mlbuchina Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 What do you do when someone asks your child when are they going to go to "REAL" school????? I have one person at church who asks this of my dd6, and the look on her face is one of puzzlement. "I thought I was in real school:confused:," it says. Also, I have heard her Sunday school teacher correct her behavior in class by telling her she doesn't want to act such-n-such way when she gets to "REAL" school. What??? These are not people who are nasty or think poorly of homeschoolers. I think that they just don't get it. Any similar experiences? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 My aunt just said this to my dc the other day! Dd said (and I quote) "Well then I suppose we'd have to be *real* kids and my mom would FREAK!" :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 My aunt just said this to my dc the other day! Dd said (and I quote) "Well then I suppose we'd have to be *real* kids and my mom would FREAK!" :lol::lol::lol: Love it! It is annoying when people say things like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlbuchina Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 My aunt just said this to my dc the other day! Dd said (and I quote) "Well then I suppose we'd have to be *real* kids and my mom would FREAK!" :lol::lol::lol: :smilielol5: I may have to teach that one to my dd6! Too funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm37 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 What do you do when someone asks your child when are they going to go to "REAL" school????? ... Any similar experiences? We have said, "Oh, we like our "FAKE" school just fine." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 My younger guy still got 'real' school comments from friends even while he was in high school. His question to me was, what do they think I'm doing at home, watching TV all day? How would I get an education that way? People don't associate home with getting things done, I guess. I'd probably have a quiet word with those folks saying that to your little one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 What do you do when someone asks your child when are they going to go to "REAL" school????? I have one person at church who asks this of my dd6, and the look on her face is one of puzzlement. "I thought I was in real school:confused:," it says. Also, I have heard her Sunday school teacher correct her behavior in class by telling her she doesn't want to act such-n-such way when she gets to "REAL" school. What??? These are not people who are nasty or think poorly of homeschoolers. I think that they just don't get it. Any similar experiences? These may be the same people who think being a "homemaker" means your house is never messy. :D I don't get that comment much but my gut reaction would be to talk to her teacher about what she doesn't think is "real" about homeschooling, with a puzzled look on my face. Some of it can be semantics as some people don't know how to address homeschooling and compare it to a B&M classroom. I use the term traditional classroom when discussing it with ds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 If they're not being nasty or putting down home schooling or your child, then let it go. You can laugh (I like the "real kids" line, lol, or the "we like our fake school"), or just answer the question as if they had used whatever other word you would have found more apt ("traditional", "institutional", "brick-and-mortar")... If your child would feel more comfortable with a specific line to say -- and that too can be a little bit funny ("When I get my acceptance letter from Harvard") or simply straightforward ("We have a real home school!") or whatever -- then I think that's reasonable. But you'll need to decide what you consider appropriate for your family and situation. I wouldn't encourage a child to say something that could appear to come across as intentionally rude. I don't think it does any of us any good to take offense where it isn't intended -- even if the wording someone uses grates on us. (Though, personally, after being home schooled myself for k-8 and having always home schooled my own kiddos, the oldest of whom is now in 6th, I have no real objection to using the term "real" school. I think it's pretty funny!) ... I've also had people start off conversations like that, go on to *grill* me about home schooling, and then end up by explaining that they've really been starting to consider home schooling themselves! They're just desperate for information and leap on the first real home schooler they find! ;o) (And most of them never get beyond that point, but some of them have gone on to become some great home schooling friends of ours!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 People are perfectly comfortable referring to someone's real parents, so of course they do it for school. If it is an ongoing problem, I would speak with the person; if it's just a semantic misstep, maybe let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 How about teaching your children to say, "I do go to a real school. It is a verrrry exclusive private boarding school.":D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I'd probably have a quiet word with those folks saying that to your little one. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 How about teaching your children to say, "I do go to a real school. It is a verrrry exclusive private boarding school.":D :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moni Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 (edited) Blank stare. Next one who talks, loses. Or "not this year." or Are you assuming by asking when that they ever will go to Real School? I like to agree with them. We say things like They don't have to go to school. Or, They don't go to school. We don't call our academic endeavors at home "school." :seeya: Edited September 21, 2009 by Moni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katiebug_1976 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 This sounds like a mind set thing. If your kids are homeschooled, it's not "real" school. If you are a stay-at-home mom, you don't have a "real" job, so you have all the time in the world to do what you want! I think people with this mind set are completely oblivious to what "real" life is like! Whether they mean to make these type of comments or not, they are irratating and rude in my opinion. Nevermind that they can be very confusing to younger children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet in WA Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I just calmly replied, "They ARE in real school." My sons soon learned to make that reply themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwinMominTX Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I combat it by explaining to my children the different types of schools... government schools private schools home schools I told them that some people don't know the correct terminology and mean a different type of school than home school when they mention real schools or regular schools. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccm Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Some of it can be semantics as some people don't know how to address homeschooling and compare it to a B&M classroom. I use the term traditional classroom when discussing it with ds. I wouldn't encourage a child to say something that could appear to come across as intentionally rude. I don't think it does any of us any good to take offense where it isn't intended -- even if the wording someone uses grates on us... I've also had people start off conversations like that, go on to *grill* me about home schooling, and then end up by explaining that they've really been starting to consider home schooling themselves! They're just desperate for information and leap on the first real home schooler they find! I combat it by explaining to my children the different types of schools... government schools private schools home schools I told them that some people don't know the correct terminology and mean a different type of school than home school when they mention real schools or regular schools. :iagree: I was a public/private school mom for many years. Looking back, I probably sounded rude to others when I was questioning homeschoolers, but I didn't know the correct terminology or really how to go about getting the information I needed to make an intelligent decision about how to educate my child. I'm sure I would have formed a bad impression about hsers had I encountered those who thought that I was attacking them. I learned most about hsers by observing them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moni Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 If your kids are homeschooled, it's not "real" school. That's right. This is our mentality. My kids aren't in a "real" school. :seeya: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KellyJ Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 How about teaching your children to say, "I do go to a real school. It is a verrrry exclusive private boarding school.":D Love this answer! My 12yo son came up with his own answer to, "No school today?" He simply replies, "I dropped out." :cheers2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlbuchina Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 Thanks for the replies! They have made me look at the situation a little differently, and I love all the funny replies!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 We do real schooling but not in a school. re. people who question my children about when they will go to "real school" - I ask them to talk to me or my husband because we are the ones that make the educational decisions in our household. re. a Sunday school teacher using "real school" as a way of changing behavior - that is an inappropriate way of handling behavior problems. If she is behaving in a way that is not appropriate for the "real Sunday School classroom" that she is in, she should be told what is the correct way to behave. Future expectations from possible future schooling choices is beside the point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 Love this answer! My 12yo son came up with his own answer to, "No school today?" He simply replies, "I dropped out." :cheers2: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnandtinagilbert Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 I have long explained to my children that although home schooling has been around a lot longer than public school, most people are simply ignorant to that fact and will call it "real" school anyway. Then I tell them, they (dc) are getting a real education, that will far exceed what they're public school friends are getting. When people ask me, I generally ask, "What do you man by real school?" Then I follow up with, "We use the same sort of education that has been passed down from the Greeks of ancient times and through world history. Public schools, as you know them, are a relatively new phenomenon, only existing in the last century." Hey, they asked...why not educate them so they too can get a feel for "real" school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnandtinagilbert Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 Love this answer! My 12yo son came up with his own answer to, "No school today?" He simply replies, "I dropped out." :cheers2: love it...my ds once said, "No, I'm not in public school...thank God." Not nice, but made me so very happy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 "Do we look imaginary to you?" is my standard line when 'real' school comes up. Only time it has is in a grilling, put down, negative way, so I have no problem being snarky. The imaginary line is a family tradition. It started when my older (step) brother told my mom that she wasn't his 'real' mom. She knelt down (he was 6 at the time) and said, "Do I look imaginary to you?" and that was the end of the 'real' mom issues. (He didn't know his bmom at all). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 On a related note, I saw a school-at-home homeschooler refer to her particular brand of home education as "actual homeschooling." I think people just don't think sometimes and try not to take offense. I also remind my daughter that her education is perfectly legitimate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 What do you do when someone asks your child when are they going to go to "REAL" school????? I have one person at church who asks this of my dd6, and the look on her face is one of puzzlement. "I thought I was in real school:confused:," it says. Also, I have heard her Sunday school teacher correct her behavior in class by telling her she doesn't want to act such-n-such way when she gets to "REAL" school. What??? These are not people who are nasty or think poorly of homeschoolers. I think that they just don't get it. Any similar experiences? Contrary to the laid-back and kind responses already posted, the above quote would upset me. 1) It undermines parental authority and decisions. 2) The fact that it's repeated give it tenacity and authority. A person in leadership *keeps* asking your child essentially about the legitimacy of her educational setting. 3) The use of it in discipline is icky and manipulative. As such, I'd approach her kindly but firmly. "Denise, I need you to stop asking my child about "real" school. She's homeschooled, is in an appropriate educational setting and I'm asking the questions to stop. In addition, if there is a discipline issue with her, I need it addressed directly, not having to do with homeschool. If you have a problem with her behavior, let's work together to assist her in being appropriate in your class." I'd deflect any discussion of the homeschooling aspect and stick to the boundaries: 1) No "real school" comments or questions 2) No use of school setting as a filter for discipline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 I combat it by explaining to my children the different types of schools... government schools private schools home schools I told them that some people don't know the correct terminology and mean a different type of school than home school when they mention real schools or regular schools. This is a very good answer, and not at all combative imho. It is the truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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