runninmommy Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 (edited) Sex inside a marriage is beautiful an PURE. Sex is a gift from GOD that one can share with their spouse to show LOVE and Gratitude and Closeness and Pleasure. Sex is a beautiful and natural thing that is shared between a husband and wife. Songs of Solomon is the most beautiful thing in the bible. Sex outside of marriage has Consequences. And...................................... I teach all the above to my children. Oh, and the word "pure" does not bother me in the least! Just Sayin..... Edited July 20, 2009 by runninmommy clarification. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runninmommy Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 Guess it is not a very popular stance. That's okay. I was never very popular. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 ?????:blink: "Not a very popular stance?" And you assumed that, why, exactly? And if we're honest, I"m sure you knew that, didn't you? But if you were hoping that legions of other Christians would chime in with, "ME TOO!" affirmations, I"m sure they will. However, it might be worth noting that it's not a solely Christian viewpoint. Lots of folks, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Pagan, atheist, whatever, share those views. Astrid (who likes you just fine, runninmommy) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Adding to what runninmommy said, Purity isn't only about the act of s*x. It's also about what you put into your mind, what you think about and how you behave, to yourself and others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runninmommy Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 Awww. Astrid. I like you just fine too. No, not assuming other Christians would chime in, just, just sayin that some of us teach all aspects of sexuality, consequences, choices, and that sex is beautiful inside of marraige. Sex is healthy. Sex is pure. Sex is a gift. It is great, and wonderful and a blessing. life has consequences. Life is full of choices. Sex is worth waiting for. I will not encourage my son or daughter to engage in sex (or kissing or petting or just to the brink) outside of marriage because it encourages activities and a life that is not wholesome. This viewpoint encompasses many different faiths, not just christian. I just wanted to put that out there. Just b/c I believe this does not mean I am unintelligent or close minded. It means that I understand the consequences of sex and I want to protect my children from the hurt and turmoil sex outside of a committed relationship results in. Sex can be healthy when brought into the right kind of committed and wholesome relationship. I personally do not understand encouraging my child to kiss, pet, or play with fire when they are so fragile in their understanding of sex and love. hmm....maybe I just wanted to vent. Why expose my child to something before they are really capable of fully understanding? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Awww. Astrid. I like you just fine too. No, not assuming other Christians would chime in, just, just sayin that some of us teach all aspects of sexuality, consequences, choices, and that sex is beautiful inside of marraige. Sex is healthy. Sex is pure. Sex is a gift. It is great, and wonderful and a blessing. life has consequences. Life is full of choices. Sex is worth waiting for. I will not encourage my son or daughter to engage in sex (or kissing or petting or just to the brink) outside of marriage because it encourages activities and a life that is not wholesome. This viewpoint encompasses many different faiths, not just christian. I just wanted to put that out there. Just b/c I believe this does not mean I am unintelligent or close minded. It means that I understand the consequences of sex and I want to protect my children from the hurt and turmoil sex outside of a committed relationship results in. Sex can be healthy when brought into the right kind of committed and wholesome relationship. I personally do not understand encouraging my child to kiss, pet, or play with fire when they are so fragile in their understanding of sex and love. hmm....maybe I just wanted to vent. Why expose my child to something before they are really capable of fully understanding? :iagree: Well said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Just b/c I believe this does not mean I am unintelligent or close minded. Hmmm.....I must have missed a thread somewhere. Was this stated or insinuated? It's completely ridiculous. I'm sorry you felt the need to affirm your views publicly. It's sad to me that sex has become so "merchandized." I have no idea whether or not you have sons, but they will no doubt grow up to be wonderful, kind, gentle husbands and fathers who treasure their wives and children. You're doing a great job, RM. Kudos to you! Astrid:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Guess it is not a very popular stance. That's okay. I was never very popular. Maybe people just weren't overly interested in commenting on your thoughts on sex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runninmommy Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 Hmmm.....I must have missed a thread somewhere. Was this stated or insinuated? It's completely ridiculous. I'm sorry you felt the need to affirm your views publicly. It's sad to me that sex has become so "merchandized." I have no idea whether or not you have sons, but they will no doubt grow up to be wonderful, kind, gentle husbands and fathers who treasure their wives and children. You're doing a great job, RM. Kudos to you! Astrid:001_smile: Astrid, I love your way with words and the way in which you express yourself. It is respectful and sweet and so succinct. I did feel the need to express a different viewpoint than one stated earlier on "purity" I have two boys. I don't know wether I am doing a good job or not. I guess time will tell. When do we ever know that we did the right thing? I just know I want them (the boys) and my daughter to understand what marraige and sex and commitment involves. It is not to be taken lightly. When it is (taken lightly) it leads to heartache and regret and turmoil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runninmommy Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 Maybe people just weren't overly interested in commenting on your thoughts on sex. Guess not. That is okay with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 I don't know wether I am doing a good job or not. I guess time will tell. When do we ever know that we did the right thing? Heck, I"ve only got one child, a girl, and I feel successful every day that she manages to throw her used towel in the hamper and remembers to check the water in the chicken coop! :001_smile: Baby steps, right? Keep on keepin' on, Runninmommy! Astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Awww. Astrid. I like you just fine too. No, not assuming other Christians would chime in, just, just sayin that some of us teach all aspects of sexuality, consequences, choices, and that sex is beautiful inside of marraige. Sex is healthy. Sex is pure. Sex is a gift. It is great, and wonderful and a blessing. life has consequences. Life is full of choices. Sex is worth waiting for. I will not encourage my son or daughter to engage in sex (or kissing or petting or just to the brink) outside of marriage because it encourages activities and a life that is not wholesome. This viewpoint encompasses many different faiths, not just christian. I just wanted to put that out there. Just b/c I believe this does not mean I am unintelligent or close minded. It means that I understand the consequences of sex and I want to protect my children from the hurt and turmoil sex outside of a committed relationship results in. Sex can be healthy when brought into the right kind of committed and wholesome relationship. :iagree: Just like I believe that the Bible is to be taken word for word with nothing left out or altered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Well, I don't think many Christians would claim me, but I still agree with you. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 I was busy at work. I would agree, but not that I am christian or anything. And heck, I especially like Song of Solomon. Shhhh - don't tell anybody that atheists read too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Sex outside of marriage has Consequences. Umm, yes, it does. So does absolutely everything. I have two beautiful children from sex outside of marriage and I don't regret them one bit :) The consequences seem fine to me. I wasn't struck down by lightning or anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Sex inside a marriage is beautiful an PURE. Sex is a gift from GOD that one can share with their spouse to show LOVE and Gratitude and Closeness and Pleasure. Sex is a beautiful and natural thing that is shared between a husband and wife. Songs of Solomon is the most beautiful thing in the bible. Sex outside of marriage has Consequences. And...................................... I teach all the above to my children. Oh, and the word "pure" does not bother me in the least! Just Sayin..... :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Umm, yes, it does. So does absolutely everything. I have two beautiful children from sex outside of marriage and I don't regret them one bit :) The consequences seem fine to me. I wasn't struck down by lightning or anything. I'm pretty proud of my 15yo "consequence" too. Darn proud actually; he's a pretty cool kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runninmommy Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 I'm pretty proud of my 15yo "consequence" too. Darn proud actually; he's a pretty cool kid. Oh, please don't misunderstand me. I did not mean mistake. I meant consequences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Oh, please don't misunderstand me. I did not mean mistake. I meant consequences. You mean negative consequences. And my point is I don't feel there were any. Well apart from the look on my mothers face when we told her :( But even she got over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runninmommy Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 You mean negative consequences. And my point is I don't feel there were any. Well apart from the look on my mothers face when we told her :( But even she got over it. I'm glad it worked for you. :001_smile: Sadly, that is not the norm. Especially for very young women who are not capable or prepared for the responsibility of caring for a child. Mentally, physically or financially. And not just having a baby..there are so many other consequences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 I'm not sure I'd say it's not the norm. I'd say many people have negative consequences from pre marital sex and many people don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUV2EDU Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Oh, please don't misunderstand me. I did not mean mistake. I meant consequences. I think a lot of people think that the word "consequences" is associated with only a bad result of something. It can also produce positive results. It all depends how one perceives it. Cause Mary had sex outside of marriage Negative Consequences Mary had a baby without the support from the baby's father *Note: The baby is not the negative result. The negative result is the lack of support from the baby's father. Positive Consequences Mary had a beautiful baby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsrevmeg Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 I think a lot of people think that the word "consequences" is associated with only a bad result of something. It can also produce positive results. It all depends how one perceives it.Cause Mary had sex outside of marriage Negative Consequences Mary had a baby without the support from the baby's father *Note: The baby is not the negative result. The negative result is the lack of support from the baby's father. Positive Consequences Mary had a beautiful baby I think this was very well spoken. I am the result of a baby outside of marriage. I have seen throughout my life the consequences. I have seen the struggles of a single mother raising a child. I have seen what it is like to be the child whose mother is constantly out on dates, constantly got a new boyfriend, etc. I have not always been a sexually pure person, but there is no way now that I would be willing to do anything outside of my marriage. I have seen the heartbreak caused by friends who do not take their marriage vows seriously and have needlessly hurt their spouse and children by having affairs. I think that sex is a wonderful, beautiful thing IN THE RIGHT CONTEXT. We are teaching our boys that it is best to wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Sadly, that is not the norm. Especially for very young women who are not capable or prepared for the responsibility of caring for a child. Mentally, physically or financially. Mother Nature/Life/Existence/God designed us to be at our reproductive peak by our late teens. I think that is why so many babes are born before people are really "ready" and why sooooo many "accidents" happen- the primal urge goes far deeper than social conditioning. I think actually we can be emotionally or psychologically ready by that age, but our culture is in conflict with our natural urges. I just think there is way too much focus on all the problems....my kids (yes, both) were a surprise and an accident but it all turned out well....and I personally know several similar cases in my circles. And my best friend went through a very serious marriage arrangement, got immeditaely pregnant, and was separated when the babe was 9 months old and has struggled as a single mother ever since. I think the issues that have been up on the boards lately (dating, abortion etc) get obscured by too many absolutes (all people who have abortions suffer terribly, all babes born out of wedlock suffer) and once you start talking in absolutes or near absolutes you lose all credibility. You can state your opinion- who can argue with an opinion?- but when you state emotional positions as if they are fact and truth, its just messy and doesn't make for clear conversation. Its like, people are so against babes born out of wedlock because of all these beliefs they have about them....but then a couple of people come along and say, hey, that wasnt my reailty, and suddenly its like,well, we must be the exception. Is that true? Not in my experience, personally, but I dont actually know the statistics and there arent any anyway. No one can know...but people act as if they really do know. They just can't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runninmommy Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 (edited) Mother Nature/Life/Existence/God designed us to be at our reproductive peak by our late teens. I think that is why so many babes are born before people are really "ready" and why sooooo many "accidents" happen- the primal urge goes far deeper than social conditioning. I think actually we can be emotionally or psychologically ready by that age, but our culture is in conflict with our natural urges. I just think there is way too much focus on all the problems....my kids (yes, both) were a surprise and an accident but it all turned out well....and I personally know several similar cases in my circles. And my best friend went through a very serious marriage arrangement, got immeditaely pregnant, and was separated when the babe was 9 months old and has struggled as a single mother ever since. I think the issues that have been up on the boards lately (dating, abortion etc) get obscured by too many absolutes (all people who have abortions suffer terribly, all babes born out of wedlock suffer) and once you start talking in absolutes or near absolutes you lose all credibility. You can state your opinion- who can argue with an opinion?- but when you state emotional positions as if they are fact and truth, its just messy and doesn't make for clear conversation. Its like, people are so against babes born out of wedlock because of all these beliefs they have about them....but then a couple of people come along and say, hey, that wasnt my reailty, and suddenly its like,well, we must be the exception. Is that true? Not in my experience, personally, but I dont actually know the statistics and there arent any anyway. No one can know...but people act as if they really do know. They just can't. I completely disagree with your first sentence. This may have been true hundreds of years ago but certainly not today, not in our culture. I stated my beliefs in reactions to someone else's beliefs that were at the opposite end of the spectrum. Not saying my belief is an absolute. It is not emotional either, it is biblically based. There are exceptions to every norm. My belief is that teaching our children to be flippant with sex is harmful. Every single choice has a consequence. Be it good or bad. The decisions one makes affect the person and the people around them. I do not believe anything I stated makes me loose one ounce of credibility. Edited July 20, 2009 by runninmommy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CookieMonster Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Guess it is not a very popular stance. That's okay. I was never very popular. I was asleep when you wrote this. Just chimin' in now to say :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUV2EDU Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Awww. Astrid. I like you just fine too. No, not assuming other Christians would chime in, just, just sayin that some of us teach all aspects of sexuality, consequences, choices, and that sex is beautiful inside of marraige. Sex is healthy. Sex is pure. Sex is a gift. It is great, and wonderful and a blessing. life has consequences. Life is full of choices. Sex is worth waiting for. I will not encourage my son or daughter to engage in sex (or kissing or petting or just to the brink) outside of marriage because it encourages activities and a life that is not wholesome. This viewpoint encompasses many different faiths, not just christian. I just wanted to put that out there. Just b/c I believe this does not mean I am unintelligent or close minded. It means that I understand the consequences of sex and I want to protect my children from the hurt and turmoil sex outside of a committed relationship results in. Sex can be healthy when brought into the right kind of committed and wholesome relationship. I personally do not understand encouraging my child to kiss, pet, or play with fire when they are so fragile in their understanding of sex and love. hmm....maybe I just wanted to vent. Why expose my child to something before they are really capable of fully understanding? :iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 LOL! I'm right there with you, Karen!! Secret's safe with me.......... :tongue_smilie: astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 I think this was very well spoken. I am the result of a baby outside of marriage. I have seen throughout my life the consequences. I have seen the struggles of a single mother raising a child. I have seen what it is like to be the child whose mother is constantly out on dates, constantly got a new boyfriend, etc. I have not always been a sexually pure person, but there is no way now that I would be willing to do anything outside of my marriage. I have seen the heartbreak caused by friends who do not take their marriage vows seriously and have needlessly hurt their spouse and children by having affairs. I think that sex is a wonderful, beautiful thing IN THE RIGHT CONTEXT. We are teaching our boys that it is best to wait. My dd was born outside of marraige. This weekend we were watching the sparring about the health care reform and part of it was about abortion, which led to talking about unwanted, unplanned pregnancies. Dd watched, I watched, I argued with the tv (bad habit) and then dd blew her stacks. I am not an unplanned pregnancy! I am not an unwanted pregnancy! I am not a consequence! I am a person, just like everybody else! Well, we talked. I hadn't realized she identified with this so strongly :( She knows she was a surprise and she knows I was young. There are countless positives that came about in my life, because of my dd. She knows that too. Did you ever feel like that? Did you move past it, or does it still feel that way? <---- Going to watch my words even closer now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Main Entry: con·se·quence Listen to the pronunciation of consequence Pronunciation: \ˈkän(t)-sə-ˌkwen(t)s, -kwən(t)s\ Function: noun Date: 14th century 1: a conclusion derived through logic : inference 2: something produced by a cause or necessarily following from a set of conditions <the economic consequences of the war> 3 a: importance with respect to power to produce an effect <a mistake of no consequence> b: social importance 4: the appearance of importance ; especially : self-importance Why are people looking to be offended by the term "consequence"? My son was born out of wedlock. He was the consequence of my immorality. Was he a mistake? Nope. He is an example of God taking my sin of immorality and using the consequence to bless my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runninmommy Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 Main Entry: con·se·quence Listen to the pronunciation of consequence Pronunciation: \ˈkän(t)-sə-ˌkwen(t)s, -kwən(t)s\ Function: noun Date: 14th century 1: a conclusion derived through logic : inference 2: something produced by a cause or necessarily following from a set of conditions <the economic consequences of the war> 3 a: importance with respect to power to produce an effect <a mistake of no consequence> b: social importance 4: the appearance of importance ; especially : self-importance Why are people looking to be offended by the term "consequence"? My son was born out of wedlock. He was the consequence of my immorality. Was he a mistake? Nope. He is an example of God taking my sin of immorality and using the consequence to bless my life. Beautifully said, as usual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Main Entry:con·se·quence Listen to the pronunciation of consequence Pronunciation: \ˈkän(t)-sə-ˌkwen(t)s, -kwən(t)s\ Function: noun Date: 14th century 1: a conclusion derived through logic : inference 2: something produced by a cause or necessarily following from a set of conditions <the economic consequences of the war> 3 a: importance with respect to power to produce an effect <a mistake of no consequence> b: social importance 4: the appearance of importance ; especially : self-importance Why are people looking to be offended by the term "consequence"? My son was born out of wedlock. He was the consequence of my immorality. Was he a mistake? Nope. He is an example of God taking my sin of immorality and using the consequence to bless my life. We discussed that. It never occured to me that she would identify with a part of the debate like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsrevmeg Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Did you ever feel like that? Did you move past it, or does it still feel that way? It was really bad when I was younger. Back then, I was not the norm. My parents never married. My mother is 16 years older than me. It made me really want to grow up to have the "normal" family with two parents and their kids. I think it makes me compassionate toward children of single parents and more determined not to let my children experience those feelings. I did get married young, but it was not a spur-of-the-moment thing. We have had our up and down times, but divorce was never an option because we did not want our children growing up without an intact family. I understand that things do not always have a happy ending, so please I hope that nobody thinks I am say "If you get a divorce you are bad" or anything like that. My sister in law got divorced because it was the best thing she could do to protect her daughter. My point is, growing up like I did made me determined not to make the same mistakes she did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 I think a lot of people think that the word "consequences" is associated with only a bad result of something. It can also produce positive results. It all depends how one perceives it.Cause Mary had sex outside of marriage Negative Consequences Mary had a baby without the support from the baby's father *Note: The baby is not the negative result. The negative result is the lack of support from the baby's father. Positive Consequences Mary had a beautiful baby :iagree: Well put! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessedfamily Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 The word consequence just means a result. As in: The consequences of eating right, I hope, will be better health. Whether or not there were any negative physical consequences from adultery/fornication, I personally would be more concerned with the spiritual consequences. (Though God is a redeemer.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Oh, please don't misunderstand me. I did not mean mistake. I meant consequences. :grouphug: I know what you meant, & I still agree with your op. And I did get pregnant with my ds17 when I was 16. I know that sex outside of marriage is wrong, and I knew it then. I made that choice. Do I regret having my son? No way. Do I still think the act that got him here is wrong? Yep, but, praise God, he forgives and forgets, and He saw fit to turn my mistake into a blessing. There are consequences, though...like having to face your children when you tell them that sex is for marriage only & you have to explain why they should wait when you didn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 It was really bad when I was younger. Back then, I was not the norm. My parents never married. My mother is 16 years older than me. It made me really want to grow up to have the "normal" family with two parents and their kids. I think it makes me compassionate toward children of single parents and more determined not to let my children experience those feelings. I did get married young, but it was not a spur-of-the-moment thing. We have had our up and down times, but divorce was never an option because we did not want our children growing up without an intact family. I understand that things do not always have a happy ending, so please I hope that nobody thinks I am say "If you get a divorce you are bad" or anything like that. My sister in law got divorced because it was the best thing she could do to protect her daughter. My point is, growing up like I did made me determined not to make the same mistakes she did. That's what I'm hoping. And you did, eventually, figure out how to separate yourself from all the gobbledy gook? She's a wonderful person, I just don't want her to suffer MORE because I was a putz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Sex has consequences, whether you're married or not. A marriage certificate, a wedding ceremony, God's blessings or whatever does not mean two people won't have sexual problems. There seems to be the idea that people who engage in pre-marital sex are promiscuous. Now if your definition of a promiscuous person is a person who engage in pre-marital sex, then obviously such people are. If your definition of a promiscuous person is someone who sleeps with more than one person, then not all people who engage in pre-marital sex are promiscuous. I'm not married, but hubby there is my one and only. In my situation, the consequence for waiting until I was married would have been breaking up with him and finding someone who would marry me! Or forcing him to marry me, and that wouldn't have been romantic, would it? Anyway, I'm being seriously waffly. Blame it on lack of sleep. Those child shaped consequences keep me awake. If marriage could cure those sorts of consequences, I'd drag that man of mine down to the courthouse today!! Romance isn't important right now. Sleep is! :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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