My homeschooling dreans are crushed

[Momof2kids]

My daughter is 12 (7th grade) and she sees school as a chore that has to be done. Overall she doesn’t like it. But she does my little check list independently. Then on her own she reads a lot of fiction and often gets non-fiction books out of the library for whatever she wants to learn about. She teaches herself math well and only occasionally needs clarification. She writes stories and writes in her journal. She scores well on the Iowa Basics. So I have made peace with her lack of excitement for school work because she does so well.

My son is 10 (4th grade) and he is below average with reading. His printing is bad. His handwriting is kind of nice though. He can’t read handwriting. He can’t remember anything we learn about science or history. He doesn’t get what a noun, pronoun, adjective, etc. is unless I drill it into his head for about 10 minutes. Then he kind of gets it. But the next day I have to drill it into his head again. Every day he is a black slate. He doesn’t process anything.

My son gets angry and sometimes cries because he says he wants to learn and remember things but he can’t. My son and I always end up fighting and I basically have not done formal schooling with him for about 2 months. We tried again today and we ended up the same.

He is bright. He gets math when it’s applicable to his life. He can read well when it’s something he likes, which is very limited and not educational. He can remember all sorts of nonsense stuff that he likes but it’s not educational or useful. He can’t focus on school work, yet he can focus on reading the directions and building Lego kits correctly with over 2000 pieces, play a video game or something else he wants to do. He has a lot of friends in our neighborhood all public schooled except for one who is also homeschooled. He is a leader, an organizer and his verbal skills have made a huge leap forward in the last year. His reasoning skills and processing about things in life have also improved this last year. These things were a problem but I have seen them improve this last year so I am encouraged about that.

I know Raymond Moore advocated not doing formal schooling until 9 or sometimes even 12 with a boy. But come on!!! My son says he is embarrassed around his public schooled friends when they talk about stuff they learned in school. He is sad and upset and angry.

I don’t believe he has any kind of learning disability but if you think there is something I should consider let me know.

Will this ever just click with him? I can’t do anything more for him. I am at my wits end.

I am thinking about a learning center like Sylvan or Huntington but they are expensive. And he does not want to go there. I think he is afraid. And I don’t want to take him there if he just needs more time for his boy brain to develop.

[Joanne]

What curriculum are you using and how are you using it?

[Sue G in PA]

Well, you just described my almost 9yo ds. To a tee. He remembers every line from his favorite movie, can put together mega Lego creations, read directions for such things, memorize the number of every Ravens player

AND how to spell their names, play every video game imaginable and win...even if it is his first time playing. Need I go on? It is obvious these boys are bright and motivated...to do things THEY are intersted in and things THEY want to do. I feel your pain, though. But, we can only lead a "horse" to water. We cannot make them drink. You cannot force a child to "learn" or "memorize" anything they don't want to. Trust me...I have tried it all. Bribery, coercion, punishment, reward, positive reinforcement, etc. Nothing.works. I do believe R. Moore has a point...'some' boys are simply not ready for formal academics until much later than others. What I am doing with my ds: He does not get to play his coveted video games until his work is done. He gets 5 min. for every subject he completes. It is a real motivator. I taylor his copywork to subjects of interest: Ravens, video games, Star Wars, etc. I word math problems in terms he can understand "If I give you 5 min. of play time for every subject you complete and you complete 6...how much time do you have to play? (mult)" He gets it. I have him make change when we go to the farm to buy our milk and eggs, etc. I have him count out his allowance in different coin denominations each week. I let him read whatever he likes (w/in reason). My not-so-professional advice? Give him another year and see how he is. Are you planning to put him in ps later? That would be a different story. I don't plan on putting mine in ps until at least high school. Oh, and don't forget reading to him. They do remember a lot...esp. when their hands are busy while you read. Don't give up. :grouphug:

[Momof2kids]

What curriculum are you using and how are you using it?

 

At this point I've tried a variety of curriculum. I don't think it matters with my son but here is a history if I can remember correctly.

 

Calvert K and 1st and 2nd and some Sonlight books. Overall he liked Calvert, but it started getting a bit difficult for him especially the writing and reading so I didn't buy it for 3rd grade. I did 3rd grade Calvert with my daughter and I KNOW he would not be able to do it. Every curriculum for 3rd and 4th grade would be a struggle for him. I know because I was a curriculum junkie with my daughter so she has tried alot of curriculum.

 

So for 3rd and now 4th we have read alot of Usborne Books together and alot of short stories and books for his age and he has read books to me that I got from the library for his skill level. He has done printing and handwriting workbooks. We have done some basic grade level workbook pages here and there but they are not helpful so we dropped them. My daughter hated workbooks as well.

 

For 5th I plan on doing Oak Meadow because it is gentle and not schooly. My daughter finally settled on OM in 5th grade and while she is not thrilled with any curriculum really, she found OM to be the best fit for her. It gets the job done without the stress.

 

We didn't like OM bfore 5th. Not meaty enough. Kind of flakey. Only OM 4th Math is ok and I am doing that with my son. Hhe does ok except he is struggling with long division. I am not freaking out about long division at this point.

 

I am going to do all OM with my son for 5th and hope that with the gentle approach of OM and with his being almost 11 when we start in September that we can have a fresh start and maybe make some progress. Since we found OM to be extremely light up until 5th grade I am really hoping that my son can jump into OM for 5th and start thriving with that. That is my plan and hope.

[Lovedtodeath]

I don’t believe he has any kind of learning disability but if you think there is something I should consider let me know.

:grouphug:Sounds like ADHD. Most people with ADHD can and do hyperfocus on selective things. A lot of us beat ourselves up for being stupid or lazy too. :grouphug: (that one was for me). Some people have ADD without the H. Dr. Sears has some information that describes ADHD, for a start.

[Momof2kids]

My not-so-professional advice? Give him another year and see how he is. Are you planning to put him in ps later? That would be a different story. I don't plan on putting mine in ps until at least high school. Oh, and don't forget reading to him. They do remember a lot...esp. when their hands are busy while you read. Don't give up. :grouphug:

 

 

That is my plan. I just need some encouragement and to know that my son isn't the only boy like this. Thanks.

 

No he will not be going to PS. I am hoping that he will continue to mature and hopefully start fresh in the fall with Oak Meadow 5th. It is gentle.

[Guest]

What you are describing sounds to me as if it's not a matter of your son not being ready to learn as having a visual-spatial learning style, and the specific grammar and reading you are doing with him isn't connecting because it doesn't play to his strengths. There are some great threads on visual learners on the boards, some great websites, and books including:

 

Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World

Upside-Down Brilliance

Visual-Spatial Learners

Unicorns Are Real

 

The things you describe him doing -- Legos, etc. -- are actually highly educational. Lego and K'Nex both have some really terrific science-tech kits; why not do science by capitalizing on his abilities and interests and have him build a K'Nex roller coaster and do the experiments that come with it; build pulleys and levers and machines with moving parts and discuss how they work? Let him go at history through that angle as well: study war machines, build a catapult, watch NOVA videos on how the pyramids and cathedrals were built, etc. See if he prefers to get his information from educational videos rather than books. You won't do his entire curriculum this way, but you can certainly do some of it, and then he will begin to feel that he is accumulating knowledge and is not "behind" his friends all the time. In the book Right-Brained Learners I listed above, the author talks about how relieved kids are when their strengths are understood and incorporated into schoolwork, so that they begin to feel less like failures and more confident, more optimistic, about themselves and about learning. Your son sounds very bright and I'd try to find some areas to use his capabilities AS SCHOOL, even if this doesn't look like you'd imagined.

[JVA]

I suggest you get him evaluated by a developmental optometrist- not your garden variety optometrist.....they do a lot of checking on the nerve pathways that are ingrained now to see how he is processing what he sees on the visual field. And the exams were fun for our kids! I was so surprised when 2 of our boys had 'issues' These were completely missed by the regular exam. Their issues were treatable and corrected by vision therapy. Even if insurance won't cover it, it is invaluable to be informed - IF this is an issue......I've been h.s. for 23 years and whenever I hear of a child (especially a boy) who is having any kind of learning challenge, I always suggest this. It's a good starting point and you may find that his vision is completely fine. You can check out these websites for more information:

http://www.childrensvision.com/OD.htm

http://covd.org/ -good info and help locating a doctor!

http://ontrackreading.com/the-vision-piece/find-a-vision-therapy-provider/

 

Hope this is helpful. You sound like you're doing such a good job. Try not to be too discouraged. Blessings on you! :grouphug:

Edited March 22, 2010 by JVA

[tex-mex]

Legally, you are entitled to any testing by your local school district. It could be ADHD or a mild processing issue (i.e. working memory)? I would get the testing done so you can learn how to tailor the curriculum to his needs.

[gingersmom]

Has your son always been homeschooled?

 

Have you thought about doing unit studies with him? Let him pick out history and science subjects he wants to learn about and let him be hands on in picking out the materials to use and projects to do.

 

Go to museums and other field trips and maybe that will stir an interest he wants to pursue further.

 

When my son was younger we did lots of sitting on the couch and just reading history and science books and lots of hands on activities.

 

I really like Oak Meadow. We use it as our spine and then hit the libraries (we use more than one) for lots of additional materials.

[Mandamom]

With the reading issues and the lack of memory, in addition to ADHD, I would also consider Auditory Processing Disorder and/or dyslexia. In other words, I really think you might have a learning disability. For a child that has struggled for so many years it seems to me as if there might be a reason why he hasn't learned the information.

 

Frequently, the visual spatial learner as suggested in another post frequently can be diagnosed as a mild dyslexia -- with reading and spelling issues that don't show up until a little bit older.

 

 

After reading your post again, I'm sad for both of you because you both sound so frustrated and sad. It just sounds as if you are both beating (figuratively) each other up because he struggles to learn -- which happens to be a learning disability.

 

You should look into some evaluations before he starts really labeling himself as "dumb" and "stupid" as he might already be doing, even if he hasn't said that to you.

 

I think that it is okay to realize that you might need some help and getting an outside tutor or teacher -- who can work with his learning issues might be the direction you need. Does it have to be Sylvan or Huntington? No. Look around you might find some alternatives. It can be a positive experience for him even if he's afraid of it now. I have tutored several homeschool students and I'm always 100% supportive of their homeschooling.

 

If you decide to start with an evaluation -- whether through the schools or privately -- you can get some helpful information in how to teach him. Post on the Special needs boards for others that might have some insight.

[Laurie4b]

My daughter is 12 (7th grade) and she sees school as a chore that has to be done. Overall she doesn’t like it. But she does my little check list independently. Then on her own she reads a lot of fiction and often gets non-fiction books out of the library for whatever she wants to learn about. She teaches herself math well and only occasionally needs clarification. She writes stories and writes in her journal. She scores well on the Iowa Basics. So I have made peace with her lack of excitement for school work because she does so well.

My son is 10 (4th grade) and he is below average with reading. His printing is bad. His handwriting is kind of nice though. He can’t read handwriting. He can’t remember anything we learn about science or history. He doesn’t get what a noun, pronoun, adjective, etc. is unless I drill it into his head for about 10 minutes. Then he kind of gets it. But the next day I have to drill it into his head again. Every day he is a black slate. He doesn’t process anything.

My son gets angry and sometimes cries because he says he wants to learn and remember things but he can’t. My son and I always end up fighting and I basically have not done formal schooling with him for about 2 months. We tried again today and we ended up the same.

He is bright. He gets math when it’s applicable to his life. He can read well when it’s something he likes, which is very limited and not educational. He can remember all sorts of nonsense stuff that he likes but it’s not educational or useful. He can’t focus on school work, yet he can focus on reading the directions and building Lego kits correctly with over 2000 pieces, play a video game or something else he wants to do. He has a lot of friends in our neighborhood all public schooled except for one who is also homeschooled. He is a leader, an organizer and his verbal skills have made a huge leap forward in the last year. His reasoning skills and processing about things in life have also improved this last year. These things were a problem but I have seen them improve this last year so I am encouraged about that.

I know Raymond Moore advocated not doing formal schooling until 9 or sometimes even 12 with a boy. But come on!!! My son says he is embarrassed around his public schooled friends when they talk about stuff they learned in school. He is sad and upset and angry.

I don’t believe he has any kind of learning disability but if you think there is something I should consider let me know.

Will this ever just click with him? I can’t do anything more for him. I am at my wits end.

I am thinking about a learning center like Sylvan or Huntington but they are expensive. And he does not want to go there. I think he is afraid. And I don’t want to take him there if he just needs more time for his boy brain to develop.

 

The Moores' work is not based on research. A 10 year old who is below average in reading and who is having such difficulty remembering things that he cries really needs an evaluation. This is NOT the kind of evaluation they would do at Sylvan but can be done by a number of different psychologists. My preference is to get one from a neuropsychologist. You can usually get most of the testing done free at a local public school (the IQ and achievement test, which will likely be done by an educational psychologits) ) and then get additional testing and interpretation from the neuropsych. The testing is to help you understand your child's brain and then you will be a position to choose the best approach for him. You may need to get special tutoring, but I would not recommend Sylvan.

 

Years ago, I initiated a post that many moms on the special needs board contributed to; later I posted it as an "Open Letter to the Homeschool Community." I say that to be clear that it was a group effort of many WTM moms who had BTDT. It's here http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forum...ght=heartbreak

 

Here's one article I found quickly googling it, if you want to start to look at the research as opposed to other mom's experiences in terms of a reading delay:

http://www.examiner.com/x-/x-4959-Sp...lag-in-reading

 

Please don't wait for the "click."

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Go to hslda.org, and click on "Struggling Learners" (on the right side of the home page).

 

Read the intro there, then scroll down to the yellow block, and read through the Introduction and Checklists in the left column. These will give you an idea where your son fits, whether his difficulties might be visual, or auditory, or kinesthetic. The other articles will give you ideas on how to help him.

 

I have heard Dianne Craft (one of the contributors) speak, and have tried several of her methods with my son (who sounds very much like yours). After you go through the checklists and articles on HSLDA's Struggling Learners pages, visit her site http://www.diannecraft.com, and look at her CDs and DVDs. Look especially at Teaching the Right Brained Child, and The Biology of Learning and Behavior. Again, I have used many of her suggestions, and my son's learning and behavior have improved dramatically. I'd be happy to share more, but I need to go cook dinner.

 

Hang in there! All is not lost! Honest! I have SO been where you are. It can be better; you just need the right tools.

[Peela]

It sounds like my son too, except that my son has never been into Lego, strangely. His strength is verbal, he is a leader- he is the leader of the kids in the street. I finally had him tested and he was diagnosed dyslexic at age 12, which seems very obvious in retrospect, since his dad and half sister are dyslexic, but I never thought to get him tested before a couple of years ago. The test made him feel he wasnt stupid

 

The approach I have taken with him I am very happy with, even though his memory is terrible in the way your son's is- and his attitude is not so good either- he is not interested. I used copywork, dictation and narration- and I still do, for periods of time. I think it is the best method for building visual memory. We did repeat dictations for a long time- the same dictation every day until he made no mistakes on it.

I read to him every day, and I made him read aloud every day, then read silently. His reading took off at age 9.5.

I made him write small amounts each day, rotating it through different subjects.

We did a lot of work orally. Nowadays he can work much more independently and we do less together, but I still read aloud daily.

History we have always done together- usually I read aloud. We discuss. However I find that what he remembers most are the movies we watch related to our history. We spent 6 months studying the Iliad when he was 11. But what he remembers is the movie Troy. We studied Ancient Greece and Rome, and he remembers the movie 300. I guess they work as memory pegs for him.

I also looked right into the Moore's method, unschooling, you name it. I am glad I didnt go with those methods because ds has a learning difference and I think the slow and steady approach over years, with lots of repetition, has been best for him (even if he still forgets things).

I only used OM Environmental Science for my dd when she was 9/10, and I think it was quite igorous rather than gentle. It involved a lot of reading and too much writing for my son.

CTT has been good for him. It appeals to his quirky mind.

Ds is heading towards doing some community college courses and now at 14 has a part time job doing gardening and reticulation. I am just trying to wrk with who heis, and mke sure his basic communication skills and general knowledge are good enough for him to not come across as uneducated. Difficult..but like your son, he is brilliant in some areas. My son is well read and has at least ben exposed to history, even if he doesnt remember much!

It is a bit disillusioning when your kids arent enthusiastic for learning, or dont learn well...but its pretty normal, and the challenge is to work with the kids weve got. I wouldnt put all my hopes in a particular curriculum...I did that for years, jumping from one to he next, hoping for something to click for my son....in the end we always use a bit of this and bit of that and each subject is individual, depending on how it is presented. I do wish I had tried Math U See before now though- it seems to work well for him.

[swellmomma]

:grouphug:Sounds like ADHD. Most people with ADHD can and do hyperfocus on selective things. A lot of us beat ourselves up for being stupid or lazy too. :grouphug: (that one was for me). Some people have ADD without the H. Dr. Sears has some information that describes ADHD, for a start.

 

:iagree: That is exactly what I was going to say.

 

OP, you described the scenario in our home often as a result of ds's adhd and slow processing speed. If you are finding that he is only retaining what matters to him and you 2 fight otherwise than I think I would switch to a project based/unit study, child led study. For example, You noted his love of his lego's, Why not study physics using them, design bridges and measure how much they can support. Have him write a script for a new lego video game, or a review of one all ready out there. Read books about amusement park design, simple machines etc. Do math problems using perimeter, area, money, volume, angles and fractions using lego as the idea. You can do the same for video games. You may find after only a couple of these unit studies he is feeling some much needed success and is ready to tackle a new topic. From the sounds of it he is the type of kid who succeeds by immersing himself fully in a topic so use that as your starting point and try it out.

 

The kids are having a party on Saturday night. I even used the planning of that to get the kids (especially ds) thinking about real life applications. They designed the invitations and planned the guest list. Then they had to plan teh menu and activities based on a $45 budget. They went to the stores with me and priced out by unit the cost of the food to get the best deal. They decided that home made pizzas were a better choice than ordering them so they could afford a craft and a movie. All of these things got them thinking and bringing out math skills they thought they didn't even have. That success is leaking into other areas and helping make school time more successful.

[AnointedHsMom]

Laurie4b I am interested in both links you gave but both links did not go anywhere. One said not found & the other said not authorized. Could you relink maybe?

 

Thanks,

Paige

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Laurie4b I am interested in both links you gave but both links did not go anywhere. One said not found & the other said not authorized. Could you relink maybe?

 

Thanks,

Paige

 

I had the same problem. Perhaps they've been moved? I hope they're not gone forever. . .

[AngieW in Texas]

You have to scroll down to read all of the post because it's broken up into several parts. This is Laurie4b's Heartbreak Cake post.

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=22834&highlight=cake+recipe

 

I would also urge you to go for testing. Something is going on here. Figuring out what it is will get you partway to solving it. My dd was immensely relieved to find out that she was dyslexic. She made up all sorts of labels for herself and none of them were kind. Once I knew she was dyslexic, I was able to find programs that worked for her. She is in 6th grade now and reading on grade level. She has also managed to write over 300 typed pages worth of stories in the past 3 months.

[EKS]

Please don't wait for the "click."

 

I agree.

[Guest emb2x2]

Please check out Dianne Craft's Biology of Behavior. It sounds like she knows your son! She has things that will make all the difference in his life!...and yours!

[Happy2BaMom]

Every day he is a black slate. He doesn’t process anything.

 

Sorry, but I think those statements are critical. What you described is NOT normal...no matter what his age.

 

I agree with other posters - I encourage you to have him evaluated. Talk to your doctor if you don't know where to start.

 

Best of luck to you.

[2boysmom]

My daughter is 12 (7th grade) and she sees school as a chore that has to be done. Overall she doesn’t like it. But she does my little check list independently. Then on her own she reads a lot of fiction and often gets non-fiction books out of the library for whatever she wants to learn about. She teaches herself math well and only occasionally needs clarification. She writes stories and writes in her journal. She scores well on the Iowa Basics. So I have made peace with her lack of excitement for school work because she does so well.

My son is 10 (4th grade) and he is below average with reading. His printing is bad. His handwriting is kind of nice though. He can’t read handwriting. He can’t remember anything we learn about science or history. He doesn’t get what a noun, pronoun, adjective, etc. is unless I drill it into his head for about 10 minutes. Then he kind of gets it. But the next day I have to drill it into his head again. Every day he is a black slate. He doesn’t process anything.

My son gets angry and sometimes cries because he says he wants to learn and remember things but he can’t. My son and I always end up fighting and I basically have not done formal schooling with him for about 2 months. We tried again today and we ended up the same.

He is bright. He gets math when it’s applicable to his life. He can read well when it’s something he likes, which is very limited and not educational. He can remember all sorts of nonsense stuff that he likes but it’s not educational or useful. He can’t focus on school work, yet he can focus on reading the directions and building Lego kits correctly with over 2000 pieces, play a video game or something else he wants to do. He has a lot of friends in our neighborhood all public schooled except for one who is also homeschooled. He is a leader, an organizer and his verbal skills have made a huge leap forward in the last year. His reasoning skills and processing about things in life have also improved this last year. These things were a problem but I have seen them improve this last year so I am encouraged about that.

I know Raymond Moore advocated not doing formal schooling until 9 or sometimes even 12 with a boy. But come on!!! My son says he is embarrassed around his public schooled friends when they talk about stuff they learned in school. He is sad and upset and angry.

I don’t believe he has any kind of learning disability but if you think there is something I should consider let me know.

Will this ever just click with him? I can’t do anything more for him. I am at my wits end.

I am thinking about a learning center like Sylvan or Huntington but they are expensive. And he does not want to go there. I think he is afraid. And I don’t want to take him there if he just needs more time for his boy brain to develop.

 

 

My son sounds very similar to yours. He's 11 now. He's been a late reader, has no patience for school, everything. Had him tested and he does have significant s.t. memory issues, also probably ADD (not hyper), so it's been tough. BUT....I want to say that THIS YEAR (he just turned 11 in FEB) he's starting to get things better and his reading is getting there and so I think there is hope for you too. I do think some boys just aren't interested in formal schooling or are not mature enough to pay real attention until one day it hits them. I just want to say, it may just be waiting is okay for you too. I've done it, and it's getting better now.

[Tap]

I don't have time to read all the responses but one curriculum that has a bit of a different approach is Learning Beyond The Page. I haven't used the older levels but dd likes the younger ones.

[Quiver0f10]

 

Please don't wait for the "click."

 

:iagree: I regret waiting for the click that never came. It definitely sounds like a learning disability of some sort and I recommend getting an evaluation done and going from there.

[TracyR]

At this point I've tried a variety of curriculum. I don't think it matters with my son but here is a history if I can remember correctly.

 

Calvert K and 1st and 2nd and some Sonlight books. Overall he liked Calvert, but it started getting a bit difficult for him especially the writing and reading so I didn't buy it for 3rd grade. I did 3rd grade Calvert with my daughter and I KNOW he would not be able to do it. Every curriculum for 3rd and 4th grade would be a struggle for him. I know because I was a curriculum junkie with my daughter so she has tried alot of curriculum.

 

So for 3rd and now 4th we have read alot of Usborne Books together and alot of short stories and books for his age and he has read books to me that I got from the library for his skill level. He has done printing and handwriting workbooks. We have done some basic grade level workbook pages here and there but they are not helpful so we dropped them. My daughter hated workbooks as well.

 

For 5th I plan on doing Oak Meadow because it is gentle and not schooly. My daughter finally settled on OM in 5th grade and while she is not thrilled with any curriculum really, she found OM to be the best fit for her. It gets the job done without the stress.

 

We didn't like OM bfore 5th. Not meaty enough. Kind of flakey. Only OM 4th Math is ok and I am doing that with my son. Hhe does ok except he is struggling with long division. I am not freaking out about long division at this point.

 

I am going to do all OM with my son for 5th and hope that with the gentle approach of OM and with his being almost 11 when we start in September that we can have a fresh start and maybe make some progress. Since we found OM to be extremely light up until 5th grade I am really hoping that my son can jump into OM for 5th and start thriving with that. That is my plan and hope.

 

Well Calvert, that explains part of the problem. I used Calvert with my daughters from 1-5th grade. They retained not much from this curriculum. Especially the grammar portion of Calvert. I think its terribly presented. When I stopped using Calvert my oldest at the age of 11 didn't even know what a noun was.

 

I was so mad. I tried other curriculums like R&S, Abeka, BJU and such but she was retaining none of it at all. The subject she excelled in was math.

Then I found Christian Light. The grammar program is spiral and it repeatedly brings up and reviews concepts that were learned previously. This was exactly what she needed. She needed a spiral/incremental program for grammar. Even if your not a Christian family I would seriously look into the program anyways and use it if it is bothering him so bad that he can't learn the grammar. There is also Saxon's Grammar as well , worth looking at too. It just may not be clicking with him at all.

 

You could look and see if he has any disabilities that could be causing him not to retain the information at this point as well.

Amazingly enough your son sounds much like my daughters. LOL. They only remember the stuff that doesn't mean much to their learning whatsoever and when it comes to their school stuff its like pulling teeth. I agree though that its just a lack of interest on their part. Remember we compete against, t.v. video games and peer influcence every day. Doesn't mean we don't because our children are homeschooled.

[Impish]

Friend of mine for over 20 yrs has had what sounds to be the same experiences with her son, but her boy goes to ps. After many tears of frustration (homework that takes hours and hours, complete inability to retain information, etc) they found out via testing that their son has some sort of processing disorder that affects his short term memory. He literally cannot recall math formulas (ie order of operations) and other information.

 

I'm firmly in the 'get him tested' category. Worst that could happen is you find out that he's simply not ready to read yet. Or, you may find out that there is an issue preventing him that you can address now.

 

Nothing worse than a child so frustrated and so unhappy that they believe themselves 'stupid'. :grouphug:

[Momof2kids]

Hi Everyone! Thanks for all the responses. Here is what I have decided:

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=166991

 

So basically we started doing Grade 5 Scholastic and my plan is to go slow and steady with this.

 

We have had 1 day of it. We have done a lesson in Grammar. He had to decide if it was a sentence or not and place a check mark if it was a sentence. He actually read all the sentences pretty well only needing help on a couple words. Then he went back and put the periods after the sentences. He also read a paragraph pretty well on his own and placed periods and capital letters where needed.

 

He did math just fine. We never had a problem there anyway.

 

He cursive wrote a few sentences. I dictate from a spelling/dicatation book. It's by Susan Anthony Spelling Plus.

 

He did a page of the critical thinking workbook and I only had to give him the instructions ONCE!

 

We did a small part of lesson 1 history and I felt that was all the info he could take at that time and decided to do the rest of that lesson another day. But that's OK because I don't want to overwhelm him.

 

Now my husband was home from work this day. So him being in the house might have motivated my son to pay attention better. Sometimes I think sometimes my son will not try as hard for only me. My husband told our son that he needs to take this seriously or he will start taking toys and stuff away from him and he will have to earn them back with good reports from me. This has worked in the past with his reading. But we always just lost it again, becasue I never had a curriculum I really liked with him for the past 2 years, so we always ended up back in the same rut and I couldn't punish my son because I knew that I was the one letting him down on some level with not being able to implement a curriculum for him and guide him through it.

 

My daughter watched my son doing his Calvert with me and she said that she can see a difference and it finally seems like he's actually learning something. She said she hated Calvert but it does seem like it will be a good fit for her brother.

 

My son said it still is not a load of fun but he knows he has to get the job done and give it good honest try. I really think he has it in him but I got lazy and then he got lazy. I didn't like any other curriculum for him. And I also think he was slower in getting reading and being able to pay attention. And yes, he was having bad self-talk lately too.

 

And while he didn't necessarily like our Calvert day I think he felt a sense of accomplishment and success. I think the bad self talk was just given a good kick out of his brain! The other ways I had been homeschooling him for the past 2 years were too loose for him. Not much too show at the end of the day. My daughter could just read books all day and write in a journal or stories all day and learn just fine. She's done well on the IOWA Basics too. But my son needs more concrete evidence that he accomplished something. So Calvert seems to be fitting the bill.

 

We haven't been using Calvert for 3rd and 4th grade and he did pretty well with it for K, 1st and 2nd. Except for the learning to read part. I still maintain that he just would not have been able to do Calvert 3rd and 4th at the time so we did a variety of stuff for 2 years. I think this is where I really lost him for a while. So I am happy to be back with Calvert and judging by our first day with it he is able to do the Calvert 5th Scholastic. I will just be patient and thorough and work through it with him.

 

I like that Calvert tells me what to say and how to teach. My daughter just needed a point in the right direction and she was off and learning. She would get books out of the library about something she was interested in. A wide variety. My son needs alot more guidance and actual "teaching" at this point in his life. He needs structure and so do I! He needs a curriculum to cover the bases because he won't get it covered if left to himself. Also, I am not a natural at teaching school subjects. Calvert is helping me with that.

 

So that's where we are right now. I just thought I'd update you.:)

Edited April 12, 2010 by Momof2kids