What do you do when you don't know what to do?

[TXMomof4]

This is really long - please bear with me. No one IRL seems to understand why I"m having such a hard time.

 

I am really wresting with educational plans for my kids next year. I'll have 5th, 4th, 2nd, and pre-k next year. Up through this year I have been passionate about hsing the kids. I do *say* that we'll take it year by year, but have really felt that we'd continue at least to highschool.

 

I can NOT get excited about next year. All I can think is that if I put them in school I wouldn't have to worry. Of course I know I'd worry, but I wouldn't be solely responsible for their education.

 

Now, I know everyone is going to ask, "Are your reasons for hsing still true?" The answer is yes, even more now than they were a year ago.

 

1. We're military. I want the kids to have continuity in their education and I hate the idea of moving them around from school to school their whole lives.

 

2. Convenience - I have always had the freedom to plan my own schedule, take breaks as needed, we've had freedom to travel a LOT that we wouldn't have had if they'd been in school.

 

3. Social reasons - I know my kids. I know which ones are followers, which ones seem to be lacking in confidence, which ones are a little quirky - and I know how to deal with that. And if I don't know how to deal, at least I'm aware of their different personalities and can work with them. Unless they had truly awesome teachers I can easily see that they'd lose their confidence and freedom to be themselves.

 

4. Quality of education - I know I won't provide the perfect education (some days may not even be good) but when I look at what the kids their age are doing in ps I'm more than a little troubled. Right now my kids are reading Shakespeare and The Iliad for fun because they became interested from our studies. I just don't see that type of education happening in ps.

 

So - what's the dilemma?

 

I'm tired of teaching them. They really are good kids, but I'm tired of it all being a battle to get things done. I don't have the desire to plan for the next year for 3 kids. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I'm so tired of this right now. Usually I sink in Feb and get excited in April. This year, all I can think is "No, not again."

 

The options are - 1. Suck it up and keep going. Of course, I have no plans in place for next year and especially with the 5th grader I really am a little lost. We've outgrown my comfort books of FLL, SOTW, etc. and it's going to take a lot of research to figure out what to do.

 

Option 2 - There is a K12 virtual academy here. I like K12 from what I've seen, but I hate the idea of being answerable to the PS. I'm not sure in reality what kind of flexibility we'll retain. HOwever, it is a curriculum that doesn't make me want to cry and I'll still have the kids at home.

 

Option 3 - Send the kids to school. This one affects me in so many different ways. On one hand I'm jumping with joy at the idea of the freedom I'd have to be the 'fun' mom. On the other hand, I want to cry at the thought of sending my babies to school. The schools here are mediocre as far as test results. I know they are a little over-crowded but there doesn't seem to be a problem with drugs/sex/etc. in the elementary schools.

 

I need some words of wisdom here people! I'm losing it!

[Ellie]

I know how you feel.:grouphug:

 

And really, I think much of it has to do with the time of year (and the heat. The heat is brutal already. Oy.).

 

Why don't you just relax a bit and not worry about it? Take some field trips. Read some good books together as a family. Let the kids goof off. You don't have to make decisions right this minute.

[LibraryLover]

Can you outsource anything? We outsourced Chemistry this semester for our 17 yr old and it was a weight off of us. I know some people would say, "Oh, chemistry is no big deal! Just do it!" Given that my dh is an actual chemist, you would have thought so, but no. It was a relief to let that go, she is getting an A, and I had to do zero fretting. It was a great experience for her, too.

 

I don't think most of us can do everything on our own. If we have partners, parents, friends etc who can help, great. A lot of people don't, and I think it can be emotionally taxing.

 

I don't know what your outsourcing possibilites are, but maybe it would give you some peace if you could find some outside assistance.

Edited May 24, 2010 by LibraryLover

[StartingOver]

Well, in the state of Texas you can put them in, and pull them out later if you feel the need.

 

But I would just take some time off.... really. With my olders we took a total of 2 years off, not all at the same time, mine still graduated early. A whole year when my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Months for travel, we traveled for 2 years all over the West and Central states starting in Alaska and ending in Texas. More time when my step dad had heart surgery and eye surgery. It didn't harm my children at all. Sometimes we just need a break, or life gets in the way. They will not be ruined if you need to recharge.

 

I homeschool through the summer when the heat is bad, and take more time to play in the Spring, Fall and Winter !

[Chris in VA]

I agree with LibraryLover--and with Ellie--

I honestly think it's the time of year. How much of a break can you give yourself? Homeschooling can become a little like multi-level marketing--you are always on the lookout for a new curriculum/learning experience--it's hard to turn off--you always look to the next thing and never feel DONE.

 

I'd recommend you just not do any planning what. so. ever. right now. Finish what you need to for the year, and take a true break.

 

Remember you have more than the 3 options you listed--

 

You can:

 

Send just one or two to school--oldest, youngest, in-between

 

Outsource some of one child's school, or two children's or more

 

Join a co-op like Classical Conversations

 

Buy something like TT or something else that is independent for one or more subjects

 

Buy a pre-packaged curriculum, or part of one

 

There are tons of options, not just a few--and you DO NOT NEED to choose RIGHT NOW.

 

Come to your decision making time refreshed, and do whatever you need to to get that refreshment.

:grouphug:

[Guest]

Your post doesn't say what materials you are using to teach your kids, but there is a further option, which is to cut way back on formal, paper-based curricula (which is what many kids protest and which is part of what makes you so tired because you're fighting to get them to do it), and find materials that allow school itself to be "fun" -- and thus let you be a "fun mom" during the school day (what a concept!).

 

If you decide to continue at home, make at least some of your curriculum games-based. Some people on the boards have game day once a week, while others incorporate games into their everyday schedule. There are math games, logic games, spelling games, history games, strategy games... you can help your kids acquire and/or lock in an amazing amount of knowledge through this type of play. Besides board games and the kinds of logic games you can find in bookstores, Peggy Kaye has books that are usually in your local library: Games For Learning, Games For Reading, Games For Writing, and Games For Math. You can adjust their difficulty level up and down for various ages. Carmen Sandiego computer games are oldies but goodies if you can get them to work on your system.

 

Your kids are all young still. If they're reading great books and talking about them with you and one another, playing some good learning games for learning and practicing skills like math, spelling, and the like, doing some easy experiments or messing around with science materials, they're doing enough while you recoup and get your enthusiasm and energy back.

 

THEY WILL NOT FALL "BEHIND." Groundwork for higher level work can be laid down in many different ways, and workbook or textbook-based curriculum is only one of those ways. Note that I am not talking about throwing all work out the window. I'm just suggesting that you allow yourself some recuperative space by easing up on the formal, written work and the feeling that you need to get through a certain number of pages in a curriculum. Your kids will still learn plenty. You can give yourself permission to have fun with them that is still giving them skills of great value. Take walks, go on field trips, cook or bake things, get out some art supplies and let them respond to books they're reading through art, let them play around with writing notes in invisible ink or code, read math picture books (or The Phantom Tollbooth for your oldest ones), and keep an eye on what happens in a couple of months.

 

You have a huge job, what with a big family, lots of moving and all the upheaval that comes with that, homeschooling... it's enormously stressful. Burn-out is no fun. But a recovery period can be both healing and educational. My daughter went to private school last fall for three months before she developed mono, got exhausted, and decided that she'd rather go back to homeschooling. For the next four months or so she did nothing even vaguely resembling school. She just read like a house afire, books she loved rather than books that were required. These consisted at first ENTIRELY of Star Trek books and later of Terry Pratchett's fantasy novels. To my astonishment, she's learned about things from the Schroedinger's Cat paradox to forms of government to medieval alchemy to atomic theory from these books which she has read strictly for pleasure. We have picked back up on some other things now (algebra and physics from textbooks, current events), but the amount of learning that went on in those "off" months was phenomenal.

 

Best wishes to you and hopes that you can relax a bit and make a decision that's best for you and your family when you feel a bit better.

[Kim in Appalachia]

:grouphug:

 

I have been there, and in fact, I still am to a degree. I think it's a combination of having so many kids to school at once, plus you said your oldest is in 5th, that means the work is getting more detailed and a bit harder.

 

What I did was give myself an easy year. This year my kids used Rod and Staff for everything. My oldest used BJ with the DVD's. I still had to teach, but it took less time and there was less stress. Even the kids liked it better. Next year I'm planning on adding some more things back. Logic for my up coming 7th grader, study guides instead of R+S reading for my 6th. But, my 7th grader is taking 2 classes online. My soon to be 11th grader is taking classes at the local college. My 3rd grader will still do R+S. My K child will get SWR and R+S math, plus lots of read a louds.

 

But this year has helped. I needed the break from thinking about harder subjects, making sure they got it all in, and trying to teach it all.

 

Take a look at what you are using and see if you can streamline or sub in something less teacher intensive. The DVD's were a life saver and I'm planning on using them for son when he reaches 7th. I know I can not do it all, and I was burning out trying to.

 

Do whatever it takes to keep yourself sane. :grouphug:

[LibraryLover]

I just processed that your yourgest are so young. I would not be focusing too much curric, if any, their way. Nothing will happen but growth no matter what you do or do not do. :) I would also try to fold the 4th & 5th graders together as much as you can, and focus the most on reading to them; history, literature etc. Can you partner take a subject? Math, or LA, which you do a couple of early eveings a week, and maybe once on the weekend?

 

School House Rock, Mrs Frizzle, audio books, Nova and Netflix are your friends, remember. ;)

[Tabrett]

I think you have more options than k12! I have heard that k12 is very teacher intense, especially if you have more than one dc.

 

You could always do one year of SOS or some video based academy (BJU or A Beka). Doing something like that would free you up, at least with the older students. Something with work texts like CLE is designed to self teach.

 

Doing a year of something less teacher intensive would not hurt your dc. It would give you some sort of break. You may not like the curriculum, but it might work for a year.

[Mejane]

Just want to say I feel for you. After seven years, I'm pretty much done. Graduating my 17yo, and putting 14yo in Keystone. I'll oversee, but that's it. Good luck with your decision.

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

It sounds like you need a break.

Do something fun.

OR

Do nothing at all.

Do NOT think about school.

I'll bet within a month you will be ready to think about next year again.

I do understand!

:grouphug:

[ciyates]

:grouphug: I agree with all the advice you have received. It is hard being a military spouse and a HS mom. Been there done that. Take a break! Even if your kids get behind (I don't think they will) you can still get them caught up! Enjoy the summer and your kids and worry about school later. :grouphug:

[Impish]

What do I do, when I don't know what to do? I pray.

[TXMomof4]

What do I do, when I don't know what to do? I pray.

 

I'm getting the feeling this is one of those areas where God isn't going to give me a clear GO THIS WAY!

 

This year has been such a mess with dh coming home, moving, settling in to a new place - argh! I had planned to school through the summer to catch up, but good heavens I'm tired!

 

The kids are signed up to take the placement tests for K12. My biggest issue with going that direction is we have streamlined most everything but grammar and math. History, science, spelling, vocab, writing, etc. has all been done together for my older two since the beginning. The K12 people said they place according to scores, not stictly according to grade level. It is entirely possible that dd2 will test at the same level as dd1 in everything but math.

 

My youngest dd has been difficult (to put it mildly) and I don't know if she'll test into second grade or not. I don't particularly care but she will be heartbroken.

 

I am going to have them do the placement to keep my options open. We can always change our minds later.

 

We bought SOS history & geography for the kids to play with to get the feel for an online curriculum. The girls HATE it. They are so used to history being a 'story' that they can't get a handle on the random sequence that this goes in. Nothing is tied to anything else - one week was San Francisco, next Syndey, Australia, maps, explorers - there's no logic to it.

 

I think y'all are right. I'll just stop for a while (except reading for youngest dd) and try to get to liking my kids again. Maybe motivation will come kick me in the rear sometime soon.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

..

[Desert Rat]

Sounds like you need a nice long break and a :grouphug:. By any chance, are you around your seventh year of homeschooling? That 7th year is a killer for many folks. Just. Plain. Tired.

 

I suggest you pack up the books, turn off the computer (yes even these boards), and don't even THINK about school for a while. Reevaluate your options is a few weeks and see where things lie.

 

It sounds like you're burned out and taking a break will let you be the fun mom for awhile again.

 

I've got a 5th grader in the fall. I understand the extra work involved in this next phase. I will be using SOTW for his little brother and plan on involving my 5th grader and expecting more reading and writing from him, if that helps you at all.

 

Anyway, hang in there. We all hit rough spots. Take a break and re-evaluate in a few weeks.

[Teachin'Mine]

Option 4: Sign them up for an online/correspondence home school program that isn't connected with the public school. They're not free, but some of them are fairly low cost. It will still require you to teach them, but it takes the burden off of you on having them meet the requirements. It will be you working WITH them to get the work in that the school requires. It may make a huge difference in how you and your children look at it. It ends a lot of the battles since you haven't made the requirements and you're following someone else's lesson plan. In our case, grades counted more too when they were for someone other than me.

[Sahamamama]

I have always had the freedom to plan my own schedule, take breaks as needed...

 

Option 4 -- Take half a year off. Let them read. Use your freedom to your family's advantage. Plan your own schedule and take a long break to recharge your batteries.

[Sahamamama]

.

Edited May 25, 2010 by Sahamamama
oops. wrong thread.

[Starr]

I think most of us have felt what you're feeling. I just think of the homework, the backpacks ready to go, lunch, fundraising, helping out at school, not having the kids during their best hours of the day, and all the things I know I won't like about school. My vote would be to hang in with the home schooling unless you really feel ps is the better choice.

[Susan in TX]

All I can think is that if I put them in school I wouldn't have to worry. Of course I know I'd worry, but I wouldn't be solely responsible for their education.

 

I can sooo relate to how you are feeling right now. This is the thing that is hardest for me about homeschooling...the weight of responsibility, the feeling that it is all up to me, and that I'm doing this all alone. Not good.

 

I was feeling a lot like you are and I did put mine in school. For me it was a pretty good situation except for having to deal with the homework every afternoon. We seriously spent as much time on homework, (esp. for my 1st grader) as I had spent homeschooling them, but now I was dealing with making sure they got their homework done at the end of the day when they were tired and just wanted to go play. Not fun!

 

Even though putting them in school gave me a nice break, it wasn't the best thing for my kids and we went back to homeschooling after Christmas break. Homeschooling went really well for a few months but now I feel as though I've hit a wall and I'm not sure what to do either.

 

Susan in TX