Are you a control freak??

[Mommyfaithe]

If you are...can you help me to become one?? I have too much on my plate right now...and too many depending on me to get things done...to just be my free and easy/ swing from the hip kinda Mom that I am.....

 

I need to have my menus planned....I need a cleaning schedule built for ME....I have to get my kids scheduled and on-board to help out and get their school work done....

 

So, I am calling on all of you control freaks...come out...come out ....where ever you are...and help me!!

 

Faithe

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

I will be astounded if this is something that can be taught.

 

However, I will read along, because I also need lessons in How To Run a Tight Ship.

 

:lurk5:

[Carrie12345]

I was about to answer "Yes, I am," but I think I must be a totally different breed of control freak, lol. None of those things matter one bit to me! :lol:

[BeckyFL]

That's not the definition of a control freak. I think it's just being organized and sorry, I don't have that gene. I have gotten better and go be inspired to surge forward, but I have to keep reading about it or thinking about it! It's easy to go back to old patterns.

[Jennifer in MI]

I'm very much a control freak. We do all those things around here.

 

I sit down on Friday and plan out our menu for the following week and write out a shopping list.

 

Every Sunday, I go through the kids' lessons and write out what has to be done each day. (Nothing extravagant - most of the time I simply list a subject - math, grammar - the kids know that we just do the next lesson. Sometimes I have to get a bit more detailed - like with Lightning Lit, for example.)

 

I have a list of chores that get done each week. I get that list out every Saturday and the kids choose 3 - 4 chores each. I add to that list as the need arises. So, something like "mop the dining room" will be on there each week. But, "wipe down walls in hallway" is on there about every month. So, I pick and choose chores each week as needed. Chores need to be done by Saturday evening. I don't nag.

 

Occasionally during the week, I'll ask the kids to do an extra chore. I add it to their "school" list. I go over the lists at the end of each day. They have things they do daily - keep room neat, empty dishwasher, bring in dishes after meals, wipe down counters/tabletop, vacuum under table after dinner, etc.

 

Anyway, this works for us!

[Mommyfaithe]

ooohhhhh...kaaaayyyyy....Can someone teach me to be an organized control freak??? Tell me about how you organize you plans, hosekeeping, library books. etc? Do you have one big BOOK OF ALL...or a wall poster? How does everyone know where they are supposed to be....or not be? (Did I tell you guys how I took one ds for his well check twice...3 weeks apart....and not the other ds??)

 

 

Anyway...if someone who is horribly organized...meticulously....and can help me get there...I would be eternally greatful...and so will my family.

 

Thanks,

Faithe

[MamaT]

Another control freak here - if that's how you're defining it. I have too much to do to fly by the seat of my pants.

 

I write a menu/grocery list every week. I know every morning what is for dinner that night and what I have to do to have it ready.

 

All of us have chores before school every morning and then one weekly chore (that is something that needs to be done monthly). Everyone is required to have their beds made and rooms straightened up before they even come out of their room in the morning.

 

For school, the kids have a written page of what needs to be done in every subject every day, and we are not finished until it is done. We start school at the same time every morning - they know to have eaten breakfast, brushed their teeth, done their chore and be in the living room for Bible by 7:00.

 

It works for us.

[MamaT]

As far as appointments, I have a calendar in my kitchen that I write everything on. I also have a small one in my purse that I write things down on when we're out. I immediately transfer to my kitchen calendar when I get home. I put the date library books are due on the calendar.

 

I also make myself a list of things I don't want to forget during the week that are not every week activities, i.e. making a hair appointment. I leave it on the kitchen counter under my calendar to remind me and so I can write down the date/time when the appointment is made.

[Nestof3]

I am one!

 

Having a weekly schedule helps. I am not a time-slot person, but seeing each thing that I want to accomplish for each day, and being able to check them off, helps so much.

 

I printed out this chart and placed it inside of a page protector. I check off things as we do them with an overhead marker.

 

http://ournestof3.blogspot.com/2010/08/our-weekly-schedule-for-2010-2011.html

 

*************************************

 

For meals, I have found this to help:

 

http://ournestof3.blogspot.com/2010/08/wouldnt-you-know-it.html

 

*************************************

 

For cleaning and maintaining order, I do the following:

 

vacuum while the boys get ready for bed (daily -- our house is small)

 

wash a load of clothes once everyone is ready for bed (Essentially the day's clothes plus kitchen towels and washing towels. I do a separate load of bath towels once a week and sheets when I feel they need it.) I dry and fold before bed. They are ready for everyone to get in the morning.

 

run the dishwasher. I unload it and make my bed in the morning while my coffee is brewing. Sometimes, I'm up long enough for it to finish, so I unload it then.

 

everything is put in its home at night. All toys, books, etc. We have small tidy-up moments during the day.

 

Take out trash (after collecting from all rooms) and empty recycle bin every night before bed.

 

bathroom cleaning and dusting: the boys help with this weekly cleaning. I clean the shower sometimes when I'm about to take one. I also wipe down the sink every night after I wash my face and wipe the toilet with Lysol wipes almost daily.

 

mail: I go through it all and handle it immediately. Recycle junk, shred personal stuff, file bills way (one envelope for each of the next three months are in my desk drawer. I file accordingly and pay at the beginning of each month on one day), file health insurance statements and anything else I need to keep. I open any packages and leave feedback or mark received (PBS items). This takes about ten minutes. I clip coupons once a week.

[nono]

Excel (the spreadsheet program) is your friend!

 

I have found I can solve every darn organizational problem I have with one of those spreadsheets or workbooks. The problem I had in the beginning was remembering to open them and read them. Now that I have that down, it's working much better as a plan of attack. :lol:

[....]

:seeya: I doubt this kind of behavior can be taught... I think I became a control freak from years and years of exposure to control-freakiness-circumstances... There's probably some sort of medication I should be on. :001_huh:

 

Would reading some control freaky material help you out with inspiration? Like Managers of their Homes? I'm sure there are other books out there that are similar.

[Mommyfaithe]

Excel (the spreadsheet program) is your friend!

 

I have found I can solve every darn organizational problem I have with one of those spreadsheets or workbooks. The problem I had in the beginning was remembering to open them and read them. Now that I have that down, it's working much better as a plan of attack. :lol:

 

Is there a "spreadsheets for Dummies" book?? I have NO IDEA how to make one that prints properly.

 

Thanks,

Faithe

[nono]

Is there a "spreadsheets for Dummies" book?? I have NO IDEA how to make one that prints properly.

 

Thanks,

Faithe

 

Oh, trust me, I'm a dummy when it comes to them. I'll send you copies of mine if you want...heading out the door now, and will PM you later! :001_smile:

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

Excel (the spreadsheet program) is your friend!

 

I have found I can solve every darn organizational problem I have with one of those spreadsheets or workbooks. The problem I had in the beginning was remembering to open them and read them. Now that I have that down, it's working much better as a plan of attack. :lol:

 

I need to hear more about the transition, nono! I can make the prettiest spreadsheets, schedules and workbooks on the planet. I could create one of those "Suzy Homemaker Christian Loveliness Muffin Baker" blogs and no one would ever know it was a big fat lie.

 

So. How do you remember to open up your plans? I sometimes remember them as I'm going to bed at midnight. Then I go to bed feeling bad about myself for flaking out again.

[Mrs Mungo]

If you are...can you help me to become one?? I have too much on my plate right now...and too many depending on me to get things done...to just be my free and easy/ swing from the hip kinda Mom that I am.....

 

I need to have my menus planned....I need a cleaning schedule built for ME....I have to get my kids scheduled and on-board to help out and get their school work done....

 

So, I am calling on all of you control freaks...come out...come out ....where ever you are...and help me!!

 

Faithe

 

By nature? No. By necessity for a household that runs with relative ease? Yes.

[Old Dominion Heather]

This helps me:

 

Chore Buster

[Catwoman]

I was about to answer "Yes, I am," but I think I must be a totally different breed of control freak, lol. None of those things matter one bit to me! :lol:

 

Same here! :D I was thinking of a different type of control freak, too. :tongue_smilie:

 

Cat

[Catherine]

My first thought? ALL homeschoolers are control freaks-otherwise, we wouldn't care enough to do all the work.

[Tree House Academy]

I am not sure you are looking to become a control freak. LOL Maybe to gain control over your own situations, but not a control freak. When I say I am a control freak, I mean it affects my life negatively in big ways. For instance, I won't ride in a car with someone else driving (except my husband) because I want to have control at all time. If I feel like I am losing control over something, I obsess over it ad nauseum. I don't think you want that.

 

How about this: You want to micromanage your life. LOL That is what I call it when I get things so organized. I find that organizing too much can be just as detrimental as not organizing enough!

Edited September 9, 2010 by Tree House Academy

[bookfiend]

ooohhhhh...kaaaayyyyy....Can someone teach me to be an organized control freak??? Tell me about how you organize you plans, hosekeeping, library books. etc? Do you have one big BOOK OF ALL...or a wall poster?

 

For our daily lives and calendars - Franklin Planner (I use computer software) This tracks everyone's appointments and to-do lists

 

For yearly lesson plans - a big excel spreadsheet

 

For boys weekly assignment sheets - A word document that I update (15 minutes) every week from the excel spreadsheet.

 

For chores - Motivated Moms (from an excellent tip found at WTM)

 

I would be glad to send you copies of anything, but counsel you to get one area under control at a time. Maybe start with a calendar that is on the computer. For us this is the key that turns everything. Wish you lived close and I would gladly spend the day helping you develop a daily/weekly plan.

[Dana]

I also think accepting that not every system will work.

 

For instance, I keep a spreadsheet with homeschool plans for the year - different tabs for each subject.

My first year, I wrote up daily lists (week at a glance) on a printed page.

That wasn't too effective.

 

Then, middle of last year, I started using a Word document and list tasks (goals) for the week by subject. I have lunch and appointments at the bottom of the page so I know what those plans are. I highlight what we do as we go through the week. (Unfortunately, I now have to go through my spreadsheet and retype plans for the year as Word documents, so I can cut & paste in my weekly plans.)

 

So what works for you at one point will often need to be adapted at a later point.

 

And I think what you're looking for is more organizational ideas. Those of us who are control freaks really have more trouble with letting go when something else happens... "That's not on my list!!!! We can't follow that rabbit trail; we'll get behind!!!!" :glare: I need to still use the organizational skills but learn how to :chillpill:.

 

(And don't forget to back up your computer files!!)

[nono]

I need to hear more about the transition, nono! I can make the prettiest spreadsheets, schedules and workbooks on the planet. I could create one of those "Suzy Homemaker Christian Loveliness Muffin Baker" blogs and no one would ever know it was a big fat lie.

 

So. How do you remember to open up your plans? I sometimes remember them as I'm going to bed at midnight. Then I go to bed feeling bad about myself for flaking out again.

 

Oh, my spreadsheets are ugly and really just grids that I drag items around. It's still an evolving process, but I had to compartmentalize my life into 3 spreadsheets: homemaking, homeschooling, and exercise. On these grids, I can basically represent a week and the time of day (X and Y

axes).

 

How did I start? I admitted my entire transition to motherhood and homemaking was a complete disaster. I gave myself a week or so to just get the absolute basics done (I used to have to list "tooth brushing" or I'd possibly forget until lunchtime to get this done for everyone. :001_huh: ) Considering the amount of responsibility I had during my career, no one would believe I had to go down to that level of detail, but I did.

 

I also made a rule to consult the homemaking spreadsheet before getting out of bed in the morning. So, the laptop was beside my bed, and I'd pull it out. I built on the little successes. I made sure I only gave myself a few things to do for the first few weeks so that I wouldn't abandon ship.

 

I fill in each cell with a fill color for getting things complete.

I loved seeing all those filled in cells at the end of the week (gee, got the teeth brushed in the morning all 7 days -- high five yourself... :rolleyes: ). Seems silly, but I had to give myself credit for what was happening, and then I also had a record of what wasn't working, so I could think of ways to tackle those problem areas. Now, I just list the things I'm likely to forget. I'm relieved to report that generally, personal grooming items don't have to be listed anymore! :D

 

I hope that makes sense. Right now, I'm working out how to roll my 3 spreadsheets up into 1 -- I technically know how to do it, but want them to functionally work for me before I bother. So, I'm mulling it over. HTH a little. I'm sure there's other systems that would work better, but I found that as I'm aging, I'm needing 1 format as my go to format, and for me, Excel is fitting the bill.

[Carol in Cal.]

I'm a modified control freak. Here's what I did through 8th grade:

 

I had a weekly 'commitment' in each subject. Math--5 lessons. Grammar--4. Spelling--4. Music--1. History--2. Science--2. Literature--4. That kind of thing. I kept track in the back of my head whether we were ahead or behind based on that commitment. It was kind of minimal and I usually beat it, but I chose to feel good about any week in which I made it. Then, I could flex appropriately. If we were ahead in every area and a great field trip popped up, I could jump on it. If we weren't I wouldn't. It's really that simple.

 

Math, grammar, history, and science were mostly 'do the next thing' by the middle school level. However, I looked for enrichment substitutes for literature, history, science, and sometimes even writing, and 'counted' them as they came up.

 

2-3 times per year I would sit down and think about DD. Strengths, weaknesses, interests, etc. Then I would make mid-course adjustments if necessary. For instance one year I realized that she was wasting her time making history outlines. They were extremely easy for her, and she didn't mind them, but it was pure busywork. I decided to teach historical thesis development and some critical thinking in history a little earlier than TWTM recommended instead of continuing with that outline thing. That way she learned some new skills and applied them in an area of strength. I had been starting to introduce that in literature, but it actually worked a lot better in history because there were facts to draw on, so she did not have to construct an argument so abstractly. So the time I took to think about status and what to do next was really valuable. I should add that only rarely did this reflection result in changing a curriculum. Mostly I just started to use the curriculum a bit differently.

 

Another example: At one point DD was having a terrible time editing her writing. Her attitude was that it was like asking her to cut up her own baby, it was horrible. I needed another approach to teach that skill, so I bought Editor in Chief and assigned it, and I also signed her up for a BRAVEWRITER class, which got her over this hump by having the assignment to revise come from outside the family, IYKWIM. Just a slight mid-course correction there--choosing another way to teach the same material.

 

That's the 'I'm a control freak, but flex a little more than to use a spreadsheet' approach that has worked very well for me.

[Laurie4b]

Actually, what you will get from natural control-freaks will probably not work for you because it will be too detail-oriented and require more maintenance than you are likely to be able to handle if your nature is to fly-by-the-seat-of-your pants. It often works better to see what works for others who are wired more like you.

 

Here are a few suggestions that work for me (who is wired to fly by the seat of her pants):

 

Check out Flylady.net. Even if you don't follow her whole system, the idea of baby-steps (which you'll need to apply to everything, not just to housekeeping as her site does) is very important. Ditto "you can do anything for 15 min" and breaking tasks down into 15 min. tasks. Her system for housekeeping really does work. (This system was created for people who struggle, not for people who are wired to be able to do it. It works very well for people with ADHD as well.)

 

Take some time off and plan a weekly schedule.

Get up and get school started at the same time each day. (That's the first step if you're not already doing it. Do that for a solid week, then do the next thing)

Your kids vary in age and need for you. I would suggest following the same routine for each every day in terms of the basics: math, writing, reading. For the older kids, make it a routine time of day when you help them with the stuff they can't do independently. Start with that much and "fly by the seat of your pants" for other subjects, but get those done systematically.

(If you become successful with a system for those things for a month, you can take the next step of a system for other subjects, but if you're doing this much, you're at a success level already.)

 

Meals: write down fast meals (or cheap meals or whatever it is that is important to you.) Get an idea of the basic ingredients and stock up on those whenver you're at the store. I don't plan the menus out for a week, but I do make sure I've got stuff for the typical stuff we fix. That takes me way less time than detailed menu planning, and given that we live so close to a grocery store (less than 5 min), it's the best use of my time and doesn't strain my fly-by-the-seat nature.

 

HTH.

[KidsHappen]

Oh my goodness, no. I used to be but I found that being easy going, go with the flow attitude to be much less stressful and frustrating.

[Tap]

Nope. I am actually pretty easy going.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Not a control freak. All those charts and calendars would make me nuts. I don't really care if you do the job my way as long as it's done and minimally competent. I do have a plan of attack and lists. Otherwise we'd all be starving, naked and living in squalor.

 

Laundry~anyone over 12 does their own, little kids each have their own basket and dh and I have ours. I throw that in at night as needed and hang to dry next morning. Then it's back in the basket and to their room. It saves sorting. What happens after that I close my eyes to. I'm pretty sure the 9yo dresses from the basket and his dresser sits empty. I do help 3yo get hers put away.

 

Cleaning~kids all have chores they know they do every day ie. trash, pets, belongings put away, quick living room pick up, dishes. I gave each room a day for deep cleaning.

Sunday-porches and doors

Mon-our bedroom and bath

Tue-kids' bath and entry room

Wed-kitchen and back hall

Thu-yard/lawn

Fri-living room

Those may get a brush up during the week but on those days they get a good solid cleaning. I mean cabinets, fridge, cobwebs in corners, move furniture sweeping. It doesn't take long because I do it every week and it's not filthy. It took me 20 years to figure that out. Much less time to do it every week than wait and make it a major 5 hour event. Honest. Each room probably takes 30-45 minutes with kids helping. Kids rooms are their problem.

 

Schedule~dry erase calendar on fridge, I make the master each month. If you need something else you better put it on the calendar or it won't get done. No way will mentioning it in passing get me to remember.

 

Meals~I make a list each week (when I shop) of what meals I've got and add until I've got 7. We eat them in whatever order we want but at least I know we've got food.

 

School~ I chose a 'do the next thing' curriculum. We school year round and more than 180 days so I just don't worry about it. We'll be done when we're done.

I reserve the right as Empress of All to change my mind and take a day off whenever I want. Slaves, er children, can make meals and clean all by themselves occasionally.

[choirfarm]

Part of it is concentrating on one thing at a time. I couldn't tell from your post what your greatest need is. The true reality is it will take you years to become a true control freak. If you try to conquer all areas at a time, you will give up. It takes consistency until something becomes a habit. For example:

 

We have a big calendar that hangs on the wall. I have one in my purse. If an invitation comes in the mail or someone gives it to a child, then I write it on both calendars. IMMEDIATELY. At the dentist, when he gives me the appt, I don't take those stupid, loosable cards, I write it on my calendar in my purse, then take it out IMMEDIATELY to write it on the big calendar.

 

It took me time to do this consistently, but now I don't think about it...EXCEPT.. now my dh has added the computer so it shows up on his smart phone. So now adding updating the computer calendar is still getting added and i haven't found a way to be consistent about it yet.

 

 

As far as housework, the easiest thing to do would be to just take 30 minutes...yes I said 30 minutes each day. Then EVERYONE, starts at one end of the house in the schoolroom: one child and I pick up and moves things back where they belong, another dusts with the feather duster, another vacuumes. We move to the hall where one sweeps, one wipes down the bathroom, one moves to the kitchen to load the dishwaser. The one that wiped the hall bath, wipes down the counters. The other mops when we are all done. We move to the living room and once again a child and I straighten, one duss, one vacuumes and the room is done. By then, the main areas are done.

 

The next day we do the part of the house we may not have gotten to. That is our daily routine. Now, it isn't presidential clean, but it is clean enough I'm not embarressed for someone to come over. Working together helps people not to slack, since I'm right there. When my children were younger I would set the timer and we would race.

 

Christine

 

QUOTE=Mommyfaithe;2018955]If you are...can you help me to become one?? I have too much on my plate right now...and too many depending on me to get things done...to just be my free and easy/ swing from the hip kinda Mom that I am.....

 

I need to have my menus planned....I need a cleaning schedule built for ME....I have to get my kids scheduled and on-board to help out and get their school work done....

 

So, I am calling on all of you control freaks...come out...come out ....where ever you are...and help me!!

 

Faithe

[bookfiend]

The benefits of organization are that once I've thought the process through and put the information where it needs to go; our calendar, the lesson plan, the chore chart - then I don't have to waste limted mental energy adressing it again.

 

Maybe brains truly are wired differently, but if someone is feeling overwhelmed in this area, I think it is often that they are re-thinking, re-planning, re-listing the same things in their minds over and over in an attempt to not forget.

 

Control is a whole different species IMO. I think control speaks of inflexibility and a desire to mandate/micromagae the details. Organization and control are not interdependent; you can have one without the other.

[Mommyfaithe]

Not a control freak. All those charts and calendars would make me nuts. I don't really care if you do the job my way as long as it's done and minimally competent. I do have a plan of attack and lists. Otherwise we'd all be starving, naked and living in squalor.

 

Laundry~anyone over 12 does their own, little kids each have their own basket and dh and I have ours. I throw that in at night as needed and hang to dry next morning. Then it's back in the basket and to their room. It saves sorting. What happens after that I close my eyes to. I'm pretty sure the 9yo dresses from the basket and his dresser sits empty. I do help 3yo get hers put away.

 

Cleaning~kids all have chores they know they do every day ie. trash, pets, belongings put away, quick living room pick up, dishes. I gave each room a day for deep cleaning.

Sunday-porches and doors

Mon-our bedroom and bath

Tue-kids' bath and entry room

Wed-kitchen and back hall

Thu-yard/lawn

Fri-living room

Those may get a brush up during the week but on those days they get a good solid cleaning. I mean cabinets, fridge, cobwebs in corners, move furniture sweeping. It doesn't take long because I do it every week and it's not filthy. It took me 20 years to figure that out. Much less time to do it every week than wait and make it a major 5 hour event. Honest. Each room probably takes 30-45 minutes with kids helping. Kids rooms are their problem.

 

Schedule~dry erase calendar on fridge, I make the master each month. If you need something else you better put it on the calendar or it won't get done. No way will mentioning it in passing get me to remember.

 

Meals~I make a list each week (when I shop) of what meals I've got and add until I've got 7. We eat them in whatever order we want but at least I know we've got food.

 

School~ I chose a 'do the next thing' curriculum. We school year round and more than 180 days so I just don't worry about it. We'll be done when we're done.

I reserve the right as Empress of All to change my mind and take a day off whenever I want. Slaves, er children, can make meals and clean all by themselves occasionally.

 

This is so similar to what I already do....even the once a week around the house....LOL. My kids all do their own laundry and dishes, as I don't have a dishwasher. My kids take turns making breakfast.

 

I still feel really out there lately though...

Maybe it is because my diabetes is giving me a run for my money and I am in constant exhaustion/ brain fog.

 

I need to get off this puter and back to real life.....

 

Gotta get those schedules done and the kiddoes moving...

 

Thanks for all the tips....I have to get back to my Flylady like routines and actually ORDER this years books!!!

 

OY VEY!

Faithe

[Joyofsixreboot]

This is so similar to what I already do....even the once a week around the house....LOL. My kids all do their own laundry and dishes, as I don't have a dishwasher. My kids take turns making breakfast.

 

 

LOL, then I guess I was no help. And yes, I have to limit my 'puter or NOTHING gets done.