Do you like to be called Mr/Mrs Lastname?

[Pretty in Pink]

I prefer to be addressed as Mrs. ____ by children, not by other adults. It usually takes me a minute to realize that they are talking to me!

[Guest Katia]

Ellie answered exactly as I would have, so I don't need to write it all out.

 

(Oh, and woe be unto any of my children who casually call any adult by their first name only without explicit permission!)

 

Yes. I totally agree with Ellie as well. It's all about respect and I can choose to offer my first name when I am good and ready to do so. I am Mrs Lastname unless I say, "call me Kat".

 

I also taught my dc to use the Mr/Mrs Lastname when addressing adults. If an adult said they would prefer to be called by their first name, my dc were instructed to add the Mr or Miss/Mrs title before their first name. If I tell a child, "call me Kat" they will usually call me Miss Kat. Much more friendly than Mrs Lastname, but still respectful.

[Hannah C.]

I grew up being instructed by my parents to call adults Mr./Mrs./Ms. Lastname. There were some dearly beloved exceptions to this rule, "adopted grandmas" who were Firstname. As I got older, I just called adults by the name with which they introduced themselves to me. However, as a 21yo now I find it a bit odd being expected to call older adults by their first names. I know I'm a grownup now and I get to do that, especially since the adults introduce themselves only with their first names..but it still feels weird! :)

 

I was first Miss Lastname when I babysat a very little girl who shares my first name. Then I got married and I became Mrs. Lastname to this same little girl. I'm young..but I am excited about being Mrs. Lastname. :) In my area teachers are always Mr./Mrs./Ms. Lastname, and I was excited about doing student teaching as a Mrs. I don't mind being thought older than I am. I actually look younger than I am, too...

 

For service people I only see once, I expect to be called ma'am or Mrs. Lastname. I'm a bit shocked by the people who get called Firstname by store clerks. As a courtesy clerk/checker in TX, I had to call customers Mr/Mrs/Ms LASTNAME. We never, ever used first names!!

 

At the library I grew up in, I called all the adults by their first names. That's also how they introduced themselves. I would not mind being called Firstname by service people I see often, such as library workers.

 

I'm curious whether these patterns have any relation to geography. For example, I know where I am in TX, people are routinely called sir or ma'am regardless of age (miss is never used except by certain people who are very Southern/country). Some people I've met find that almost offensive, but it's just the way it's done -- it's polite here. I don't know how it is in other parts of the US or outside the US however.

[Guest caramelcream]

Yes, I would like to be addressed as Mrs. Lastname by children, unless they are the kids of very close friends, who then call me auntie. I have my children address adults as Mrs.____ and Mr.____, or auntie and uncle, respectively.

I think there is a difference in the level of respect shown to adults when titles are used by children, and I would prefer it if adults addressed one another this way, as well. I do not think of it so much as formal as I do respectful, and it would be lovely to see more respect shown by everyone for everyone else.

I think then, when one did call someone by his or her first name, the intimacy of the relationship would be emphasized, and the value of the Christian name raised. At one time, a man calling a woman by her Christian name was of thrilling significance and marked a serious step in their relationship...I wish it was still that way.

[MamaBearTeacher]

I prefer just my first name. It's what I'm used to. "Mrs." feels weird from anyone other than someone selling me something. I have to say that I usually associate with people over 70 nowadays.

[Slartibartfast]

I prefer just my first name. It's what I'm used to. "Mrs." feels weird from anyone other than someone selling me something. I have to say that I usually associate with people over 70 nowadays.

 

I agree.

 

I do teach my children to say "Sir" and "Ma'am" and I have always said those. I also call children "Sir" and "Ma'am" :lol:

 

I don't expect children I know to call me Mrs Last Name.

Edited June 18, 2010 by Sis

[EmilyK]

No.

 

I am not Mrs. anything.

 

I am Ms.

One of the high end grocery stores here has trained all their clerks to use your name to say "thank you, have a nice day, do you need help to your car?" if you pay by credit card. They do say Ms. btw :)

 

To children, nieces, nephews etc, I'm just first name.

 

 

Same for me. Since I don't use my husband's last name, it wouldn't make sense. And I prefer using my first name.

 

I grew up in a formal place and am happy doing formal for those who like it (I dress up and use china and silver with the best of them) -- but no one I know here has kids or others call them Mrs. X.

[AnitaMcC]

1) By children?

2) By service people (the mail carrier, the doctor office staff, the car sales person, technicians who respond to provide service at your house)?

3) What about service people whom you see regularly, such as the library staff?

 

Anyone else? Either agree with me, or help me understand why you are comfortable with the title.

 

From children I expect them to go by Mr/Mrs/Ms "last name" to all adults until the adult tells them to go by first name. I tell my kids no adult will be addressed without a title. They may call adults Mr/Mrs "first name" if the adult tells them they can use the first name.

 

Addressing Aunts/Uncles they are to use titles... even from adult addressing to another adult. I still call my aunts/uncles by Aunt "first name", Uncle "first name". The only exception to this is my oldest nephew who is only 13 yrs younger than me... When he was born I was so totally uncomfortable to be addressed as an aunt that I refused to allow it. So that is how he grew up... addressing me by my first name. But even his siblings address me by Aunt/Aunty Anita.

 

Me talking with other adults (service people, teachers, new acquaintances)... I expect we use title "last name" towards each other, until given permission to use first names. And for some adults... I would never feel comfortable being on a first name basis. I would still use title "first or last name".

[AHASRADA]

I haven't read all the posts, but prefer, and have always preferred, to be called Mrs. (or Miss, before I was married) and my last name, by anyone I don't know personally. I am flabbergasted by people who insist "Mrs." or "Ma'am" makes them feel old. No, it is simply a title of respect and formality, two things that are severely lacking in our society, imo. I am actually irked when I go through the checkout, especially with children along, and the cashier calls me "Miss". Hello, do I look like a Miss? I know this is in response to ladies being insulted at being called Ma'am. Please. Unless you are under 18 and therefore too young to be married, there is nothing insulting about being called Ma'am.

 

So, yes, I would prefer those in all 3 categories to address me as Mrs. lastname. In practicality, my kids' friends end up calling me by my first name, because that is what their moms insist on for themselves (telling my kids, oh, call me Nancy), and I'm not such a prude as to make a fuss about it. In my ideal world, though, all kids would use Mrs. with their friends' moms. My nieces, nephews and children of family friends call me Auntie.

[elizabeth]

Absolutely and if I hear otherwise I am quick to gently correct the error. When I am in my house dealing with repairpersons or a judge it makes no difference I must never fail to use their proper address and never permit others to assume familiarity by failing to address me as Mrs. When asked my name I state Mrs.M.....unfailingly. Nor do I ever , ever use a clients first name until they expressly ask me to do so. Rank and file around here.

[Wheres Toto]

I'm curious whether these patterns have any relation to geography. For example, I know where I am in TX, people are routinely called sir or ma'am regardless of age (miss is never used except by certain people who are very Southern/country). Some people I've met find that almost offensive, but it's just the way it's done -- it's polite here. I don't know how it is in other parts of the US or outside the US however.

 

I definitely think the region of the country has some bearing. It seems you are much more likely to see the formality of last names and Sir/Ma'am in southern states. I don't think I've ever heard anyone respectfully referred to as Ma'am IRL. It always seems to be done sarcastically.

 

My oldest has a few teachers that prefer to be called by their first names, especially that she's now in high school. Around here, most preschool or kindergarten teachers are called Miss first name, even when their married since the difference between Miss and Mrs is often lost on a 3 year old.

 

I find the references to preference based on how hard a name is to pronounce interesting as well. I never made the connection but my maiden name and first married name were both ones that were frequently mispronounced so maybe this has some bearing on my preference (for first name). My mother also had a different last name than me most of my childhood and I frequently saw her called by the wrong last name. Oldest dd has a counselor whose name is Mr. Wolfensperger - he goes by Mr. Wolf.

[Haiku]

No, not by anyone. I don't think of myself as Mrs. LastName. I think of myself as MyFirstName. That's what I like to be called. Except by the kids. They call me Mom, which I like.

 

Tara

[katilac]

I definitely think the region of the country has some bearing. It seems you are much more likely to see the formality of last names and Sir/Ma'am in southern states. I don't think I've ever heard anyone respectfully referred to as Ma'am IRL. It always seems to be done sarcastically.

 

I'm in the deep (deep, deep!) south, and Miss FirstName is overwhelmingly prevalent, and has been since I was a child. It's "Miss" for both married and single females, and "Mr. FirstName" for males (more accurately, mist-ah). It's pretty much universal for children to address adults this way, and fairly common for "friendly-but-not-friends" adults to address each other this way (so I'm Miss Kat to the librarian, and he's Mr. Al to me).

 

Adults rarely adress each other by Mr./Mrs. LastName, and it's almost unheard of for kids to address adults by FirstName.

 

We do have a good bit of yes m'aam, no sir going on as well (non-sarcastic, lol), although it's not as universal as it was when I was coming up. So there's lots of "yes m'aam, Miss Kat" going on.

 

That's pretty much the way I like it; Mrs. LastName doesn't really work, as I don't have dh's name. Ms. MyOwnLastName works, but is rarely used. I'd fall over if one of my kids friends called me Kat . . . it's not that I feel it lacks respect, necessarily, but rather that it's just Not Done.

[SonshineLearner]

Children by my last name.... and legally... no it's not mine... it's my husband's name. (but... well.. it works)

By service people... they would call me by my last name... but with Mrs... (Again, not totally right... but it works, too) *Cuz it's on my cards... and the see a ring?? :) For those who I see all the time, I've said.... I just think you're the sweetest.... but you may call me Carrie:)

I teach my children to say "Yes Ma'am and Yes Sir" I think it sounds respectful; I like it better than "yeh" :) I also tell them that "Yes Ma'am" without doing what I said... doesn't count :)

When I call for my son... I say "Please come here" and he answers "Yes Ma'am, coming" it works with his personality and it just melts your heart... Well.. he melts my heart... period!!

 

:)

[May]

I asked to be called by my last name when dealing with kids under 18 and don't mind if those over this age address me by my first name. I tell my oldest dd (age 21) she should ask what to call older adults. I feel it shows a measure of respect.

[Britomart]

Unless the person addressing me is a friend, I'm never offended by being called Mrs. MyLastName. I find it charming. But unless the person addressing me is a complete stranger or under 18, I'm not offended by being addressed by my first name. (And I don't get huffy-offended in that case; I just say, "I prefer to be called . . ." if I care about it enough to even do that.)

 

I admit that I don't like it when salespeople who don't know me call me by my first name, but if they're following company orders then it's not their fault, so I don't get upset with them. They have to do what they're told, and some businesses seem to think I'll feel like buying more if they assume a false familiarity. :tongue_smilie:

 

Around here, kids usually call their friends' moms "Mrs. FirstName" and that's fine with me. It's a nice mix of formal and familiar.

 

I go by the rule of thumb that it's polite to address people as they wish to be addressed, and so I also assume that if people address me in a way I don't like, they're not doing it to be offensive; they're probably just using the form of address that's their own personal preference. No harm, no foul.

 

Though my librarians better not call me "Mrs. LastName" because I used to work there and they all know me really well! :)

[Rosie_0801]

Pretty much everyone around here goes by first names and it would be uncomfortable to dig for surnames in order to use them. Heck, in a lot of cases I don't even learn someone's surname until they friend me on Facebook! I'm completely fine with that unless I'm talking to my grandmother's friends. I feel very weird being on first name basis with 90 year olds. The only place I'm called anything other than Rosie (I'm not Mrs anyone and my surname is weird so I'd rather not be Miss anyone either) was when I was a guide leader, then I went by my Guide name, and at the SCA where people are often called M'lord or M'Lady (or Your Excellency or something else anachronistic :lol:)

 

Rosie

[stripe]

I prefer my name. One thing I don't like is when people who are not my children call me mom, as the new dental hygenist at our practice did the other day. I find that incredibily annoying, Mrs. would be far better than that.

Some of the nurses at my kids' doctors office do that. I find it very irritating too. I'd rather they call me by my name (why can't they just ask, or look at that big fat file they're carrying around?), Mrs. --, or call me X's mother, but I am not their mother, so I find it ... weird and unsettling.

 

I have never had another child call me "mom," but I think I might find it touching. ;)

Edited June 19, 2010 by stripe

[Dawn in OH]

Some of the nurses at my kids' doctors office do that. I find it very irritating too. I'd rather they call me by my name (why can't they just ask, or look at that big fat file they're carrying around?), Mrs. --, or call me X's mother, but I am not their mother, so I find it ... weird and unsettling.

 

 

 

The nurse at our old doctor's office used to do that. She also talked like I wasn't actually there: "How is Mom doing?" "Does Mom work outside the home?" I couldn't stand that. She wasn't all that good with kids either.

[missiemick]

I'm used to it -- I was a public school teacher for 13 years before I started homeschooling. It bothered me when I was young but now I just see the respect in it.

[Aubrey]

Sure! I have a great last name, & formality from a service person is *much* better than the icky feeling of using my first name.

 

Library? Eh. If they said *anything* it would be a step up.

 

Kids? Again, either way. I used to teach, & you knew I was cool when you saw my name. :D

 

Now...when I was a kid, there was this school attendance lady who'd call me "MISS ---" & for a long time, I associated my last name & formality w/ HER. Between her & the problems at home (dad), I hated my last name.

 

But now? Wow. Nobody has a cooler first or last name, so if you're a friend, call me whatever you want! :001_smile:

[Aubrey]

I'm used to it -- I was a public school teacher for 13 years before I started homeschooling. It bothered me when I was young but now I just see the respect in it.

 

That's funny--come to think of it, the kids just called me, "Hey, Miss!" until one day I responded w/, "Yeah, Kid?" :lol:

 

He was *stunned.* I can't believe it was such a big deal, but I said, "You know...I have a name, too." And forever after, they all called me Miss ---. (Because "miss" is faster to say than "missus.") :001_huh:

[Starr]

When I was a private school nurse I was called "Nurse Starr" even though the rest of the adults were Mr./ Ms./Ms. I loved that. :lol: Our children and their friends use Mr./Mrs./Ms.

[JoyfulMama]

That's funny--come to think of it, the kids just called me, "Hey, Miss!" until one day I responded w/, "Yeah, Kid?" :lol:

 

He was *stunned.* I can't believe it was such a big deal, but I said, "You know...I have a name, too." And forever after, they all called me Miss ---. (Because "miss" is faster to say than "missus.") :001_huh:

:lol: