Appropriate consequence for 6yo who dropped his brother's PSP in the toilet?

[mazakaal]

My 12yo recently got a used PSP with money that his grandmother had given him. Today my 6yo got angry with the 12yo because the 12yo had inadvertently hurt him when they were play fighting. I have no idea why, because he's never done anything like this before, but he calmly went, got the PSP, and dropped it in the toilet. He said that he didn't mean for it to go in the toilet, that it slipped, but obviously he did carry it into the bathroom and hold it over the toilet, so the blame rests solely with him. 12yo is now trying to dry it with a hairdryer on cool setting, and I'm hoping that the thing isn't destroyed.

 

What do you think the appropriate consequence should be for the 6yo? The 12yo had received a Nintendo DS for Christmas last year, and part of the agreement in letting him get a PSP was that he had to give up the DS and let the other 3dc share it. I'm thinking the 6yo should be banned from the DS for a month. Does that sound like a punishment that fits the crime? Too lenient? Too much? Dh is out of town and I'm at a loss as to what to do. Thanks.

[aggieamy]

Wow. Tough situation. Does the 6yo have anything of value that could be sold to replace the PSP if it can't be fixed?

[mazakaal]

Not really. He has lots of toys, but nothing really of value. He'd have to sell a whole lot of stuff to get £100, and a lot of his toys are things that really belong to all the kids to share.

[Halcyon]

I would have him do his brother's chores for a set period of time, and then you replace the toy.

[Hockey Mom]

Do you know how long it was in the toilet? After your DS dries it with the dryer, have him put it in a bag of rice and seal it for at least 24 hours. It may work, it may not. But it's worth a shot.

 

As far as punishment goes, what does the 6 y/o love to do? Is it the DS? Is it tv? Is it legos? Whatever his "love" is, he would be grounded for at least a week from it. And an apology letter/picture would be written/drawn for big brother, if this were my 6 y/o.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think being banned from the ds is appropriate. What he did was deliberate and vindictive (which is not to say that your ds himself is a vindictive child). 1 month seems a bit long though for a 6 year old. A 2 week ban?

[Dobela]

I don't think a one month ban is too long. And, if the PSP is broken, I think that the 6yo should lose for a very very long time the ds. At least as long as the 12yo has to wait to have the PSP replaced. In our house the ds would also go to the 12 yo so he can have games to play in the meantime and the 6yo would have none.

 

If I was upset enough I would also find a law that fits this - like malicious vandalism - and explain what can happen if he does this to someone outside of the family - fines, jail terms, etc. What he did is a big deal and I would make a big deal out of it in a matter of fact way using real consequences that have big impact.

[SailorMom]

I know 6 is young, but I would make him work it off. Assign values to certain chores - and he has to keep doing them until he makes up the value.

[SonshineLearner]

I do the things you do for cell phone... rice and stuff... consequence?? hmmm... I don't know about those...

[mazakaal]

It was only in the toilet for a second I think. I'm pretty sure he grabbed it right back out immediately. I've put it into a bag of rice now.

 

There isn't anything that 6yo loves to do. He likes playing with lots of different things, but there's no one thing in particular. The one thing he loves is his Build-a-Bear wolf that he got for his last birthday, but I don't think I could take that from him. That seems too cruel as it's a 'comfort toy.' I could ban him from the DS and computer for a week or two and have him do 12yo's chores (though I'm going really light on the chores as we're on summer break). And I like the apology letter, too.

 

Thanks for the ideas. Keep them coming.

[mazakaal]

If I was upset enough I would also find a law that fits this - like malicious vandalism - and explain what can happen if he does this to someone outside of the family - fines, jail terms, etc. What he did is a big deal and I would make a big deal out of it in a matter of fact way using real consequences that have big impact.

 

Oooooh, I like this idea. Off to research laws on malicious vandalism.

[ereks mom]

I don't think a one month ban is too long. And, if the PSP is broken, I think that the 6yo should lose for a very very long time the ds. At least as long as the 12yo has to wait to have the PSP replaced. In our house the ds would also go to the 12 yo so he can have games to play in the meantime and the 6yo would have none.

 

If I was upset enough I would also find a law that fits this - like malicious vandalism - and explain what can happen if he does this to someone outside of the family - fines, jail terms, etc. What he did is a big deal and I would make a big deal out of it in a matter of fact way using real consequences that have big impact.

 

:iagree:

[In The Great White North]

I don't think a one month ban is too long. And, if the PSP is broken, I think that the 6yo should lose for a very very long time the ds. At least as long as the 12yo has to wait to have the PSP replaced. In our house the ds would also go to the 12 yo so he can have games to play in the meantime and the 6yo would have none.

 

 

:iagree:Otherwise, the 6yo has gotten his revenge and it was worth it (from his POV - He gets punished for a month and 12yo gets punished forever.) If he thinks his revenge was worth the cost to him, nothing 12yo owns will be safe. And in a few years, worst case scenario, nothing of yours will be safe either.

 

I like the idea of doing 12yo's chores til it is replaced too.

[mom2jjka]

If that happened at our house, I'd probably have to prevent the 12 yr old from dunking the 6 yr old into the toilet for revenge. :001_rolleyes:

[AHASRADA]

I don't think a one month ban is too long. And, if the PSP is broken, I think that the 6yo should lose for a very very long time the ds. At least as long as the 12yo has to wait to have the PSP replaced. In our house the ds would also go to the 12 yo so he can have games to play in the meantime and the 6yo would have none.

 

If I was upset enough I would also find a law that fits this - like malicious vandalism - and explain what can happen if he does this to someone outside of the family - fines, jail terms, etc. What he did is a big deal and I would make a big deal out of it in a matter of fact way using real consequences that have big impact.

 

:iagree: Yes, this.

[mazakaal]

So I explained consequences to the 6yo and he's upset, but handling it. A while later I told the 12yo that the 6yo would be doing his chores for a week, was banished from computer and DS until the PSP is up and working, possibly longer, and would have to write an apology. The 12yo said that he agreed with the other consequences, but thought the written apology was way over the top and told 6yo that he didn't have to do that. LOL Can you tell how much the 12yo hates writing? Fortunately, the 6yo had already written the note.

 

And something I completely forgot about, the 6yo still has the £60 from grandma. So if the PSP needs to be replaced, his money will go towards it and he can work the rest off.

[Abigail4476]

I don't think a one month ban is too long. And, if the PSP is broken, I think that the 6yo should lose for a very very long time the ds. At least as long as the 12yo has to wait to have the PSP replaced. In our house the ds would also go to the 12 yo so he can have games to play in the meantime and the 6yo would have none.

 

:iagree:

 

If I was upset enough I would also find a law that fits this - like malicious vandalism - and explain what can happen if he does this to someone outside of the family - fines, jail terms, etc. What he did is a big deal and I would make a big deal out of it in a matter of fact way using real consequences that have big impact.

 

This makes me remember a story about my Dad calling our local sheriff to come down because my brother and my sisters starting throwing cotton bolls at each other in our neighbor's field. They were just having fun, but they were wasting precious crops and disrespecting property. The property owner was satisfied with my Dad handling it, but my Dad decided to give them a good scare, so the Sheriff came out to the house and talked to them about what they had done and told them if it happened again they would be arrested. They didn't repeat the behavior!!!! :lol:

[emzhengjiu]

About the PSP, check with the manufacturer's (Sony??) repair policy. They may offer to repair it at a nominal charge. Don't turn it back on until you are sure it's completely dry. I dropped an expensive cell phone into my glass of iced tea (strange story). I let it dry for a long time, several days. It worked fine afterwards. Otherwise, I think working off the price of the PSP or repair is a good consequence for this type of deliberate act. I actually would be more understanding if your 6 yo lost control and damaged the PSP in anger. It's not right but to me more understandable at that age.

[hornblower]

Well, I'll be the odd one out & say I'd do nothing but talk. Talk. Talk. Some of it initially would probably be in a pretty loud high pitched voice :D WHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT??????

 

I'd take 6yo out on his own and have a long talk about feelings and anger and how overwhelming they can be.

 

I'd take 12 yo out on his own & have a long talk about how people can hurt us & what we can do about it & how we respond.

 

Remember in Little Women when Amy burns Jo's manuscript? What did Marmee do?

 

I think too many people rely on these 'natural consequences' which all tend to have to do with 'stuff' when what should be guiding the kids is their seeking of our approval. I'm phrasing this wrong ..... wooly head this morning - but I'm trying to get at the fact that parents being displeased or disappointed in our actions should be a really big deal. In fact, should be enough to change behaviour.

 

When dear ones point out an error in our behaviour, it should encourage us to change & change fast.

 

I was thinking also of Emma & the 'badly done' scene

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CP9y1Uv-plY&feature=related

It's just at the beginning here.

 

(btw, Kate Beckinsale & Mark Strong are my favourite Emma & Mr. Knightly.....:D)

 

 

I do hope the toy is not broken.

[Jilly]

If that happened at our house, I'd probably have to prevent the 12 yr old from dunking the 6 yr old into the toilet for revenge. :001_rolleyes:

 

:iagree:

[RoughCollie]

I think you are handling this very wisely.

 

So I explained consequences to the 6yo and he's upset, but handling it. A while later I told the 12yo that the 6yo would be doing his chores for a week, was banished from computer and DS until the PSP is up and working, possibly longer, and would have to write an apology. The 12yo said that he agreed with the other consequences, but thought the written apology was way over the top and told 6yo that he didn't have to do that. LOL Can you tell how much the 12yo hates writing? Fortunately, the 6yo had already written the note.

 

And something I completely forgot about, the 6yo still has the £60 from grandma. So if the PSP needs to be replaced, his money will go towards it and he can work the rest off.

[mazakaal]

About the PSP, check with the manufacturer's (Sony??) repair policy. They may offer to repair it at a nominal charge.

 

Unfortunately, we bought it used, so I don't think there's any warranty in effect.

 

I'm hoping that it will dry and be okay, though. Especially since it was just a quick dunk and we immediately dried it. Definitely won't turn it on for a few days, though. Thanks.

[mazakaal]

Remember in Little Women when Amy burns Jo's manuscript?

 

This is exactly the scene I thought of when this happened.

 

And, while I agree that a parent's displeasure should illicit a serious response from a child, I still believe that there should be a consequence for such deliberate behaviour. I appreciate your thoughts, though.

[carolinagirl]

There probably isn't a warranty in effect but often a repair charge is 1/2 of what replacing one costs.

 

I think you've handled it just fine. 6 yrs old is old enough to know better but still young enough that impulse control isn't quite where it needs to be to prevent stupid choices like this. He's getting enough consequences to make him think twice next time he loses his temper.

[Remudamom]

Take his grandma money. He can work off the rest.

[mazakaal]

There probably isn't a warranty in effect but often a repair charge is 1/2 of what replacing one costs.

 

Oh, right. I'll contact Sony if we can't get it working again. I wonder if they have a UK headquarters or something. Hmmm.

[Lolly]

There probably isn't a warranty in effect but often a repair charge is 1/2 of what replacing one costs.

 

 

 

And, if they cannot repair it, they will often just replace it for that charge. It is worth the free call to find out!

[mazakaal]

Yippee! I finally found a UK phone numbe for Sony, and the technician said that if we can't get it working again we can send it in and they will replace it for £65. Hopefully it will start up again, but if not the 6yo can pay for the new one with his grandma money. Perfect.

 

Thanks everyone for all your advice!

[Pink Fairy]

Definitely wait a good, long while before trying to turn it on--like a month. Once the water has evaporated out of the internal areas, it will probably work fine. But if you try turning it on too early, the the combo of power and water may fry it. When I wasn't paying attention, my toddler dropped my external hard drive into a sink full of hot soapy water and dirty dishes, so I've done a lot of research in this area, lol. Btw, my ehd did eventually work, and it was in the bottom of the sink for a lot longer than a second!

[carolinagirl]

Yippee! I finally found a UK phone numbe for Sony, and the technician said that if we can't get it working again we can send it in and they will replace it for £65. Hopefully it will start up again, but if not the 6yo can pay for the new one with his grandma money. Perfect.

 

Thanks everyone for all your advice!

 

That's great! :) And yes, I knew about this from far too many experiences. :lol: