Spinoff: If you are in your late 20's or early-mid 30's

[momtoboys]

Do you feel scared of getting older?

 

I do. Not in the sense of being "scared of dying", but more being scared of not being young anymore. I don't want to "feel" old. I don't want to have to wear older-people's clothing. I don't want to not enjoy doing really fun, active things. I see old people, and most of them sit around and watch TV all day and complain (sorry, just the truth). . and I'm afraid of becoming like THAT.

 

On the other hand, I feel blessed for each year I live, because i know some people never get these years. . .

[momtoboys]

okay, maybe it's just me! :001_smile:

[Mom-ninja.]

I feel scared because life goes so fast. I feel like if I blink I will miss something.

[dragons in the flower bed]

It's not just you. I'm 28 and starting to get concerned.

 

I'm not so much scared of being old. White hair is so beautiful. I can't wait til I have earned the right to be cranky. My grandmother has provided me with a wonderful model of old age. I watched lots of Golden Girls when I was a kid; and gosh I loved those women. I can visualize how to be 65, 75, 85.

 

What I'm worried about is being middle-aged. I'm not sure how to do it. I gather mohawks will be out of the question, but how many more years will I be able to wear an eye piercing? Will I have to branch out from jeans and T-shirts? That is, does a thirty-nine-year-old tomboy have to choose between velour jogging suits and looking like white trash? I haven't found a model for middle age that I like, at least, not one I can also get to from here. The women I idolized when I was a teen were peaceful hippie types doing farm-related unjobbing with their teens and partners. I built my life on this vision before I learned that farms and me don't go together, before I realized it wasn't fair to my loved ones to base my vocation on what my children and partner do. So who do I emulate now?

 

Also, I know I'm going to miss being a parent to little kids. I'm going to have to fight off the urge to have mid-life crisis babies. I'm not scared, exactly, but always stressing how little time I have with my babies at home.

Edited December 5, 2009 by dragons in the flower bed
I left out an "is".

[chickenpatty]

Thoughts of getting older don't make me scared, but sometimes, they do make me feel sad. I think about it when I look at my yard and realize that one day I may be too feeble to do my own yardwork. Or climb onto the washing machine to reach something on the shelf above it. Or hang Christmas lights. Or...the list goes on...

 

Then I think how I'd better treat these whippersnappers of mine well, so *they* can help me with these things when I am old. :001_smile:

 

I do look forward to the wisdom and self-assuredness (?) that can come with old age.

[Aubrey]

I may have an unusual perspective on this--all of my gr-grparents lived until they were 90ish. My gr-grandfather just passed away a couple of yrs ago--ds & dd were old enough that they will get to remember him.

 

Grand Dad (gr-grdad, but nobody ever used the "great" in his name) started painting when he was 80. He tried to teach me to waltz when he was 90. Until about a yr before he died, he still mowed the yard, gardened, painted, and built furniture for the kids. Things hurt him, sure, but he'd rather tell old stories than talk about stuff that hurt. And his stories were amazing. I could bore you for hours w/ retellings that aren't half as good. ;)

 

So 40? Oh my gosh--that's not even the halfway mark here! :001_smile: I thought 30 would be really, completely beautiful--it was a little scary because of our life circumstances, but I still expect this decade to be way better than the last, which I mostly spent pg, finishing school, & figuring out who to be.

 

I'd never admit this irl, but I expect 40 to be...sexy, for some reason. :lol: Maybe I'll finally have shed enough inhibition for that to be poss? :w00t:

 

And old people clothes--imagine getting to shop for comfort & your own taste instead of everybody else's? You can be stuck in 1982 for.ev.er. if you want to. I think I'll pick a different yr, but that's absolutely what I plan to do! :D (You'd think I was doing that *now* by how I dress, but just wait. I don't care what Mom said when I was a kid, I WILL wear pink & orange together! I've just worked up to pink & red.)

[LibraryLover]

Time flies, it's true! It simply does.

 

I don't worry (I am over 40), but my mother is a major worrier. She frets all the time about ageing, and it's rather exhausting. It started when she was about 28 or so. She would pull the corner of her eyes up etc. I used to watch her in the mirror and think "She's crazy" lol , and I was so little. I think some people worry much more than others. My mother looks awesome and is very active, plus she's had 'work done'. Soon, she will look like my little sister. :D

 

All my friends think she had me supah-young. :auto:

[Jenny in Atl]

Age is totally a mind set... I maybe 44 (and yes, physically I often feel it) but mentally, I'm still in my early 20's, at most. It's like that part of me is frozen in time.

[AmeliaJade]

I really dislike the notion that as one ages there are certain rules dictating how they must dress, act, which music they're allowed to listen to. I am not aware of some magical switch that gets flipped at a specific age that says you can no longer wear the clothes you enjoy wearing and must now switch to polyester pants suits and orthopedic shoes.

 

I'm am 35. Up until my youngest was born (almost 3 years ago) I had 17 piercings. I still wear my hair in wild colors. It is currently black and purple. My favorite clothing is jeans, a hoodie, a tee (usually with a goofy saying) and my converse shoes. I'm quite aware that people think I don't dress my age. But you know what...I don't care. I don't even know what that means. What does it mean to dress your age?

 

I've also had someone make the asinine comment that I'm too old for the music I listen to. What? I'm sorry but I listened to Metallica and Nine Inch Nails in college. Did I miss the memo that stated I'm no longer allowed to listen to them because I'm "old"? Hello...the members of Metallica are older than I am. They're still playin so I can still listen. Right?

 

I am not afraid of 40 at all because I still feel 18. I'm well aware that I'm not 18. I'm married. I'm a mom. I am a responsible adult but being a responsible adult does not equate to having a stick up ones bum. I feel sorry for anyone who changes who they are just to fit some notion of what society feels is "age appropriate". What a useless way to go through life.

[Aubrey]

I really dislike the notion that as one ages there are certain rules dictating how they must dress, act, which music they're allowed to listen to. I am not aware of some magical switch that gets flipped at a specific age that says you can no longer wear the clothes you enjoy wearing and must now switch to polyester pants suits and orthopedic shoes.

 

I'm am 35. Up until my youngest was born (almost 3 years ago) I had 17 piercings. I still wear my hair in wild colors. It is currently black and purple. My favorite clothing is jeans, a hoodie, a tee (usually with a goofy saying) and my converse shoes. I'm quite aware that people think I don't dress my age. But you know what...I don't care. I don't even know what that means. What does it mean to dress your age?

 

I've also had someone make the asinine comment that I'm too old for the music I listen to. What? I'm sorry but I listened to Metallica and Nine Inch Nails in college. Did I miss the memo that stated I'm no longer allowed to listen to them because I'm "old"? Hello...the members of Metallica are older than I am. They're still playin so I can still listen. Right?

 

I am not afraid of 40 at all because I still feel 18. I'm well aware that I'm not 18. I'm married. I'm a mom. I am a responsible adult but being a responsible adult does not equate to having a stick up ones bum. I feel sorry for anyone who changes who they are just to fit some notion of what society feels is "age appropriate". What a useless way to go through life.

 

LOL--I guess I actually feel the same way, but from the opposite side of things. People complained when I was in highschool that I acted 40. I listened to music "too old" for my mom, liked to dress in tailored suits, etc., & just generally didn't fit in. Maybe that's why I'm looking fwd to 40? Some kind of magical permission to be myself? Hmm...not that I'm looking fwd to it exactly...just...not afraid of it.

 

The only thing I fear is wasting the time I have between now & then.

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

I'm not scared of aging as far as how I look, and I always thought that my 40s would be my best decade, but it is getting to the point where I don't know anyone in their 40s or 50s who feels well. Almost everyone is dealing with some sort of health problem. That is definitely where my fear kicks in. I'm happy about all the things I'm learning and looking forward to learning new things, reading, traveling, doing stuff with my kids as they get older (playing more games, etc.). I'm surrounded by wonderful family, love my dh... life is good. But, by golly, I want to FEEL well, too. I don't ask for much, do I? :)

Edited December 5, 2009 by Heidi @ Mt Hope

[IsabelC]

I'm not so much scared as, well, surprised :glare:

I keep on expecting that one day I will actually FEEL 'grown up', but here I am closer to 40 than 30 and I still feel like a little girl who is pretending to be a 'proper' adult :lol:

[AmeliaJade]

Aubrey--there is nothing wrong with that at all. I think that is the point. We should all just do what makes us comfortable. We should be able to like what we like regardless of age.

 

By the way--I listen to all kinds of music but it just really irks me when someone tells me I'm too "old" for certain bands. But I've also gotten shocked looks or comments when I break out "America" or Neil Diamond. I always get the "aren't they a little before your time?" :)

[Aubrey]

Aubrey--there is nothing wrong with that at all. I think that is the point. We should all just do what makes us comfortable. We should be able to like what we like regardless of age.

 

By the way--I listen to all kinds of music but it just really irks me when someone tells me I'm too "old" for certain bands. But I've also gotten shocked looks or comments when I break out "America" or Neil Diamond. I always get the "aren't they a little before your time?" :)

 

I love Neil Diamond! Much to dh's chagrin. ;)

 

Yep--I don't like being mis-pigeon-holed by my age or anything else. Lately, I'm dealing more w/ gender/profession issues, but I guess it's always something, huh? :001_smile:

[Tree House Academy]

LOL - I don't worry about what you worry about. I am 30 and I do think about how fast life goes by. I do worry about dying because I know each day is a gift and we never know how long we have to see our kids grow up. I worry about my dh getting older, our health and such.

 

I also think about how it seems like yesterday that my mom was my age and I was a little girl. Now my mom is 60. Where did the time go? I fear losing my mom as I age - losing dh's mom. I think about those type things.

 

...But "wearing older-people clothes"...um...no. That doesn't bother me. I don't intend to dress like a granny at 45 or anything. Jeans and a sweatshirt work the same at 50 as they did at 25, IMO.

[Aubrey]

LOL - I don't worry about what you worry about. I am 30 and I do think about how fast life goes by. I do worry about dying because I know each day is a gift and we never know how long we have to see our kids grow up. I worry about my dh getting older, our health and such.

 

I also think about how it seems like yesterday that my mom was my age and I was a little girl. Now my mom is 60. Where did the time go? I fear losing my mom as I age - losing dh's mom. I think about those type things.

 

...But "wearing older-people clothes"...um...no. That doesn't bother me. I don't intend to dress like a granny at 45 or anything. Jeans and a sweatshirt work the same at 50 as they did at 25, IMO.

 

Yeah--although my greats lived so long, Dad died when he was 49. If I go that route, life is more than 1/2 over. That makes me want to live life hard & fast. I've got SO much to do if there are less than 20 yrs left to do it in.

 

But I'm not dying at 49. The fact that Dad did sometimes makes me want to kick him. Poor guy.

[caitlinsmom]

 

I'd never admit this irl, but I expect 40 to be...sexy, for some reason. :lol: Maybe I'll finally have shed enough inhibition for that to be poss? :w00t:

 

 

This is my thought exactly! :) I tell my husband all the time "You just wait till I'm 40, things are going to get interesting!"

 

Its the 30's that baffle me. I have no idea how to do that one. I have a bunch of friends who are all in their 30's and they seem, for lack of a better word, cool. Their kids are older than mine so they actually drive clean newer cars, they have nice clothes, they are charming and so on and so on. I on the other hand am 28 and still feel like a bumbling 14yo!! I even shock myself with some of the stupidity that comes out of my mouth. (I must be wiser because at least now I know its stuipidity!)

 

No matter what I want to greet my aging self with open arms, but I have a feeling that will be much easier said than done for me. I just keep waiting to feel older, but I dont. That is good news to me!

[jujsky]

Do you feel scared of getting older?

 

I do. Not in the sense of being "scared of dying", but more being scared of not being young anymore. I don't want to "feel" old. I don't want to have to wear older-people's clothing. I don't want to not enjoy doing really fun, active things. I see old people, and most of them sit around and watch TV all day and complain (sorry, just the truth). . and I'm afraid of becoming like THAT.

 

On the other hand, I feel blessed for each year I live, because i know some people never get these years. . .

 

Yes! With me, it's more a fear of looking old though.

[Sputterduck]

Yes. I'm terrified. I'm 29 and a half as of yesterday. :(

 

But then again, I cried when I turned 10. I have never wanted to get older.

[anniemary]

I agree with Jenny, age is totally a mind set. I, too, am 44 and mentally feel more like 34. Physically, I feel I'm falling apart some, but that's my own fault for not exercising. The only thing I'm sad about is that it appears I'm too old to have another child with my new husband. We have a one year old with special needs and mis-carried this summer. I'm sad that my child-bearing years may be over--I love being pregnant.

 

Oh, and re: the clothes thing. Yes, there was a time when it was hard to find clothes that were age appropriate but didn't feel frumpy. I think the clothing industry finally figured out that 40 was the new 30 and has done better.

[swellmomma]

Yes. NOt in the worries about actual age or physical stuff or anything. More like "What will I be when I grow up" type of worry. Staring with kids so young means I never had to figure all that out. Soon enough the kids will be grown and on their own and then what? My entire life is tehkids, my entire income is based on the kids etc. My worries lately about getting old are more like what will I do for work, will I ever save enough starting late in a career for retirement, how will I provide for myself when the kids are gone etc.

 

I am 32 right now, In 7 years my income will drop by almost 3/4. I have been pondering this a lot lately so that I can take the necessary steps to safe guard myself and my younger children when the olders hit 18.

 

I don't think I will worry about the physical act of growing older until I have passed my 40th-50th b-day then it might hit me harder than it does now.

[Bev in B'ville]

Getting older beats the alternative.

[Soph the vet]

Getting older beats the alternative.

:lol::lol::lol:

I am 42 and mentally I am 26. I still do all the things I did then, just not as often because I have three dc. I still play sports, I wear jeans, I don't wear make-up...yet. I am aware that my choices of activity have more consequences than they used to (sore muscles, etc.) but I don't think I'm that different from my 20's. And I expect the 50's to be this way too. ;)

[nono]

Yes! With me, it's more a fear of looking old though.

 

But maybe you won't! At my last race, I was picking up my bib number and the girl took it back from me and said, "Oh, we must have gotten your age wrong." I looked at her, and she said, "We have you as 45." I said, "I am." She looked shocked and said, "I wouldn't have thought you were older than me," Turns out she was 34.

 

P.S. Wish I had let her change my age....I'd have come in first place in the F30-34 age group, where in my age group, F45-49, I came in 6th! This happens all the time at races. So, if you want to feel better when you get older, start doing some distance running. Most of the youngsters are way slower than us old folks! :tongue_smilie:

[JudoMom]

Do you feel scared of getting older?

 

I do. Not in the sense of being "scared of dying", but more being scared of not being young anymore. I don't want to "feel" old. I don't want to have to wear older-people's clothing. I don't want to not enjoy doing really fun, active things. I see old people, and most of them sit around and watch TV all day and complain (sorry, just the truth). . and I'm afraid of becoming like THAT.

 

On the other hand, I feel blessed for each year I live, because i know some people never get these years. . .

 

Nope.

 

I spent my 20s fat, sedentary, and with a lot of emotional baggage. I cleaned myself up at 30 and don't plan on living like that again. I plan on being one of those active old people--maybe by then I'll finally reach my goal of running a 5K or even teaching Judo at that point :001_smile:.

[kmacnchs]

I just turned 27 and I still feel like I just graduated college and high school - then I get a rude awakening that someone who was always 7 in my mind is graduating college - it makes me then realize how old I am (b/c I generally don't think about it).

 

An older couple in our church just invited "young married couples" over to their house so they could counsel us/have a Bible study/etc. about the importance of a godly marriage. All well and good but we were almost not invited!!! I AM YOUNG!!! We concluded that they did not think of us as such b/c the other couples are all newly married (even though the same age) and we have 3 kids but I felt like the whole night long I wanted to say "I'm the same age as so-and-so!"

 

I never really thought of my age until this happened...:glare:

[fivetails]

Do you feel scared of getting older?

 

 

 

Yes, especially these days. It wasn't so bad when I was in my 20s, but now I'm 32 and... yes.

 

[it feels like time is running away.]

[Nestof3]

I don't feel worried or anything, but I definitely feel much older at 37, and I'm not liking it. I too don't look forward to barely moving around, etc. in the far-off future. I don't like the wrinkles and just not looking youthful. I was also so very fit when in my mid 20's. I ate very healthy and exercised daily.

 

I am trying to get fit because I think this will help a lot. I just don't want to have a lot of extra weight to carry around as it leads to other issues when older. My brother runs marathons (and ultra-marathons), and he runs with men in their 70s. I think the health of a person when older depends largely on how they treat their bodies when younger. So, I'm tyring.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Well, I'm less than 3 years from turning 40 and I'm fascinated at how often I feel like I'm still just stumbling along and figuring it all out! I have 3 boys (one is a teenager), own my own business, homeschool and just realized a couple of days ago that it's been 21 years (!!!) since I was 16. There's no way it's been that long!

 

I will say this; the 30s have been GREAT! Much better than my 20s. In my 20's I was still trying to figure it all out. I have much more confidence in myself in my 30's and I truly expect it to get even better in my 40's. I'm not crazy about hitting my 40's but I really expect it to be great.

 

By the way, I love wearing cool shoes, shapely trendy tops and great jeans. I remind my husband (who is very fashion aware) to be sure and tell me if I ever look like that nearly 40 year old lady that's looking desperate to hang on to her early 20's. :) I definitely don't want to be that one, but that's just me. The key word is the desperate part. I like looking cool. LOL

[ConnieB]

I don't want to not enjoy doing really fun, active things. I see old people, and most of them sit around and watch TV all day and complain (sorry, just the truth). . and I'm afraid of becoming like THAT.

 

.

 

 

Well, I'm basically double that age range, lol....and I really think it's about how you decide to live your life as you age. I know quite a few, probably more than a few actually, "old" folks just like this....getting their hair done is a big outing, otherwise they sit around the house puttering or I'm not sure what. I know one very mentally capable woman pushing but not yet 60 who gets her hair done every Monday, spends Tuesday deciding where she and several friends will dine on Wednesday and is so physically exhausted from that luncheon that on Thursday she naps at least once! Heaven help me if my entire week is ever that empty, lol.

 

Now, that's not to say that I'm still as spry as when I was in my 20s.....but I'm not ready for the rocking chair yet either.

 

You may want to print your post out and place it where you can read it often....so that when you decide that you don't want to go on that hike with the kids, or you'll sit on the bench while they play instead of joining in that you can remind yourself to push a little to stay active and involved. I think complacency certainly is the downfall. I wish I had stayed a little more active as the kids have gotten older instead of letting them play outside while I do more sedate indoor things. I can't say I conciously made such a decision, but it has definitely moved in that direction. Thinking back I think it had more to do with their early years so much just fell by the wayside and being with them took precedence. Not a bad thing, of course. But now that they don't need supervision to play, I don't provide it in the form of joining in...instead I shoo them outside and do a lot more scratch cooking and a lot less convenience cooking.....the house is certainly better decorated (or course income as you age helps this too!) and better kept because there are more of us doing it.....and I spend time on this and other boards which I never did when the kids were awake when they were younger.

 

It takes a concious effort to not let a few extra pounds, or a few less active playtimes with the kids, or more insolation as life gets busier make permanent changes in your habits. If you can remind yourself every year to make changes if these creep in then you should be much better prepared to not live your life around a weekly luncheon with friends.