does anyone homeschool an only?

[mom2denj]

I actually have 3 children. A 16 yr old who is in public high school. A 12 yr old that is at home (7th grade). Also a 3 yr old. I am wondering about my 3 yr old. My dd 12 will go to public hs. This leaves my youngest home by herself. I worry about this. I am wondering what your experience is like. I, of course will look for a hs group, perhaps a coop. I am not sure how to ask about this without being offensive (which I am not trying to be) I really believe homeschool is the best way, but she is already asking to go to school like her friends and she is asking daily to go play at school like her friend Haylie. I am just wondering what your thoughts are and maybe a little bit about what your week is like. I hope this makes some sense.

 

I guess I am looking for advice as well as experience with an only.

Edited November 10, 2009 by mom2denj

[Cedarmom]

My son is an only. I have home schooled him K-12th. When he was younger, he had friends in the nieghborhood to play with. I also invited friends over to play with him. There were times when he wished he had more friends, but for the most part it went well. As far as wanting to be in school, I always pointed out how much longer school kids were in school then he was. Being an only, it was easy to day school in the morning and reserve the afternoon for play.

[TammyinTN]

I have only one left to homeschool. He's 11 and in 6th grade. He has a 22 year old sis working in Kuwait and a 19 year old sis who works full-time during the day. He has two friends in our stairwell and they play every afternoon from 3pm until 6pm. He loves being homeschooled and doesn't want to go to ps.

[OnTheBrink]

I only have my daughter left to homeschool. My son is in college and working.

 

Because of the visitation schedule with her father, she only has a 4 day school week, so, I divide a week's worth of assignments into 4 days, with Monday having the heaviest work load (Tuesday she has riding lessons, Wednesday is church, Thursday is music class).

 

We get started around 9 and on a good day, stop around 1 or 2. She has an assignment sheet with check boxes and she's responsible for getting it all done. I'm available for help, but for the most part, she takes care of her work herself.

[asta]

It really depends on your kid, IMO.

 

I started HSing kid when he would have been in 4th grade. He isn't a social butterfly, and never has been. He has always been a "one friend" kind of kid. He excelled in a very regimented private school and an even more regimented public European school, but floundered badly in a poorly organized American public school. He does extremely well when things are organized, there are few distractions, and he can take the time to really "do" a subject.

 

None of this means he is "anti-social" - he just doesn't thrive on it, if that makes any sense. I have met some kids who are seemingly physically and emotionally incapable of "doing school" unless they have a "social component" to every single aspect of it (seeing friends in class, seeing them between class, doing extra-curriculars with a particular set of friends after school, going to sport activities with same, etc.). I have met other kids who are fine with either just the academic aspect of school or with kind of "gliding" through the various social groups (eg: can take them or leave them). My kid would fall into the latter. He is an aspie and tends to have to "fake" a lot of social niceties anyway.

 

Anywho... only you really know your kid. If it will be distracting and an emotional tug o war between the two of you for them to be home with you for the majority of the time (because, even with co-ops and extra classes, you will still be the majority), you may want to reassess.

 

As I mentioned, we have a pretty regimented list of things we do (even if our discussions run off on tangents), we take breaks to take advantage of dad being home (he travels often), and we try to maintain a balance between heavy and light book learning and more kinesthetic and visual things like hands on activities and also DVDs.

 

HTH

 

 

a

[KarenNC]

I have an only, very social daughter. She went to preschool from age 2.5 to 4 and it was a great experience (2 half days at 2, 3 half days at 3, 4 half days at 4). She really benefited from the chance to play with the other kids, as she had no siblings and no kids in the neighborhood. I really benefited from having some space for myself. It was a socially oriented preschool rather than an academically oriented one.

 

We then hsed from K on (now in 4th). Although we moved into a neighborhood with a lot of kids, she doesn't have friends in the neighborhood (though she did meet some kids through swim team this summer). She has been served best by our hs group. It's not a co-op, we get together for a regular park day weekly, field trips and other activities. I also have put her in various groups (classes at the library, pe classes, martial arts, Sunday school, summer day camps, etc) as she has gotten older so that she has some time independent of me and a chance to work under a variety of instructors.

 

For a young one, I wouldn't look at a co-op. She's going to likely do better with lots of opportunities for free play, not structured classes. For us, it has been the weekly interaction with the same families that has led to satisfying friendships. Consider a mom's group where the kids have time to play, meet at the park for playdates, etc.

 

Our first year was a bit rough as she was used to going and playing at preschool half a day 4 days a week. We kept busy with going to the park, going to fun places frequently for field trips, anything appropriate for her age at the library, etc. We dealt with "big yellow bus envy" by going on a field trip with the local 4H where the kids got to ride a school bus to go see various things like the police dept, fire dept, EMS. Kindergarten was lots of fun unit studies about whatever interested her (along with the basics of reading and math). That has progressed to working 9-12 most mornings, sometimes going after lunch, with afternoons for other activities depending on which day of the week or month it is---some things are weekly, some monthly (Lego robotics league team, pe classes, park day, Girl Scouts, library classes, reading club, writing club, field trips, community service, etc).

[Scarlett]

Mom of an only here. Our world is fine. So busy we can barely breathe.

 

I don't think he has ever really wanted to go to public school.

 

Our week is very busy. Mon-Thursday swim and after swim on Thursday we have piano and then religious services. We usually only make 3 of the 4 swim classes. We do K-12 through a VA, but he is not independent in much. I have to stick to him like white on rice to keep him focused most days. He gets his freedom usually by 2. He could get it done much earlier if he didn't dawdle....or if I would get off message boards and actually start school. :tongue_smilie:

[mrscopterdoc]

I homeschool an only. She went to private school until 5th grade and we have homeschooled since. Being military and moving a lot, we are always having to make new friends. That has been a challenge since she is somewhat of a loner and "one best friend" kind of kid.

 

We always try to find a homeschool group or co-op, she goes to youth group at church and she was always in sports. Now that she is in high school she has trimmed that down to just one sport, Taekwondo. There are also kids in the neighborhood, kids of my friends etc. There is plenty of opportunity for "socialization" :tongue_smilie:. Homeschooling has been the best thing for us. I think you just have to find what works for you.

 

As for our day....mornings are in PJ's unless we have to be somewhere. :D I have finally 'relaxed' about school work and English does not have to be done at 9AM. There are times when we do 3 days worth of English in one sitting. :blink: Some days all school is done by lunch and some days she is still working at 8PM. As long as we are roughly on target, she understands it, and we are both happy, life is good.

[hillfarm]

I'm homeschooling an 11yo dd who has never been to ps. Once I made her understand that there wasn't nearly as much play time at ps as she imagined, that most of the time they were supposed to be sitting quietly at their desks either paying attention to the teacher or completing their work, she soon realized that she actually had a pretty good deal at home.

 

That said, I have worked extra hard to be sure she had one or two play dates or club interactions each week plus church activities. No, she hasn't had the amounts of interaction that most ps kids get, but she has had plenty. Dh's brother is a psychologist in the ps system in a neighboring state. He often comments about how well adjusted and sociable dd is, so I guess we haven't ruined her too much.

 

Perhaps if you were to practice ps your child might get a more accurate impression of it. Getting up early enough to catch a bus. Sitting at a desk. Bathroom breaks at scheduled times. Only so many minutes for lunch and recess. Back to the desk, and dismissal at the regular ps time. For us, reality cast a totally different light on her fantasy of ps being a fun place to play and hang out all day long.

[astrid]

Hi there,

I'm a homeschooling mom to an only, dd 12 who is in 7th grade. Molly attended public school from K-most of 2nd grade, and then we pulled her out to homeschool her.

 

She retained most of her friends from public school, though some fell by the wayside. We never did hook up with a co-op or homeschool group. There are not many around our neck of the woods (northwest Connecticut) and although we are Christian, we do not homeschool for religious reasons and use entirely secular curriculum. We tried a couple of groups, but to be honest, the Christian homeschooling groups were never very welcoming to us, and we didn't fit with the Unschooler crowd either because Molly's curriculum is pretty rigorous and we don't "unschool." In addition, once Molly got to be in 5th grade, we decided that we'd like to have her participate in public school band and choir, if that would be possible. We met with the Superintendent of our little district who thought it was a great idea, and so for the past three years, Molly has been going to school once a day for band or choir rehearsal. So that helped reinforce some of the great friendships with other kids who share the same interestes (music, etc.)

 

We're also kind of a unique situation because I work part time during the day teaching adult education and doing some educational consulting work for the State of Connecticut in the area of Adult Education. My mom lives with us and is retired, so she takes on a lot of the day-to-day supervision of Molly's studies, though honestly, Molly's pretty darn self-motivated and organized, so my mom is really just there more for moral support.

 

Our week looks something like this:

Sunday: I plan the lessons for the week. Molly and I sit down and look at her progress, look at her materials, and plan out lessons for M-Th. in each subject: math (teaching texbooks with other supplemental materials) literature (Lightning Literature) Grammar (Analytical Grammar) History (The Story of Us) Latin (Cambridge Latin II) and Science (Prentice Hall Science Explorer)

 

Monday-Thursday: Molly follows the plan book and gets her work done in between running back and forth to the middle school, which is located right across the street from our house. Some afternoons I'm home, others I'm in my office in Hartford, but I keep in touch via email and telephone. If there's a tough math problem or concept to review we tackle it together after dinner, or mom helps her during the day. My mom also had six years of Latin, so I don't even worry my head about that--- it's her baby! :-)

 

We don't have school on Friday, typically. I'm off that day, and Molly and I often go to a museum or do something fun. Quite often, we're traveling on Fridays to a weekend dog show, as we're a dog show family. Right now, we're trying to push ahead further in math, so lately Molly has been doing a bit of math on Fridays. Dh is in charge of Phys. Ed, and they ski a lot during the winter, dh coaches her softball team, and Molly runs about 2 miles per day either outside when weather permits or on the treadmill.

 

Our plan has always been to put Molly back into public school for high school. We pulled her originally because of the decimation that occurred in our town's school system as a result of the one-two punch of the No Child Left Behind legislation-- unfunded mandates that our small, blue-collar town just couldn't sustain, and the drastic drop support for the schools that took place when a very active Taxpayer's Association won a majority of seats on our Board of Education and Board of Selectmen. Fortunately, the high school in our town is a privately-endowed "semi-private" school that is governed by a Board of Trustees, and thus is not subjected to the devastation that our poor K-8 system deals with year after year.

 

So that's it in a nutshell-- not sure if you'll find it remotely helpful or the least bit interesting, but nonetheless....that's our life!

 

astrid

[elegantlion]

I have an only and he's been homeschooled sinced first grade. We love it, he loves it. He's doesn't crave a ton of social interaction and we participate in 1-2 activities at a time. Right now it's 4H.

 

Since he doesn't have any siblings he's used to just hanging out with mom and dad. My dh is very involved with him. Homeschooling allows us to be flexible with our schedule, my husband is self-employed, and he will go to work with dh from time to time.

 

For schooling I love the bonding time we have. I know we have a much better relationship because of homeschooling.

[Scarlett]

I have an only and he's been homeschooled sinced first grade. We love it, he loves it. He's doesn't crave a ton of social interaction and we participate in 1-2 activities at a time. Right now it's 4H.

 

Since he doesn't have any siblings he's used to just hanging out with mom and dad. My dh is very involved with him. Homeschooling allows us to be flexible with our schedule, my husband is self-employed, and he will go to work with dh from time to time.

 

For schooling I love the bonding time we have. I know we have a much better relationship because of homeschooling.

 

We do too. I honestly have no idea how public school kids function....ds9 slept until 10 this morning! The school bus passes by our front door at 6:50 a.m.!!!!!

[elegantlion]

We do too. I honestly have no idea how public school kids function....ds9 slept until 10 this morning! The school bus passes by our front door at 6:50 a.m.!!!!!

 

Exactly! My ds claims to be a morning person, just had that discussion this week. However, getting him out of the house to do anything in the morning is like pulling teeth. Now I'm not a morning person at all so it's never an issue unless he's going somewhere with his dad.

[Audrey]

I have an only. He has never expressed any interested in ps. He has friends in 4-H and soccer. He's starting curling, so there's another avenue for friends. He likes sleeping late, running around our farmyard all morning, having lessons after lunch and still being done before the school bus drives past our lane.

[MaMa2005]

I am homeschooling an only. He loves it. Our week is very full. Monday is homeschool, Tuesday are homeschool classes at a local church, Wednesday is homeschool with co-op in the afternoon, Thursday is homeschool and a couple hours at the library and Friday is homeschool. We usually have a very full weekend and he is often saying on Sunday evening that he is glad Monday is coming so he can slow down :glare:.

 

Homeschool works for my husband's schedule, too. He is a university professor so we work on a university schedule. When DH has his breaks, we are usually traveling overseas. Our local PS wasn't too pleased when I talked to them about traveling on school days. The public school policy is to un-enroll him while we are gone (so that we don't come to the attention of DFCS) and then re-enroll him when we come home with no guarantee that he would go back to the same teacher.

 

DS is very mature and can hold his own around adults. He has never seemed to miss lots of interaction with his peers and rarely asks about playdates/playtime.

[mom2denj]

Thanks so much for all of your responses and for taking the time to tell me about your school days! It helps to know that others are doing this successfully!:)

[s.z.ichigo]

I homeschool an only as well. She goes to a very low-population story-time on Sundays and just started Tae Kwon Do two days a week, plus occasional trips to the playground where she's always very confident and sociable, so we're not anti-social. But that's the extent of our social outings and we're alright. We're very laid-back and don't do much running around.

[Tam101]

I'm only homeschooling my son. My daughter is in college (she went to ps FWIW). It's like having two only children except that they still have each other and adore each other.

 

Our week: We do school Sat, Mon, Tue, Wed. On Thurs and Fri he attends a parent partnership school that our school district offers. There is a part of me would like to get out from under that because it's time consuming, but my son loves going. It does give him time to be with other kids and they offer some really fun classes. He also has bible study with my MIL and piano lessons on Wed and will be starting basketball soon. I guess it's pretty normal and typical, except there's just one! :lol:

[Tam101]

We do too. I honestly have no idea how public school kids function....ds9 slept until 10 this morning! The school bus passes by our front door at 6:50 a.m.!!!!!

 

 

Ditto, 8:30 is an early day for my 8-year old. It's not unusually for him to sleep until 10. He goes to bed at 9 and reads, sometimes later then I realize!

[kalanamak]

I have an only. He plays in the morning or helps Papa with chores, does a variety of sports in the early afternoon, and I start school at 4ish, 3 or 4 weekdays. I do nearly every subject both Sat and Sun. Mon and Fri he has two hours of homeschool gym, swimming and ball games, etc. Sat and Sun (this fall) he goes to the rollerrink where he is getting to know the regulars. 6 times a year he goes up to the symphony and dresses up (it is a kiddy thing and many children are decked out). He loves to dress up. 9 Saturdays a year he goes to a hands on science class and sometimes to a free hands on art drop in site.

 

Once a year I send him and hubby on a long field trip. They like to camp, too. I think it really helps that hubby is a kid at heart and rides a unicycle, rollerblades, skateboards, bikes, skies, sails, etc. Kiddo is social, and seems to like to play with everyone from 2 to 90, and very outdoorsy, so the evening schoolwork fits both him and my work hours.

 

I believe we are being successful in our bookwork and socialization. I think the biggest problem has been the fact I know so little about children, I worry a bit too much, but as he gets older and we have more in common, I "understand" him better.

 

If I can do it, you can do it. And you have all of us to lean on!

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I use a public cyber school at home for my only ds 7:) I am an older mom so I work hard to try and meet other moms with kids his age. I have him involved in a weekly, all-day home school co-op which is a god-send IMHO since there are about 7 kids his age and classes with other teachers. I also keep him involved in many extracurricular activities such as boy scouts, soccer, children's library events, choir, etc. His school also has field trips as well on a regular basis.

 

He seems happy and does not ask to go to school. We did try a private and public school for pre-school and part of Kindergarten. I school at home for secular reasons in that I think the local schools cannot offer the caliber of academics that is afforded him presently:) he also had trouble focusing in school and has multiple food allergies which also led me here, but now that we are doing this, I believe that homeschooling and public cyber schooling are great options.

[Scarlett]

I homeschooled my "only" from grades 2-8. You have probably received other advice on this, but I will add this: Every. Single. Mistake. I ever made was made by worrying about the "only" issue. Fortunately, the mistakes were easily amended. My point is that this is not a good basis for making decisions about homeschool or most other parent issues.

 

PJ, this is fabulous advice. Thank you. I think it would be similiar to asking, 'I only have girls. Will they be able to related to boys?' Or some such.