What to do with a lazy child....

[Jackie in NE]

I tread here very lightly, because I hate to label anyone, least of all my own dc..... But facts are facts, and I have come to admit that I have a lazy child on my hands.

 

A bit of background.... this ds has been late in every developmental way except physically. He excells in sports; has tons of innate ability there, although he doesn't want to work hard there, either. He hates drills, etc. Just loves the thrill of playing hard, and especially, winning. When ds was growing up (he is now 10 yrs old) he did not speak until he was almost 2yrs. old. We had hearing tested extensively and all was well, but we all learned how to sign to ds until he was ready to speak. He has had sensory issues also, for example he could not stand to have his feet touched... even very early on when I would change his diaper, lol. But he has mostly gotten past that.

 

All of this to say, he is a very quirky child, and we have let him go at his own pace, so-to-speak, all these years. But he is so excrutiatingly slow at his school work, and manages to shirk household duties that others perform routinely. His room is an absolute disaster area! It seems that in order to get anything done, I must be there, pushing, cajoling, threatening, etc. He takes no pride in accomplishing simple tasks. He will finally get it done out of obedience, but his obedience is never cheerful. It's always like pulling teeth.

 

So after giving him lots of room for all these years, it now appears that this child has become lazy! Does a person become lazy? Is a person inherently lazy? So how to proceed? There is not a single lazy bone in the other members of the family, so we really have a difficult time understanding this and dealing with it. Yes, we all like to relax and have fun regularly, but we all get our work done also.

 

I will admit that I am terrible at setting out a chore schedule, and then following through with rewards and/or consequences. I simply expect the dc to complete the chore/assignment/task that I set out for them.

 

Since this child is motivated by sports, I have used the term "academic eligibility" to get him to finish school work ahead of the next game/practice, etc. But that technique, though effective, has become so wearing. Why do I constantly have to arm myself with a carrot and a stick??? Why won't this child just pull his weight like the others in the family?

 

Any words of wisdom/experience will be greatly appreciated! I am worried about how ds will eventually function in life. I feel that one of the greatest things I can do for ds is to teach him work ethic, and an appreciation for the fact that work is gift (my belief). But we are so at odds on that topic, I can't even think of where to begin!

 

Hoping to learn something here from all you experienced motivators!

 

:bigear: :bigear:

 

Jackie

[Sweetbeebie]

Does he know what he wants to be when he grows up? It's helped one of my girls to work towards a goal instead of just seeing miles and miles of seeming useless work. If he says a sport ask for a back up:) Sometimes kids just need to see the purpose in school applied to everyday life. Instead of bumping heads try to find the reason he has to know things..

Does he have a coach that you could team up with? Instead of you threating I would talk to the coach and have him have a talk with your son.

As far as the room goes....does he mind if friends see it that messy? I don't let the girls have any friends over until it's clean. Plus I've threatened to invite a boy they like over to see their lovely room:)

[Beth in OH]

I'm going to throw something out here in case it fits your son, particularly because you mention his development and quirkiness. ADD often causes people to have problems putting their intentions into action, unless it is in a very high interest area of their life. This challenge of ADD can look like laziness. I would recommend that you read a couple of books and see if anything seems to fit your ds: Driven to Distraction, Hallowell and Ratey http://www.amazon.com/Driven-Distraction-Recognizing-Attention-Childhood/dp/0684801280/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1287235673&sr=8-1 and

You mean I'm not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy, Kelly and Ramundo http://www.amazon.com/You-Mean-Lazy-Stupid-Crazy/dp/0743264487/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1287235 749&sr=1-1

 

I'm sure others will give you lots of good advice on shaping this character trait, but I wanted to point out the ADD possibility in case you didn't know about it. A person with ADD can know what he should be doing, and yet his brain neurology prevents him from just going ahead and doing it. Neuro-typical people around him think he doesn't try hard enough. He feels bad about himself, because he knows what he should be doing, but can't figure out why he just can't make himself do it. Over a period of years, his self-image grows in his own belief that he is lazy.

 

I have a family member who was not diagnosed with ADD until adulthood, and I have seen this process firsthand. If it turns out that your son has some level of ADD, knowing about the neurology will benefit both of you enormously.

 

Beth

[Jackie in NE]

Beth, thanks for your thoughtful reply. I really don't think this ds is ADD. I say that because this is a boy who can pore for hours over a sports magazine, or sit for hours and draw sports scenes like a basketball game or a soccer match. He is quite good with his fine motor skills, and can really sit for hours concentrating on some sort of play that he likes. We have tried to foster these interests and develop them into something that could cross over into school-type activites, but the moment we intrude on his sports fantasy world, he resists.

 

Literally for years, I have resisted my dh's assessment that this ds is lazy. But I am really at a loss as to another explanation, so I am now looking for ways to deal with it, and teach this ds that there is a time to work, and a time to relax and play.

 

I appreciate your thoughtfulness, and your links, which I may have to use for our other ds.....

 

But that's a whole different story. :)

[Ester Maria]

Well, as I'm ill-tempered today, this might sound less "polished" than usual.

 

Laziness is a HABIT.

That's right. A habit. Something that one adapts to, take upon oneself and then, with time, "naturalizes" it. I'm not saying there aren't people more prone to acquiring this habit and less prone to it, just like with everything else in life, but the bottomline is - it's a habit. Personal experience too, and it took me a while to admit this to myself: that it's not an expression of my geniality, my this or my that, but that it's a simple habit I've taken and, as they say, habits are wonderful servants, but terrible masters. One is to master one's habits, rather than be in the situation where one's habits master one.

 

You have a young child, too young to reach this conclusion out of a genuine personal insight which one does at a much older age, which is why at this point it's your responsibility that your child grows up into a healthy, normal, loving individual, with reasonable habits.

The worst thing to do is to try to read all kinds of things into this. Yes, this or that characteristic, delay or whatnot might have contributed. But more likely than not (of course, there are extreme cases for which that's not true, but based on what you describe, I venture to conclude this isn't what you're dealing with), it's just a regular habit one can work on and get rid of.

 

Kids function well with a set routine. I'm not sure how "big" you are on the daily routine, but for children prone to laziness or distraction, it's extremely important to establish and enforce a daily routine: knowing when it's the time to do what. There are kids that you can "improvize things" with and be more relaxed in terms of day to day life, but your son doesn't fit a typical description of such a child, and it's likely that he needs a solid routine, carefully planned day with precise, carefully planned tasks, at least until he grows out of this habit. That's what I would do and did in past with my own children: if you're not reliable enough for the atmopshere to be relaxed and the schedule flexible and still everything get done, then we need a fixed routine and we need to know exactly, with minutiae, who does what when and what's expected. He might need a lot of supervision and control in the beginning, as well as symbolic rewards for sticking to the schedule, but ultimately, perfect daily routine is what might work surprisingly well.

 

Cleanliness is also a habit - both of oneself and of one's personal space. His room is a mess because of a habit, which can be worked on, just like laziness. If you don't have a child that's reliable and whom you can trust things to function without a set schedule, then you need to find time for him to clean his room, daily and weekly tasks, outline very specific expectations, etc.

[joannqn]

People with ADD can focus very well on things they enjoy. They tend to hyperfocus, or lock onto the interest to the exclusion of all else.

 

That said, the type of rigid scheduling that Ester Maria talks about would help any child, whether they had ADD or not.

[Beth in OH]

I say that because this is a boy who can pore for hours over a sports magazine, or sit for hours and draw sports scenes like a basketball game or a soccer match. He is quite good with his fine motor skills, and can really sit for hours concentrating on some sort of play that he likes. We have tried to foster these interests and develop them into something that could cross over into school-type activites, but the moment we intrude on his sports fantasy world, he resists.

 

When my dd was younger, I never considered her to have ADD, because of exactly the things you mentioned. She was a good student when she wanted to be, could take tests and get A's, etc, could get things done with enough external consequences. I could live with her disatrously messy room, her "laziness", her borrowing my "motivation" to keep herself moving forward, her arguing, her drama. After all, I was homeschooling, right?

 

DD didn't look like what I understood ADD to be. Not only that, both dh and I had pretty strong beliefs that ADD was an over-diagnosed condition that was used to excuse some undesirable character traits. I remember reading an ADD checklist once many years ago and laughingly saying, "With a checklist like this, our whole family has ADD", which supported my belief that ADD was over-diagnosed.

 

When my dd turned 16, her life ran out of control. From the outside, I'm sure my small-town friends were saying that my dd was in a rebellion and making stupid decisions. What I saw from the inside was that my dd didn't appear to be making choices to do dumb things, she just had no regard for consequences of her actions and seemed compelled to be with friends/boyfriend every waking moment. For two years, I struggled to make sense of it. The stress on our entire family was huge, and my relationship with dd was terrible. I began a long journey of trying to understand what was going on and get dd to the other side of it in one piece. I eventually found my way to the ADD literature. I learned "symptoms" of ADD that I had seen all along, but that I didn't realize were ADD. In fact they threw me off course. By then, dd was 18, living in an apartment with friends and going to community college (disastrously, as you might imagine). Because she was an adult, all I could do was educate myself about ADD and pass information along to dd in the hope that she would eventually see it in herself and get help. She was overwhelmed with guilt, because she knew she wasn't living the way she had been brought up and actually wanted to live, but she couldn't make herself do it. When she turned 19, she knew she couldn't change her path without help. That's when she was diagnosed with ADD, and she chose to begin medication.

 

Here are some things about ADD that I wish I had known when dd was younger. Not searching this out when dd was in middle school, and I thought she was lazy and high maintenance, is my biggest parenting regret. 1. People with ADD have the ability to focus on high interest areas for very long periods of time. For a person with ADD, they call it hyper-focus. 2. Fine motor skill problems could be present with ADD, but it's not something you look for. Having good fine motor skills probably doesn't say much about ADD. 3. People with ADD are often oppositional--some to the point of oppositional defiance disorder. It's neurologically connected. The resistance your ds exhibits when you intrude on his fantasy world could be an example. 4. ADD is highly genetic, and if one family member has it, others may well have it to some degree, too. If you have another son that exhibits some ADD tendencies, that increases the likelihood that other children (and one or more parents) have it to some degree, too.

 

I decided to write out this long post, not so that I could convince you to diagnose your ds. I totally support you as being in the best possible position to know whether the personality subtleties that tip the scale toward ADD are present in your son. Over the years of reading this board, though, I have benefited enormously by the responses to other poster's questions. (I almost never start a thread). Since I brought up the topic of ADD, I thought others might be interested, and I wanted to provide the information I wish I had when dd was younger. I also want to add that I am sharing only information that dd herself shares publicly in an effort to help others avoid some of the difficulties she suffered. BTW, dd is 20, is now a theater major (high interest subject for her), has transferred to university, and is doing well living in an apartment with roommates. Our relationship has never been better!

 

Beth

Edited October 16, 2010 by Beth in OH

[DarlaS]

People with ADD can focus very well on things they enjoy. They tend to hyperfocus, or lock onto the interest to the exclusion of all else.

 

That said, the type of rigid scheduling that Ester Maria talks about would help any child, whether they had ADD or not.

 

:iagree:very strongly on both counts --and I think when I was a kid, I needed someone to come schedule me that way... (In fact, my room is a mess, and I could maybe use that now. :blush:)

[Jackie in NE]

Well, as I'm ill-tempered today, this might sound less "polished" than usual.

 

Laziness is a HABIT.

That's right. A habit. Something that one adapts to, take upon oneself and then, with time, "naturalizes" it. I'm not saying there aren't people more prone to acquiring this habit and less prone to it, just like with everything else in life, but the bottomline is - it's a habit. Personal experience too, and it took me a while to admit this to myself: that it's not an expression of my geniality, my this or my that, but that it's a simple habit I've taken and, as they say, habits are wonderful servants, but terrible masters. One is to master one's habits, rather than be in the situation where one's habits master one.

 

You have a young child, too young to reach this conclusion out of a genuine personal insight which one does at a much older age, which is why at this point it's your responsibility that your child grows up into a healthy, normal, loving individual, with reasonable habits.

The worst thing to do is to try to read all kinds of things into this. Yes, this or that characteristic, delay or whatnot might have contributed. But more likely than not (of course, there are extreme cases for which that's not true, but based on what you describe, I venture to conclude this isn't what you're dealing with), it's just a regular habit one can work on and get rid of.

 

Kids function well with a set routine. I'm not sure how "big" you are on the daily routine, but for children prone to laziness or distraction, it's extremely important to establish and enforce a daily routine: knowing when it's the time to do what. There are kids that you can "improvize things" with and be more relaxed in terms of day to day life, but your son doesn't fit a typical description of such a child, and it's likely that he needs a solid routine, carefully planned day with precise, carefully planned tasks, at least until he grows out of this habit. That's what I would do and did in past with my own children: if you're not reliable enough for the atmopshere to be relaxed and the schedule flexible and still everything get done, then we need a fixed routine and we need to know exactly, with minutiae, who does what when and what's expected. He might need a lot of supervision and control in the beginning, as well as symbolic rewards for sticking to the schedule, but ultimately, perfect daily routine is what might work surprisingly well.

 

Cleanliness is also a habit - both of oneself and of one's personal space. His room is a mess because of a habit, which can be worked on, just like laziness. If you don't have a child that's reliable and whom you can trust things to function without a set schedule, then you need to find time for him to clean his room, daily and weekly tasks, outline very specific expectations, etc.

 

Well this post gives me a lot to think about. I really believe that ds would benefit greatly from this type of structure. I do believe I have allowed his habitual laziness and messiness to rule his daily life. On those occasions when I'm "on top of it", and I get ds to have a productive day, I can see that he feels good about himself. He is proud to have a neat room, his schoolwork done, his piano practiced, and extra time to play. He likely complained every step of the way, but is nonetheless happy with the outcome. I do believe he would have more self-confidence if he could look back on the day and see all that he had accomplished. But we just cannot seem to stick to a routine. He eventually shirks his chores and his schoolwork. I am clearly not doing my job in making sure that he does the things I assign him.

 

I have 4 dc. We have a very busy life. I simply cannot imagine having the time to check up on him for every.single.thing. So how can I motivate him? How can I get him to actually do the things he's supposed to do on a regular basis? I can imagine a world where I tell ds, very quietly, that here is his list of chores, and school work that he is expected to do on a daily basis. If these things are not done each day to my standards, he will not be allowed his extracurricular activities (mostly sports) that week. Gosh that seems severe. My dc do not have a lot of things. They are not allowed to watch videos during the week, although they are allowed videos on the weekend. They do not have a lot of play dates. But they do spontaneously meet up with friends after school. But frankly, by that time of day, I am so tired, I am not very good at checking up on things to see if they're done. I just let them go and play so that I can relax for a few minutes.

 

My other dc more or less do their work, especially their school work, without being hounded. Their rooms are another story. In any case, it makes sense, just from my own observations, that some people are more prone to discipline than others, and conversely some are more prone to laziness than others. And I really think that your post has given me a window into my own tendency to be messy. And in the end, I guess the buck stops with me. I am the leader of the household since my dh is away most of the time. So if I want different results, I suppose I need to provide different leadership.

 

Like I said at the beginning.... you have given me much to think about. Thank you for saying it plainly.

 

Jackie

[fairfarmhand]

I have 4 dc. We have a very busy life. I simply cannot imagine having the time to check up on him for every.single.thing. So how can I motivate him? How can I get him to actually do the things he's supposed to do on a regular basis? I can imagine a world where I tell ds, very quietly, that here is his list of chores, and school work that he is expected to do on a daily basis. If these things are not done each day to my standards, he will not be allowed his extracurricular activities (mostly sports) that week. Gosh that seems severe. My dc do not have a lot of things. They are not allowed to watch videos during the week, although they are allowed videos on the weekend. They do not have a lot of play dates. But they do spontaneously meet up with friends after school. But frankly, by that time of day, I am so tired, I am not very good at checking up on things to see if they're done. I just let them go and play so that I can relax for a few minutes.

 

 

 

 

 

I;ve had these exact same thoughts. And I came to this conclusion....I was letting guilt keep me from providing the consequences I knew my kid needed. Guilt that , bless her heart, she doesn't have a lot of social stuff anyway since the poor thing is homeschooled; she really IS a good kid...blah blah blah....in me, it was an EXCUSE for not being the bad guy and giving out the tough consequences. (not saying it is necessarily that way with you) I didn't want to deal with the big fight it would cause, because, like you, I also have 4 kids and a busy schedule.

 

I began to think...if I pass out the consequences routinely, then eventually she will get a clue that MOM MEANS WHAT SHE SAYS! And I could stop the nagging, complaining and griping. All that negativity was also affecting our relationship. I decided to put the ball in her court so to speak. If she didn't do what she needed to, SHE was choosing to have her activities curtailed. It had nothing to do with me. It was all her choice. All of a sudden all the emotion went out of our constant butting heads. It was HER CHOICE to miss a party or activity. Not mine.

 

I had to get into a routine, and my checking had to happen at a time of day when I had more energy. (morning for me) And one thing I did, was that before breakfast you must have A, B, and C done. I have sat down to eat pancakes by myself before since my kids had not finished their stuff. Now when they are done they are welcome to join me, but every morning before breakfast it is Make your bed, Get dressed, Pick up your clothes, and feed an animal.

 

 

If it was up to me to check later, it wouldn't get done since after school time I'm like you. I jsut want to be alone for a few minutes.

 

Perhaps you need to put in some chores at regular times during the day (before breakfast, before snack, before dinner) I've found that knowing what comes next is a great motivator for my kids.

[AK_Mom4]

My DS14 is much like what you describe. And I know that all children are different, but at age 9 or 10, he would have just floundered if I had given him a list of chores and schoolwork and said "get these done or else". He did not have the organizational skills to tackle a list like that.

 

At age 9/10, I could give him a list, but I would have needed to have him check in with me after he "finished" each item on the list and I would verify that it was done properly. And if it wasn't, I would break the list down into small, easier to manage tasks...... It seemed like if the task was too big, he just avoided doing it....

 

It does improve with time. But bad routines lead to bad habits for my DS14, so at this point, I help him make sure he has "good routines". Maybe that would be something to concentrate on for a while. Small tasks and good routines?

[goldberry]

When my dd was younger, I never considered her to have ADD, because of exactly the things you mentioned. She was a good student when she wanted to be, could take tests and get A's, etc, could get things done with enough external consequences. I could live with her disatrously messy room, her "laziness", her borrowing my "motivation" to keep herself moving forward, her arguing, her drama. After all, I was homeschooling, right?

 

DD didn't look like what I understood ADD to be.

Beth

 

Beth, I had the exact same experience. I have reached the conclusion that my DD11 is ADD inattentive type. Because she didn't have the hyperactivity, it didn't occur to me until recently to even consider ADD. I really only discovered this upon beginning homeschooling about a year ago. I always just thought the same, she was lazy, wasn't listening, or just had the worst case of forgetfulness EVER.

 

Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm glad I'm discovering it early enough to maybe help her through the teen years.

[Beth in OH]

Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm glad I'm discovering it early enough to maybe help her through the teen years.

 

Knowledge is a powerful thing! Thanks for letting me know you found this helpful. It encourages me to keep putting this stuff out there in cyberspace. :)

[EKS]

Since you say he has been quirky in other ways, I'd recommend that you read the book The Myth of Laziness by Mel Levine. Many times undiagnosed learning disabilities or executive function issues look like laziness.

[bookfiend]

Since you say he has been quirky in other ways, I'd recommend that you read the book The Myth of Laziness by Mel Levine. Many times undiagnosed learning disabilities or executive function issues look like laziness.

 

I second this book.

Edited October 17, 2010 by bookfiend
retracting secondary statement

[SnowWhite]

I have been astounded by the difference a written list of tasks makes to my ds9. (I have wondered about ADD in his and MY case as well). That is what I used for our school work and it has cut our day in half, nearly.

 

Dh is helping us get a handle on housework with specific requirements and it DOES seem harsh at times, but for us there is NO entertainment or play of any kind until all of our floors are empty/tidy and beds are made. It's just our rule (which is met with many sighs and complaints so far, but hopefully will become second nature).

[cin]

You describe my 9 yr old daughter. She has executive skills dysfunction, as well as mild Asperger's, SID, and a few other incidental things. Executive Skills Dysfunction might be part of the problem. It is often mistaken for ADD (without the H). ADDers can hyperfocus on stuff. Building a pyramid with legos, playing a game, reading a book they LOVE, etc.

 

One of the issues with executive skills dysfunction is organization. My daughter is SO. DISORGANIZED. It's shocking, even to me. I tell her to clean up her room and you can almost see the confusion and overwhelmedness on her face. I have to be specific: Pick up the dirty clothes, Put the books away, throw the garbage away, etc. And I ahve to stay with her. Frustrating. SO. FRUSTRATING.

 

High Structure is what the neuro psych said she needed. We now have a specific area in the basement for schoolwork (it is finished, we're not banished to a cement cell ;)) And specific times. What's not done by 1:00 gets done in the evenings with Daddy, and any afternoon activities are cancelled.

[Unicorn.]

Beth, thanks for your thoughtful reply. I really don't think this ds is ADD. I say that because this is a boy who can pore for hours over a sports magazine, or sit for hours and draw sports scenes like a basketball game or a soccer match. He is quite good with his fine motor skills, and can really sit for hours concentrating on some sort of play that he likes. We have tried to foster these interests and develop them into something that could cross over into school-type activites, but the moment we intrude on his sports fantasy world, he resists.

:)

 

 

Please don't dismiss the possibility of ADD. The issues w/ your ds are all too familiar. As others have said, they can hyper-focus on anything that holds a high interest for them. I've read everything on ADD/ADHD that I could get my hands on. The best book by far is Understanding Girls with ADHD by Kathleen Nadeau. Yes I know it says girls, BUT, I see my ds's ADD issues, my dh's ADD, and my dd's issues. I never thought dd#1 could have ADD, she just didn't fit w/ any of the stuff I had read about.

 

As others have said, ADD can look like laziness. It doesn't mean hyper. They just can't see the tree for the forest- ya know.

[Trish]

Well this post gives me a lot to think about. I really believe that ds would benefit greatly from this type of structure. I do believe I have allowed his habitual laziness and messiness to rule his daily life. On those occasions when I'm "on top of it", and I get ds to have a productive day, I can see that he feels good about himself. He is proud to have a neat room, his schoolwork done, his piano practiced, and extra time to play. He likely complained every step of the way, but is nonetheless happy with the outcome. I do believe he would have more self-confidence if he could look back on the day and see all that he had accomplished. But we just cannot seem to stick to a routine. He eventually shirks his chores and his schoolwork. I am clearly not doing my job in making sure that he does the things I assign him.

 

I have 4 dc. We have a very busy life. I simply cannot imagine having the time to check up on him for every.single.thing. So how can I motivate him? How can I get him to actually do the things he's supposed to do on a regular basis? I can imagine a world where I tell ds, very quietly, that here is his list of chores, and school work that he is expected to do on a daily basis. If these things are not done each day to my standards, he will not be allowed his extracurricular activities (mostly sports) that week. Gosh that seems severe.

My other dc more or less do their work, especially their school work, without being hounded. Their rooms are another story.

 

Jackie

 

We've had some similar problems, though maybe not to the degree your son is showing. What has worked for us is CHECKLISTS! Mental lists (kept by me of course) have not worked, because it's too much to keep track of. So each day we print off a checklist of what has to be done to be considered a successful day. (if you know it's going to be a weird day with appointments etc. you can modify the list) We have even gotten as specifc as "say good morning to other family members" which the kids chuckle about, and that way their day starts off with a completed task. I have one ds who would not eat a breakfast without tremendous nagging, but now it gets done because it is on "the list."

 

The list rules whether the day's pleasures can kick in. If completed, yes. If not, no. We don't have videogames etc. during the week either, but we do allow a couple hours of TV at the end of the day with a snack, so that is what they would lose for an "incomplete" day. And if the "incomplete" included schoolwork, then that work would have to be made up before the weekend, or the weekend priviliges would not kick in. (barring illness etc.)

 

You said your son is highly motivated for the things he wants. Once he sees the connection between completed checklists and WHAT HE WANTS (sports, weekend privileges, etc.) then perhaps the motivation to complete your list will materialize. At least this has proven true for my "formerly lazy" children!

 

I honestly though we could get it all done without structure, because they're basically good kids. But they ARE kids, and they WILL shirk if I allow it. It was my husband who came up with the checklist idea (and you really need Hubby on the same page with this so he doesn't make excuses for DS), but it has worked like a charm.

 

It has also made our household calmer, and less stressed. Nagging annoys everyone, including the person doing the nagging (ME!). You can even make them be in charge of checking off everything themselves -- if they aren't truthful, that's a separate consequene to be dealt with later.

 

Occasionally they will check off "practiced piano" after half a practice, and I will have to send them back to finish. "That's only HALF a check!"

 

Hope this helps!

[Night Elf]

People with ADD can focus very well on things they enjoy. They tend to hyperfocus, or lock onto the interest to the exclusion of all else.

 

Yes, this is me. I'm on medication for ADD and it's helped tremendously. But I've always appeared to be lazy and unmotivated to my family. They love to remind me of things that happened when I was younger and don't acknowledge that I actually had a reason for doing or not doing things the way they expected. I'm not saying the OPs son is ADD, but just agreeing with this post that there is much more to ADD than meets the eye. I wasn't diagnosed until age 42. And it took me by surprise! :tongue_smilie:

[Perry]

Thank you for writing this out Beth. I'm making an appointment for dd tomorrow.