Youth director takes youth to inner cities..CSM?

[Beebalm]

Have any of you had experience with csm.org? Our church youth director has decided that it's appropriate to take 9th through 12th graders to inner city Houston and Los Angeles this year for mission work. A few kids that could afford the huge price tag (and whose parents were cool) participated. My kiddos haven't been allowed to participate. I'm sure you can tell by my tone that I'm opposed. I believe taking underage youth to potentially dangerous areas is irresponsible and have just quietly not participated. I'm very supportive of the youth programs and do all I can to help/fund/drive/cook/teach, whatever. Quietly. With no griping. Today I found out that a long-awaited trip (dd has been saving and working for years to pay her way) to New York has been converted into an inner city project. I'm so frustrated that once again I get set up as the nerd overprotective parent who is sheltering her darlings. AND my (very mature and deserving) 16 year old dd misses out on a opportunity for great fellowship, spiritual growth, and fun. Why can't they go on trips that everyone feels positive about and that I don't have to feel like I'm being an idiot for putting my kid in harm's way? I'm HAPPY for them to work...just not in a violent, drug,gang-infested neighborhood. How about sending ADULTS to these places? Geez. Have any of you had trouble with these situations? Know anything about Center for Student Ministries? Oh yeah, we're the only homeschool family at our church. We're respected, but.....anytime we don't follow the crowd.......and I'm not a great crowd follower. Please tell me about any experiences with this organization. TIA

[FloridaLisa]

Beebalm,

 

Have you considered having your dd plan her own mission trip this summer? My dc have done this for a variety of reasons over the years. Do you know any missionaries? Does your denomination have a summer short-term missions program? My oldest ds went to Cameroon last summer with Teen Missions and I couldn't be happier. TMI has 30 years of experience and has rules in place to train and prepare the kids for the mission work, keep them safe during training and travel and to ensure the trip is about missions, not edutainment. :) Just some ideas.

 

Lisa

[Red]

I really don't know anything about the organization. Just wanted to share though that my parents were against the inner city mission trip. But in the end they allowed me to go. And it was a great experience. I learned alot including to appreciate all that I had. After that trip I was able to go on a missions trip to Mexico. It was very difficult though for my parents to allow.

 

I am not trying to change your mind. Just wanted to share that those trips were very valuable experiences for me. Perhaps it is possible for you to go with as well?

 

If not perhaps you would consider a more local missions project? Only you know what is best for your child. Sorry you are caught looking like the bad person in the situation.

[RobinF]

I am a very protective parent, but my husband is also a church planter/pastor so everything I say comes from that prospective. Just FYI.

 

First of all I understand that you are disappointed about the trip for you daughter. In your post you stated that she was mature and responsible. I am hoping that by the time my boys are 16 that I will be able to say the same things. I am also hoping by that age that I will be able to send them on mission trips and also go with them. I don't know about csm.org but I did look over their website and it looks like a good organization. We will probably use http://www.awestar.org/ because we are familiar with them and know what a quality organization they are.

 

I am also curious because you say the trips are expensive but how does it compare with the trip your daughter was saving for. When I looked at the website their costs were comparative to what we charged of a youth camp our church was in charge of 10 years ago.

 

The main issue for me is that the US is NOT a Christian nation and we need more Christians to take a stand and say we will not just create youth programs (or any programs in our church) that do not have the Great Commission as their cental focus. We need to be leading our church at every level to go and to go now.

 

If you don't feel comfortable with your daughter going, don't send her but also don't be critical of the choice. Your youth pastor and leadership are trying to inspire a generation of kids to see the need for missions and that is commendable.

 

Again all of this is said from the experience of a current home missionary/church planting family. We are currently planting our third church in the US and I doubt it will be our last.

[Cammie]

Just a different perspective...

 

My family was VERY involved in Habitat for Humanity when I was growing up. My dad is a church pastor. EVERY summer we took a group of kids (Jr High and High school) from suburban MA to inner-city NYC. We were working on renovating apartment buildings. It was an eye opener. We worked on the building, worked in soup kitchens, saw unimaginable poverty. Probably the adults were more tuned in to the dangers of the area. It was an awesome experience each and every time. The worst thing I remember happening was that a few boys lost money in a three card monty scam that was being played out on the sidewalk in front of the building!:tongue_smilie:

 

Of course, you have to trust the adults involved in the supervision. Maybe you can go along?

[Carol in Cal.]

I

 

The main issue for me is that the US is NOT a Christian nation and we need more Christians to take a stand and say we will not just create youth programs (or any programs in our church) that do not have the Great Commission as their cental focus. We need to be leading our church at every level to go and to go now.

 

If you don't feel comfortable with your daughter going, don't send her but also don't be critical of the choice. Your youth pastor and leadership are trying to inspire a generation of kids to see the need for missions and that is commendable.

 

 

I agree that we must go and go now. But I also think that there is a place for activities that are not solely focussed on outreach. I think that sustaining ministries that charge and recharge youth are also critical for those years. We need both.

 

I did not hear the OP say that she is against mission work. I heard that she feared for her daughter's safety and emotional wellbeing. Those are valid concerns. The question that she asked at the end of her post was very poignant to me--"Why don't the adults go do this and take those risks? Why do they have to take our children?" The Biblical model for evangelism is not to send the young and inexperienced. It is to send the experienced and spiritually mature. I think that it's great to give high school students a mission focus, but it has to be in the context of having first had that modelled by the adults in the worshipping community, and also paired with a reasonable certainty of safety.

 

I have done 'witnessing' on the street, and have taught Bible to children ages 3 through 13 or so. Both need to happen. Every Christian is called to bear witness to Christ. Where are the adults?

[Joanne]

Hm.

 

Mixed feelings here. Is the focus of the mission work evangelistic or *work* related?

 

I'm rather :001_huh:. I don't believe that middle class Christian kids need to be focused on missions to inner city youth. It has a rather, um, arrogant tone that makes it seem like the mission youth are taking a trip to see another species at the zoo.

 

Can't they help at a natural disaster torn area or something that doesn't exploit struggling youth?

 

I won't comment on the level of sheltering or what you consider dangerous; I have a different perspective and approach in that regard.

[TravelingChris]

Our church does a mission trip to Inner City Newark, NJ every two years. Our mission trips for teens are completely work related. Last year my dd who was 15 went. It was a very good experience. It helped formulate in her mind what she wants to do with her life (become a prosecutor to help promote justice for victims). Their work included painting a very large outdoor wall, assisting teachers at a school, making a meal for the Wednesday night service for everyone who was coming, and taking care of children in a afterschool program.

 

I think high school years is a completely appropriate time to go outside the usual in mission work but I agree with Joanne and want the focus of the work to be actual work and not evangelization by speech.

[Harriet Vane]

I live in a challenging urban environment. I am a white woman who lives in a primarily African-American neighborhood. My neighbors are a mix of blue collar workers and welfare recipients. East of my house the neighborhood dynamic changes, containing a far smaller percentage of workers, and crime is higher. I was a member and active ministry participant for seven years of an inner city church. Though my current church is not an inner city church, it is located right on the border between an affluent community and a rough city neighborhood (much like my house is on that border) and our church is extensively involved in city ministry.

 

I see that you are concerned for your daughter as a loving mother and applaud your care for her. However, I have to say that your post saddened me.

 

I have traveled all over the world. I have seen that the reality of America's inner cities are frighteningly, startlingly similar to the reality of every third world country I or my husband have visited.

 

I think it absolutely vital that our children live and experience at least a piece of the reality that the poor live with. For that reason I took my children (12yodd at that time, and 8yods) to Guatemala for a missions trip just this past November. They worked hard (truly they did!) in a variety of ministry settings there in addition to touring the country and seeing how some of the world's poorest people live. It has changed their perspective--and especially that of my dd--forever. It also changed a little bit of the perspective of their peers at church when they shared their experiences at Sunday School.

 

My children have also helped many, many times in inner city settings with me and with my husband, from a very young age.

 

The questions I would ask, for ANY missions trip, are:

 

--How many adults are going? What is the adult-student ratio?

 

--What policy is in place for supervision? With adequate adult supervision I would not worry about teens in an inner city setting. I speak from many, many years of experience in settings ranging from the housing projects on the south side of Chicago, inner city neighborhoods of Chicago, and various travel opportunities in other countries.

 

--What policy is in place for personal belongings? Kids should not bring small electronic gadgets of any sort or large amounts of cash. I would not even have them bring cell phones--as long as their adult supervisors have cell phones they should be fine.

 

--What organization is the group partnering with, and what are the schedule and expectations? I would expect there to be some level of organization, some expectation for ministry workers of the host organization to be present at any ministry site.

 

--What are the expectations upon the kids for personal, spiritual preparation before the trip? All too often these trips are just another thing on the list of great youth group events. However, when my dd asked me to consider bringing a group from our church to Guatemala for a missions trip, I told her I would only do so if the kids committed to weekly prayer/study both individually and as a missions team for the trip for several months in advance. There would be focused care and concern for the people who we hope to help and a high degree of personal accountability/discipleship within the group.

 

--What are the expectations for their continued spiritual growth during the trip? I would be looking for daily, individual Bible study, group prayer time, and talk sessions to process what they learn in their new environment.

 

I would encourage you to keep an open heart and mind and pray about your concerns--perhaps this trip may mature your child's perspective in wonderful ways.

[the4Rs]

I like everything Stryder said.

 

I went into to a very poor crime-riddled section of Chicago just south of Cabrini-Green when I was a junior in high school with a church youth group. We broke into groups and one group painted a youth center, one worked in a church, and one (the one I was in) served the homeless people dinner. It was an amazing experience. We got to put faces and names to the homeless and to get out of our cushy lives and serve.

 

I have also been on a mission trip halfway around the world when I was 16. There was guerilla warfare near where we were. DIdn't know that until we got there but God protected us. It comes down to a trust factor. Our children are not ours. No matter how much we like to think so. They are God's first. Yes I would pray daily for her safety if I were you but in the end who do you trust more? Yourself or God to protect your daughter? And what does your daughter say? DOes she want to go?

 

One of the worst things I have seen and I have seen it time and again... is when kids are on fire to serve God and go on mission trips and parents are too worried about the "what-ifs" to let them go and eventually I see those kids attitudes begin to change slowly from "I want to serve God anywhere" to "Maybe later" to eventually they don't even talk about it anymore and go on with their lives.

 

I want to share a story about a young lady who didn't say no at 18 to serving God. She graduated high school and decided to go to Uganda to teach for a year. Now two years later she is living there on her own and at 20 has adopted 14 girls and serves the poorest karamajong people who don't always appreciate her. But she is making a huge difference for these people and is the most sold out Christ follower I have ever seen. Our youth are not jaded by life like we adults. If your daughter wants to serve, I say let her go and trust God.

[BigMamaBird]

My dh and I took our youth group on the CSM Nashville trip and it was such an amazing experience!

 

We were able to work in a variety of different missions. One day we packed brown bag lunches and passed them out to the homeless. We spent an afternoon in an adult foster care home, chatting with the people and doing crafts with them. Another day we got up at 4 a.m. and served breakfast at a rehab facility then we spend the afternoon sorting household goods at a refugee donation place. We also cleaned out the basement at a parsonage and packed over 150 snacks at a children's child care facility in the projects.

 

The whole time we had a host person with us who knew the driving routes, had relationships with all the people at the missions and was comfortable in the places we were. At no time were we in any situation where I felt uncomfortable or unsafe.

 

This was a life changing experience for our group of middle class white kids that we brought. I can't recommend this CSM group enough. I'd be happy to answer any questions you have if you want to PM me.

[wahmbrenda]

Having worked in inner city Philadelphia, I'd never let my dd go on such a trip. These places definitely need a lot of help but I think you need to be mature enough to handle it and even at the age of 22 I was in for a culture shock. I grew up rather quickly, to say the least. With this being said though, I also wouldn't allow my dd to travel overseas in this day and age with a youth group but that's another story.

[Michelle in AL]

I would encourage you to reconsider. As a very protective mom, my children have always led and pushed ME into missions I wasn't comfortable with and we've all grown so much from them.

 

At 13, my dd was appalled to see homeless on many corners of our neighboring city. She insisted on feeding them. It was scary, we would drive by and hand them their food and then drive off. She would write a little note and put it inside. I worried someone might reach in and grab us, never happened.

 

I let them talk to one homeless man, he had no legs, so I figured he couldn't hurt them. He told them about his service in Vietnam~this probably led him to homelessness.

 

We then volunteered at a woman's shelter. I was shocked to see how many women were dressed as professionals. They slept at the shelter, had to pack all their belongings into a suitcase, leave the next morning and go to work. They just couldn't afford an apartment on their own-sort of a testimony to

Nickel and Dimed.

 

These people gave them the face of poverty. Real life people. They weren't for the most part drug addicts that we could tell, they just for some reason aren't able to make it in our world. Some have issues, you can tell, but I've never met one I felt endangered by.

 

We now volunteer bi weekly at a homeless teen shelter. We've seen no evidence of drug use there. The kids go to school and you would never know they're homeless.

 

These experiences have shaped my children's lives. They think twice about what they buy, do they really need it? They see other's needs beyond their own. They ask themselves, how can I help.

 

The experiences have also helped to shape their career choices. One wants to go into journalism and one into psychology.

 

At some level, I believe that God will protect you if you are indeed doing His will. Of course, then you need to decide, is this His will?

[chaik76]

Hm.

 

Mixed feelings here. Is the focus of the mission work evangelistic or *work* related?

 

I'm rather :001_huh:. I don't believe that middle class Christian kids need to be focused on missions to inner city youth. It has a rather, um, arrogant tone that makes it seem like the mission youth are taking a trip to see another species at the zoo.

 

Can't they help at a natural disaster torn area or something that doesn't exploit struggling youth?

 

I won't comment on the level of sheltering or what you consider dangerous; I have a different perspective and approach in that regard.

:iagree:

[mirth]

I'm rather :001_huh:. I don't believe that middle class Christian kids need to be focused on missions to inner city youth. It has a rather, um, arrogant tone that makes it seem like the mission youth are taking a trip to see another species at the zoo.

 

I am not sure I detect arrogance anywhere. Other emotions maybe, but not that. Whether or not the OP's child goes, I am sure some good will come out of this trip. People need and ask for help everywhere. If the children of the Carnegies and Rockefellers want to come to my town and clean up the retention ponds, I am all for it.

[Laurie4b]

Would you be open to considering the possibility that it would be a good thing for your daughter and for you--perhaps even God's will?

 

All of my kids have been to third world countries with my husband, two have been to a different one without him, two have done urban missions without either of us. Last year, half my family was halfway across the world in a third world country on one continent. The other half of my kids were in a third world country on another. I was not the happiest of campers (I prefer them under my watchful eye--but see below) but it was good for me and for them. I tutor in a Habitat neighborhood that is safe, but the neighborhood I drive through to get there is not. I've worked professionally and in other volunteer situations in areas that would be considered dangerous.

 

I'd suggest some areas to think about:

 

Are your fears for your dd stemming primarily from your impression that that your dd is going into an area that is generally "dangerous"? Here is my experience: "Generally" dangerous and "specifically" dangerous vary. Specifically dangerous is what you need to be concerned about. A "high crime area" is dangerous in specific ways for specific people at specific places at specific times of day. It is not necessarily dangerous for everyone within its limits. On the other hand, specific crimes can also occur in generally "low crime" areas. So if you were to tell me that the group was planning on touring a public housing complex on a Friday night, I would say that was specifically dangerous. (Weekly laborers get their checks on Fridays and have $$ for drugs and alcohol and don't have to report to work for a couple days). If, on the other hand, the group was going to be playing basketball with local youth at the neighborhood center on a Friday night, I would say that was safe.

 

People who live in areas that are "generally high crime areas" know what is and isn't safe, just as you know what is and isn't safe in your area. People who live on cul-de-sacs know that it is generally safe to let their kids play on the street; people who live in the same neighborhood, but whose road is used as a thoroughfare know not to let their kids play on the streets. Is the neighborhood safe or not? People who live in the country may not lock their doors; however, during hunting season, they may confine their kids to the house. Is the country safe or dangerous? Do you see what I mean?

 

I am guessing that your sense of your daughter's safety may be being colored by a general perception of danger that in fact isn't actually correlated with the reality.

 

To get a better grasp of the specific situation, I would ask questions of the youth pastor and someone at the organization that is sponsoring the trip. I would expect to find that they are very careful with the safety of the teens, but if you find that they are not, you would then be making your decision based on specific information rather than general impressions.

 

 

What does your dh think? Is his opinion driving yours or is yours driving his?

 

Is fear the primary motivation for your decision?

 

A pp mentioned the impact on your dd's faith. What is the relationship between protecting your children and entrusting them to God? I think every parent has to struggle with this. There have been 7 times when I've had children almost killed under my very diligent eye (involving things from black widow spiders to copperheads to potential for drowning, etc) . The last time, I was a wreck and God really spoke to me that while I was often the vessel he used to protect them, that unless He was their protector, all my efforts were in vain.

 

Here's a saying that I think is very true: The safest place to be is at the center of His will. It may well be that God's will for your daughter is to stay home, but I would weigh your perception of his will extra carefully if fear is weighing strongly into your decision. My greater concern would be how your fear for her physical safety affects her spiritual development. Reading through the Scriptures, we read about the spiritual accomplishments of children and youth, some of whom were in physical danger--others in emotionally difficult situations: Isaac, Samuel, David, Josiah, Naaman's servant girl, Mary the mother of Jesus, the child who informed Paul of the plot against him, etc. In our own time, for instance, reading the biographies of African-American children who were the first to integrate their schools, or otherwise expose themselves to danger, I find an incredible strength of character as adults. Their childhood heroism, anchored in their faith in God, had a strengthening impact on their lives. Missionary stories are also often filled with incidents in which the children were in danger and yet the parents trusted in God to take care of them. Might you be denying your daughter and yourself an opportunity to strengthen your faith?

Edited February 22, 2010 by Laurie4b

[Melinda in VT]

Have any of you had experience with csm.org? Our church youth director has decided that it's appropriate to take 9th through 12th graders to inner city Houston and Los Angeles this year for mission work. A few kids that could afford the huge price tag (and whose parents were cool) participated. My kiddos haven't been allowed to participate. I'm sure you can tell by my tone that I'm opposed. I believe taking underage youth to potentially dangerous areas is irresponsible and have just quietly not participated. I'm very supportive of the youth programs and do all I can to help/fund/drive/cook/teach, whatever. Quietly. With no griping. Today I found out that a long-awaited trip (dd has been saving and working for years to pay her way) to New York has been converted into an inner city project. I'm so frustrated that once again I get set up as the nerd overprotective parent who is sheltering her darlings. AND my (very mature and deserving) 16 year old dd misses out on a opportunity for great fellowship, spiritual growth, and fun. Why can't they go on trips that everyone feels positive about and that I don't have to feel like I'm being an idiot for putting my kid in harm's way? I'm HAPPY for them to work...just not in a violent, drug,gang-infested neighborhood. How about sending ADULTS to these places? Geez. Have any of you had trouble with these situations? Know anything about Center for Student Ministries? Oh yeah, we're the only homeschool family at our church. We're respected, but.....anytime we don't follow the crowd.......and I'm not a great crowd follower. Please tell me about any experiences with this organization. TIA

 

When is the NY trip? What were you thinking it was going to be like? Was it definitely planned that way? Or is this a tradition with your church and you were expecting it to continue but nothing formal had been done on the trip yet?

 

I don't know that I would speak to the pastor about this. It depends on the answers to those questions.

 

I'm guessing that if the nature of the trips are changing, that means that those trips weren't trips "that everyone feels positive about."

 

As for your daughter (assuming you remain uncomfortable with the youth group trip), could she use the money she's been saving up for the NY trip to attend a Christian summer camp? That might meet your goals for spiritual growth, fellowship, and fun.

[Laurie4b]

Hm.

 

I'm rather :001_huh:. I don't believe that middle class Christian kids need to be focused on missions to inner city youth. It has a rather, um, arrogant tone that makes it seem like the mission youth are taking a trip to see another species at the zoo.

 

Can't they help at a natural disaster torn area or something that doesn't exploit struggling youth?

 

.

 

There has really been a sea-change in how missions are done in the last 10 years or so. While there may still be missions projects conducted in such a way that feeds the sense of "difference" between suburban and urban youth, with the suburban youth "ministering" to the "less privileged", I would no longer make the assumption that that is what is going on. The sea-change in thinking involves people of privilege being led by Christians who are indigenous to the areas of the mission, so the indigenous Christians decide what would or would not be helpful. When mission is done this way, the likelihood is that the suburban Christians come home having learned faith lessons they may not have gotten to for years if at all. When you see people who live with joy and with little else; when you see people who experience racism again and again be able to forgive again and again; when you see true community rather that "every family for itself"; when you find there are other Christian ways to approach leadership or hospitality, etc., it is lifechanging and the "missionaries" return home having been mentored. When local Christians decide what is and is not useful, the missionaries are likely to have actually contributed positively and not paternalistically as well. You also have the opportunity for suburban Christians to shed misperceptions about urban Christians and urban Christians to shed misperceptions about suburban Christians. When done well, it's a very good thing for all. I just wouldn't jump to judgment that it is arrogant or that middle class Christian kids have no need to be involved in missions to urban youth. It depends on how it's done.

[Harriet Vane]

Would you be open to considering the possibility that it would be a good thing for your daughter and for you--perhaps even God's will?

 

All of my kids have been to third world countries with my husband, two have been to a different one without him, two have done urban missions without either of us. Last year, half my family was halfway across the world in a third world country on one continent. The other half of my kids were in a third world country on another. I was not the happiest of campers (I prefer them under my watchful eye--but see below) but it was good for me and for them. I tutor in a Habitat neighborhood that is safe, but the neighborhood I drive through to get there is not. I've worked professionally and in other volunteer situations in areas that would be considered dangerous.

 

I'd suggest some areas to think about:

 

Are your fears for your dd stemming primarily from your impression that that your dd is going into an area that is generally "dangerous"? Here is my experience: "Generally" dangerous and "specifically" dangerous vary. Specifically dangerous is what you need to be concerned about. A "high crime area" is dangerous in specific ways for specific people at specific places at specific times of day. It is not necessarily dangerous for everyone within its limits. On the other hand, specific crimes can also occur in generally "low crime" areas. So if you were to tell me that the group was planning on touring a public housing complex on a Friday night, I would say that was specifically dangerous. (Weekly laborers get their checks on Fridays and have $$ for drugs and alcohol and don't have to report to work for a couple days). If, on the other hand, the group was going to be playing basketball with local youth at the neighborhood center on a Friday night, I would say that was safe.

 

People who live in areas that are "generally high crime areas" know what is and isn't safe, just as you know what is and isn't safe in your area. People who live on cul-de-sacs know that it is generally safe to let their kids play on the street; people who live in the same neighborhood, but whose road is used as a thoroughfare know not to let their kids play on the streets. Is the neighborhood safe or not? People who live in the country may not lock their doors; however, during hunting season, they may confine their kids to the house. Is the country safe or dangerous? Do you see what I mean?

 

I am guessing that your sense of your daughter's safety may be being colored by a general perception of danger that in fact isn't actually correlated with the reality.

 

To get a better grasp of the specific situation, I would ask questions of the youth pastor and someone at the organization that is sponsoring the trip. I would expect to find that they are very careful with the safety of the teens, but if you find that they are not, you would then be making your decision based on specific information rather than general impressions.

 

 

What does your dh think? Is his opinion driving yours or is yours driving his?

 

Is fear the primary motivation for your decision?

 

A pp mentioned the impact on your dd's faith. What is the relationship between protecting your children and entrusting them to God? I think every parent has to struggle with this. There have been 7 times when I've had children almost killed under my very diligent eye (involving things from black widow spiders to copperheads to potential for drowning, etc) . The last time, I was a wreck and God really spoke to me that while I was often the vessel he used to protect them, that unless He was their protector, all my efforts were in vain.

 

Here's a saying that I think is very true: The safest place to be is at the center of His will. It may well be that God's will for your daughter is to stay home, but I would weigh your perception of his will extra carefully if fear is weighing strongly into your decision. My greater concern would be how your fear for her physical safety affects her spiritual development. Reading through the Scriptures, we read about the spiritual accomplishments of children and youth, some of whom were in physical danger--others in emotionally difficult situations: Isaac, Samuel, David, Josiah, Naaman's servant girl, Mary the mother of Jesus, the child who informed Paul of the plot against him, etc. In our own time, for instance, reading the biographies of African-American children who were the first to integrate their schools, or otherwise expose themselves to danger, I find an incredible strength of character as adults. Their childhood heroism, anchored in their faith in God, had a strengthening impact on their lives. Missionary stories are also often filled with incidents in which the children were in danger and yet the parents trusted in God to take care of them. Might you be denying your daughter and yourself an opportunity to strengthen your faith?

 

:iagree: Well said.

[homeschoolally]

I believe taking underage youth to potentially dangerous areas is irresponsible

:iagree: I don't have any experience with that organization, but FWIW I have always been very uncomfortable with our youth group sending kids into neighborhoods uninvited. I just think there has to be a less intrusive way to go about ministering to people. I've been confronted about my opinion several times--told something along the lines of "the Lord will take care of them," but my kids will never go under the conditions the group chooses to go in.

 

Last year our youth group sent kids into an inner city trailer park and basically had them 'take over' the park for a few days doing VBS. If any group came in and took over my street for a week I wouldn't like it, and I'm sure a fair share of those in that community felt the same way. I think there has to be a better way to get kids out evangelizing. I love the idea of reaching the children who live there, but I don't think it is respectful to 'set up camp' in someone's backyard uninvited.

 

I think a much better alternative is setting up in a community center in the area so that those who want to be involved can come, but you aren't invading the neighborhood. You have to trust that the Lord will take care of them, but you have to use good judgement about how you represent Him also.

 

Look forward to hearing what other options there are. I'm hoping we can participate in the future and would love to bring some specific ideas to the table.

 

ETA: I lived in a rough inner-city neighborhood when I was a young adult, after growing up in a small, quiet town. This experience has shaped my perspective on this--as well as having a large, socially-driven youth group at our church. I just don't think you can throw upper-middle class kids in the middle of that environment without close adult supervision--not necessarily because the locals may be a problem, but because some--I realize not all-- teenagers can be insensitive and disrespectful. When I think about the street I lived on, I don't think the typical kid in our youth group (preppy, texting, 'cool' kid) is mature enough to handle themselves properly to be respectful to the people who live there.

 

I'm sure there are youth groups out there that could do so, but in our situation---these kids are really concerned with their hair and cell phones and I don't know that people would be able to look past that to hear their witness. Service projects may be a better alternative---but as far as getting out and witnessing through speech--I think that is a job for adults, or very exceptional teenagers.

Edited February 22, 2010 by homeschoolally

[LBC]

There has really been a sea-change in how missions are done in the last 10 years or so. While there may still be missions projects conducted in such a way that feeds the sense of "difference" between suburban and urban youth, with the suburban youth "ministering" to the "less privileged", I would no longer make the assumption that that is what is going on. The sea-change in thinking involves people of privilege being led by Christians who are indigenous to the areas of the mission, so the indigenous Christians decide what would or would not be helpful. When mission is done this way, the likelihood is that the suburban Christians come home having learned faith lessons they may not have gotten to for years if at all. When you see people who live with joy and with little else; when you see people who experience racism again and again be able to forgive again and again; when you see true community rather that "every family for itself"; when you find there are other Christian ways to approach leadership or hospitality, etc., it is lifechanging and the "missionaries" return home having been mentored. When local Christians decide what is and is not useful, the missionaries are likely to have actually contributed positively and not paternalistically as well. You also have the opportunity for suburban Christians to shed misperceptions about urban Christians and urban Christians to shed misperceptions about suburban Christians. When done well, it's a very good thing for all. I just wouldn't jump to judgment that it is arrogant or that middle class Christian kids have no need to be involved in missions to urban youth. It depends on how it's done.

 

:iagree:I'm so glad you posted this. I've been pondering this all morning, but you said it much better than I could have.:001_smile: When I was in college, I spent a summer in the inner city of San Jose, CA. It was an amazing experience for me, and I know that the kids we worked with were also impacted by some of the relationships that were built. I remember one young boy who was in foster care, and had been through something so awful that he wouldn't speak. A young man on our team started spending time with him, mostly just playing basketball, and this little boy began to heal. This was well over 20 years ago, and it makes me cry just thinking about it.

 

I know that some missions can be very unhealthy, and motives can be wrong, but that's not always the case.

 

Lori

[Angel]

We are co-leaders of the Jr/Sr High Youth in our church. Four times a year we go to a Mission downtown (inner city) in our city for a day. We do not go to evangelize, we go to help. It is an eye opening experience for them (and for me too). It also teaches that there are other ways to serve God (ours is a Gospel Mission). They do various jobs from serving food to cleaning to outside ground work. Does it ever make me uncomfortable or concerned for safety, every once in a while. Is it worth it, yes. My dd is 15 and is very sensitive, not only emotionally but sensory. It has been a good experience for her. I have even once taken my 9yo when we were working outside on the grounds (weeding, sweeping, etc).

 

Personally, as a youth leader, if our group was saving up big $$ for a trip, I would want to take them out of the country for a mission trip.

 

Can you suggest to the leaders that they turn the next trip into an out of country mission trip and that they find a mission in a close by city to work in during the year? Or are you not even comfortable with that?

 

By the way, the other 8 months of the year we do "fun" activities with our group. Four months are set aside for service. We also take one week out to take them to a Christian Camp. Does your youth group have fun activities also? I hate to be the loner here, but, MOST youth groups only do the fun stuff with no focusing on growth as a Christian. There needs to be a definite balance of both or it's just a social club.

[Beebalm]

Just checked back in and saw the many responses...thanks for your input. Sorry to the person I 'saddened'. Don't really know how I did. I still don't agree with the movement to send minors into inner city neighborhoods. Guess I'm the odd lady out here too...that's okay. I do feel that it exploits the pain/difficulty of others and puts youth into situations they aren't yet equipped for. Adults that are physically, emotionally, mentally, financially and, most importantly, spiritually mature are better equipped to truly make a difference. God has always used imperfect people to accomplish his purposes; however, he gives parents discretion and judgement regarding their children. I should not have to be convinced that my children will be okay...it should be evident to any reasonable parent. My judgement has been influenced by many things...my observation of how past youth trips have been overseen (as a chaperone/driver), my numerous family members in law enforcement and emergency services in inner city neighborhoods, the attitudes of those youth who have returned from these trips, and MANY other factors. Adult chaperones are typically college age interns or just post college friends of the youth pastor, all with no kids. Where ever my child went with this group, I'd want her to be able to fend for herself and not dependent on one of them for her physical safety. Spiritually, I want my dd's foundation to be strong, based on biblical wisdom and not on emotionalism. My kids are extremely compassionate, caring, sweet kids. There are MANY opportunities for service. Everywhere. Constantly. I don't feel God is calling me to send them somewhere where they might be hurt in any way...quite the contrary.

[Parrothead]

Just checked back in and saw the many responses...thanks for your input. Sorry to the person I 'saddened'. Don't really know how I did. I still don't agree with the movement to send minors into inner city neighborhoods. Guess I'm the odd lady out here too...that's okay. I do feel that it exploits the pain/difficulty of others and puts youth into situations they aren't yet equipped for. Adults that are physically, emotionally, mentally, financially and, most importantly, spiritually mature are better equipped to truly make a difference. God has always used imperfect people to accomplish his purposes; however, he gives parents discretion and judgement regarding their children. I should not have to be convinced that my children will be okay...it should be evident to any reasonable parent. My judgement has been influenced by many things...my observation of how past youth trips have been overseen (as a chaperone/driver), my numerous family members in law enforcement and emergency services in inner city neighborhoods, the attitudes of those youth who have returned from these trips, and MANY other factors. Adult chaperones are typically college age interns or just post college friends of the youth pastor, all with no kids. Where ever my child went with this group, I'd want her to be able to fend for herself and not dependent on one of them for her physical safety. Spiritually, I want my dd's foundation to be strong, based on biblical wisdom and not on emotionalism. My kids are extremely compassionate, caring, sweet kids. There are MANY opportunities for service. Everywhere. Constantly. I don't feel God is calling me to send them somewhere where they might be hurt in any way...quite the contrary.

:iagree:I would not send my dd on a mission as you have described.

[Elisheva]

Forgive me if I am out of line as a newbie here but...

 

I grew up in inner-city Los Angeles and saw some pretty rough stuff. But I looked at the CSM website's Los Angeles section and apparently they take the kids to SKID ROW?! Skid Row, IMO, is the kind of place that noone should get anywhere near unless they are a consenting adult who somehow KNOWS they have an individual gift/vocation for assuming the risks of working there. I've known a few people over the years who have dedicated their lives to serving difficult populations and it's truly something from above, not something you can instill on a field trip. {ETA: many of them are big men who have lived that life themselves, then found religion, but can still meet force for force if needed.}

 

I've only ever seen Skid Row from a side street for a few moments and that was enough for a lifetime. It's the kind of place where my parents wouldn't even drive through with the windows up and the car locked, even though it was close to my dad's work. Your car would get approached for drugs, prostitution, somebody begging cigarettes, somebody wanting to squeegee your windshield for money... your car would slow to a crawl as you tried to make your way through the crowd of people. An entire population living on the sidewalk, most of them suffering from untreated psychosis, doing their sex drugs and violence in the open air. It's miles beyond the danger level of even the roughest residential neighborhood. (I know because as mentioned, I lived in one of those neighborhoods.) And now I'm imagining a band of middle-class teenagers, wide-eyed, being escorted in a van, wearing matching t-shirts perhaps? Oh no no no no no.

 

I'm not saying your kid shouldn't go on some kind of trip if that's what serves your faith. But although I don't know the other cities in question, what I read about L.A. made me question the prudence of the people who are running this program. Why not find needy people close to home and commit to serving them on an ongoing basis? Frankly, seeing money get spent on long-distance travel instead of on the actual projects makes me think that the touristy, us-them aspect other posters have mentioned is still lurking in the background somewhere, even if they're not going to Mexico or the Caribbean.

Edited February 22, 2010 by Elisheva

[Beebalm]

Forgive me if I am out of line as a newbie here but...

 

I grew up in inner-city Los Angeles and saw some pretty rough stuff. But I looked at the CSM website's Los Angeles section and apparently they take the kids to SKID ROW?! Skid Row, IMO, is the kind of place that noone should get anywhere near unless they are a consenting adult who somehow KNOWS they have an individual gift/vocation for assuming the risks of working there. I've known a few people over the years who have dedicated their lives to serving difficult populations and it's truly something from above, not something you can instill on a field trip. {ETA: many of them are big men who have lived that life themselves, then found religion, but can still meet force for force if needed.}

 

I've only ever seen Skid Row from a side street for a few moments and that was enough for a lifetime. It's the kind of place where my parents wouldn't even drive through with the windows up and the car locked, even though it was close to my dad's work. Your car would get approached for drugs, prostitution, somebody begging cigarettes, somebody wanting to squeegee your windshield for money... your car would slow to a crawl as you tried to make your way through the crowd of people. An entire population living on the sidewalk, most of them suffering from untreated psychosis, doing their sex drugs and violence in the open air. It's miles beyond the danger level of even the roughest residential neighborhood. (I know because as mentioned, I lived in one of those neighborhoods.) And now I'm imagining a band of middle-class teenagers, wide-eyed, being escorted in a van, wearing matching t-shirts perhaps? Oh no no no no no.

 

I'm not saying your kid shouldn't go on some kind of trip if that's what serves your faith. But although I don't know the other cities in question, what I read about L.A. made me question the prudence of the people who are running this program. Why not find needy people close to home and commit to serving them on an ongoing basis? Frankly, seeing money get spent on long-distance travel instead of on the actual projects makes me think that the touristy, us-them aspect other posters have mentioned is still lurking in the background somewhere, even if they're not going to Mexico or the Caribbean.

 

Thanks for the last two posts....I know I'm not a nervous Nellie but sure was feeling like the lone ranger. My kids have served in impoverished neighborhoods before doing things like painting, light construction, etc. Without me. However, I can't send them somewhere that I wouldn't walk alone or (worse) attended by my lovely young daughters. Send me, my husband, or some of the guys from church, but not my kiddos.

[Starr]

I'd be more concerned about the chaperones than the neighborhood. It makes me crazy that kids all have to go out of state to find something worthwhile to do. I would think you have some inner city neighborhoods in your own area. That being said my dd is going to Peru this summer. She is going with a group including adults whom I trust and we have missionary friends in Lima as well.

[Caribbean Queen]

I grew up in inner-city Los Angeles and saw some pretty rough stuff. But I looked at the CSM website's Los Angeles section and apparently they take the kids to SKID ROW?!

 

I have known people in real life who have never been in a big city. They call anything within city limits to be "inner city" and they imagine that the entire "inner city" is like a war zone. At first I thought the OP was being a pit uptight, but now that I read more - yikes! I wonder why the other parents are going for this.

[Mergath]

I'm not a Christian, so I can't really comment on the religious aspects of such a trip, but I do know that seeing people who live in the kind of conditions that have been describe by pps changed my life for the better. I took my brother to Mexico City at one point to visit some friends- I was 21, he was 18- and seeing the kind of poverty that people live in completely opened my eyes. It's one thing to hear about poor people who have no food or water and living in cardboard shacks, but a completely different matter to see it with your own eyes. It made me realize that there's a huge world out there, full of people who don't have it anywhere near as well as I do, and that as a human being it is my responsibility to do what I can to help.

 

I also had to live in a terrible neighborhood for a couple years while I went to school, and as long as I took the proper precautions, it was fine. And this neighborhood was your typical inner city place- shootings within a few blocks of my apartment, drugs being done openly on the sidewalk, homeless people that were obviously mentally ill, prostitutes, etc. You just had to use common sense, and not go out alone in the middle of the night, don't intentionally provoke someone who looks like they might have a gun, that sort of thing. What you have to realize is that a lot of the crime being committed in places like this, the people commit against each other, not random people just walking around (unless, perhaps, you look like you're filthy rich). Druggies shoot their dealers, dealers shoot each other, pimps beat up prostitutes. Rarely did anything ever happen to some average joe just walking down the street.

 

I think the opportunity to experience a different way of life would be extremely valuable, but that's just my opinion.

[TN Mama]

I'm not familiar with CSM, but our church youth group does similar mission trips. The youth choir actually goes into homeless shelters in large cities and sings. I've heard nothing but wonderful things about the experiences from both the youth and the adults who participate.

 

My children are not of the age where this is an option for us, but I imagine it is something parents prayerfully consider before allowing. Is there an option for you to attend as a volunteer? I don't know if that would even make a difference in your opinion, but just a thought.

[petepie2]

The teens from our church went to Philadelphia via CSM last summer with another church group from our town. They all absolutely loved the experience, and this year we have a larger group wanting to go. The other church group had used CSM the year before as well. I think they went to Washington DC.

 

I can't remember many of the details, but I do know that they had a scheduled time one day of driving through certain parts of the city where they weren't allowed to get out of the van. Other places they were allowed to get out. All of the service work the teens did was set up by CSM and most of it was with all already established ministries in the area.

[PineFarmMom]

Just checked back in and saw the many responses...thanks for your input. Sorry to the person I 'saddened'. Don't really know how I did. I still don't agree with the movement to send minors into inner city neighborhoods. Guess I'm the odd lady out here too...that's okay. I do feel that it exploits the pain/difficulty of others and puts youth into situations they aren't yet equipped for. Adults that are physically, emotionally, mentally, financially and, most importantly, spiritually mature are better equipped to truly make a difference. God has always used imperfect people to accomplish his purposes; however, he gives parents discretion and judgement regarding their children. I should not have to be convinced that my children will be okay...it should be evident to any reasonable parent. My judgement has been influenced by many things...my observation of how past youth trips have been overseen (as a chaperone/driver), my numerous family members in law enforcement and emergency services in inner city neighborhoods, the attitudes of those youth who have returned from these trips, and MANY other factors. Adult chaperones are typically college age interns or just post college friends of the youth pastor, all with no kids. Where ever my child went with this group, I'd want her to be able to fend for herself and not dependent on one of them for her physical safety. Spiritually, I want my dd's foundation to be strong, based on biblical wisdom and not on emotionalism. My kids are extremely compassionate, caring, sweet kids. There are MANY opportunities for service. Everywhere. Constantly. I don't feel God is calling me to send them somewhere where they might be hurt in any way...quite the contrary.

 

Great post!! :iagree: with you! Given your descriptions, I would only think it something an adult should do, and that being one who had prayed a lot first.

[RobinF]

I do feel that it exploits the pain/difficulty of others and puts youth into situations they aren't yet equipped for. Adults that are physically, emotionally, mentally, financially and, most importantly, spiritually mature are better equipped to truly make a difference. I don't feel God is calling me to send them somewhere where they might be hurt in any way...quite the contrary.

 

You have made the decision that you feel is best for your family. I would encourage you that if you have an issue with this trip and/or the youth pastor that you would go to him and speak directly.

[swellmomma]

Maybe I am too close to inner city life here, my kids fine arts program is held in teh inner city because it is geared towards low income families. THough my neighborhood is not in the inner city you would not know that based on the gangs, drugs and violence that has touched our lives. I live in an area that is typically considered a nice area of town, so those things are not limited to the inner city at all.

 

I have taken my kids into the inner city many times to serve hot food that we have cooked, hand out sandwiches etc. Almost all programming we get access to is through inner city programs. Yes there is a seedy element, but honestly I think doing missions work in the inner city is safer than sending them off to some 3rd world country. Not everyone in the inner city is out to harm another person. 95% of them are simply people who are trapped by a cycle of poverty and need the help missions trips can offer. The other 5% are pretty bad people, BUT you can find bad people everywhere including in your own affluent circles. If I did not get the housing I did here, I would be living in the inner city right now. As long as there is proper adult supervision(which I would expect on any missions trip with minors no matter the location) I do not see the big deal in a missions trip like this. What are your specific concerns?

 

ETA: Now that I have read through the whole thread I can see concerns if they are heading into areas that even locals would not venture into like Skid row. That is a completely different situation than just working with those living in the inner city in general. It goes back to what the pp mentioned about specific dangers to be concerned about.

Edited February 23, 2010 by swellmomma

[Elisheva]

I can't remember many of the details, but I do know that they had a scheduled time one day of driving through certain parts of the city where they weren't allowed to get out of the van.

 

As a person who grew up in the inner city, I can't help but feel a little put off by this. I guess part of the idea is they would see how people who aren't as fortunate as they are live? But on the other hand it sounds like voyeurism on other people's suffering. As a formerly-poor person it makes me feel objectified. Like going on safari to see the wild animals? And what would you really learn from that anyway, other than to view those people as the untouchable Other? If that van drove down my street circa 1985 they might have seen a half-dead, irretrievably alcoholic man lying in the doorway of my building. One would probably figure that any building with THAT on its doorstep must have been some terrible crackhouse or something. What they wouldn't have seen is that every night one of the families in the building, taking turns, would send a kid down to him with a plate of food. The halls in our building were so safe and quiet that we kids constantly got in trouble with the manager if we played around and made noise in them. I wasn't the only honor student who lived there. Most of the families were devout members of a sect that mainstream Christians consider a cult. If you'd gone down there, they'd have tried to convert *you*!:)

[petepie2]

As a person who grew up in the inner city, I can't help but feel a little put off by this. I guess part of the idea is they would see how people who aren't as fortunate as they are live? But on the other hand it sounds like voyeurism on other people's suffering. As a formerly-poor person it makes me feel objectified. Like going on safari to see the wild animals? And what would you really learn from that anyway, other than to view those people as the untouchable Other? If that van drove down my street circa 1985 they might have seen a half-dead, irretrievably alcoholic man lying in the doorway of my building. One would probably figure that any building with THAT on its doorstep must have been some terrible crackhouse or something. What they wouldn't have seen is that every night one of the families in the building, taking turns, would send a kid down to him with a plate of food. The halls in our building were so safe and quiet that we kids constantly got in trouble with the manager if we played around and made noise in them. I wasn't the only honor student who lived there. Most of the families were devout members of a sect that mainstream Christians consider a cult. If you'd gone down there, they'd have tried to convert *you*!:)

 

I'm so sorry you were offended by this. That wasn't my intention, nor do I believe it is the intention of CSM. The purpose was to see the reality of life in Philly (the homeless population is out the roof) and to be compelled to pray for others. I don't presume to know the judgments the youth made in their hearts about what they saw. However, I do know that those adults that were with them don't have an "untouchable" attitude about others and would have been guiding them in ways to process what they saw. I mentioned this, though, in my post because the OP mentioned safety as one of her main concerns. I wasn't on the trip, so I don't know the specifics of why some places were deemed "safer" than others; however, the CSM staff, since they schedule the entire trip, have a responsibility to make decisions about what is safe and not safe for the teens. I think inner city mission trips are probably the safest through organizations like CSM. Those who work for CSM live in the those cities. They don't just fly in at the last minute. They're locals who have a heart for those in their own city and want to serve them.