How do you get past

[bbmom]

people looking at you like you have lost your mind when you tell them you homeschool? Seriously, everyone I have mentioned homeschooling to looks at me like I am insane. I had someone tell me it wouldn't be good for my son, someone tell me I should send him to K so he could learn to wait his turn amongst 28 other kids and do the academic stuff after school ??? We have been in preschool for 3 years-he knows how to behave in a school setting and wait his turn-is it so crazy to believe he will get a better education (and have a better experience) homeschooling with his best friend than in school?

[AuntieM]

You won't get past it until your child is no longer homeschooling! But you will get used to it.

 

Practice smiling. Spend a little time coming up with some concise standard answers for the most frequently asked questions. Also consider some longer answers for the few you'll meet who are truly interested in learning about homeschooling.

 

In my experience, "We feel it's the best option for our family's needs" is a good catch-all reply. If necessary, be prepared to follow up with something like, "Do you have a recipe for home made marshmallows?" In the first years, I remember being all geared up for battle when someone questioned this decision. These days I am much more comfortable with a simple, even pass-the-bean-dip type of response. Easier on the nerves. :)

 

By the way, you *know* you're not crazy, no matter how many times you get that look!

[Mom-ninja.]

Smile sweetly, and move on.

[Sophia]

As you get time and experience under your belt, you will care less what others think or express to you.

I have always been confident in our decision to homeschool and I consider the opinions of those who differ with my decision to homeschool my children to be meaningless, ignorant and not worth my time.

[Plucky]

Don't volunteer more than you need to. Most people have no real clue about homeschooling. They only know what they see on tv and through the media. The worst experiences I've had were hair dressers and cashiers. I don't know why. Don't let it bother you. You know what you're doing.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I've found that as I homeschooled longer and grew more confident in it, that most people stopped looking at me strangely or commenting. Somehow they can smell it if you are insecure about it! For those few people who do comment, I don't let it bother me but answer with a laugh. That throws them! (P.S. the only ones this doesn't work on are some family members).

[Paintedlady]

I'm so confident that what I'm doing is right and good for my kids, that I simply don't care what people think. :001_tt2: <------ That's what I think of their opinion. ;)

[PineFarmMom]

I've found that as I homeschooled longer and grew more confident in it, that most people stopped looking at me strangely or commenting. Somehow they can smell it if you are insecure about it! For those few people who do comment, I don't let it bother me but answer with a laugh. That throws them! (P.S. the only ones this doesn't work on are some family members).

 

:iagree: What she said. We've been doing it 10 years and people who know me seem resigned to it now. The newbies who find out usually don't have an effect on me like they used to, and once they spend any time with my dc, they think I'm doing something right.

 

I had an ex-school teacher real estate agent last year who was amazed and had no end of good things to say about my kids, to me and others, and I really didn't even notice them doing anything exemplary other than the fact that they are nice to one another and have fun and are respectful to adults. I forget sometimes that others don't see their behavior at home. :lol: I just think time shows the proof in the pudding. Give it time and like someone else said, don't give more information than is necessary!!

 

My insecurities were extreme when I first started and other people's opinions did. not. help!!!!! For me, it took knowing that God was there helping me.

[athena1277]

I've found that as I homeschooled longer and grew more confident in it, that most people stopped looking at me strangely or commenting. Somehow they can smell it if you are insecure about it! For those few people who do comment, I don't let it bother me but answer with a laugh. That throws them! (P.S. the only ones this doesn't work on are some family members).

 

:iagree: Work on your confidence. When I tell someone we homeschool, I usually add a little something about how great/wonderful/etc it is. I am very upbeat about it and let them see how glad I am to be homeschooling.

[lynn]

I was at a New Year's Eve party at the home of dh boss. The ladies there all professionals and of course the small talk was where you work etc. It really did not bother me in the least to say I was a SAHM and hs'd my oldest son. I was confident in my decisions and did not need their approval. I just "passed the bean dip" However, when we left and door shut I heard one of the ladies say "Did she say she home schooled her kids?" dh and I just laughed. They did not have a clue where to begin with that.

[mlktwins]

I'm going to HS K my twins next year. I was at my bi-annual multiples group yard sale last week and several moms have twins going into PS. Lots of talk about which school the kids will go to and if they will be kept together or separated. Of course, I was what school my boys would be going to and I told them home school. I either got the your nuts looks without comments or the "Good for you, but I could never do that" comments. I know I'm making the best choice for my boys so I just didn't say much or try to defend my reaons why.

 

My boys have also been in pre-school the last 2 years. They can hang up their coat in the appropriate spot and wait in line just fine with the rest of the kids -- LOL. I'm confident in my decision that it is best for the boys, but I'm not always confident it is the best decision for me. I may not be sane by the end of K, but I will try my best :-).

 

Hang in there with the comments!

Mendy

[Tidbits of Learning]

The best reply I have ever given is when we ran into the kid's principal from the public elementary school they attended for 4 years. I was in the grocery store and in a hurry and couldn't avoid her. So I said hi, how are you? She said she was fine and asked how we were doing. I didn't think twice...I just blurted out in a gush with a smile on my face that it has been the best year ever.

She looked at me like she didn't know what to reply to that.

Smile and gush. It normally hushes anyone up.

[jenL]

Although I have only been homeschooling for 2 years, when I first began, I was so conscious of what others thought, and I felt like I had to constantly defend my choice. I learned quickly that doing this was futile. People often have their own view of homeschooling, and many times, it is one of ignorance (I have been on that side as well). As others have said, the longer you do it, the more confident you will feel. You'll find the people who truly care and want to know, and then you will share (however, do so in moderation... people don't want to be preached at). As for the others, you'll learn to just ignore the looks and to give a quick response such as "We're loving it, and it's the best thing our family has ever done" should they ask.

 

Homeschooling is a big step away from the norm for many of us, but if you are convicted in your decision to do it, then that will carry you through the newness and moments of uncertainty that come with it. :)

[Jennifer in MI]

I guess I've been really lucky. I can't think of one time when someone said something negative to me when I told them I was homeschooling. )Now, my MIL is a different story. But, she's just against it because it's too much work for ME. She's starting to come around as she sees how well it's working for my kids.)

 

Most people's reactions has been positive. One time, on a trip to DC, we were asked twice if we were a homeschooling family (my kids were gushing about how excited they were to go to another museum and the others in the elevator said she just knew they were homeschooled!). Anyway, again, both positive!

 

I do think it's all about confidence. I really never questioned my ability to homeschool my kids and I think that showed when I was talking about it.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[dhudson]

I've found that as I homeschooled longer and grew more confident in it, that most people stopped looking at me strangely or commenting. Somehow they can smell it if you are insecure about it! For those few people who do comment, I don't let it bother me but answer with a laugh. That throws them! (P.S. the only ones this doesn't work on are some family members).

 

:iagree:I get comments from other home schoolers about how when they are with me in pubic less people ask them questions about homeschooling. It is very rare when someone questions me.

[bbmom]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I am sure that a lot of it is in how I say it, so I will try to change the delivery. I wouldn't bring it up, except it is his Kindergarten year, so everyone asks what you are doing for Kindergarten. I am going to work on conveying how excited we are with the arrangement we have set up and maybe that will help-I just didn't expect to get "that look" from everyone.

[Jean in Newcastle]

One additional comment: I've found that one of the reasons that people clam up and are uncomfortable when you drop the "h" bomb (homeschooling bomb:D) is because they don't know how to include you in the traditional kindergarten talk. When I follow up my answer of where my kids are going with a question like "Have you done the Kindergarten round-up yet?" or "I bet Emily-Elizabeth is so excited. Have you picked out a lunch-box?" people relax and the conversation goes on.

[LibraryLover]

I guess I've been really lucky. I can't think of one time when someone said something negative to me when I told them I was homeschooling. )Now, my MIL is a different story. But, she's just against it because it's too much work for ME. She's starting to come around as she sees how well it's working for my kids.)

 

Most people's reactions has been positive. One time, on a trip to DC, we were asked twice if we were a homeschooling family (my kids were gushing about how excited they were to go to another museum and the others in the elevator said she just knew they were homeschooled!). Anyway, again, both positive!

 

I do think it's all about confidence. I really never questioned my ability to homeschool my kids and I think that showed when I was talking about it.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

 

:iagree:I have never had a negative word said to me in over 7 years of hsing, and that includes the amazing support I got from our private school when we made the decision. The librarians --and checkers at the market-- say nice things. Even my MIL is awesome about it-- sorry that yours is a pill. That could be a pain. My mother told me to hs my kids for years, so she has always been on-board. lol It's so common in MA where I am. Even in my dd's small ballet class, she is not the only hser --and her ballet teacher and her family are hsers! I was in the parents area one day and there were 4 hsing families represented (inlcuding the ballet teacher). Our hsing Yahoo group is huge.

Edited March 11, 2010 by LibraryLover

[cin]

I haven't read all the responses, but I tend to just laugh and agree. Yep, I'm crazy, but when your daughter starts reading at 3 1/2 what was I suppose to do? :D And then ask for the bean dip.