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Sweetpeach

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Everything posted by Sweetpeach

  1. We *always* finish *every* book, activities, map work, special projects and supplementary reading. :lol: :lol: :lol: I'm aghast at the question even being asked. :D:D Sorry, slinking back to my regular morning tea. Tricia
  2. Well, we do have the famous Alexander Keith brewery here in Halifax. Wouldn't that be a great church announcement for the homeschooling gang . . . I betcha the daddies would be all over taking the lead for that field trip. :D
  3. Ah, the beautiful and horrible day of tension . . . Father's Day. I generally have a little cry in the card aisle; happy to have married a man worthy of such a touching and heart-felt card. Teary because I could never buy a Father's Day card for my dad, and really mean it. But then I read this: http://aholyexperience.com (the second blog about children forgiving parents really spoke to me). and I remind myself that my father had a horrible growing up, and despite all of his trauma and pain, he's a good man and uses the tools he has to do the best he can. A year ago, I watched my dear girlfriend grieve the death of her father and I cried right along with her . . . abandonment does feel like a death and I'd never really felt it. I'm thankful for the peek into a functioning daddy-daughter relationship and even more thankful that my children have a committed, loving, kind Daddy. Yes, Heather, I hate it and love it right along with you. Warmly, Tricia
  4. I'm so sorry you're walking this path. Painful, gut-wrenching choices. Again, not an atheist, but I want to reassure you that people mean well, even though they don't come across well. A dear friend of ours lost her infant baby due to complications from Downs . . . she is a woman of faith, and I clearly remember her venting and ranting about how callous people could be, though she knew they didn't mean to be. Though she navigated the religious one-liners with tremendous grace [i'm quite certain I would have dropped the gloves had I been in her situation], I know it still caused her pain. I'm sorry you're experiencing pain on top of pain. Lovingly, Tricia
  5. Hi Colleen, I ordered the Ellen McHenry "Carbon Chemistry" for our science afternoons . . . you are welcome to take a peek at the cd when it gets here. Warmly, T
  6. Thanks for the book rec -- I too am runnning for a library hold!
  7. This year, I spent money on MCT LA! [i'm a groupie - where can I order my t-shirt?]
  8. Well, you could go the 'hard labour' route :) or, as an alternative, you could find some sports or athletic endeavours that tap them out, physically. A year ago, my boys started paddling, and in the wintertime, they ran, lifted weights, pushed into cardio, realized they could run 7 k without stopping . . . and wouldn't you know it, that aggressive, bear-cub, never-stop energy found an outlet. They are much more enjoyable to live with. T
  9. We're not committed to hs'ing through highschool, but we're not opposed, either. We love our family life right now . . . we like the balance/joy/learning that it affords us, but the day will come when our kids want to do high school and we're perfectly fine with that. On the other hand, our kids love paddling and they will have opportunities to escape the cold Canadian winter and paddle in Florida . . . if that were the case, we'd continue homeschooling as long as they were paddling. Homeschooling makes us all happy. It doesn't define us. We're all so much more than the academic choices we make for our children. T
  10. No pricey extras here. Single mom. Raised in a small town, however, and played school-league basketball since 5th grade so I didn't realize until just recently that had the sports not been "free" and had the school not arranged transportation, I would never have had the priviledge of being involved in extra-cirricular activities. I see great value in sports, art, music . . . and value having the tribe of coaches, artists, piano teachers who are pulling our children into deeper waters. I like "sharing" my children with the greater community. It's such a joy to see them latch onto a life-skill that we've talked and talked and talked about at home but they function in while playing a sport or learning music. I believe in the tribe and I'm thankful that the extra stuff doesn't undermine what we're doing at home but hopefully strengthening our kids into firm adults. All that said, I don't think pricey extras are at. all. necessary. to grow kids into firm adults. It might take some creativity to ensure kids are getting out there, doing life, learning to fly, appreciating challenges and growing through them . . . we're not that creative, so we pay for the pleasure of watching them grow up in the midst of supportive coaches/teachers. People "out there" have so much to pour into our children; the positive stuff sticks and the negative has to be cleaned up and wiped off. Still, we value what life has to offer our kids outside our four walls and beyond our experiences. Warmly, Tricia btw, Angela in Ohio, loved your "performance parenting" comments. See alot of that.
  11. The dust-pan. The cordless phone. Piggy-tail holders. Math TM. Matches. Just off the top of my head. T
  12. FloridaMama -- the coach in question - did he do gynastics at a highly competitive level? state or national level? Does he coach elite athletes and does he see these classes at the Y as 'scouting' for talent? Finally, how old is he? Are you satisfied with his competency as a coach? Do you see this man as part of the tribe of folks who are pulling your son fwd? If so, I would have a conversation with the coach, starting with: Hey, we are really appreciative of the time and energy you spend with the kids here at the Y. My son enjoys your coaching style because you push him to do the next thing, however . . . Explain from there the anxiety bit your son is experiencing and would he consider a 1/2 hour individual session to assist your son in getting over the performance hump with this particular skill. Coaches take so much crap off people -- they get paid very little, people huff on them --- I would try the respect route and see where that got you, if you were invested in sticking it out with this gym. My 2 cents, coming from a bit of a hard-nosed coaching perspective. :) Tricia
  13. Hivers who cough up free treasures -- I do enjoy you! Ipod is full of Treasure Island! Thank you! Tricia
  14. This post resonated with me; homeschooling is how we've chosen to educate our kids in the formal land of academics but I've always said that academics is but a slice of a child's development. The social, spiritual, mental, athletic sharpening happens "out there" . . . outside our four walls . . . I value the tribe of people who are pulling our kids into the next season of growing up. We don't surround ourselves with homeschoolers but like a poster above mentionned, we try to keep an open heart and see who we're attracted to and who's attracted to us. Who we play with as a family is not at all dependant on their educational choices.
  15. I'm in Hornblower's camp . . . and I've learned to bite my tongue with women who mean so much to me. We're all a work in progress. I'm exceptionally careful with who I let into my world . . . and that's a skill I've had to learn over the past years. Boundaries are key for me. I'm sometimes pursued by women, especially church friends, who have expectations of me that I can't meet. In my before-boundaries life, I did my best to keep everyone happy, which left me feeling resentful and angry. I haven't had any crash-and-burns in the past three years, simply because I'm very careful. It took a quite a few tricky situations before I finally got my feet under me in this regard. Drawing boundaries isn't easy, but I've learned not to wear other people's rejection-bits. Painful crash-and-burns with women always teach me lessons about myself that are tough to learn, but certainly have made me more resilient and graceful with myself. Now, if I can learn to manage conflict which arises out of setting careful boundaries, I'll consider myself a true relational champion. :001_smile: Warmly, Tricia
  16. Brilliant summary. This is a hard thing, what you're telling me to do but I know this is the real battle. The people around me can't understand why I feel miserable in my spirit and would like to see me live life with more discipline. I feel really broken and I think food/my waistline is absorbing the pain. I wish I could find a way through the pain in a healthy way. Thank you, Peela. As always, your post oozes kindness. T
  17. Hi there, yes, I definitely want to be free from this crazy. I've always gone at it from "if I weren't lazy, unmotivated, undisciplined, then I wouldn't be struggling here" . . . I've only recently come to accept that food is where I turn. How do I know that? Every couple days, I'll wake up and say, "ok, today is the day" but today is never the day. I haven't been able to step away from food. If I want to be healthier, know how to be healther, have a grid for running, exercising, lifting and completely understand that exercise is great for stress-relief, managing anxiety, a good endorphin kick . . . then why would I not just do that? Daily? Door 1 is a positive lifestyle approach. Door 2 is everything opposite. Yet, I regularly choose Door 2. Afer reading a few books about overeating as an addiction, I can no longer hide from the self-worth bits that are lurking at the surface. It's totally about food. I'm starting to suspect food is the arena where my self-worth problems are fighting back? I want to be free from this. I'm embarassing to be this transparent on an open-forum; people in my immediate community read here, but I've come to the desperate fork in the road and couldn't care less. For a million reasons, I have to start making my health and wellness a priority. I know how to start. I just never finish. Warmly, Tricia
  18. Hi SM, Thank you. I'd have to put on my 'big girl' looners if I were to say this to my people. I'll print this out and have it ready for next time. I'd like to figure some of this out, and manage some of my food behaviour there is a next time. Warmly, Tricia
  19. Hi, Yes, I understand this magic bullet approach you speak of . . . I've let go of the "when I'm thin, then I'll be _________________". I always understand that change, any change begins with me. My trouble is that I understand at the 'philosophical' level how simple it is to attain a healthy weight; I just don't function in that knowledge. What eludes me is how to live my life in a healthy, balanced way. Energy for me, for dh, for my kids and school, for ministry, for play and fun. I feel so inadequate to make all things work that I end up burrowing into a book and snacks in my attempt to 'relax' and turn down the anxiety. Lots of things are changing in my life; boundaries that never existed before. 'Pressing pause' in the midst of my family dynamic. Choosing forgiveness instead of anger/rage/shut-down. This past year, I have questioned my "lovability", asked myself some hard questions about my tendency to self-loathe instead of accept, love, treat myself kindly. Tricky, and it's even trickier to download this angst with my IRL support people; the end of the conversation usually sounds like a trite one-liner. ie: "just stop that now" or "walk in some self-care" or "just don't eat that" or "find something else to do" -- all lovely solutions but not helpful to that deeper thing that seems really painful. Thank you for casting your pearls before me. Warmly, Tricia
  20. I heard about OA a year ago. I took me a long time to break silence with myself and admit that this was a problem I might not be able to solve with white knuckling. I checked out their page a few months ago and followed some links that lead me to a book called Overcoming Overeating. I returned it to the library but need to purchase a copy. I've done the white-knuckle/uber-disciplined approach but it never lasts. I feel like I need to dig out the roots of this wildly destructive behaviour. I've read about the 12 step program . . . admitting that I can't solve this myself is a tricky spot to be. Thanks for the understanding. Warmly, Tricia
  21. Thanks Gals for the book recs. I'll look into all three. Warmly, Tricia
  22. Hello Hivers, A few years ago, I was in a healthier spot with food choices, exercise and even starting to walk in some self-care. It was a day-by-day effort and not easy, but I was finding some success. Lost some weight and generally felt better about myself. About a year and a half ago, I found myself in a perfect storm scenario. I came on staff at our church, very part-time, but engaged in a formal way with ministry. {Harder than I expected}. Church is different now. It's not all bad but it's definitely been an adjustment. A few months later, I found myself in the middle of a double-edged bomb-drop that was personal in nature and tricky to navigate. {not something I want to lay out on an open forum board} It's been almost a year with no regular exercise, poor [compulsive] food choices and overall feeling poorly about myself. Anxiety is more difficult to manage and I feel stuck. Food is my comfort of choice. In the last month or two, my dh and a dear friend have both made comments about my food choices. Things like: 'put that cookie down' . . . 'don't eat that' . . . 'you know that's a poor choice' etc etc. I'm well aware that my food choices are fattening me. I know these people love me and are trying to encourage me to discipline myself. Somehow, all it does is make me feel like a bad girl. How can I explain to my husband or my friend that food is a dragon I need to slay. Would someone say to an alcoholic - 'don't drink that' and expect that to help, somehow? I know change begins with me, but I've not been able to change this time. I can't get my act together. I know how to eat well and exercise. I'm not. Warmly, Tricia
  23. Precious post. Sacred, even. Academic ability is truly a small slice of overall development. Blessings, Tricia
  24. Gently offer this thought . . . we've made celebrating our children's birthday parties a family affair, first and foremost. As parents, we want our children to be celebrated but I feel like that's primarily a family domain. I've been in situations when I've felt very pressured to have my children to attend a child's birthday party; it seemed like the child would have been seriously discouraged if he hadn't had a roomful of kids to celebrate him. Like some o/p's have mentioned, maybe start laying a foundation now that having friends isn't about having people at a birthday party. We're always telling our children that special friendship connections are sacred and sometimes we have to wait a bit longer than we'd like but the wait is well worth it. Sometimes, it's just a matter of teaching a different perspective on friendship and helping our kids accept that having a couple of true friends is better than a roomful of acquaintances. Warmly, Tricia
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