Who raises their children bi-or trilingual?

[Friederike in Persia]

I'm just curious and might want to chat a bit about it too.

 

In general I love raising our dc with 3 languages, but sometimes we hit rough patches.

 

So our dc started off with German as their dominant language, but once I began hs them in English they swapped over to English within weeks (the last one just a few months ago, sniff).

Their German is good though and the dds can read and write it, too. When we're in Germany they go to school there with their cousins.

Finally Tajik, a language similar to Farsi, but written with the Cyrilic alphabet. They sound like the locals (which most Tajiks just adore:001_smile:), the dds can also read and write it well, since they go to local school in the afternoons. That one I find is the most work and it's not made easier by the fact, that I can't help with the school work anymore, since they've surpassed me in some areas. But we'll keep it going for another 2-3 years, so they'll have it for life, then I'll need the time for English hs.

 

I'd love to hear from you,

Friederike (German), married to Chris (Brit) and living in Tajikistan

[PariSarah]

He used to be fully bicultural--"native" in both French and English, although English was more dominant.

 

But since we've been back to the States, he's downgraded to merely fluent in French. It doesn't help that only dh is truly fluent, and he's lost a lot since we've been back, too.

 

I've no idea how we're going to get the baby up to speed. :(

[Hannah]

Our home language is English and both girls went / are going to Afrikaans playgroups.

 

8yo dd speaks and reads Afrikaans fluently although she says that she is much more comfortable in English. Most of her friends are Afrikaans speaking.

 

3y10m dd still mixes her languages at times. It is interesting that she uses the grammar of the language she is speaking, but may add in a few words from the other language. She has very recently become aware that people speak different languages.

 

We will be moving to England in a few month's time (if all goes to plan) and I'm not sure how I will keep the Afrikaans going. I've thought of making an "Afrikaans in the car" rule, but don't really want to speak it in public as this may set us apart. I prefer not to switch our home language. We may also stock up on Afrikaans books and DVD's and make a point of reading and watching those regularly. I think my 8yo will probably keep the language, but am not sure of the 4yo.

 

I think it is a lot easier to keep up a second language if you're in the community than otherwise.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

Our main language is French. While we live in a French speaking province, we also live in the English 'ghetto' (said tongue in cheek, it's not an actual ghetto) of the city. Therefore, most of the neighbours speak English, but go to French immersion school. In a word, pretty much everyone around us is bilingual, including both parents.

By fluke, my son attends afterschool activities where English is dominent, and my daughter has French. Guess which one is the most bilingual of the two?

I'm not too sure what to do with my daughter. She's at the gym 9 hours a week already, and that will likely go up to 16 hours eventually. Not much time for something else. But she's still young , she's only 7.

 

My son has schoolbooks in both languages, since English homeschooling materials are easy to get, and French homeschooling materials are non existent. For now, my daughter is still schooled only in French.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

We are mostly English speaking, not because my dc can't do Spanish, but, my dh and I struggle a little.

 

Everywhere else pretty much it's Spanish. They read and write it now (except for ds who will be learning this year) and all 3 can translate for teams who come down to work. They are progressing faster than either my dh or myself!!!

[Mabelen]

We are raising our daughters to be bilingual and multicultural.

 

I come from Spain, my dh from Sri Lanka, and we lived in the UK for many years before relocating in the US, so British culture is also part of our family make up.

 

My children attend private American schools. That is their main source of American culture, since most of our friends tend to be expats from many different countries. Even our American friends tend to be second or third generation or multicultural themselves. This is not something we have seeked out, we are open to all people, but that is how things have turned out.

 

Our family language is English because that is the one common language. I always talk with my girls in Spanish when daddy is not around or when we have Spanish speaking guests. We read a lot of Spanish, we watch Spanish shows, listen to Spanish music, communicate with our Spanish relatives etc.

[Volty]

I live in China, my wife is Chinese and her parents live with us.

 

So my daughter's two main caregivers -her mother and grandmother- as well as the TV and everybody else speak Chinese. My daughter (children) will most certainly learn Mandarin Chinese before English, possibly Sichuan dialect too. The only person who speaks English with her consistently is me but I work a lot and while my wife uses both Mandarin and English, her English is good not great.

 

It's important she fullly masters English, much better than most American kids when she's 16 and the ACT/SATs roll around. I always did exceedingly well on standardized tests, I loved taking them, and I hope HSing will allow my children to surpass me. Really as HSers since we're not objectively providing grades or a class rank, standardized test are the only thing we've got to demonstrate our dc's scholastic ability to colleges. So I'm a little worried because I know at the start that she'll fall behind in English and I worry that time constraints may limit my ability to provide the English training she needs.:(

[Anne/Ankara]

Our story: in addition to English, we've studied Turkish from day one (dh is from Turkey) and he has spoken to the children exclusively in Turkish from early on, and gives them lessons in Turkish every other day. From first grade, we did Latin lessons on alternate days. Now, in Jr. High, we've picked up French.

 

Overall, I would describe our progress as slow but steady-- it helps that we vacation yearly in Turkey, so the kids' fluency can build then, but here at home there is so much English that it's hard to really get the Turkish down well. Latin has come along well enough, but I'm having trouble seeing the value of studying Latin poetry and literature (high school work), so I'm having doubts about how much time we should devote to it through high school.

 

We recently did the North American Computational Linguistics Olympiad at Carnegie Mellon, and the kids did very well (for their grades, of course!). That is a fun linguistics challenge that is available for free to anyone-- look for the 2009 one next year. You can even take it online.

 

http://www.naclo.cs.cmu.edu/

[Jean in Newcastle]

As a person who grew up bi-lingual let me say a few things. First as to my own kids - I teach them Japanese but it is more limited than I'd like. I would have to be a lot more rigorous in my exposure. My in-laws would like them to learn Tagalog but since I don't know it (except enough to know when everyone is talking about me "in front of" my back), and no one else has offered to teach it to them, they only know a few words.

 

I learned Japanese as a child - English was for inside (our house). Japanese was for the greater world. Then when I went to school, we had a Japanese teacher at school 3 mornings a week. In my case, I became (and still am) completely fluent in the spoken language. On the phone, people thought I was a native speaker. But writing and reading was a whole 'nother matter - probably because reading and writing Japanese is so difficult. (Japanese kids can't read a newspaper with fluency until Jr. High). I still know the two Japanese syllabaries backward and forward (their equivalent to an alphabet) but the Chinese writing requires constant exposure and practice. I've slipped to 1st grade level. . .

 

Bottom line: exposure to books, music, t.v. and play-dates (or some other exposure to native or fluent speakers) is the way to go! If you want your kids to be fluent in reading and writing you need to set aside some time to practice every day or at least a couple of times a week (this would include your case, Volty). If someone could do read-a-louds in the target language(s) that would be great too.

[Kate in Arabia]

We're a trilingual household here as well -- English, Arabic, Urdu.

 

The Arabic has jumped dramatically since we moved here, and even moreso in the past few weeks as the kids have started some outside classes. I was *so* proud of my ds 10, after his first class I picked him up and we saw a group of about twelve local kids playing soccer in the alleyway. He looked at them longingly (loves soccer), and I asked if he wanted to go play with them and I'd come back and get him later. He actually said yes! And went over there to these non-English speaking kids and got into the game! So now he stays after class each day and hangs out with them, I'm hoping/expecting his spoken Arabic to get a boost.

 

Urdu is by far our weakest. I can understand spoken Urdu fairly well, but can't speak to save my life (well, maybe for that, lol) and can very painfully read signs and headlines, etc. I feel bad about that, because dh has quite a few relatives who only speak Urdu, his family speaks Urdu at home, but if he wants the kids to be better at it he'd have to take the lead and he isn't. I've bought books and textbooks and all, but to no avail. When we visit my inlaws they speak to the kids in Urdu, and they pick up quite a bit while we're there, but it is quickly forgotten after we leave. I think my parents would be really hurt and sad if my kids only knew a bare minimum of English, I feel really bad about it, but I have reached a state where I have to let it be dh's decision.

 

 

Kate

[Mabelen]

Kate, you are right: it is up to your husband to take the lead. I also would have liked my children to learn Tamil, but my dh decided against it.

 

In my husband's defense, I have to say except for one aunt of his, everybody else's English is excellent, with a few peculiarities and an accent, but otherwise great. This one aunt can understand English fairly well and can even speak a little. She is the eldest of my father in law's siblings.

 

I tried to get my children to at least learn some. I bought a basic Tamil language computer program and my oldest every now and then plays it and has learned a few words and phrases that way. When we spend time with my in laws the kids get to learn songs and words, but not much more.

 

Don't beat yourself over this. You can only do so much.

[Friederike in Persia]

I think Mabelen is right:iagree:.

 

Trilingual is a lot and if the incentives weren't so high for my dc, they'd like to chuck at least one language.

My mum doesn't speak good English, nor do their German cousins, so that's a big one. Without Tajik they couldn't communicate/play with anybody here, where we live most of the time, that's another one.

 

If any of your children turn out to be linguists, they'll pick up Urdu fast enough:bigear:

[Sebastian (a lady)]

We do English and German. Both dh and I studied German in school. Then we lived in Berlin for three years. The kids picked up a lot, but not as much as they probably would have if they'd been in German schools.

What they are is fearless. They truely believe that they can speak German. So when we had German guests this summer, they were speaking German from the moment they were off the plane. I love that they don't worry so much about making mistakes (and they do make a lot) that they clam up and won't talk.

Now we are maintaining German as a minority language (which is more complicated by the fact that neither dh or I are native speakers and our own fluency is rapidly eroding). We have a couple tools that we use. Rosetta Stone has been great for our kids as an early elementary language tool. Since you are native, it might be too easy. On the other hand, it can be a regular dose of the language (and taught by the computer, not a parent, who can be argued with). We have computer games that are in German and English from Tivola (Oscar the Balloonist and Max series). The kids may play them once in English and thereafter in German. They only get English again if a certain phrase is really hard to understand.

We have a similar rule for DVDs. We bought tons in German that are English and German. After the first time, they are only played in German except as a special treat. We also have stuff like Die Sendung mit der Maus that our German cousins send us. These are great.

Finally, we have a gigantic stack of Donald Duck comics in German. We bought them at flea markets before we moved. The kids have picked up a lot of vocabulary from pouring over these.

I think that one of the keys for us is that several forms of entertainment (cartoons and comic books) are only or mostly available in German. It provides a nice carrot for them to keep learning.

Language acquisition is a long process. It is longer when you are working multiple languages. And fluency is a slippery concept. I have read most of the Harry Potter books in German and cheerfully did museums and shopping in German. But it is work to read an article about a political topic. On the other hand, dh lived and breathed political and military stuff but probably could easily buy celery without resorting to pointing.

A couple good books on the topic are The Bilingual Family by Edith Harding and Growing Up with Two Languages.

Also our fluency changes over time. We have gained and lost and gained again. I'm mostly resigned to the fact that our youngest will not learn German as fluently. But maybe he'll be the best at Japanese. Keep at it. Even in small bits, I'm convinced that language learning is not in vain.

[Elm in NJ]

They understand Krio and even though we spent 9 months in Freetown, they will not speak it.

 

I speak it at home with dh sometimes though and the kids here it that way. They will also tell you when I tell them off, it is always in Krio.

 

But it is not really a bi-lingual household over here.:001_smile:

 

Elmeryl

[Jean in Newcastle]

One note about learning language through the t.v.: you can learn some funny language habits that way! I once commented on an approaching police officer (I thought respectfully) but it came out something like "Watch out, here comes the fuzz!" I watched a lot of cop shows. . .

 

I also loved watching the really old Samurai shows and so my speech would often be sprinkled with the Japanese equivalent of "thees and thous". :001_huh:

[chiguirre]

I'm really not sure where my kids are with Spanish. I thought they knew a bit of basic vocabulary and that was that. Because the boys are autistic, we were advised to pick one language and stick to it with them so we always speak to them in English and that carried over to dd too. But dh and I speak Spanish together (alright, it's more like Spanglish--we flip a lot) but we rarely use straight English either.

 

It turns out that the kids must have been learning a lot through osmosis because all of a sudden they're joining our conversations and they must have understood the Spanish even though they only speak English. I'm not really sure what we'll do next. Neither ds nor dd is reading English well enough to tackle reading in Spanish and I doubt I can teach them correct grammar without some visual aids. Most kid's curricula only addresses vocabulary acquisition and a bit of grammar through osmosis, but not learning your conjugations and tenses, KWIM. I guess I'll wait a couple of years and then try to teach them correct grammar and hope they learn to answer in Spanish.

 

My dad tried to teach me Hungarian but I got stuck at the understanding what others were saying but can't answer in the language stage. OTOH, he never sat down and taught me correct grammar either and practice opportunites were, ummm, somewhat limited even though I belonged to a Hungarian scout troop. To be honest, I never saw much point in learning Hungarian as a teenager either, it wasn't like learning French or Spanish at school for a grade. :lol:

[Laura Corin]

They are fairly fluent in Chinese, but I wouldn't describe them as bilingual. Although DH and I both speak Mandarin, neither of us is a native speaker. Their tones are good and they can communicate well, but Chinese is definitely their second language.

 

Laura

[Audrey]

At one point in the not too distant past, I would have said that we were homeschooling bilingual, English and French. English, of course, is my native language. I also speak Spanish, and I learned French in college and learned to actually speak it living here. I also took Latin all four years of high school and three years in college. My dh is fully bilingual Eng/Fr. and always has been.

 

We used to include French in our homeschool, but my dh really does not prefer it. His words were "even if people speak French (here) they all speak English." He also feels that it is more important to have excellent English skills than anything else.

 

Our ds speaks some Fr. -- enough to have a basic conversation with someone, but I know that if he doesn't pursue speaking it more often, it will probably fade away.

 

As for my dh, seeing as the language (Fr.) is his language and his culture, I feel that he's the one who needs to make the call on whether we pursue teaching it or not, and he says don't bother. If I'm truly honest, I don't care if we never study French formally again. I don't want to fight two people over it. It's not even my battle to pick. If ds gets inspired to do it, then that would be different, but he simply isn't interested at this point.

 

Latin, on the other hand... that's mandatory. :coolgleamA:

[Rosie_0801]

We use far more English than Auslan, but dd has a greater vocab in Auslan because she's only one. The closest Auslan playgroup is 2 hours away, so I've had no-one to compare to. There's no literature on Auslan development in hearing kids either, so it's all quite interesting to watch. Weirdly, she started "babbling" in Auslan when she had a vocab of about 10 signs. I thought babbling came before. Signed languages are a much more convenient option than spoken languages when dealing with tots. I'm not sure what role Auslan will play when we are actually homeschooling. I don't know how to teach maths in Auslan, and translating history, for example, would be a crazy amount of work for me. I'm thinking Auslan might be useful for the end of day report to dad.

Anyway, that's enough of my musings.

:)

Rosie- who feels a bit boring, not speaking Tajik or anything cool like that!

[AmyB]

We didn't purposefully teach our kids to speak various languages or dialects, but they learned them. When we move, they forget the previous one, and learn a different language or dialect. We speak various languages and dialects at home, depending on where we are. We just practice at home as much as we can. The kids can speak some very cool dialects, and ds is in demand at his drama group because of that.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

Right now we are basically English and Spanish. My dc can read and write in both languages and the Guatemalans say they can't tell the difference between my dc and a Guatemalan when they speak Spanish. They are so good! I love it!

 

My oldest dd is going to be starting French this year at a French language school here. She wants to take the next several years and really get fluent at it. She wants to read and write it also. So she will be, hopefully, fluent in 3 languages. We'll see!

 

At home, we mostly speak English, but, on occasion, we do speak Spanish. This usually happens when we have guests or when my dh decides he needs more practice and it's a Spanish-only day at our house.:001_smile:

[sagira]

I speak Papiamento, my native language, to my children. I'm also exposing them to and going to teach them Spanish. My eldest only speaks English to me, but he understands everything I say and will use a word here and there. Dd doesn't talk yet.

[Mom to Aly]

My dd was completely fluent in French and English when she was young--my xh is from France, and I have degrees in French Lit & Lang (we met in Paris when I was doing one of my master's), and am fluent. XH left and was very emotionally abusive to dd when she was 4, turning 5, and she absolutely refused to speak it at all, didn't want to hear French, nothing, so she pretty much lost it. She has finally said she wants to learn it again, and we are just getting started now.

 

The funny thing is, if I say something to her in French when she is not paying attention, she totally gets it, but when she realizes I'm speaking in French she stops and her face goes blank--I can't figure out if it is intentional or not--I don't think so, though. I grew up speaking several languages, three of them Indian, including Hindi. I completely stopped speaking them when my father died, 23 years ago. I cannot speak or understand it at all, I feel, now, but if I hear it, I have come to realize I do get some of it when I'm not really trying--but trying to say something, or concentrating on translating it, it seems impossible.

 

So, I am hopeful it won't be as difficult as it seems, right now, to start from the beginning with dd, to make her bilingual again. Don't know, today, everything seems quite hard :(.