Belacqua Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 At dd's first Christmas, MIL announced that she wanted to start the baby with some kind of collection. I loved that idea... until I opened the box containing the first of what dh dubbed "the porn kitties." Seriously, these were, um, suggestive porcelain cat figurines. For a 6-month-old. We smiled and said thank you for the first one, despite its copious cleavage. But the next year, when we helped our toddler open a statue of a cat wearing stilettos and leaning against a stop sign (I kid. you. not.), dh had to have a chat with his mom re: appropriate gifts. The worst part was, these things were very high end -- she was spending $100+ on them! Oh, please tell me you have photos of the P. Kitties. I suspect my imagination is not doing them justice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supertechmom Posted September 20, 2013 Author Share Posted September 20, 2013 My very first zombie thread!!!! And gosh , it is still just as funny if not more the second time around. And that spam story is hysterical. I can only imagine their faces the next day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 But the next year, when we helped our toddler open a statue of a cat wearing stilettos and leaning against a stop sign (I kid. you. not.), dh had to have a chat with his mom re: appropriate gifts. OH MY GOSH, I think I just woke the kids! That is so dang funny! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 I just finished reading the whole thread laughing until I cried. Mine isn't nearly as funny, but a few years ago after going to Alaska for work I suggested I wanted a GPS for Christmas. My dh was just dumbfounded that it was what I wanted. We are both engineers so it wasn't that geeky of a gift and we were in totally new place. He got me the GPS and we have bought a new one everytime our old one breaks. I still love them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 These are great! For my 16th birthday I received a $10 gift card to Toys R Us. Umm thanks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incognito Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 I once got a Korean Wedding March shadow box from a male acquiantance at college... Very unexpected gift. X-bf gave 21yo me (very non-domestic girl, to give context) a set of corncob holders, apron, and ceramic bunny picture frame with impressionistic landscape in it. I still wonder if he was helping someone clean out their mom's closet or something when he came up with that combo. This wasn't my gift, but when we were first married my dad gave my DH a man bracelet. We call it "the man-let". If you knew both my father and my DH, it would be even funnier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 At a family member's wedding shower, her future MIL gave her a bull whip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 At a family member's wedding shower, her future MIL gave her a bull whip. My MIL jokingly said she should have given me a toilet brush. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnolia Rain Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 This thread is amazing. I'll add just one (of many, sadly) story. My MIL gifted DH a gift card for $25 to Chili's one Christmas. The card was addressed to him and said something about it being for a nice, quiet lunch. That was it. Problem was, we had three children (I was pregnant with #4) and she didn't even send the kids a card. FIL was mortified when he found out the handmade wooden toys he'd lovingly crafted for each grandchild had not made it to our house. So, um, yeah, MIL and I have a long and sordid history. Fortunately, the kids had/have no idea. It was a wonderful Christmas for them. It did reinforce why we do not visit anymore though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 One year when my daughter was about 9, she got a flashlight buddy from her uncle. No flashlight, just the buddy that went with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 When I was a kid my grandma found pickled pig's feet at the grocery store and started buying them all the time because they reminded her of her childhood. I had to pretend I liked them because of (very complicated) family dynamics. So when my 10th birthday rolled around, guess what Grandma gave me? A giant jar of pickled pig's feet. Then she insisted that I open them right then and there and eat one. I was the birthday girl after all! I deserved a special treat! I was blinking back tears the whole time. :( Since then I've learned to politely decline food I don't care for. And that I'm not responsible for other people's feelings; I shouldn't be made to feel bad if they're mortally offended that I don't like the same foods they do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supertechmom Posted September 20, 2013 Author Share Posted September 20, 2013 When I was a kid my grandma found pickled pig's feet at the grocery store and started buying them all the time because they reminded her of her childhood. I had to pretend I liked them because of (very complicated) family dynamics. So when my 10th birthday rolled around, guess what Grandma gave me? A giant jar of pickled pig's feet. Then she insisted that I open them right then and there and eat one. I was the birthday girl after all! I deserved a special treat! I was blinking back tears the whole time. :( Since then I've learned to politely decline food I don't care for. And that I'm not responsible for other people's feelings; I shouldn't be made to feel bad if they're mortally offended that I don't like the same foods they do. Okay you win. there is no way I would have not puked right on the spot just looking at the jar much less the attempt to actually eat it!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostSurprise Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 Hey, I missed this one! Usually the scary blanket lovey and I get to post on the same page. Dh's grandfather gave us a creepy red clown doll when our first son was born. It's arms and legs were twisted behind it (as if it was rocking on its stomach and something was forcing its arms and legs behind it into the air). When you wound it up the head revolved completely around while playing a jaunty tune. I'm not making this up. Someone manufactured the tortured clown doll, someone kept it, and dh's grandparents thought of us when they saw it. We received it when ds1 was a baby and he was afraid of it. Dh would not let me throw it out. I just kept moving the hiding place. DS kept getting into things and finding it, freaking himself out. 4 years later I threw it away without telling dh. Ds1 is still, even as a teen, marginally afraid of dolls.Dh bought me a vacuum for the first birthday we were together ('I know we need one') and a roasting pan for Christmas one month later. I bought him a leather jacket. I don't get birthday gifts much, it's too close to Christmas, although a few years ago I got a book about Mr. Rogers from Goodwill and a package of M&Ms. In his defense dh does have some good, incredibly thoughtful gift ideas. And then there are other times I think he's operating completely on tictacs and panic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeachyDoodle Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 Oh, please tell me you have photos of the P. Kitties. I suspect my imagination is not doing them justice. Okay, but fair warning: You will not be able to unsee this... Say hello to Kitty O. According to her profile, she's "rich and idle," and her hobby is "the pool boy." (Lest you think I'm making this up, Google it yourself.) She was our first treasure. Let's just say I didn't exactly rush home to display her in dd's nursery. I mean, the thing has a bigger chest than I did (and I was post-partum at the time). It was Naughty Nat who did us in, though. She's a "masseuse" (wink, wink) whose hobby is "the bald and rich." Just the role model I was hoping my little girl would have... I never thought I'd need photos of them, as they are positively seared into my memory, so I had to go trolling the interwebs to find them. Interestingly, Nat took quite awhile to locate; apparently she's not popular (who would have thought?). In what world is that an appropriate gift for an 18-month-old -- your first grandchild, no less? But as I learned during my search today, it could, in fact, have been worse. Since this year will be dd's 9th Christmas, we would have racked up quite the collection by now. (Pun intended; I couldn't help myself.) Sadly, they were {ahem} misplaced during our move a few years ago. DD still loves the two rag dolls MIL purchased at the same shop, though. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 Peachy, thank you! They're every bit as horrifying as I'd hoped imagined. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houseofkids&pets Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 Wow. Just.....wow! The figurines are bad enough, but their profiles are unbelievable! What a way to encourage your dd to develop interesting hobbies - "pool boys" or the "bald and rich"! At least now I finally get to use this: :ack2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 And apropos of very little, I grant...if I didn't know Nat is a kitty, I've had assumed she's a pig. Not sure if that's better or worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 For Christmas a few years back my husband's 90 year old grandmother gave me "lingerie." HER lingerie! It was so ugly and not even close to sexy (think OLD LADY lingerie.) But she said that she thought Dh, her grandson, would like it. Did I mention it was her's?! She said she hadn't worn it (or worn it much) but it had a stain on it. :svengo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie in VA Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 For Christmas a few years back my husband's 90 year old grandmother gave me "lingerie." HER lingerie! It was so ugly and not even close to sexy (think OLD LADY lingerie.) But she said that she thought Dh, her grandson, would like it. Did I mention it was her's?! She said she hadn't worn it (or worn it much) but it had a stain on it. :svengo: This and the alley cats might have caused me to have a hernia!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeachyDoodle Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 LOL, so glad to be of service. ::takes a bow:: Come to think of it, Nat really does resemble a pig. And I REALLY DON'T know if that makes it better or worse! Never mind their grotesque inappropriateness; I'd forgotten how supremely UGLY they are -- especially Nat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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