I own too much cr*p

[swellmomma]

So I have been decluttering like crazy for the last week or so. I rented a dumpster and have been happily filling it up, taking loads to the good will etc. Yet I am still swimming in STUFF. I have to get rid of around 80% of our belongings before August in order to afford our cross country move. I am not a pack rat per se, but am very attached to my things, even those things that have been in storage for years. Once things are decluttered on the main floor and upper floor(did the initial decluttering of the basement), I plan to head back for the basement and start again, working my way through each room over and over each month a little at a time. Even with that plan and the amount I already got out of the house, it feels like there is no end in sight and that I will never make my goal.

 

I went as far as to get a ballpark quote from a moving company today, to see what it would cost me to take a "normal" amount of furniture/stuff in this move. To have a company drive it all there for me. Yeah it was nearly $10,000. I can buy new stuff for that. If I condense enough to get a uhaul trailer it will cost less than $1000, to tow it all there and I can buy new stuff once there. But just the thought of getting out from under all this stuff is leaving me scared stiff. I have 10 months to get this done, but still feel like that won't be enough time, because there is just too much.

 

Those that have managed to considerably downsize, how did you over come your attachments to stuff in your house? How did you go about getting it out, without a blind panic of thoughts of actually "needing" said items (even if you haven't actually used them in years)?

[Luanne]

...

Edited October 29, 2009 by Luanne

[Aubrey]

If you can, use your phone-a-friend feature. Someone who has no qualms laughing at you for keeping your great-grandmother's ugly toilet paper holder. Or, um, whatever *your* hangup is. ;)

 

Maybe list the big stuff on Craig's List, & save the cash, as an incentive.

 

Anything that's not expensive to replace, has no sentimental value, & is fun to shop for. (See how turning it around like that can help?)

 

Browse Craig's List for fun. Things that you're having a hard time parting with, look to see what your alternatives might be (in the city you're moving to). Sometimes the grass is *greener.* Iow, parting with a great table might be excruciating...until you see the better ones that are for sale at prices that make your jaw drop.

 

Or maybe you have really nice furniture & none of this applies, lol. Mine was all garage sale to begin with, so it was a lot more easy-come, easy-go.

[Rosie_0801]

The idea would distress me too! I guess now is a good time to throw away all those things you felt obliged to keep in case your Mum or someone noticed you threw them away. You have a good excuse now! I think your plan in working through in cycles is a good one. I bet it'll get easier each time, as you get into the swing of it.

 

Good luck :)

Rosie

[MariannNOVA]

Those that have managed to considerably downsize, how did you over come your attachments to stuff in your house? How did you go about getting it out, without a blind panic of thoughts of actually "needing" said items (even if you haven't actually used them in years)?

 

 

With item in hand, if you look at it for more than three seconds deciding what to do with it, it gets tossed. The stuff you want, you know immediately and you almost with automatic reflex put in the KEEP pile. The stuff you have to think about -- well, look at it, reminisce quickly, say good-bye,, and toss it. :001_smile:

 

And, having a disinterested third party (I had a friend there) helps -- we tripped down memory lane together and then she would take it out of my hand and toss it.

Edited October 29, 2009 by MariannNOVA

[Remudamom]

Get rid of it. Be strong. It's only stuff.

 

I'm a chunker. I hate clutter.

[mamato3 all-boy boys]

Can you take pictures of some of the "things" that you might have for sentimental reasons, but haven't used in real life? I've been doing that with the kid's artwork. I so wish my mother would do this...

[LaxMom]

I was just remarking to a friend the other day that hoarding the stack of huge bins, containing years of the kids' outgrown clothes must have some bad karma attached. Those things could be blessing others. And I think the stack itself is messing up the chi of the house.

 

(Yes, I DO love the mixed tradition metaphor.)

 

Anyway, that's how I approach decluttering: hoarding stuff that others could use and love comes with bad juju. (And then I get my merciless sister-in-law to come over and help. ;))

[Mommyfaithe]

So I have been decluttering like crazy for the last week or so. I rented a dumpster and have been happily filling it up, taking loads to the good will etc. Yet I am still swimming in STUFF. I have to get rid of around 80% of our belongings before August in order to afford our cross country move. I am not a pack rat per se, but am very attached to my things, even those things that have been in storage for years. Once things are decluttered on the main floor and upper floor(did the initial decluttering of the basement), I plan to head back for the basement and start again, working my way through each room over and over each month a little at a time. Even with that plan and the amount I already got out of the house, it feels like there is no end in sight and that I will never make my goal.

 

I went as far as to get a ballpark quote from a moving company today, to see what it would cost me to take a "normal" amount of furniture/stuff in this move. To have a company drive it all there for me. Yeah it was nearly $10,000. I can buy new stuff for that. If I condense enough to get a uhaul trailer it will cost less than $1000, to tow it all there and I can buy new stuff once there. But just the thought of getting out from under all this stuff is leaving me scared stiff. I have 10 months to get this done, but still feel like that won't be enough time, because there is just too much.

 

Those that have managed to considerably downsize, how did you over come your attachments to stuff in your house? How did you go about getting it out, without a blind panic of thoughts of actually "needing" said items (even if you haven't actually used them in years)?

 

I have a little mantra...

 

If in doubt, throw it out.

 

IOW...If I don't love, won't use it or haven't touched it in a year, if I feel obligated by it or upset by it's existance...OUT it goes.

 

If my mother has the audacity to ask me where it went...I just stare at her doe-eyed and shrug and say, "It was here a minute ago. :lol:

 

I also pretend I am moving and need to condense down to bare minimum every season. If I wouldn't take it with me...I trash it or give it away.

 

I taught my kids wen they clean up...the 3 box rule.

Stuff to put away

stuff to give away

stuff to throw away.

 

Don't come down until everything on the floor is in one of those boxes.

 

Works great.

 

I had a Clutterbuster lady come in here this week and it was basically a waste of time because I am basically at bare bones and she couldn't figure out where all my kids toys went . :lol:

 

FLYlady over the years has done wonders.

 

Now, If I could only learn to decorate and make my space better utilized.

 

Good luck Swellmomma...Just be ultra brutal....TOSS...Toss...Toss!!!

 

Faithe

[Ferdie]

We did the same thing when we moved from CA to TX.

 

Some things were hard to unload, but now that we have been in TX for 4 years I cannot think of one thing that I gave away that I miss.

 

Are there some things that you can pass along to a friend in need? It might make it easier to part with your possessions if you know they are going to someone who needs/loves it.

 

Good luck!

[woolybear]

No advice from me, just a fellow clutterer sympathizing. I swear I have been decluttering for a year. Garbage bag after garbage bag of clothes have gone to goodwill. Boxes of books--out. Well, I know why the amount of books never goes down :001_smile:. I keep buying more. But I KNOW I have gotten rid of tons of junk and the house looks more cluttered than ever. EEek! We have just three closets in the whole house. The basement is too damp. My dh used to bring things down there and then they would get moldy and we would throw them out. Now if he suggests storing anything there I say, "Why don't we just skip that step and just throw it away?" The attic is very inaccessible (ladder up against side of house). So, almost everything we own ends up in plain veiw.

 

Must declutter. Must declutter. Must declutter.

 

You know, the problem with getting rid of things we haven't used in years, is that we do actually use many things after years of not using them.

 

Hmm.....we have too much paper stuff. I need to learn what I can get rid of in that department.

 

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack here.

 

I can only wish you luck in your efforts.

 

Wooly

[mama2cntrykids]

Oooh, that's a tough one!! I'm no help here, sorry, just another sympathizer, lol. I've gotten rid of LOADS of stuff since last Spring, but we still have tons! There are six of us in 1200 sq. feet, so yeah, we don't have room for lots of stuff.

 

We are also (hopefully) moving, but not across country, just two hours away. I am going through the house room by room and packing up stuff that we won't miss for a few months while we're trying to sell the house. I'm taking the stuff and bringing it to the garage.

 

So far we've done, my boys' room, my step son's room, the game nook, the entryway (we put ALL my books, minus HS ones AND the bookshelves out in the garage!!), and my dh and my bedroom. I really should do my closet, because it's a MESS. It is literally jam packed with stuff. My dh's wardrobe is too, come to think of it. Getting him to toss anything is like pulling teeth. Ah well, I'll just use the "we need to sell the house" theory, lol.

 

Anyway, good luck! I know it must be hard...

[gingersmom]

Donate as much as you can to charity. This way you know it will be going to help someone else.

[johnandtinagilbert]

deep breaths. try the 6 month rule. Haven't used it in 6 months (my rule is honestly 3, but I'm offering some grace for you :) ) it goes.

 

Trim down by tossing seasonal stuff. You don't need a platter for every holiday, just one platter (insert dishes, tablecloths, salt and pepper shakers, etc.)

 

Toss out all your wreaths, save one and simply switch out accessories.

 

If the kids can't wear it now, or only the next season...toss it.

 

School stuff that's been sitting unused for more than 3 school years...toss it.

 

You will honestly, truly, I promise, feel better without the clutter.

 

Case and point. I had to clean out my school room. It only took me an hour and a half b/c last year I bit the bullet and tossed all the stuff I didn't need. Imagine my surprise that there was so little to transition or toss b/c I only have what I need and I know I will use.

 

YOU CAN DO IT!

 

Since you have 10m, how about 15 min sessions, twice a day to toss. Start one room at a time.

 

YOU CAN DO IT! We'll support you!

[*********]

Get rid of it. Be strong. It's only stuff.

 

I'm a chunker. I hate clutter.

 

:iagree:

 

Swellmomma, I know you're a Christian, so I have some scripture for you:

 

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. - Matthew 6:16-21

 

(Gently here) It really sounds like you have an attachement to 'stuff'; that perhaps things make you feel secure?

 

I'd pray and ask the Lord to deliver me from my attachement to things. In fact, I did; and He did!

 

I can honestly say that 'things' mean very little to me now. Sure, there are things we need, things we enjoy. But there's VERY few things that would be even a bit hard for me to part with. In fact, the only things I can think of right now that would be difficult for me to part with are my children's photo albums. Clothes, jewelry, furniture, etc, all really mean nothing to me. Of course I have things I *like, things I enjoy. But if someone else needed it, or I needed to downsize for some reason, I'd have no trouble giving it away.

 

I've not always felt this way toward things. I do now, and it's quite freeing. In fact, dh and I regularly go through all of our house, making sure we do not own things that we do not need to/want to own; things we don't use, don't need, or don't want get given away or thrown out.

We regularly have our children do this with their things as well.

 

Good luck on your journey! :001_smile:

[Brilliant]

If you can, use your phone-a-friend feature. Someone who has no qualms laughing at you for keeping your great-grandmother's ugly toilet paper holder. Or, um, whatever *your* hangup is. ;)

 

 

I agree with this. I had a friend come over and she was BRUTAL. I still argued with her a bit - "But I *need* that!" - but it was very helpful to have an unemotional opinion on some of the stuff.

 

The financial motivator was also very strong for me. The binding estimate we got was on a per-pound rate, so if it came in lower, we'd be charged less. I think it was 30 cents a pound or something like that. So every book went through the thought process, "Is it worth 30 cents to move this?" (Of course, 3 years and 2 more moves later, I'm still getting rid of books I should have tossed then...).

 

The irony was that even though I got rid of hundreds of books and truckloads of other stuff, our actual moving weight still came in higher than the estimate. So we were charged the estimated cost, which had been guaranteed not to come in higher. I guess he padded it by 20% up front. :(

[Mabeline]

A year a half ago we downsized from a house to a small apt. We had to get rid of more than half our stuff. At first it was very painful because I too am attached to our things, even the kids' toys. Then after we got rid of some it was easier to get rid of more. Now I try to keep a bag for freecycle or the thrift store. Everytime I run into something that I don't need or use I toss it into the bag. For me it has been easier to do a little at a time. You are so smart to start early and do it slowly. Good luck with the move.:grouphug:

[swellmomma]

 

(Gently here) It really sounds like you have an attachement to 'stuff'; that perhaps things make you feel secure?

 

 

 

This is definitely a huge part of it. I can't afford a ton of new stuff usually, the things I have have taken me years to get. I feel better knowing I have multiple items than to risk not having one and not having the $$ to buy a new one. This goes for toys (hmm could be why we have 5 Mr. Potato heads, or a rubbermaid filled with match box cars-I would say we have close to 200 matchbox cars) I am attached to the kids clothes, toys, our books. Heck I have dish clothes coming out the ying yang because I am scared we will not have ones in good condition when I need them and nothave money to buy new ones.

 

The thing is I have had the money for those little things more often than not in the last 2 years. The first 6 years of my separation I had no money at all. For the last 2 years I have had enough to buy dish clothes, toys and clothes etc so I keep buying, and buying and buying, just in case you know.

 

the crazy thing is It's only been recently that I realized I would be better served to save the money for that just in case scenario not buy more stuff. And I have started that, but now comes getting rid of all teh stuff I have accumulated and that is harder.

 

I do know that under my stairs I have a good 2 dozen garbage bags filled with baby clothes. I know that I will not be having another baby but getting rid of the clothes seems so final kwim. I know I could make some $$ on them if I tried and will have to once I can clear out enough of the storage room to get the opening under the stairs.

 

Seasonal things I did go through last christmas as I put it away, and got us down to 4 rubbermaids of decorations. I will not be getting rid of those, as the collection is so big because each child gets a new ornament each year (and so do I, and have since 1979), that makes for a lot of ornaments that have huge meaning to us.

 

It's things like the gymnastics mats and balance beam that I know I HAVE to part with. In fact I have never had room for them, because I always had too much stuff to set them up. They have sat in storage for nearly 3 years, but feel bad to get rid of them, because a complete stranger from online heard I wanted a set for my kids, and used her credit at a gymnastics club to buy them for me and her dh delivered them, and I never had room to use them. Maybe once all this flu is out of my home My sister will come help me, she seems able to toss everything in sight.

[fivetails]

You know we did this in reverse (east2west) ~ planned a cross country move that required getting rid of 90% of our possessions... and we pulled it off in three weeks. Rather, I pulled it off - because dh was already moved out here.;)

 

THREE WEEKS to knock a very full household of "stuff" down to six 50lb suitcases. You have ten months. You can do this - guaranteed. You just have to focus on what's important to you & your family. :D

 

Is the move more important than the gymnastics mat & balance beam? If you answer yes, then out. it. goes. OUT. G'bye. :seeya:

 

Is the move more important than the 24 bags of baby clothes? The rubbermaid container of dinky cars? (It's pet shops here LOL) The ______?

 

It's hard to let go of "stuff" --- and actually, I might even suggest that you wait a bit -- see, I'm a semi-recovered packrat. I've had a hard time getting rid of 'stuff' for many many years.... my family back east couldn't *believe* what I did to make us ready to move. They were shocked speechless that I got rid of almost all my 'stuff'. :lol:

 

Almost because I did save some. My mother has four or five bins in her basement, and a friend has some larger items stored for me, like my early 60's banana seat bike and the antique trike that I fell in love with at a flea market.

 

....and I will admit that one suitcase was pretty much nothing but Webkinz. :blushing:

 

BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT. :tongue_smilie:

 

The point is, you can do this - if the move is *that* important to you, you will find a way to let. go. of. the. stuff.

 

Being out here with dh was more important than our stuff - so, it went. It went so that *we* could go --- on that plane. :)