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Please share some jokes I can tell to ds 5 and 8


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How do you get a frog off the windshield? Turn on the defrogger. :D

 

How do frogs take notes? On lily pads. :lol:

 

What happens to an illegally parked frog? It gets toad away.:smilielol5:

 

 

This is an illness, by the way, if you have boys. My 7yr. old son comes up with some doozies. Check out cute joke books at your local library in the kids' section.

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I don't know if they'll get this one, but...

 

What did Snow White say when she dropped off her film to be developed at Wal-Mart?

 

Someday my prints will come.

 

 

 

Also, this is a pointless joke that usually gets laughs--

 

What did Farmer Brown say when he lost his cow?

 

I lost my cow!

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What does an Ancient Egyptian kid call his parents?

Mummy and Deady--this is from dd7!

 

What did the rhinoceros say to the elephant?

(Roll eyes, hands on hips) Rhinoceroses can't talk?

 

Knock knock

Who's there?

Dwayne.

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the tub, I'm dwowning, I'm dwowning!

 

That's all, folks!

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These are hilarious!:lol:

 

My boys love these-

 

What do you call your sister with one leg?

-Eileen

 

What do you call her twin?

-Peg

 

What do you call your brother with no arms or legs floating in the pool?

-Bob

 

What do you call your brother with no arms or legs sitting on the front porch?

-Matt

 

What's green and red and goes 50 miles per hour?

-A frog in a blender

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These are hilarious!:lol:

 

My boys love these-

 

What do you call your sister with one leg?

-Eileen

 

What do you call her twin?

-Peg

 

What do you call your brother with no arms or legs floating in the pool?

-Bob

 

What do you call your brother with no arms or legs sitting on the front porch?

-Matt

 

What's green and red and goes 50 miles per hour?

-A frog in a blender

 

What do you call your brother with no arms and leg in a tree?

 

Russell

 

What do you call you brother with no arms and legs hanging on the wall?

 

Art

 

What do you call your brother with no arms and legs tied behind a speed boat?

 

Skip

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What do you call your brother with no arms and leg in a tree?

 

Russell

 

What do you call you brother with no arms and legs hanging on the wall?

 

Art

 

What do you call your brother with no arms and legs tied behind a speed boat?

 

Skip

 

It's so good to know that I am not alone in the dismembered human body joke fun!:D

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It's so good to know that I am not alone in the dismembered human body joke fun!:D

 

That is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!

 

I know all these jokes and was thinking about posting them but I had origianally heard them as "paraplegic" jokes. I thought they would be offensive. So when I saw how you worded them... I was delighted! Now I know how to tell them in a better way!!!!

 

 

Thanks:lol::lol::lol:

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That is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!

 

I know all these jokes and was thinking about posting them but I had origianally heard them as "paraplegic" jokes. I thought they would be offensive. So when I saw how you worded them... I was delighted! Now I know how to tell them in a better way!!!!

 

 

Thanks:lol::lol::lol:

 

That thought did cross my mind, but Dang!, those jokes make me laugh.:rofl:

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That thought did cross my mind, but Dang!, those jokes make me laugh.:rofl:

 

 

Me TOO! Every time I tell the one about ....what do you call.....tied behind a speed boat? Skip

 

I get a mental picture of that lame '80's movie "Week End at Bernies" when the two guys had dead Berney in the boat and they took off and he came out of the boat... you could see his body skipping on the water. That was the only time I have laughed so much in a movie theater that I was actually on the floor crying:smilielol5::smilielol5:

 

My husband is so proud of my cache of "no arm/legs" jokes he brags to his buddies and has me tell 'em:001_smile:

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