Tenaj Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 My eight yods's first soccer practice was last night. New people, new coach, and hopefully, new friends for him. Comment #1: I'm basically due anyday with baby #8 so I was explaining to the coach that if ds doesn't show up at a practice and I don't call it's probably because of circumstances beyond my control :) As I return to sit in my lawn chair, a lady sitting next to me says, "So do you homeschool?" I replied, "Yes" with probably a puzzled expression because it seemed an odd question to ask a new acquaintance (first words ever spoken between us). She answers with "I figured you did when I heard you have so many kids". :confused: I guess I live under a rock - I never knew there was a limit as to how many children you could have if you send them to ps. Comment #2: Our local school starts today so that was a big topic of conversation between the coach and kids as they were getting to know each other. Coach asked my ds if he was ready for school and he gave her a confused look because we've been doing school for about three weeks. I explained we homeschool and had already started. Fast forward to the end of practice -- coach is giving them a little pep talk, announcing next practice, wishes them a good day at school tomorrow. "Oh, except for Joey, he's homeschooled and he's already been having school for a while now. Aren't you all glad you aren't homeschooled?" :001_huh: It may be a looooooong season this fall! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomLovesClassics Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 Sounds like they are quite misinformed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 You should have answered that woman with a bright, "Yes! Before we got pregnant with #5 (or whatever), we had to sign a waiver agreeing to homeschool so we wouldn't use more than our share of public resources." It's hard in public, sometimes. DS6 went to his first soccer practice Monday and I started chatting with the moms there. Of course, all the talk was, "So how's school going?" (It's the second week of public, here.) After a few minutes, I realized they weren't asking about the kids' school, 4 of them were teachers. They finally asked, "So which school is M going to?" Uh, we homeschool. The dreaded dead silence. Then, from one, "Well, that's okay. My husband and I are public school teachers but we send our daughter to private school. Everyone has to make the best decision for their kids." Sigh, thanks for your permission. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 UGH! That would send me over the edge! Seriously! There is only so much stupidity I can take. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PineFarmMom Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 (edited) I don't know if I'd have such a beef with the lady, but the coach was just. rude to single our your child like that at a practice. Edited August 30, 2009 by Texas T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mchel210 Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 You should have answered that woman with a bright, "Yes! Before we got pregnant with #5 (or whatever), we had to sign a waiver agreeing to homeschool so we wouldn't use more than our share of public resources." haaaaaaaa :smilielol5: Some people dont have clue! Tyler is only in Boy Scouts. They are pretty good about it. Most of them tell him they wish they would be homeschooled. My girls answer right back and tell them that is why they are so smart. :) Then they usually break off telling them about Egypt or spell out really long words! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 None of these things would particularly bother me. While possibly a bit insensitive, it doesn't sound like anyone was intentionally rude. People say stupid things all the time without intending insult, myself and almost everyone I know included. Try giving them the benefit of the doubt; it makes for less aggrevation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenaj Posted August 26, 2009 Author Share Posted August 26, 2009 None of these things would particularly bother me. While possibly a bit insensitive, it doesn't sound like anyone was intentionally rude. People say stupid things all the time without intending insult, myself and almost everyone I know included. Try giving them the benefit of the doubt; it makes for less aggrevation. Oh, it didn't particularly bother me. The first comment just made me laugh because of the stereotype (and no, I didn't have my denim jumper on). The second comment probably bothered me more just because it isolated my son in a way that was completely unnecessary - if he went to a private school, he also wouldn't be on the same schedule as the rest of the kids. I don't think my ds even registered what she had said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 Now the coach, umm, can't he wish your kid a good day at school even if it isn't the first day :confused: He sounded embarrassed at not quite knowing what to say next. Hopefully, he'll get more relaxed with you. Just a thought: he may be woman-shy and the references to your upcoming labor and birth might have flapped him. Some men act as though babies are found in cabbage patches. I would guess these men gravitate towards boy sports....just a thought. Hope everyone turns out to be nice but just a bit gauche at first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 Honestly, most of the big families I know are homeschoolers. There is one family at church with 8 or 9 kids and I was surprised when I found out they don't homeschool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abdesigns Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 I have a family whose passion is soccer, eventually your coach will be happy, because your son will have more time to kick the ball around in the back yard, those skills will show up on the field. Then you'll hear "You all should be practicing they way he does". My son is a keeper for his team, homeschooling has given him the chance to meet with trainers that the other kids can't meet with, and at discount prices too! There's a benefit there. I bet though, that the coach didn't know what to say, and it all just came flowing out of his mouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa B Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 I wouldn't have minded either one of those comments. When he found out we homeschool, our doctor commented that his families with the most kids (8+ kids) all homeschool. It was just a comment - not a judgment. I think the coach was actually drawing the child into the group with a comment like that. He's making it seem like less of a big deal than the other kids might otherwise see it. I see that as a typical, joking, guy way of making him one of the group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 Oh, it didn't particularly bother me. The first comment just made me laugh because of the stereotype (and no, I didn't have my denim jumper on). The second comment probably bothered me more just because it isolated my son in a way that was completely unnecessary - if he went to a private school, he also wouldn't be on the same schedule as the rest of the kids. I don't think my ds even registered what she had said. The lots of kids stereotype is something I get teased about often - and I only have 4. I generally tell them we've got to have someone to take care of our goats while I'm sewing our denim jumpers. For the people who know me (I live in N. Dallas where there are NO goats for miles and I'd probably scream if I did actually see one up close) generally recognize they're being a little ridiculous when I say that. I'd be a little irked at the coach though. Make sure your son has a couple of days off when the kids are in the middle of testing or something. Let them see the opposite side of the coin. Ours was at Christmas last year. We were getting ready to leave for Germany for a month and all of the kids friends still had 3 weeks of school. There was more than a little bit of envy going around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 I am SO sorry!!! Out of the 7 kids on my yonger son's soccer team, 5 of them are homeschooled. The coach is also a homeschooler. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 I generally tell them we've got to have someone to take care of our goats while I'm sewing our denim jumpers. :lol::hurray::smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingM Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 I think the coach was actually drawing the child into the group with a comment like that. He's making it seem like less of a big deal than the other kids might otherwise see it. I see that as a typical, joking, guy way of making him one of the group. I think this is right. Guys frequently banter in a way that would seem rude to women. I think it can help make people feel more relaxed with each other, if done right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 Comment #1: I'm basically due anyday with baby #8 so I was explaining to the coach that if ds doesn't show up at a practice and I don't call it's probably because of circumstances beyond my control :) As I return to sit in my lawn chair, a lady sitting next to me says, "So do you homeschool?" I replied, "Yes" with probably a puzzled expression because it seemed an odd question to ask a new acquaintance (first words ever spoken between us). She answers with "I figured you did when I heard you have so many kids". :confused: I guess I live under a rock - I never knew there was a limit as to how many children you could have if you send them to ps. Well, she was right wasn't she? I do not know one family with more than 4 kids that go to school. All the families I know with 5+ kids homeschool. So really this wasn't a bad assumption, I would definitely make the same one. She was probably just trying to make conversation. Comment #2: Our local school starts today so that was a big topic of conversation between the coach and kids as they were getting to know each other. Coach asked my ds if he was ready for school and he gave her a confused look because we've been doing school for about three weeks. I explained we homeschool and had already started. Fast forward to the end of practice -- coach is giving them a little pep talk, announcing next practice, wishes them a good day at school tomorrow. "Oh, except for Joey, he's homeschooled and he's already been having school for a while now. Aren't you all glad you aren't homeschooled?" This man needs to be educated. He probably thought he was joking- you know, if you were homeschooled you would have started school 3 weeks ago- but the way it came accross might have been negative toward homeschooling. I think your ds should be sure through the season to talk about all the fun things you do, and how he only homeschools for x hours each day so he has lots of time for fun activities, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenaj Posted August 26, 2009 Author Share Posted August 26, 2009 I think this is right. Guys frequently banter in a way that would seem rude to women. I think it can help make people feel more relaxed with each other, if done right. For what it's worth, the coach is a woman. I'm not sure it really matters, but I can see what you're saying. It's interesting because my reaction may have been entirely different if it was a guy - maybe I have my own sterotype issues! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenaj Posted August 26, 2009 Author Share Posted August 26, 2009 I'd be a little irked at the coach though. Make sure your son has a couple of days off when the kids are in the middle of testing or something. Let them see the opposite side of the coin. Ours was at Christmas last year. We were getting ready to leave for Germany for a month and all of the kids friends still had 3 weeks of school. There was more than a little bit of envy going around. After the comment from the coach, I did tell the ladies sitting nearby that my kids were looking forward to a school break when the baby arrives. I'll have to make sure that becomes common knowledge :) I won't tell them that our normal calendar almost always includes starting school the first week of August so that we can take a break around the time the local school starts. My kids love to be outside on the day that the school buses start making their rounds. See, I'm just as rude the other way, I guess - LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shiloh Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 This may not work for you but we continue golf and tennis through the day as the ps kids shuffle off to the bus until the courts and course close at Thanksgiving. :D The golf and tennis mommies are envious but they have their socialization rationale to comfort them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 I wouldn't necessarily think she was being rude or insensitive. She may have been trying to fill a moment made awkward by the other moms standing there. I've had teachers say similar things, which I appreciated since I was getting looks from others standing there. They finally asked, "So which school is M going to?" Uh, we homeschool. The dreaded dead silence. Then, from one, "Well, that's okay. My husband and I are public school teachers but we send our daughter to private school. Everyone has to make the best decision for their kids." Sigh, thanks for your permission. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 None of these things would particularly bother me. While possibly a bit insensitive, it doesn't sound like anyone was intentionally rude. People say stupid things all the time without intending insult, myself and almost everyone I know included. Try giving them the benefit of the doubt; it makes for less aggrevation. :iagree: I only know three families of 4+ that send their children to traditional school, the rest homeschool. I would have asked the same question. Actually, I did ask this question to a mother of four recently and she was offended because she doesn't homeschool so I guess it goes both ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 All of the big families I know send their kids to school. The few I talk to on a regular basis all joke that I can homeschool, because I only have a few dcs. They, on the other hand, could not possibly homeschool, because they have too many. Interesting to see it's the opposite in (most) other places :) I would've been a little irked, at first, about the coach's comment (the other wouldn't have bothered me at all, I would've found it curious and that's it). Reading it a few times, I can see he's making a joke because your dc has already been doing school (aren't you other kids lucky you didn't have to start already). That was probably obvious to others, but it took me a minute to "get" the joke. Eh, it wasn't the nicest thing to say, but not really worth any effort at anger. Good luck, hopefully once folks get to know you they'll stop tripping all over their own tongues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.