What would you think is wrong with this child?

[Cricket]

A pre-teen boy who constantly "forgets": forgets his baseball bag with all his equipment at the practice field, repeatedly forgets to fill the lawn mower with gas before he walks it all the way to the other side of the property, forgets new things he has learned in martial arts - forgets so often that his instructor no longer wants to teach him, forgets how to spell a word he only moments before (under different circumstances) spelled correctly, has a hard time following oral instructions because he forgets what they were.

 

What would your first inclination be?

[AK_Mom4]

At my house, the pre-teen boy would probably be preparing for a massive growth spurt and needs about 4 hours more sleep at night than he is getting.

 

If every thing else is "normal" and this is a new thing, I would suspect sleep deprivation.

[asta]

At my house, the pre-teen boy would probably be preparing for a massive growth spurt and needs about 4 hours more sleep at night than he is getting.

 

If every thing else is "normal" and this is a new thing, I would suspect sleep deprivation.

 

Yep.

[Pippen]

My first inclination would be to ask if this is a new behavior, or one that was there all along but only seems worse now due to increased freedoms/responsibilities/time spent away from mom or another adult caretaker.

[Leanna Tomlinson]

At my house, the pre-teen boy would probably be preparing for a massive growth spurt and needs about 4 hours more sleep at night than he is getting.

 

If every thing else is "normal" and this is a new thing, I would suspect sleep deprivation.

 

:iagree: Two summers ago, my ds grew 6 inches. He drove me crazy with his forgetfulness. When I finally started letting him get 10 (yes 10) hours of sleep things got a little better.

 

BTW- now that he's topped out at 6'5", he's finally becoming more responsible.:)

 

Leanna

[amy g.]

I agree that it's a growth spurt.

[Dobela]

If nothing else has changed, then I also agree a growth spurt - that or his brain hasn't caught up from the last one. A teen brain is just not well connected, literally, and it takes some times for the brain to get enough synapses and catch up with the body.

 

Now, if other things have changed I would be concerned about depression, drug use, or head injury.

[LizzyBee]

If it's not new behavior, I'd suspect auditory processing disorder or auditory memory deficit, along with some organizational difficulties. My 13 yo dd is like this, but she's always been this way and she is diagnosed with APD, slow processing speed, and difficulty with one type of logical thinking (I can never remember whether it's inductive or deductive).

[2cents]

I remember my son going through these addled phases. More sleep and maybe even some diet changes (they start eating more) will help. Those are the years that a lot of physical and emotional changes are taking place.

[KRG]

I would say it sounds a lot like my 12 year old ;)

[Heather in AL]

:iagree: Two summers ago, my ds grew 6 inches. He drove me crazy with his forgetfulness. When I finally started letting him get 10 (yes 10) hours of sleep things got a little better.

 

BTW- now that he's topped out at 6'5", he's finally becoming more responsible.:)

 

Leanna

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree: I agree with everyone's "agrees". :lol:

 

Forgetfulness was something we had to learn to deal with in my soon-to-be-15y/o ds. It was horrid. It seemed to be really bad for several months, then got better. I know he isn't finished growing, but we could swear that one night, after having slept for 12 hours (not a typo!) that he had grown over an inch from the night before. He was suddenly taller than dh.

 

The awful amnesia-like forgetfulness is gone, but he's so s.l.o.w. Anyone have a remedy for that? Dh, 13y/odd, and I can all be sitting in the van, having backed into the driveway, and we will be waiting for ds to brush his hair and put on his shoes. Then he runs to the van holding his shoes. :confused::confused:

 

It's an interesting phase; one that has tested, and continues to test, our patience!

[Cricket]

My first inclination would be to ask if this is a new behavior, or one that was there all along but only seems worse now due to increased freedoms/responsibilities/time spent away from mom or another adult caretaker.

 

I keep wondering about this myself. Dh is convinced something has been "off" for a long time and it now seems worse.

 

The sleep deprivation could be it too. A couple of afternoons ago he went into his room and fell asleep for 2 hours. Baseball practice is several times a week from 8 to 10 p.m. which means he doesn't get to bed until almost 11. Then he's usually up by 7. I think I'll start making him take a nap every day and see if that helps.

[justamouse]

At my house, the pre-teen boy would probably be preparing for a massive growth spurt and needs about 4 hours more sleep at night than he is getting.

 

If every thing else is "normal" and this is a new thing, I would suspect sleep deprivation.

 

Bingo.

 

Or menopause. :D

[edithcrawley]

 

The awful amnesia-like forgetfulness is gone, but he's so s.l.o.w. Anyone have a remedy for that? Dh, 13y/odd, and I can all be sitting in the van, having backed into the driveway, and we will be waiting for ds to brush his hair and put on his shoes. Then he runs to the van holding his shoes. :confused::confused:

 

It's an interesting phase; one that has tested, and continues to test, our patience!

 

 

Leave him behind once (make sure you are going to something he really likes and would miss a lot). That will cause him to not be late anymore.

 

Or you could just pretend to leave him behind. Leave the driveway and go around the corner or something where you can see him but he can't see you. After he has come out of the house and looked around, you could go get him and tell him you will leave him behind if he continues this behavior.

[dangermom]

The sleep deprivation could be it too. A couple of afternoons ago he went into his room and fell asleep for 2 hours. Baseball practice is several times a week from 8 to 10 p.m. which means he doesn't get to bed until almost 11. Then he's usually up by 7. I think I'll start making him take a nap every day and see if that helps.

Bingo. Make him sleep a lot more and see what happens.

[KristenS]

At least sleep deprivation is easy to test. :) And then keep an eye, and see if something more needs checking.

 

Sometimes personality tendencies are there in childhood, and get worse during stress (or growth spurts, I guess), and it's maybe a good time to work on coping strategies. He may always have this tendency, and it couldn't hurt to learn some ways to deal with it when it hits. Might get some good organizational ideas from reading ADD help books, even though that's probably not what's going on (or maybe it is?). We're tinkering with that diagnosis for myself (along with my panic and depression), but I will say, I did learn a lot of tips for coping with my full-time job years ago, before I even had the other issues. If the help fits, the label doesn't matter. :)

[Cricket]

If it's not new behavior, I'd suspect auditory processing disorder or auditory memory deficit, along with some organizational difficulties. My 13 yo dd is like this, but she's always been this way and she is diagnosed with APD, slow processing speed, and difficulty with one type of logical thinking (I can never remember whether it's inductive or deductive).

 

Hmmm...the other day I was in a different room and asked him to bring something to me. He didn't respond so dh asked him what I had said. He said something similar but instead of "bring to me" he heard "take" something to somewhere else. He does change things around in his head. He's had such a problem with his tkd instructor. Ds get frustrated because he doesn't think his tkd instructor explains things clearly, even when it is clear to everyone else. Wow, it's kind of obvious now that I look back that maybe he does have a problem.

 

How do I go about testing? Can we get it done through the school district? Is it usual to go through a pediatrician. We don't have insurance.

[KristenS]

How is he as a visual learner, with written material? Does your tkd instructor have a manual with photos he could look at?

 

I ask because one weekend at a youth retreat, I got to attend a short lesson on juggling. I spent the whole time not getting what the instructor was describing to us, and I thought that what I was doing looked just like what he was doing. At the very END he gave us handouts with diagrams ... and I could immediately see what I'd been doing all wrong. (Still can't juggle worth a hoot, but at least I can honestly say I understand how now.) It was amazing what a difference that made.

[Pippen]

Hmmm...the other day I was in a different room and asked him to bring something to me. He didn't respond so dh asked him what I had said. He said something similar but instead of "bring to me" he heard "take" something to somewhere else. He does change things around in his head. He's had such a problem with his tkd instructor. Ds get frustrated because he doesn't think his tkd instructor explains things clearly, even when it is clear to everyone else. Wow, it's kind of obvious now that I look back that maybe he does have a problem.

 

How do I go about testing? Can we get it done through the school district? Is it usual to go through a pediatrician. We don't have insurance.

 

Testing for Central Auditory Processing Disorder is done by an audiologist, and usually wouldn't be available through the school district. Testing for language processing issues are done by a speech language pathologist and could be done through the school. Speech therapists often recognize CAPD, but don't have the equipment to do the assessments. Much of the therapy is the same, so I'd start with the school if you don't have insurance. You'll want to call to request an evaluation through the school special education office, then follow up with a written letter as the letter starts an offical timeline. This is a busy time of year for special services staff members so I wouldn't delay.

 

If you're DH has been thinking something is "off" for a long time, I'd definitely get it checked out. Very often they're the last to admit something isn't typical.

 

While you're waiting, I'd give any multi-step instructions as well as important information in lists. I'd also make sure I was making eye contact with him because if he has issues like auditory discrimination it may be hard for him to sort out voices from the background noise.

[Cricket]

How is he as a visual learner, with written material? Does your tkd instructor have a manual with photos he could look at?

 

I ask because one weekend at a youth retreat, I got to attend a short lesson on juggling. I spent the whole time not getting what the instructor was describing to us, and I thought that what I was doing looked just like what he was doing. At the very END he gave us handouts with diagrams ... and I could immediately see what I'd been doing all wrong. (Still can't juggle worth a hoot, but at least I can honestly say I understand how now.) It was amazing what a difference that made.

 

He is definitely a visual learner. He remembers pictures and video very well. (He likes our picture studies and is very good and drawing and copying those.) His tkd instructor will have the kids spar for two hours and then at the end will show them different things they can do. I think the same thing, Why couldn't you show this to them SOONER! Ds is no longer doing tkd. Last week the instructor told me that he just couldn't teach ds anymore because he never listens and wasn't getting any better. I think he gave up on ds a few months ago. :mad: We will do better at another place anyway! Yes, the instructor is a grandmaster and has all these amazing credentials but he and ds never did quite mesh.

[Cricket]

Testing for Central Auditory Processing Disorder is done by an audiologist, and usually wouldn't be available through the school district. Testing for language processing issues are done by a speech language pathologist and could be done through the school. Speech therapists often recognize CAPD, but don't have the equipment to do the assessments. Much of the therapy is the same, so I'd start with the school if you don't have insurance. You'll want to call to request an evaluation through the school special education office, then follow up with a written letter as the letter starts an offical timeline. This is a busy time of year for special services staff members so I wouldn't delay.

 

If you're DH has been thinking something is "off" for a long time, I'd definitely get it checked out. Very often they're the last to admit something isn't typical.

 

While you're waiting, I'd give any multi-step instructions as well as important information in lists. I'd also make sure I was making eye contact with him because if he has issues like auditory discrimination it may be hard for him to sort out voices from the background noise.

 

Thank you! I'll call first thing Monday morning. That is interesting about auditory discrimination. He will often tell his siblings to be quiet because he can't hear. And he's the loudest one! :001_smile: He does have a hard time thinking when there is a lot of noise and he's under some kind of stress.

[Murphy101]

While you're waiting, I'd give any multi-step instructions as well as important information in lists. I'd also make sure I was making eye contact with him because if he has issues like auditory discrimination it may be hard for him to sort out voices from the background noise.

 

THIS is what I really want. I'm not interested in testing for confirmation. I want to know coping and corrective methods. There's so many books out there on this subject and I've gleaned a lot of helpful information over the years that way. Even without a dx issue, many times the same strategies are helpful.

 

NOT saying I have a problem with parents who do want the testing, just saying this has been helpful for us.:)

[Tree House Academy]

Could it have anything to do with big life changes you all have gone through lately? Maybe he just has a lot on his mind and gets absent-minded about other things? If it keeps up, I would probably try to get him in to talk with someone...see if you can get to the bottom of things.

 

Some of it is normal. My 10 year old drives me NUTS with forgetting his TKD bag all the time, forgetting where he put his Nintendo dsi about the time we are walking out the door and he needs it, etc. Some of it may just be a pre-teen boy thing too.

[Cricket]

THIS is what I really want. I'm not interested in testing for confirmation. I want to know coping and corrective methods. There's so many books out there on this subject and I've gleaned a lot of helpful information over the years that way. Even without a dx issue, many times the same strategies are helpful.

 

NOT saying I have a problem with parents who do want the testing, just saying this has been helpful for us.:)

 

This cracked me up because dh just said the same thing. He basically said we don't have to have him tested because, of course, they are going to find *something* wrong. Just tell me what to do to fix it! :lol:

[4kids4me]

I haven't read any of the responses so forgive me if I've duplicated an answer. My son has a terrible memory...even to the point where if I tell him to get ready for bed and brush his teeth, he only remembers one thing. It turned out that he's got a working memory and executive functioning LD plus ADHD predominately inattentive subtype. I didn't even know this existed! He's very calm outwardly, but his brain can't keep focused on one thing. The memory LD and ADHD is such a hard combination for my boy! :) You can really tell when he's given multiple directions, or asked multiple questions. It's just overload. I've learned to ask him one thing at a time. We also (VERY) reluctantly started him on ADHD meds and it's made a WORLD of difference. It's been the best thing we could have done for him. We can certainly tell when he's forgotten to take them!

 

HTH! If you have any questions, feel free to PM me as I might forget to check the thread. :)

 

P.S. Edited to add...he's always had "auditory processing" type difficulties. He hates distracting noises, especially when he's doing his school work. We now understand that this is because of his ADHD and his mind not being able to focus...it's just too much of an overload! Honestly, getting an psychoeducational evaluation and putting him on meds have been SO helpful. Oh, and most suggestions that were given to us I had already implemented like probably 99% of home educating moms would (we're good at figuring stuff out, right?). But I would have NEVER known about the ADHD and WHY his memory was bad.

Edited April 3, 2010 by 4kids4me

[Pippen]

THIS is what I really want. I'm not interested in testing for confirmation. I want to know coping and corrective methods. There's so many books out there on this subject and I've gleaned a lot of helpful information over the years that way. Even without a dx issue, many times the same strategies are helpful.

 

NOT saying I have a problem with parents who do want the testing, just saying this has been helpful for us.:)

 

We had some excellent diagnosticians and I really appreciated their insights. Even though I I was a very careful observer and knew the general areas of the issues in advance of the assessments, they always saw things I missed. We also found that there were some aspects of speech therapy that my kiddo would respond to better when it came from the therapist.

[Misty]

Sounds like he has working memory deficits, which would be related to ADHD, and/or possibly an auditory processing problem..

[littleWMN]

Sounds like my dd with ADD.