage the temptee toward the view that he is 'on hold' spiritually until it becomes clear whether or not he will be drafted. He tells him to prevent the temptee as much as possible from realizing that the uncertainty is precisely the problem of the day, and precisely what he is called to deal with right now. He said that encouraging him to look ahead or behind pretty far will mess him up spiritually by preventing him from praying about how to deal with what he is facing right now.

 

I have not read that book in many years, but this comes back to me often.

 

I recommend that book to you for a day by day type Christianity, and also suggest that the best preparation for a tough year is praying every day for the strength and wisdom for that specific day.

 

I haven't ever read that book either. I will get it though. Sounds intriguing. Thank you.

[catalinakel]

2010 had me leave my husband of 15 years for a safer, more healthy home. By the grace of God I did it and the kids and I are fine. I have learned so much about God's faithfulness, mercy and goodness this past year. When I think about the new year and all of its possible challenges, I can't get this out of my head:

 

Psalm 34:1-5

I will bless the Lord at all times

His praise shall continually be in my mouth

My soul shall make its boast in the Lord

The humble shall hear of it and be blessed

O magnify the Lord with me

And let us exalt His name forever

 

I sought the Lord and He answered me

And He delivered me from all my fears

Those who look to Him are radiant

And their faces shall never be ashamed

 

This is where I will be standing in the coming year. This is where I will find peace. May it be unto you as well, dear Nakia.

[Peela]

I think it helps not to take it personally when things go wrong, or to add self recriminaiton and guilt on top of mistakes and failings. Forgive ourselves, realise its not "just us" and move on.

 

There is the stuff that is hard, that is challenging, because that is the nature of life. Theres nothing we can do about it and life isnt supposed to be easy all the time. But..then, how do we respond to difficulties? Often by making them harder again, by getting angry or upset, by feeling sorry for ourselves, by giving ourselves a hard time, and generally getting ourselves into a big grey tizz. So...we make it much harder than the original situation ever warranted.

THAT is the bit we can control...our attitude...not what actually happens.

 

Focus on the blessings. Make an intention to pay attention and be grateful, every day. And notice the beauty around us every single day...it is there in the midst of it all. My spiritual teacher gave her students the task of awakening and reciting the Beauty Way prayer every morning, and focusing on the beauty in our lives, every day. It has been an immense blessing to me to actually follow through and do that. Its amazing how problems make me fixate and only see the world through a very dark and narrow focus, and when I remember to notice the beauty- the small things, the flower, the bird, the smile, the light, the sunshine...it expands my focus and the problem is more in perspective rather than taking up all my attention.

[Kathleen in VA]

Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

 

Peace comes from resting completely in the finished work of Christ - his death, burial and resurrection.

 

This year I've noticed so many verses that refer to the mind. There are just tons of them! I believe God wants us to have the mind of Christ. ( Phillipians 2, Romans 12, Ephesians 4:23, Colossians 3:12, II Timothy 1:7.) These verses just kept popping out at me all year and that got me to thinking about just how to go about accomplishing this goal of having the mind of Christ and hence, the peace I long for.

 

Hebrews 4:12 says "For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

 

God's word is living and able to transform our minds. I think Satan really does his level best to keep us from being in God's word on a regular basis because he wants us to be in a continual state of discouragement. He wants to destory us and he wants us to keep us from having a joyful, peaceful testimony to the world.

 

I truly believe that reading, studying and meditating on God's word is the answer to all our mind issues. I am awful about this. I get going with it and then something happens and I let it go and then I'm back to square one again.

 

I'm going to try to do better this year. I'm planning on trying to read through the Bible in a year. There is a pdf file of a 365-day reading plan at http://www.oneyearbibleblog.com/welcome-to-the-one-year-bible.html.

 

I also think that spending time in prayer - especially intercessory prayer for others - is another necessary thing to do to grow in grace in the Lord. I am lousy at this as well. But I'm not giving up. I am determined to get better at it. Prayer is very hard because it so very valuable to us as believers. Again, I believe Satan makes every effort to derail our efforts to pray.

 

I humbly suggest (to myself as well as others) that 2011 be the year that we read through the entire Bible and make daily prayer a priority over every other thing. Now I don't want to discourage those of you with small children and suggest that all this must be done before 7am and while the rest of the house is asleep. No, no, no, no, no.:) Just sit down with your Bible while the kids are doing whatever and pray while you do the dishes or fold laundry or scrub the toilet.

 

This is the way I think we can hope for a better 2011. Our joy comes from knowing we are loved by God, our sins are paid for, Christ's righteousness is imputed to us and our eternal condition is secure. Happiness comes and goes depending on our cirucumstances, but our joy can remain constant because God never changes.

 

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Phil. 4:18

 

"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper." Psalm 1:1-3

 

Pray for me - I'll be praying for you.:grouphug:

[Sahamamama]

I cannot ever remember a year that SO many people wanted GONE!:glare:

 

:iagree:As for Nakia's questions -- BTW, is that really your name, because I love that name -- anyway, as for Nakia's questions, my husband and I were talking about these the other day.

 

I said to him, "You know, sometimes we just have to be patient."

 

I think that God has many people in a season of waiting. I think that we are frustrated with our own limitations, our own sense of perhaps not seeing Him work in ways that reveal Him obviously, and we are waiting.

 

I feel that for most of 2010, I waited like this: :toetap05: (fed up with waiting)

 

or this: :willy_nilly: (bewildered by life)

 

or this: :glare: (annoyed way too easily by other people)

 

What I want to do in 2011 is to wait like this: :001_wub: (loving His back, when I don't see His face)

 

and this: :bigear: (listening for a whisper)

 

and this: :grouphug: (caring about other people)

 

That, and I am going to memorize Kathleen's wonderful post! Happy New Year!

[catalinakel]

Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

 

Peace comes from resting completely in the finished work of Christ - his death, burial and resurrection.

 

This year I've noticed so many verses that refer to the mind. There are just tons of them! I believe God wants us to have the mind of Christ. ( Phillipians 2, Romans 12, Ephesians 4:23, Colossians 3:12, II Timothy 1:7.) These verses just kept popping out at me all year and that got me to thinking about just how to go about accomplishing this goal of having the mind of Christ and hence, the peace I long for.

 

Hebrews 4:12 says "For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

 

God's word is living and able to transform our minds. I think Satan really does his level best to keep us from being in God's word on a regular basis because he wants us to be in a continual state of discouragement. He wants to destory us and he wants us to keep us from having a joyful, peaceful testimony to the world.

 

I truly believe that reading, studying and meditating on God's word is the answer to all our mind issues. I am awful about this. I get going with it and then something happens and I let it go and then I'm back to square one again.

 

I'm going to try to do better this year. I'm planning on trying to read through the Bible in a year. There is a pdf file of a 365-day reading plan at http://www.oneyearbibleblog.com/welcome-to-the-one-year-bible.html.

 

I also think that spending time in prayer - especially intercessory prayer for others - is another necessary thing to do to grow in grace in the Lord. I am lousy at this as well. But I'm not giving up. I am determined to get better at it. Prayer is very hard because it so very valuable to us as believers. Again, I believe Satan makes every effort to derail our efforts to pray.

 

I humbly suggest (to myself as well as others) that 2011 be the year that we read through the entire Bible and make daily prayer a priority over every other thing. Now I don't want to discourage those of you with small children and suggest that all this must be done before 7am and while the rest of the house is asleep. No, no, no, no, no.:) Just sit down with your Bible while the kids are doing whatever and pray while you do the dishes or fold laundry or scrub the toilet.

 

This is the way I think we can hope for a better 2011. Our joy comes from knowing we are loved by God, our sins are paid for, Christ's righteousness is imputed to us and our eternal condition is secure. Happiness comes and goes depending on our cirucumstances, but our joy can remain constant because God never changes.

 

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Phil. 4:18

 

"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper." Psalm 1:1-3

 

Pray for me - I'll be praying for you.:grouphug:

 

yep, yep, yep...though this is a lot to do. I am never good at the doing parts. It is remembering that has transformed my pain this year. Remembering what I know to be true about God.], what Christ has already done. And trusting in it, resting in it. Like a weaned child......

[Sophia]

2010 was a hell of a year. I am determined that 2011 will be better. What can I do to make it better? I'm not talking about making resolutions. I'm talking about real life changes that make a difference.

 

I can SAY we are going to be more financially responsible, but I don't think we were being irrespsonsible, yet we still had financial hardship. I can SAY I'm going to pray more and read my bible more, and I truly want to do those things, but it sounds so trivial. I know it's not, but it just sounds like it. I can SAY I'm going to be a better mother, wife, sister, daugther, but when you hit over and over, it's hard to even know how, you know?

 

 

I can only tell you what has been helpful for me.

My works always disappoint me, but God's never do.

Instead of thinking I can be a better wife, I reflect on how God has poured out His love into my marriage.

Instead of thinking how I can be more financially responsible, I think of how God has provided exceedingly and abundantly above my needs.

 

I know I'm going to fall short of my own expectations, but God never falls short...it just doesn't happen.

History has borne that out in my life.

 

I guess the real life change I made was looking for and trusting that His hand was in everything that happened to me and my family, and I can trust in whatever passes through His hands.

[Rosie_0801]

Y'know, late last year I hit on a snippet of info about dopamine and serotonin deficiencies and I'm thinking that might be the key I needed to start recovering my health. It beats me how anyone manages more than two kids because it all wipes me out! I can't expect to be wonder woman with two small kids here, but I was beginning to feel like I was never going to feel normal again; that I was going to be tired even when there seemed no reason forever. I don't think three decent nights sleep and a good breakfast is going to restore all that childbearing has taken out of me (I think I might just be a wuss) but I think I have found the info I need to start on a road to repair that will actually arrive at the destination. Ds is turning 2 in a few weeks and dd is 3 1/2, so I've still got a long time ahead of disrupted sleep and all those sorts of set back, but I really do feel like it is possible not to feel as I have for the past for years forever! What a comforting thought ;)

 

For practical purposes, this means sleep, a bit of exercise in the morning, and a good breakfast. "Grains, beans, greens and little bit o' fat" is our new breakfast mantra. At the moment, dh is cooking the breakfast (how convenient that he's unemployed, huh?) but I'm feeling the difference in my self and I'm sure (well not sure, but I won't have a choice, hehhe) I'll be able to take over that job again when he does finally find work.

 

My knitting challenge, as mentioned in another thread, will help me feel more positive about this year, I think. One of the large challenges of having small kids, for me, has been having so much time, but so little of it useful for achieving stuff. Stuff other than raising my kids, I mean; worthy as that is! ;) Either I've been too zonked or they're hanging off me. There's been plenty of time for acquiring info, which is certainly better than a kick in the head, but the resources haven't been there for using much of it and that has been so frustrating! Now my little bundle of boy baby-ness thinks he's too big and tough to require 24 hour snuggling services, so I think this year my inner introvert will be able to recover a bit, and since he's off doing his own thing so much more, I think I'll be able to get more study in. Study and acting on my new knowledge is so important for my sense of wellbeing... It's that acts of service thing, I think :) I feel I'm doing a shoddy job of wife and mother if I'm not learning new things and putting them into practice. Not that my hubby or kids care if I learn to knit... :lol:

 

Yeah, so they are some of the changes happening around here, and even though they've only been in place for the past few weeks, I am feeling the difference. I don't feel like I'm flunking quite so much. Maybe a D, but I rekon I can at least get to a C+ by the end of the year :lol:

 

Rosie

[Nakia]

2010 had me leave my husband of 15 years for a safer, more healthy home. By the grace of God I did it and the kids and I are fine. I have learned so much about God's faithfulness, mercy and goodness this past year. When I think about the new year and all of its possible challenges, I can't get this out of my head:

 

Psalm 34:1-5

I will bless the Lord at all times

His praise shall continually be in my mouth

My soul shall make its boast in the Lord

The humble shall hear of it and be blessed

O magnify the Lord with me

And let us exalt His name forever

 

I sought the Lord and He answered me

And He delivered me from all my fears

Those who look to Him are radiant

And their faces shall never be ashamed

 

This is where I will be standing in the coming year. This is where I will find peace. May it be unto you as well, dear Nakia.

 

Thank you. I am going to print out a list of bible verses and put them on my fridge. This Psalm is going on top. :grouphug:

 

I think it helps not to take it personally when things go wrong, or to add self recriminaiton and guilt on top of mistakes and failings. Forgive ourselves, realise its not "just us" and move on.

 

There is the stuff that is hard, that is challenging, because that is the nature of life. Theres nothing we can do about it and life isnt supposed to be easy all the time. But..then, how do we respond to difficulties? Often by making them harder again, by getting angry or upset, by feeling sorry for ourselves, by giving ourselves a hard time, and generally getting ourselves into a big grey tizz. So...we make it much harder than the original situation ever warranted.

THAT is the bit we can control...our attitude...not what actually happens.

 

Focus on the blessings. Make an intention to pay attention and be grateful, every day. And notice the beauty around us every single day...it is there in the midst of it all. My spiritual teacher gave her students the task of awakening and reciting the Beauty Way prayer every morning, and focusing on the beauty in our lives, every day. It has been an immense blessing to me to actually follow through and do that. Its amazing how problems make me fixate and only see the world through a very dark and narrow focus, and when I remember to notice the beauty- the small things, the flower, the bird, the smile, the light, the sunshine...it expands my focus and the problem is more in perspective rather than taking up all my attention.

 

Thank you, Peela. You always have so many words of wisdom. I need to stop taking all these challenges personally. I need to see the beauty and recognize where I've come from and be thankful.

 

What is the Beauty Way prayer?

 

Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

 

Peace comes from resting completely in the finished work of Christ - his death, burial and resurrection.

 

This year I've noticed so many verses that refer to the mind. There are just tons of them! I believe God wants us to have the mind of Christ. ( Phillipians 2, Romans 12, Ephesians 4:23, Colossians 3:12, II Timothy 1:7.) These verses just kept popping out at me all year and that got me to thinking about just how to go about accomplishing this goal of having the mind of Christ and hence, the peace I long for.

 

Hebrews 4:12 says "For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

 

God's word is living and able to transform our minds. I think Satan really does his level best to keep us from being in God's word on a regular basis because he wants us to be in a continual state of discouragement. He wants to destory us and he wants us to keep us from having a joyful, peaceful testimony to the world.

 

I truly believe that reading, studying and meditating on God's word is the answer to all our mind issues. I am awful about this. I get going with it and then something happens and I let it go and then I'm back to square one again.

 

I'm going to try to do better this year. I'm planning on trying to read through the Bible in a year. There is a pdf file of a 365-day reading plan at http://www.oneyearbibleblog.com/welcome-to-the-one-year-bible.html.

 

I also think that spending time in prayer - especially intercessory prayer for others - is another necessary thing to do to grow in grace in the Lord. I am lousy at this as well. But I'm not giving up. I am determined to get better at it. Prayer is very hard because it so very valuable to us as believers. Again, I believe Satan makes every effort to derail our efforts to pray.

 

I humbly suggest (to myself as well as others) that 2011 be the year that we read through the entire Bible and make daily prayer a priority over every other thing. Now I don't want to discourage those of you with small children and suggest that all this must be done before 7am and while the rest of the house is asleep. No, no, no, no, no.:) Just sit down with your Bible while the kids are doing whatever and pray while you do the dishes or fold laundry or scrub the toilet.

 

This is the way I think we can hope for a better 2011. Our joy comes from knowing we are loved by God, our sins are paid for, Christ's righteousness is imputed to us and our eternal condition is secure. Happiness comes and goes depending on our cirucumstances, but our joy can remain constant because God never changes.

 

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Phil. 4:18

 

"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper." Psalm 1:1-3

 

Pray for me - I'll be praying for you.:grouphug:

 

Yes, I will pray for you Kathleen! Thank you for sharing so many wonderful verses and words!!

[Nakia]

As for Nakia's questions -- BTW, is that really your name, because I love that name -- anyway, as for Nakia's questions, my husband and I were talking about these the other day.

 

I said to him, "You know, sometimes we just have to be patient."

 

I think that God has many people in a season of waiting. I think that we are frustrated with our own limitations, our own sense of perhaps not seeing Him work in ways that reveal Him obviously, and we are waiting.

 

I feel that for most of 2010, I waited like this: :toetap05: (fed up with waiting)

 

or this: :willy_nilly: (bewildered by life)

 

or this: :glare: (annoyed way too easily by other people)

 

What I want to do in 2011 is to wait like this: :001_wub: (loving His back, when I don't see His face)

 

and this: :bigear: (listening for a whisper)

 

and this: :grouphug: (caring about other people)

 

That, and I am going to memorize Kathleen's wonderful post! Happy New Year!

 

Yes, Nakia is my real name. :D Thank you for posting!! I can so relate to your smilie illustration!!

 

I can only tell you what has been helpful for me.

My works always disappoint me, but God's never do.

Instead of thinking I can be a better wife, I reflect on how God has poured out His love into my marriage.

Instead of thinking how I can be more financially responsible, I think of how God has provided exceedingly and abundantly above my needs.

 

I know I'm going to fall short of my own expectations, but God never falls short...it just doesn't happen.

History has borne that out in my life.

 

I guess the real life change I made was looking for and trusting that His hand was in everything that happened to me and my family, and I can trust in whatever passes through His hands.

 

Thank you!! Wise words!!!

 

Y'know, late last year I hit on a snippet of info about dopamine and serotonin deficiencies and I'm thinking that might be the key I needed to start recovering my health. It beats me how anyone manages more than two kids because it all wipes me out! I can't expect to be wonder woman with two small kids here, but I was beginning to feel like I was never going to feel normal again; that I was going to be tired even when there seemed no reason forever. I don't think three decent nights sleep and a good breakfast is going to restore all that childbearing has taken out of me (I think I might just be a wuss) but I think I have found the info I need to start on a road to repair that will actually arrive at the destination. Ds is turning 2 in a few weeks and dd is 3 1/2, so I've still got a long time ahead of disrupted sleep and all those sorts of set back, but I really do feel like it is possible not to feel as I have for the past for years forever! What a comforting thought

For practical purposes, this means sleep, a bit of exercise in the morning, and a good breakfast. "Grains, beans, greens and little bit o' fat" is our new breakfast mantra. At the moment, dh is cooking the breakfast (how convenient that he's unemployed, huh?) but I'm feeling the difference in my self and I'm sure (well not sure, but I won't have a choice, hehhe) I'll be able to take over that job again when he does finally find work.

 

My knitting challenge, as mentioned in another thread, will help me feel more positive about this year, I think. One of the large challenges of having small kids, for me, has been having so much time, but so little of it useful for achieving stuff. Stuff other than raising my kids, I mean; worthy as that is! Either I've been too zonked or they're hanging off me. There's been plenty of time for acquiring info, which is certainly better than a kick in the head, but the resources haven't been there for using much of it and that has been so frustrating! Now my little bundle of boy baby-ness thinks he's too big and tough to require 24 hour snuggling services, so I think this year my inner introvert will be able to recover a bit, and since he's off doing his own thing so much more, I think I'll be able to get more study in. Study and acting on my new knowledge is so important for my sense of wellbeing... It's that acts of service thing, I think I feel I'm doing a shoddy job of wife and mother if I'm not learning new things and putting them into practice. Not that my hubby or kids care if I learn to knit...

 

Yeah, so they are some of the changes happening around here, and even though they've only been in place for the past few weeks, I am feeling the difference. I don't feel like I'm flunking quite so much. Maybe a D, but I rekon I can at least get to a C+ by the end of the year

 

Rosie

 

I'm with you Rosie! Maybe we should even shoot for a B! :D

[catalinakel]

Y'know, late last year I hit on a snippet of info about dopamine and serotonin deficiencies and I'm thinking that might be the key I needed to start recovering my health. It beats me how anyone manages more than two kids because it all wipes me out! I can't expect to be wonder woman with two small kids here, but I was beginning to feel like I was never going to feel normal again; that I was going to be tired even when there seemed no reason forever. I don't think three decent nights sleep and a good breakfast is going to restore all that childbearing has taken out of me (I think I might just be a wuss) but I think I have found the info I need to start on a road to repair that will actually arrive at the destination. Ds is turning 2 in a few weeks and dd is 3 1/2, so I've still got a long time ahead of disrupted sleep and all those sorts of set back, but I really do feel like it is possible not to feel as I have for the past for years forever! What a comforting thought ;)

 

For practical purposes, this means sleep, a bit of exercise in the morning, and a good breakfast. "Grains, beans, greens and little bit o' fat" is our new breakfast mantra. At the moment, dh is cooking the breakfast (how convenient that he's unemployed, huh?) but I'm feeling the difference in my self and I'm sure (well not sure, but I won't have a choice, hehhe) I'll be able to take over that job again when he does finally find work.

 

My knitting challenge, as mentioned in another thread, will help me feel more positive about this year, I think. One of the large challenges of having small kids, for me, has been having so much time, but so little of it useful for achieving stuff. Stuff other than raising my kids, I mean; worthy as that is! ;) Either I've been too zonked or they're hanging off me. There's been plenty of time for acquiring info, which is certainly better than a kick in the head, but the resources haven't been there for using much of it and that has been so frustrating! Now my little bundle of boy baby-ness thinks he's too big and tough to require 24 hour snuggling services, so I think this year my inner introvert will be able to recover a bit, and since he's off doing his own thing so much more, I think I'll be able to get more study in. Study and acting on my new knowledge is so important for my sense of wellbeing... It's that acts of service thing, I think :) I feel I'm doing a shoddy job of wife and mother if I'm not learning new things and putting them into practice. Not that my hubby or kids care if I learn to knit... :lol:

 

Yeah, so they are some of the changes happening around here, and even though they've only been in place for the past few weeks, I am feeling the difference. I don't feel like I'm flunking quite so much. Maybe a D, but I rekon I can at least get to a C+ by the end of the year :lol:

 

Rosie

 

Hey Rosie. I relate to your post, so thought I'd chime in here. I had my two at age 39 and 41. They are sixteen months apart. It took me fully six years to recover and completely feel myself again. Coincidentally, I began taking an SSRI when the little one was eight months old after years of untreated depression. It helped tremendously. I also began eating meat, as I had been a vegetarian and found myself to be protein deprived. Meat made a world of difference. So did the medication. Your plans sound very helpful. I did not have such clear thinking then, and really lived in survival mode for those years. Good for you being pro active. May 2011 see us all healthier and with more energy for the tasks we have, raising the little ones not the least.

[Rosie_0801]

Hey Rosie. I relate to your post, so thought I'd chime in here. I had my two at age 39 and 41. They are sixteen months apart. It took me fully six years to recover and completely feel myself again.

 

6 years? :svengo: :grouphug::grouphug:

 

Coincidentally, I began taking an SSRI when the little one was eight months old after years of untreated depression. It helped tremendously. I also began eating meat, as I had been a vegetarian and found myself to be protein deprived. Meat made a world of difference. So did the medication.

 

I don't know what that acronym means, but funnily enough, we're moving more towards veganism and that has been a positive around here. We are not aiming for 100% vegan though, which I think is an important difference. "Nearly, but not quite" seems best for us. I'm lucky depression hasn't been an issue. I had a bit of pre-natal depression, but thank goodness that went away and I've never had anything like it since. I've been lots of other negative states (there's something about sleep deprivation that makes it seem like Murphy has moved in, isn't there?) but thankfully not that one again!

 

May 2011 see us all healthier and with more energy for the tasks we have, raising the little ones not the least.

 

:cheers2:

 

 

It is good to have a plan. It is good to have a detailed plan. Most people think they should be eating better, but "I resolve to eat better" doesn't give a person a lot of direction, does it? To act on such a resolution, so much research needs to be done and on this topic that's nothing short of hard work. Which part of eating better is the most important? Will we feel any better if we get the hang of that most important bit? Or do we have to get the hang of the second and third and fourth most important before our bodies can communicate to us the positive affects of that first change? No wonder so many of us dump our New Years Resolutions! I was quite annoyed that the health key I needed came from the Mars and Venus guy's book, but I'm still glad to have it! (He's a relationship guru, if he's writing about health, he *should* just be cashing in on his brand, shouldn't he? :lol:)

 

Rosie

[Peela]

Y'know, late last year I hit on a snippet of info about dopamine and serotonin deficiencies and I'm thinking that might be the key I needed to start recovering my health. It beats me how anyone manages more than two kids because it all wipes me out! I can't expect to be wonder woman with two small kids here, but I was beginning to feel like I was never going to feel normal again; that I was going to be tired even when there seemed no reason forever. I don't think three decent nights sleep and a good breakfast is going to restore all that childbearing has taken out of me (I think I might just be a wuss) but I think I have found the info I need to start on a road to repair that will actually arrive at the destination. Ds is turning 2 in a few weeks and dd is 3 1/2, so I've still got a long time ahead of disrupted sleep and all those sorts of set back, but I really do feel like it is possible not to feel as I have for the past for years forever! What a comforting thought ;)

 

For practical purposes, this means sleep, a bit of exercise in the morning, and a good breakfast. "Grains, beans, greens and little bit o' fat" is our new breakfast mantra. At the moment, dh is cooking the breakfast (how convenient that he's unemployed, huh?) but I'm feeling the difference in my self and I'm sure (well not sure, but I won't have a choice, hehhe) I'll be able to take over that job again when he does finally find work.

 

My knitting challenge, as mentioned in another thread, will help me feel more positive about this year, I think. One of the large challenges of having small kids, for me, has been having so much time, but so little of it useful for achieving stuff. Stuff other than raising my kids, I mean; worthy as that is! ;) Either I've been too zonked or they're hanging off me. There's been plenty of time for acquiring info, which is certainly better than a kick in the head, but the resources haven't been there for using much of it and that has been so frustrating! Now my little bundle of boy baby-ness thinks he's too big and tough to require 24 hour snuggling services, so I think this year my inner introvert will be able to recover a bit, and since he's off doing his own thing so much more, I think I'll be able to get more study in. Study and acting on my new knowledge is so important for my sense of wellbeing... It's that acts of service thing, I think :) I feel I'm doing a shoddy job of wife and mother if I'm not learning new things and putting them into practice. Not that my hubby or kids care if I learn to knit... :lol:

 

Yeah, so they are some of the changes happening around here, and even though they've only been in place for the past few weeks, I am feeling the difference. I don't feel like I'm flunking quite so much. Maybe a D, but I rekon I can at least get to a C+ by the end of the year :lol:

 

Rosie

 

Rosie, I can relate to a lot of what you are saying.

I was vegetarian before I had kids- for many years. I had my first at age 27 and the next at age 28. I have NEVER recovered my energy levels. I used to jog, run along the beach, really love long distance bike rides- ever since having kids, I have not had that sort of energy return.

I hear about women in their 40s taking up marathon running, and I am really astonished....where do they get that sort of energy? I am not overweight. I eat well. My kids are 15 and 16, for goodness sakes!

I have had a love/hate relationship with meat all my life. I was vegetarian for many years but not a healthy one. Once i was pregnant, my body would not let me stay vegetarian. Many times since then I have tried to go back to vegetarianism- including right now- but in the past, it didnt work. I have a constitution that seems to need meat. But I am trying again, and if I can just eat less, eat it ocasionally, eat just fish, or something like that, I will be happy.

And it's not like I haven't done the research, the study. It's been a consuming passion of mine to research and play with my diet and lifestyle.

I have felt better since playing with superfoods. Spirulina seems to be very good for me, and so does lot of greens. Grains are not so good. Legumes are fine. Bee Pollen, ginseng, maca, cacao, goji berries- these things resonate with me and especially help my mood. Sunshine is really important to me, too, as well as sleep. It's best I stay away from sugar, and that includes too much sweet fruit, especially dates.

I think most of us run on marginal vitamin and mineral deficiencies most of the time- our soil is so depleted, our diets, even good ones, are deficient. I read a good article the other day about how meat eaters criticise vegetarians, especially vegans, for not having enough nutrition- but the truth is most meat eaters are deficient in certain things as well. That is why, as much as reading information is useful...it is my interest to also foster an intuitive sense of what the body needs. So when I crave something, I trust it is trying to tell me something. When I get a good feeling for spirulina, I trust it. January always seems to be a month for cleansing fo rme, so its less meat, more greens and raw foods.

So here's to trusting ourselves more in 2011- trusting our inner guidance system as to how to restore full health.

[Peela]

 

What is the Beauty Way prayer?

 

 

Here is the one I use daily:

 

This day onwards I shall be happy

For nothing will prevent me.

I shall walk and beauty will go before me.

I shall walk and beauty will be behind me.

I shall walk and beauty will be above me.

I shall walk and beauty will be beneath me.

I shall walk and beauty will surround me.

I shall walk and speak of beauty.

For the rest of my days I shall be whole,

for all things are beautiful.

[Rosie_0801]

I read a good article the other day about how meat eaters criticise vegetarians, especially vegans, for not having enough nutrition- but the truth is most meat eaters are deficient in certain things as well.

 

Mm. Iodine and calcium being two culprits, from my reading. Was this article online? You are so right about learning how to listen to your body. I found as I started this veganish thing, my body said "Aha! So now you've finally decided to be sensible, I'll consider you worth talking to!" :lol: It is interesting to read on here about those on low or no grain diets because that makes me develop food psychosis! I'm really looking forward to exploring the blood type diet theory some time soon. While none of these things are hard and fast rules, I'm getting to think that one might be a good default place to start.

 

Wonder what's for breakfast; that nectarine was a good start :)

 

Rosie

[Negin]

*Reading The Geography of Bliss really helped me define a path to happiness. I read it on my kindle and highlighted all the important bits of wisdom so I can review as needed.

 

Michelle, and here I was, thinking that I'm the only person who's actually read this gem of a book and loved it. Well, very nice to meet you. :grouphug:

I'm re-reading it. That's how much I love it. :D

 

Now, on to read everyone's fabulous posts on this thread, since I can tell that this thread is a great one. :)

[mcconnellboys]

I took a little, blank book that you can find at most dollar stores these days and found prayers and Bible verses I wanted to use for observing "the hours" or stations of the day. I cut and pasted or wrote things in. I don't need something fancy. I want a working base to help me build a habit.

 

I joined Operation World so that I get an email in my mail box each day with info about a particular people of the world that is in need of prayer. I have a spot in my journal for listing them so that I do not forget.

 

I made The Upper Room my homepage so that when I first turn on my computer for the day, I have a daily devotional that comes up to read, which also includes other prayer suggestions. I have those listed in another prayer section of my journal, which will also include prayer for others in my community, etc.

 

I have a section set aside to record verses that appeal to me in my daily reading so that I can reflect on them....

 

I set up a section with a schedule for reading through the Bible again over the course of the next three years....

 

I want to build a specific habit of not just being in prayer more, and for a larger variety of peoples, but in praising God more on a daily basis.

 

And after I finished making my book, I noticed that the little photos on the front, which remind me of a four season theme (same print in four different colored frames), say across the bottom, "May your love grow...."

 

Yeah, that's the idea....

[mcconnellboys]

Sorry! Double post, somehow....

[mcconnellboys]

I adore this little book, and the follow-up, "Screwtape Proposes a Toast", is even shorter and more profound....