Neat thread and I've enjoyed reading the honest, transparent responses from you all. Most definitely, I grew up poor, though I was blessed with a mother that knew how to live within her means, meagre as they were. I might have had an inkling that we were poor by highschool, but I never gave it much thought. I loved playing basketball, and it didn't cost any money to run a 10k everyday, to go to the library often. I had friends, though they never came to visit me at our dilapitated trailer. I knew for sure we were poor after spending a year in Denmark as a Rotary Exchange Student. The Rotary Club paid for all of my expenses because they wanted to get the program up and running. That trip changed my life. I really knew for sure that we were poor during my university days spent at a small, prestigious East Coast university. By then, my family poverty was something I giggled about under my breath. My university friends lived with such excess; sailed home to their mansions in Bermuda/Barbados; drank their faces off every weekend; partied like they were looking for something. I started to wonder just how 'rich' these rich kids really were and then as I got older, I realized the joy and the gift of not approaching life with an attitude of entitlement. I possess life skills that grew out of my childhood poverty; skills like sewing, altering clothing, making something out of nothing, being content with nothing, the joy of exercise. Entitlement is a scary, hard to shed attitude and in some ways, I'm thankful that I grew up how I did. I had no allusions as to how hard life could be, and the path my husband and I took together with real estate and renovations was stinking hard . . . but hard work/surviving was what I knew so it didn't offend me deeply that this dirty, disgusting work of renovations was our ticket to debt-reduction. Warmly, Tricia

On the flip side, your discouraged daughter gave the boys the most authentic smiles I've ever seen on young men in Christmas portraits. Their eyes are shining; old enough to know this portrait taking session isn't going so well but young enough to find it hilarious. Speaks well of your family, your flexibility and unconditional love! I'd probably be blowing steam out my ears but you seem to have kept yourself together! Way to go! T

Chiming in once more re: WiiFit and long, cold winters. If the kids can play a 1/2 hour of Wii fit and break a sweat . . . boxing, balancing, DDR . . . a game that can break a good sweat than I'm up for that. In my mind, it's more about the exercise and less about sitting on their butts with a screened-out brain. And if I could figure out a way to power my television via the treadmill, they could watch a program every afternoon. My biggest beef with screens isn't really screen content [within reason] . . . it's the lethargic, don't wanna do anything else, can't get moving, prefer easy rather than engaging all day long that makes me crazy. Hovering, waiting for screen-time makes me flop with defeat.

Hi LauraGB, My kids weren't entertaining themselves well when we had some screens everyday. The screen option was so tempting . . . like they walked around with perma-screen-fog, even though they weren't playing alot everyday. This is my current approach to policing screens. We used to do the 45 minutes a day routine, but that didn't work out at all. I had to police it hard, had to remind, remind again, speak sternly, yell, yell again, Screech. It made me crazy. We transitioned to Mon-Fri @ 4 pm is a complete screen ban, NXT research being the exception. Friday night is Family Movie Night, we so avoid the fight of who's doing what. They train Saturday morning and we're on the go Saturday afternoons. That leaves Sat. evening and Sunday late afternoon to play screens. If I'm feeling like an energetic parent, we go skating on Sunday afternoons/evenings. All that to say that that I don't have to police during the week, and I step up my fun mothering on the weekend so they'd rather be playing with the fam than screening out. It motivates me to get moving because I know it's better for me and them. Entertaining themselves has become much easier! Food for thought. T

You hivers are something else, in all the good ways. I'm nervous about taking the plunge, but we bought the NXT II for Christmas and a loaded laptop, so I guess we're going for it. I think we have enough bright kids in our community that we could give this a go. Now, for a coach. Just praying for a coach. I'm confident that my brain can't get there, but who knows?? Thanks so much! [still checking out the links from above!] T

THank you, Lovelies. I'll check out your info and keep on researching. I'm married to a civil engineer and we have a college prof at our church that I'll contact as well. We have a couple textbooks but not any of the ones mentionned above. Thank you! Warmly, Tricia

Hello Hive, We had an opportunity to visit a FLL competition . . . Who are our Hive FLL Families? We're considering putting in a team for 2010; we have the gear but I wonder how the kids learn the ins and outs of the challenges. Have you had learning success playing the FLL competitions? I'd like to hear some real-life experiences about FLL. Warmly, Tricia

Thank you for making this point again, Joanne. Earlier in the thread, I agreed with another poster about one person being enough to get the ball rolling, start the change in the atmosphere of a marriage. A woman can respect her husband if she believes him to be a good-willed man. Obviously, abuse, addiction, affairs change the nature of the game. Perhaps I am one of the lucky ones; after 11 years of marriage, my husband's heart has softened to the point that we are getting to the bottom of the crazy . . . but it's not been a walk in the park. T

Yes, that's right, Lovedtodeath. I agree with you.

I all-the-way agree with you. Evil or non-responsive spouses leaves the partner in a very difficult situation; an uphill battle to recover what was lost. I'm starting to think that recovery is a life-long journey. [is it, Joanne? Do you think any of us ever come to a place where we feel ok in our skin?] Warmly, Tricia

Hi Sputterduck, these off the cuff remarks of mine . . . grrrrr. I'm simply saying that for me, I held on to the idea that I would "respect" my husband in response to his "loving" me, and not before. I had to grapple with the idea that respect was something I could do, even if I didn't feel well-loved or he wasn't acting in a manner deserving of respect. Certainly, I've no pie-in-the-sky idea that it always works out all the time for all people. We've been at this crazy for 11 years and I'm thankful that things are starting to fall off us that have immobilized us for many years. I'm sorry that your situation turned out differently. Warmly, T

Remember that I'm not uber-conservative and dh and I live "equally" together. From where I stand, "submission" is really about respect. I respect my husband. Not my natural default. Dh loves me. Not his natural default. I started with respect three years ago, after reading Love & Respect and The Surrendered Wife. Respect is POWERFUL. After three years of connecting with my husband in a language he could understand [respect], we're finally getting to the root of so many of the deeply buried issues that were haunting our marriage. Hope grows out of respect. I firmly believe it only takes one person to change a marriage. Warmly, Tricia

I didn't read the whole thread. Delete. Delete. Delete.

I think these are all fabulous suggestions. I also try to have behaviour kids come to my house for lunch, get to know their parents, make a point to have a conversation either before or after church. If a kid knows you love him, he'll be more apt to receive a gentle correction and stay the course during the lesson. I also make great use of joking around with behavious kids. I understand that disciplining a church kid is a battle that I will lose every. single. time. L/L situation if I engage, because the result will be me sending the child upstairs. A W/W is when I look at the child as a little person who needs me to build a spiritual bridge towards him. I take on behaviour kids as a blessing from God - they help me see His true nature towards me. I'm that rascally little kid that can't sit still and won't receive direction from Him, yet He chases me and pursues me with relentless abandon. I get to practice that with kids who just can't get there with behaviour. Warmly, Tricia

When I started five years ago, I was sure that if you were a homeschooler, we'd be instant BFF. Wow, was I ever shocked when I found out length of the homeschooling perspective . . . from uber strict, conservative to uber unschooling and beyond. Who knew?

Maybe a few more of those MUS cakes . . . and tell those littles if they want to share in the snacking goodness, clean up their own mess and stop that squabbling already. Otherwise, Mama is locking herself in her bedroom with the cake and a nice pot of tea! xo

jasonproject.org We're supposedly "free-ranging" science this semester but the kids are loving jasonproject.org online curr. Ecology --- we just finished some posters about biomes, abiotic and biotic factors, community, population -- taught by real scientists and it's *free*

Print it out. I might go the Staples route next year for the TM. I wouldn't bind the workbooks; I 3 hole punch and use a fat binder. We use graph paper as our student note book and then insert along with the workbook page. Sometimes, I do a little extra teaching on a certain topic so those papers get inserted as well. MEP is a hit with all three Peachlets . . . my 6 year old loves playing with the rods, thinking like a "big girl" due to the early introduction of greater than/less than signs. Both boys (mid year 4 and just starting year 3) absolutely love MEP. There is no groaning or moaning when it comes to math. We don't do any other math; MEP is it for us. I print out everything and use the TM daily. If you get stuck, there's a great yahoo MEP group. Warmly, Tricia

The schedule is made for you - M-F plans. We do everything included . . . teaching time and independant work. Corrections sometimes take a few extra minutes; I correct immediately after the boys finish their page and we talk about any mistakes or misunderstandings on the same day. We also only use graph paper to do MEP . . . we spend a few minutes everyday setting up a math page. I try to stay a few steps ahead of my older son by looking over the lessons - I got caught last year and had no. idea. how to work one of the questions. I have to stay on top of the "math language" as well. For our family, we don't "live and die" on the back of the MEP schedule. We do math everyday but we don't line up exactly with the TM. Warmly, Tricia

What's that saying: Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. I think you're underselling yourself by calling your situation "lucky" -- I think your dh was incredibly wise with his real-estate decisions. Hats off! Tricia

Hmmmm, throwing in my few cents worth that 'perspective' is key. If you see yourself as 'average' in the midst of the marathon running, good mom's, mostly staying on top of life . . . then perhaps average is exactly where you want to be?!?! Marathon Mama's are something else, you know -- a breed of their own and not to be compared with the Regular Jo's!! If you stretch your perspective to see a larger spectrum, I suspect your proclaimed average grade, which your fellow hivers have upgraded to a B+ grade, would soar to a BIG FAT "A". Contentment is such a personal journey of self-acceptance and self-care. Coming from a "used-to-be-a-runner" to a woman who has gotten on and off the wagon more times than I can count, I see you as inspirational, steady, and altogether lovely. Warmly, T

Hi there, we use MEP as our only math curr. I printed out the workbooks, the TM and the "class" set of helps. On average, I spend 30 minutes (sometimes more) with each child doing the teaching part and they spend 20 - 40 minutes doing the worksheet independantly. We do *everything* that is laid out in MEP. I'm thrilled with the program - I always said I wouldn't start a formal math program for a first grader. Never say never because I'm starting YR 1 with my daughter on Tuesday. I have no hesitation recommending MEP if you want a math program that is challenging, spiral (in the sense that it comes back to a specific topic over and over again, with increasing difficulty each time), and a healthy blend of teacher-directed and independant student work. There were a couple sticky moments for me in YR4 math, but the MEP yahoo group is beyond lovely and helpful. T

I love what you've offered for advice, Laura. What I've highlighted in blue might just get stencilled on our school room wall!!!!!

There is deep, supernatural love and joy that accompanies unfathomable pain and heartache. I was expecting something horrible. I saw two people loving their baby under intense diresse. Not certain I could walk that path with the grace and courage they displayed.