Parents of High Schoolers - Advice for us?

[Daisy]

I will have a 6th grader next year. This is not a curriculum question because I think we have a firm grasp on the direction we are moving in for Middle School. My questions are these...

 

1. What do you, as the parent of a High School, wish you had started sooner with your child? (specific skills)

 

2. Is there a book you wish you had read sooner?

 

3. Is there anything you wish you had realized sooner?

 

I tend to want to say, "I'll start thinking about that next year." She is after all only going into 6th, but if there is a body of knowledge you all wish you had discovered earlier, would you please share here?

[creekmom]

I don't have any advice, but I did want to tell you that there have been lots of threads on the high school forum asking this sort of thing. I've found a wealth of information on them!

[Frontier Mom]

I would say I wish I had started outlining sooner. I think it helps the whole thinking process.

 

Also, I'm a big fan of Inspiration software and I would have bought this years ago!! We use it for all kinds of things around here.

[Daisy]

Oooh, thank you. Guess I need to head over there. That is uncharted territory for me. :lol:

[mom2att]

My dd is in 8th, but has been doing high school work this year. I wish I had realized sooner that it is much more difficult to be flexible time-wise with homeschooling when it comes to high school, in particular when you are doing any outsourcing. My child is taking a couple of virtual school classes, a couple of co-op classes, etc. The days of "oh, we'll just do it tomorrow" are gone when that is the case. I'm enjoying my easy days of just putting school aside and spending the day at the zoo with my boys while I can--they will be high school age before I know it!

[Cedarmom]

I agree with outlining. This skill will be a big help.

 

Read more abridged or child friendly versions of great books. This makes the books less intimadating when they are older.

 

Time lines- make sure you're doing these. You really want them familiar with all the dates by high school. That way you can spend your time going deeper.

 

Practice writing. Lots of short papers.

[outtamyshell]

I would have modified our entertainment.

 

DD mentioned to me the other day that she often find analogies to books she read when she was young, and it makes her wish she would have read better books. That's a great perspective for a 17 year old, and it makes it sound like she hadn't read good books. But she did read a lot of good books! I do wish I would have rejected pop culture earlier. We watch a lot of movies. Quoting films is a big part of our family culture. I wish we would have started with the good stuff much earlier. Books that might not have held her interest when she was young could have been family movies. For instance... I found some fun Shakespeare cartoons on Netflix. How much better off would she be if we'd watched those instead of Disney?

 

I also wish I would have done more networking to build a community of resources for her. It has taken us a while to build a community of folks DD can call on for help. I wish I would have identified tutors for her in each subject. Waiting until you need a tutor is not a good time to find one. I should have started earlier identifying friends with a background in science, math, history, writing, etc. Outside tutors have helped to break up the week and provide some social outlet/mentoring opportunities for DD. I wish we could have done it more.

 

I dislike the way we push kids/teens into a different social environment from the adults. But our culture really is built around paying someone to entertain our kids rather than giving them a useful job. It's hard to fill a teens life with good work and uplifting relationships. I guess if you have a large family and stay-at-home-mom it could be easier. But I'm single and working full time. The tutors/mentors I have found for DD have evolved into a give/take relationship that's like family. I may have started out paying them for help, but it's evolved beyond that. They no longer pay DD to babysit their kids. They don't hesitate to call for help to clean their house. And they give one-off tutoring support like family. I still pay if I need to call on someone for regular (or last minute emergency) help. If I had six more years, I would try to grow that to include more people.

[Mejane]

I have an 8th grader. We are playing catch-up with working independently, keeping on task, more active reading, and lots more writing.

[laughing lioness]

What will help your high shcooler succeed: (imho)

Get them reading well and independently for long periods of time. During the summer my eled kids have to read for 1 an hour a day. Latin Highland School has an awesome summer reading list, as do many others. A lot of H.S. is independent reading. If they can read fast and with good retention, BONUS.

Writing well and with ease is key. All sorts of writing; poetry, essays, book reports, simple lit analysis (ability to i.d. plot, antagonist, protangonist, climax, resolution).

Ability to problem solve. What are the steps to problem solving? Can they apply that to many different situations.

Ability to memorize quickly, easily and well. I'm teaching Bio to 3 h.s. this spring. This week they read 1/2 a chapter and had a quiz. The 2 that can memorize well and easily retain SO.MUCH. MORE. The one who can't is soo unsure of herself and what she knows. She is embarrassed about how poorly she compares with the other 2.

Second the time line. We memorize the VP cards. Of course, a lot is still left out but they'll have a framework to fill in.

Ability to listen well and retain information by hearing it, take notes by listening. A key skill as the kids get older.

Speaking skills.

Keyboarding.

Ability to diagram well.

Latin roots or Latin study. A second langauge, I'd suggest a Romance language.

What I wish I'd realized sooner: Eled is a time of fun and exploration but there is no reason that it can't be full up of academic pursuits. We've done TONS of field trips and experiments, hands on stuff but I wish I'd prepped my kids way more than I usuallly did. It could have made what we'd done that much richer.

What I wish I'd read: The Global Student - my oldest basically did what they suggest but on her own and it could have been so much easier.

Wise words (not my own): Start with the end in mind.

[Tap]

I wish I would have done a second 8th grade year to allow more through investigation of some subjects he was interested in. Highschool is so much more regulated that elementary due to credits required for graduation. I found that we really missed our 'tangents' of learning like in elementary school.

[Daisy]

What will help your high shcooler succeed: (imho)

Get them reading well and independently for long periods of time. During the summer my eled kids have to read for 1 an hour a day. Latin Highland School has an awesome summer reading list, as do many others. A lot of H.S. is independent reading. If they can read fast and with good retention, BONUS.

Writing well and with ease is key. All sorts of writing; poetry, essays, book reports, simple lit analysis (ability to i.d. plot, antagonist, protangonist, climax, resolution).

Ability to problem solve. What are the steps to problem solving? Can they apply that to many different situations.

Ability to memorize quickly, easily and well. I'm teaching Bio to 3 h.s. this spring. This week they read 1/2 a chapter and had a quiz. The 2 that can memorize well and easily retain SO.MUCH. MORE. The one who can't is soo unsure of herself and what she knows. She is embarrassed about how poorly she compares with the other 2.

Second the time line. We memorize the VP cards. Of course, a lot is still left out but they'll have a framework to fill in.

Ability to listen well and retain information by hearing it, take notes by listening. A key skill as the kids get older.

Speaking skills.

Keyboarding.

Ability to diagram well.

Latin roots or Latin study. A second langauge, I'd suggest a Romance language.

What I wish I'd realized sooner: Eled is a time of fun and exploration but there is no reason that it can't be full up of academic pursuits. We've done TONS of field trips and experiments, hands on stuff but I wish I'd prepped my kids way more than I usually did. It could have made what we'd done that much richer.

What I wish I'd read: The Global Student - my oldest basically did what they suggest but on her own and it could have been so much easier.

Wise words (not my own): Start with the end in mind.

 

Thanks for the book suggestions. The bold items above are areas we haven't even touched yet. The rest I feel fairly confident that we have a handle on. Speaking skills are just hard! We have no outside opportunities for this. Any ideas for making this happen myself?

 

A big thanks to ALL of you. You've given me plenty to think about. I just don't want to wait until the last minute.

 

How far in advance should I start looking at record-keeping, requirements, AP classes, etc? I keep detailed lesson plans, samples, and portfolios, but we don't do grades, report cards, etc.

[LindaOz]

 

I dislike the way we push kids/teens into a different social environment from the adults. But our culture really is built around paying someone to entertain our kids rather than giving them a useful job. It's hard to fill a teens life with good work and uplifting relationships.

 

:iagree: It's even done in churches a lot of the time. I find my teens thrive on being useful and contributing to something worthwhile. They love to cook and have just been asked to cook for a fund-raising project at our church. They are loving the fact that they can do this and be part of the whole deal :) . It is so much better than just being 'entertained'.

 

So, yes, having older kids involved in something useful and bigger than themselves is a good thing, I believe.

[LindaOz]

What will help your high shcooler succeed: (imho)

Get them reading well and independently for long periods of time. During the summer my eled kids have to read for 1 an hour a day. Latin Highland School has an awesome summer reading list, as do many others. A lot of H.S. is independent reading. If they can read fast and with good retention, BONUS.

Writing well and with ease is key. All sorts of writing; poetry, essays, book reports, simple lit analysis (ability to i.d. plot, antagonist, protangonist, climax, resolution).

Ability to problem solve. What are the steps to problem solving? Can they apply that to many different situations.

Ability to memorize quickly, easily and well. I'm teaching Bio to 3 h.s. this spring. This week they read 1/2 a chapter and had a quiz. The 2 that can memorize well and easily retain SO.MUCH. MORE. The one who can't is soo unsure of herself and what she knows. She is embarrassed about how poorly she compares with the other 2.

Second the time line. We memorize the VP cards. Of course, a lot is still left out but they'll have a framework to fill in.

Ability to listen well and retain information by hearing it, take notes by listening. A key skill as the kids get older.

Speaking skills.

Keyboarding.

Ability to diagram well.

Latin roots or Latin study. A second langauge, I'd suggest a Romance language.

What I wish I'd realized sooner: Eled is a time of fun and exploration but there is no reason that it can't be full up of academic pursuits. We've done TONS of field trips and experiments, hands on stuff but I wish I'd prepped my kids way more than I usuallly did. It could have made what we'd done that much richer.

What I wish I'd read: The Global Student - my oldest basically did what they suggest but on her own and it could have been so much easier.

Wise words (not my own): Start with the end in mind.

 

Good practical advice. Thank you. :001_smile:

[LindaOz]

I wish I had put a more consistent focus on grammar in the earlier years. I know this is foundational to WTM, but I hopped around a bit changing methods here and there, and wasn't so consistent with sticking to the grammar thing. Now that I've returned to the 'fold', I'm having to back track with some of my older kids to make sure their grammar skills are solid. I regret this!! :glare:

[Peela]

Speaking skills: my 2 are natural speakers in a way. I think years or oral narrations has helped a lot. When they read books, they come and tell me about them- I call it oral narration but its pretty natural. When I read a history chapter, I ask questions and have tehm tell me back in their wn words. Sometimes I want detailed, sometimes I want brief- thats been an interesting discrimination because one kid always gives me detailed and the other always gives me brief!

Scouts has also prepared the kids for speaking in front of groups, and so has drama classes. Possibly, also not realiseing that most people are freaked out by public speaking, helps them to take it in their stride.

 

The thing with highschool for me is that things go all higgeldy piggeldy as we juggle homeschooling, social activities, various classes and now part time jobs as well. One of my kids is not academic and I have just let him take one day a week for manual labour in a friend's business- its good for him and his raging testosterone, a well as his sense of growing into manhood, and good for dd and I to have a peaceful day once a week. But, thats one day less school a week and no, he doesnt make it up on the weekend!

Your system in the U.S> is different but once found an academic pathway for my dd15, things have fallen into place and we have ended up with virtually a yearup our sleeve as she is pretty much accepted into a full time course next year already.

 

So...highschool is also a time for opportunities, extra curricula activities / following passions that might lead to careers, jobs, and a whole widening of a teenager's world. It's ok, but I wasnt expecting it to be quite so.....busy :)

 

Academically..well, if you follow TWTM or anything close to it, you will have a good foundation. My younger is struggling with writing, still, but its not like we havent focusing on it for years and years , so I dont think there is anything else I could have done...except perhaps work at his level more and get a stronger foundation, rather than always trying to push him further than he was capable. I used to panic "he would never be ready for highschool" and it meant I was always pushing him a bit, instead of relaxing and meeting him where he was at (even if it was well below grade level) and getting that solid.

 

Spelling is another interesting one. My kids have always been pretty good spellers, so i havent focused on it much. Now that their vocabulary is increasing and I am expecting them to use bigger words...I am finding their spelling skills are not matching their vocab skills. I do wish I had been a bit more..consistent about spelling. But I am not too worried.

[elegantlion]

Thanks for the book suggestions. The bold items above are areas we haven't even touched yet. The rest I feel fairly confident that we have a handle on. Speaking skills are just hard! We have no outside opportunities for this. Any ideas for making this happen myself?

 

A big thanks to ALL of you. You've given me plenty to think about. I just don't want to wait until the last minute.

 

How far in advance should I start looking at record-keeping, requirements, AP classes, etc? I keep detailed lesson plans, samples, and portfolios, but we don't do grades, report cards, etc.

 

Great thread, Daisy!

 

Have you looked in 4H in your area? It's much more than agriculture. This year our group has had a few speaking opportunities for individuals. My ds hasn't gotten bold enough to do it yet, but I think it's a great starting place to practice in a closed, encouraging environment.

[laughing lioness]

Re: Speaking Skills- have you looked at TeenPact's 1-day Speech class. It is excellent and very affordable. Go to their web-site www.teenpact.com click on your state and the info will come up. Some states have a TP club throughout the year to practice mock leg, speaking skills, etc.

Also, we had Toastmasters come and teach a semester long class for our kids as a service project one year. You might contact them and see if they would be willing to do a class in your area.

Re: Spelling for High School- we are using IEW's Advanced Spelling and Vocabulary. It is terrific. Plus, there are poems throughout.

I agree with Peela. It's amazing how quickly the time fills up in H.S. and how much time things take. We participate in a One Act Play competition each Jan and classwork takes a backseat for a month and a half.

I would just get familiar with your states req's re: graduation and forms you'll need for college. Even if a particular student doesn't think they'll go, having good records is a good idea. And, I'd check out dual-enrollment in advance so that you can utilize that option if you'd like.

[TXMary2]

I graduated my oldest last year. My middle ds will be high school in the fall and there are several things I will do different. I will focus more on writing and grammar. Also, study skills and research papers. Oldest ds doesn't have too much interest in college and he enjoys working. Upcoming high school ds wants to be a Herpetologist and will be getting a degree in Biology or Zoology so we definitely need to focus on different things for him since he is University bound.

[DarlaS]

IEW has a speech program for grades 6-12. It is brand new, and I'm not even sure it's available for sale yet.

 

Ok, here it is:

 

http://www.excellenceinwriting.com/SBC-D

 

I'm thinking of doing this with a small group if it's not offered (or possibly taught be me...) as a co-op class next year.

[TravelingChris]

Just realize that you will be very busy even though hands on teaching will not be that important. As someone else said, your schedule is much more likely to be less flexible because of things like outside classes, online classes, sports leagues, extracurricular activities and later, college classes. Also, I found that in high school, much more of the day is spent on structured activities whether it is school subjects, athletics, extras like speech or debate or other competition preparation, and outside jobs. We no longer can take vacations in off season because of high school issues.

[OnTheBrink]

Things I wish I'd taught better:

 

Grammar and writing skills. I didn't hs my son UNTIL high school, so we were already late in the game for these skills.

 

Study skills. Note-taking, managing time, prioritizing. That came to bite us all.

 

Things I'm glad I taught:

 

Logic. Boy on boy, am I glad I insisted on that.

 

Latin. Really helped with the English grammar and vocabulary.

[JennW in SoCal]

I think we all start to panic in middle school and in high school because there is so much we think we have to accomplish in such a short amount of time. While there is lots to cram into their minds -- both academic and life skills and knowledge, don't forget to simply cherish this special time with your kids. And don't forget to be patient with them when their higher-brain functions shut down during puberty.

 

So yes, grammar and writing skills are important, as is practice in note taking and outlining. So is learning to do laundry and clean the bathroom. But there is time each year to work on this, little by little, and with each passing year their maturing brains will be able grasp more and more. Be patient but persistent -- slow and steady still wins the race.

 

AND, most of all -- cherish this time. They move away and get lives of their own all too soon, so make time for family now. When there is a break in the schedule, go to a movie in the middle of the day or to the zoo, just like when they were little. Read aloud together, bake cookies together. Enjoy the young adult that is blossoming before you. Start taking pictures again like you did when they were little. Sure they are obnoxious and smelly. But they are also quite wonderful so let them know how much they are loved.

[Peela]

 

AND, most of all -- cherish this time. They move away and get lives of their own all too soon, so make time for family now. When there is a break in the schedule, go to a movie in the middle of the day or to the zoo, just like when they were little. Read aloud together, bake cookies together. Enjoy the young adult that is blossoming before you. Start taking pictures again like you did when they were little. Sure they are obnoxious and smelly. But they are also quite wonderful so let them know how much they are loved.

 

:iagree: i think this is an important point. I have become so conscious that the kids will be leaving the nest soon. I am doing the above- taking time for movies and experiences together. DH is taking dd15 to France for her 16th b'day- not because we can especally afford it, but because he knows this his last chance to do something like that with her (she is an artist and they are going to the Louvre) and she will remember it for life. We are especially doing other family holidays right now, too.

[5KidzRUs]

I wish I had pushed to get my older child in college - I tried but kept running into brick walls. My 2nd and 3rd children are 17 and 19 and starting their 3rd year of college. We are not pushing them - they enjoy themselves and both on honor roll.

[Daisy]

We no longer can take vacations in off season because of high school issues.

 

Great point though I'm laughing because hubby is a ps teacher so we NEVER get vacations in the off season (bummer).

 

I imagine it will get really interesting with one in High School and the other a 6th grader.

[mcconnellboys]

1. What do you, as the parent of a High School, wish you had started sooner with your child? (specific skills)

 

I wish that I'd done more literary analysis work with my older son, so I made myself up a notebook from free, online stuff I found last year and I've been using that with my younger son during logic stage. I'm looking to get him into group literature discussions starting next year, in seventh grade.

 

2. Is there a book you wish you had read sooner?

 

I happened to hear some talks by Inge Cannon at a convention one year and found out that she did programming called "high school boot camp". I attended that program and bought her tapes (she didn't do books) and found those useful in helping get myself ready for the high school years (even though my oldest ended up going back into a private school as a sophomore). I also found and read Cafi Cohen's books. I will be re-reading all these next year! They are very helpful.

 

3. Is there anything you wish you had realized sooner?

 

Ummmmm, can't think of anything right now in that regard......

[JennifersLost]

Start saving money for classes you can't teach!

 

I always thought we'd do most of it on our own, but I simply couldn't pull off science or higher level math.

 

Also, be prepared for not having the kind of control that you previously had. My experience is that kids develop a strong sense of who they are and what they're interested in. I looked forward for years to highschool when we'd be able to do all the "interesting" things. Of course, I was thinking about what interested me. The reality was a shock.

 

Once I got over wanting to control everything, however, I realized it was still interesting; just in a different way. I sit back and see what my kids get up to. My oldest has way outstripped me in computer programming and now works on projects alongside my husband. My second oldest is a writer, like me, and is working on a novel. But I don't do anything "with" him regarding writing except create time for him to write and occasional chats about how we approach things.

 

If you follow a traditional "going to college" curriculum much of your time will be eaten by those regular classes. I let some of that go and it's worked better for us.

 

Moving away from the East Coast/American over-emphasis on college straight out of high school has been a godsend for us. I'm much more relaxed about the whole thing and I think the kids are better for it.