Great to know there are people out there who don't buy into the mentality of "Western Waste!" A small house means you bump into each other more often, which means you get to love each other harder. Alrighty, Hivers . . . raise your glass of java and join in the chorus of toasting our Boardie Friend, Nest of 3!!!! Hooray Hooray Hooray. Just so you know, my MIL calls us "money hungry" and regularly asks us "when will enough be enough" in relation to our rental properties. It used to hurt; now it rolls. It is what it is . . . expectation is the death of relationship, and so we know longer put ourselves in a position where we look for their affirmation. We're ok just how we are, and they can like it or not. Blessings on you financially-astute folks! Whether or not your dh "just made a job for himself or not" is not the issue . . . you've got your financial house in order and in my opinion, it matters little what path you walked to get where you are right now. You've arrived and that's awesome. Woot Woot!!!!! T

So we'd still need a babysitter for a small group session so that we could debrief kinship . . . sigh. I was kinda hoping you home churchers would turn my world upside-down and tell us that you plow right through into whatever and whereever the Holy Spirit takes you . . . but the reality is, little ears do need some protection in the midst of adult-land.

Reading this thread with interest because we have a weekly small-group (kinship) that we host at our home. A smidge of a hi-jack, but wondering this ---- If the children are there with you, how do you decided if/when to "unfold" with the group about different topics that are relevant in your walk. For ie, we just finished up a book about shame as a stronghold . . . the conversation would sound much different if the children were there v. if they're not; and probably sounds much more different in the presence of teen kids. How does that work in a home-church setting? Do you dive right in with the heavy duty stuff or keep it lighter at the meeting and discuss the nitty-gritty privately with your spouse at home? Curious . . . because I've always wanted to figure out a way to have a meaningful midweek group that included kids. Babysitting fees get expensive and I want to do life/God with my kiddies . . . but not exactly sure what that looks like. T

I think I understand where you're coming from . . . we haven't had an easy time of finding like-minded people, either. Whenever I start to feel discouraged about our lack of bossom buddies, I remind myself how positive it is that I want my kids to have friends. I believe that we'll stumble over the right people and we'll know who they are when we meet them. Until then, we keep our chins up and continue to be inviters and includers. At some point, something has to stick, right? Our best, near and dear friends aren't homeschoolers, but they do reflect similiar values that we hold as important. For me, the hardest part is seeing my children have a need for friendship that I can't fill as their parent, no matter how hard I try. It's a healthy growing edge for kids. . . knowing they want friends but learning to wait and be content in the meantime. Warmly, Tricia

I agree with Angela . . . I don't think it's a homeschool/non-homeschooled issue as much as it's a parenting issue. All kids are subject to mean kids . . . teaching kids to be self-affirming even in the midst of a bully or meanie is vitally important to growing up well. We're walking in this right now . . . I've had to tell my precious 5 year old daughter that it would be better to play alone or with me than with little girls who aren't kind. She either has to assert herself or walk away. Sadly, our children have to be taught to detach from the emotion of mean kids. I'm sorry it's a hard stretch for you. T

Really special story. Amazing, isn't it, that the God of the Universe is also the God who loves everyone of us so perfectly and individually. Thanks for linking us up with this.

Mrs Mungo -- bless you for chiming in. Now we're getting somewhere. No, he's not had any of those tests performed. We're meeting with the Asthma Clinician next week, but she won't be performing any of those more exhaustive tests. I've not "pushed" him to keep up . . . there's only been two practices and it's a recreational league at this point. Equal play, etc. Even though it's for fun and a league where kids first learn the game before they really get competitve, it's still an intense sport. He obviously can't manage the running/physical play and the other kids are easily able to manage the running. You've given me the "lingo" I need so I can ask the right questions. We're in Canada, so I'd probably really have to push for extensive testing of his pulmonary functions. (And wait for who knows how long! sigh) Thanks for your help. T

Hi Kalah, I've heard of Singulair . . . only via TV commercials. I've never heard of Xopenex. The tricky part is my son has never been officially diagnosed as asthmatic. I don't know what sorts of tests I could ask for to figure out the severity of his breathing problems. How would I know if this is an asthma issue or a conditioning issue? Comparatively, only 2 of the 15 kids on the lacrosse team don't play winter hockey or soccer. Thanks for throwing in your helps. T

Hi Lisa, thanks for your response. You've answered some of my questions -- since pressing into the pain (for lack of better words) isn't an option, how do we work with the last 15 minutes of practice which is straight conditioning/running? Is it reasonable for him to say, "my lungs hurt and I can't run anymore?" . . . or how will we work that out? Does your daughter do year-round conditioning to manage competitive swim season? Does it take her longer to warm-up at the beginning of practice? How do you measure your daughter's peak flow? Is this with a hand-held device that the child blows into and pushes the ball to a certain level? Do you own one of those? When your daughter's asthma is flairing, does she continue training? Is this something you manage together to ascertain her lung capacity? What do you to manage the flair? The above poster said "puffers" are for emergency use only . . . what is your best solution for flair times? Forgive me for tossing 20 questions at you . . . watching Matt struggle for air and really struggle to keep up with the other kids has been hard for me. Work ethic on a team is an important lesson to learn . . . but if he physically can't do it at this point, than that's another hill to climb. Thanks for your help. T

Hi Heather, In the past, we've visited an Asthma Clinic . . . the nurse helps us with proper usage of the puffers and does some simple tests to see how his lungs are functioning. Asthma camp - I think there is one in the area, but he's never been labeled "asthmatic" so I don't know if he'd have access under our health plan. We've only ever used puffers, although while visiting Louisiana, he had a complete melt-down and we were hooked up to the machines as a "resuce" situation. Mostly what I wondered is: are the other kids, ALL the other kids in that much better shape than he is OR he doesn't understand how to press into the pain of increasing his endurance OR his lungs really are a bit weaker. Probably a combination of the last two . . . Thanks for your hiver-expertise. Tricia

Hey Hive, Kids, asthma and high-intensity sports . . . my 10 year old just picked up lacrosse three weeks ago. Wow -- tough adjustment with team sports that are highly physical and need strong lungs. Matt has been on puffers on and off again since he was 3ish. I thought he'd grown out of it b/c he hasn't needed a puffer for a couple years now. He obviously can't keep up with the other kids . . . part of that is most of the kids play year-round soccer or hockey. There is some de-conditioning that needs to be addressed but I'm thinking the asthma bit must be coming into play. Has anyone else been here? How did you get your kid over the hump of needing to have stronger lungs and cardio? Any suggestions for warm-ups or daily training that might help overcome the lack of cardio? Do your sporty kids stay on the steroid whether they need it or not? How did you "parent" the asthma dynamic. I don't want Matt to have a cart-blanche to quit whenever he gets a bit tired. How can I teach him to push himself over the hump but also know when to say when? T

You have called Katya by name, given her a Mommy and a Daddy and a family of brothers and sisters to love her. You have loved Katya from the beginning, not accidentally planting a yearning for her in the hearts of Cindy and Bill. You have promised to prosper this Little Life . . . not personality, paperwork or government can hinder what You've already ordained. Draw Closer, Even Closer, Holy Spirit. Inspire Dima and Vimy with creative solutions; Be Mighty in Bill; Be Watchful over Cindy; Your Peace and Comfort over Sara Marie, Grace, Adelyn, Josiah, Cameron and Piper; Your Loving Embrace around Katya; Your Gentle Spirit in the Four Corners of Bill & Cindy's Home; More of You, Father. Be Everything for this Family as they grow by Your Design. I prayed this over email for our dear friends who are pleading with our provincial government to have their adoption pushed fwd . . . I think it's ok to share. Much love to all of you! Tricia

Dr. Fuhrman refers to this study in Eat to Live . . . and I can promise you ETL fundamentally changed how I think about food.

Hi Sebastien, even by changing around the question to read differently, I'm not sure I can get there. MEP gave us a picture diagram to help with solving the problem. Doing the math wasn't the problem . . . it's that I couldn't get the initial equation. Would you please solve your turned about problem, showing your initial equation and how your brain thought about each step? I'd really appreciate that. Warmly, Tricia

Today is one of those days that I truly wonder about my ability to teach math over the long haul. We use MEP math which seems to be quite lovely and we've been plugging along with it for a few years. This morning, my 10 year old had to work the following question: The castle is 9 km 68 m from the forest. There is a waterfall between the castle and the forest. It is 2 km 456 m nearer to the castle than the forest. How far away is the waterfall from the castle? Sadly, I blew a gasket . . . and my engineering dh came and rescued me from myself. My son and I couldn't get to the answer, even working together. DH got to the end, only after checking the TM. The even sadder part is this: after having lovely dh explain this to me a few times, I don't think I'm much further along in understanding. I'm concerned that I didn't even think to use a variable . . . I could do the solving bit but I couldn't and can't seem to make my brain wrap around how to get the initial equation. If I continue down this road, I'll have to spend some serious cashola on a mathematics program. I'd be quite happy to homeschool until grade 9 with the hope that I don't ruin all chances of my kids managing math at the high school level and beyond. Signing out. T

After reading this entire thread and having some driving time to think about it . . . I'd consider letting my 12 year old enjoy her afternoon out after she produced a thoughtfully written "essay" about this situation. (I've made my oldest son work through hard behaviour problems by having him watch himself and write about the why of his feelings and how his behaviour reflected his feelings.) In order to direct this writing project, I'd ask her the following questions: Start from the beginning that you could feel your emotions gathering momentum . . . could you feel yourself losing control? Close your eyes and watch yourself and see if you can pinpoint the start of losing control. What triggered you into spiralling completely out of control and resulted with hitting? Explain that having space between action and reaction is always a great thing. If this is a concept your 12 year old understands, ask her to think carefully and write about how she could control her immediate negative reaction to a situation and figure out positive ways to manage her reaction time and response. I'd have her outline three positive ways to build some space into the action/reaction time . . . ie: leave the room, breathe deeply, consider if this moment is a hill to die on, take a self-proclaimed 5 minute time out, silence before speaking . . . the goal being to work on self-discipline during stressful moments. Watching yourself is hard work . . . but having to slow down and really think it through and then put those feelings into words might have a lasting impact. I think the crux of GBP is helping our children internally motivate themselves to make the right choices in any given moment . . . keeping her from the outing won't necessarily help her connect "no self-control means no picnic." It's not really a natural consequence as much as a "punishment" . . . I think punishing is mostly an exercise in futility. Warmly, Tricia

:iagree: This is a lovely post. I'm a "doer" . . . and I can easily get caught up in how much, how many, when and for what purpose. I'm learning that I have to be on the look-out for the "1" . . . in the sense that God is God and I am not. I'm not called to solve world poverty, fix our environment and manage the hurt and poverty of the trailer park a few km's away . . . but I am called to listen for God's Prompting when He says, "This gal has a soft heart and is ready to know me . . . proceed gently and lovingly." T

Yes and Amen to this poster and this post! Non-believer/un-believer makes me cringe a smidge (or alot, depending on the circumstance. It's right up there with "in the world" or "worldly"). When Jesus walked the earth, he did not hang out with the "proper, religious folks." He made His entry into the world via a young couple hardly heralded as something special. If I had to choose between hanging out with Christians for the rest of my life or folks who had no Jesus-grid/no idea that they were created for the pleasure of God, well . . . there wouldn't be any choice. The Kingdom comes in powerful ways and convinces people that there is in fact, a God, an Amazing God. I choose to be in relationship with all sorts of folks who have never graced a church building (and by their own admission, never will) but the process of loving people and being in a trusted relationship is worth every ounce of energy. It's real living - it's bringing the Kingdom to those that need it most. I do that by being open, accessible, non-judgemental . . . it's always a give and take. What do I have to receive from this person as well as what do I have to offer. True relationship benefits both parties. Soap box, ahhhhhhhhhhhh - forgive me. I have such passion for sharing my life for no other reason than I belive we're called to walk justly and kindly with all . . . the Holy Spirit is always always wooing people to Himself. I love playing along. T

Woot Woot . . . this sounds like a BIG deal!! Congrats!

Great news! :001_smile: Hooray for your big boy . . . my turning 9 in July son has had a break through this spring as well. It's really boosted his self-confidence to wake up dry. Warmly, Tricia

ITA with you about the reluctant landlords out there who are losing money every month . . . if the numbers barely worked before the bubble burst, or if they refinanced, they'll be in a world of hurt for a long time. I still think buying is more profitable then renting over the duration of 25 years, although that decision must be made with brains and not heart/dreams about living in a way that doesn't reflect one's cashflow. Warmly, T

No money down . . . ummm, yes, I know something about that. :D To answer the original poster's question: Pre-approval is key. (Many folks speak to finding a trustworthy agent, and I agree . . . but even more important is finding a mortgage broker who understands the game. I would need referrals and a long chat over coffee with anyone who was securing me mtg $$$. If it were my first home, I'd find an agent with gray hair. You want someone who's been around the block more than 100 times!:tongue_smilie:) Money down is lovely but if you can get in with no $ down and can still swing mtg payments based over 25 years, then definitely consider that. Renting indefinitely is making somebody else rich. It's that simple. We have rental props, and I feel very sad for the folks who blew their credit out of the water and have no choice but to rent. If you have good credit and feel confident with your $ management skills, I would most definitely take a look at owning a home. It feels like a hill to die on . . . with worry and how much $$ it will cost, but I think you'll be pleasantly surprised as you begin this journey. Build a team and enjoy the ride. Buy wisely. Stay above water. Warmly, Tricia

I voted "very important" --- again, this doesn't mean we don't do anything. As the teacher, it's my responsibility to mix joy with learning . . . if our kids decided they want to specialize in a field that takes an extra 10 years of study after they graduate from high school, I want them to have the stamina and the excitement to press in and on for as long as it takes. Life after undergrad can be tough; takes tremendous dedication and committment so I feel it's very important to make sure our littles are learning and enjoying it at the same time. I don't want to be pushing uphill for the next 10 years . . . slogging along without lots of joy and laughter. They ultimately choose to excel at uni or not and once they've left our home, I can't control their choices. I feel I must influence now while I can and so I use the honey approach and rely less on the vinegar to catch the goals I'm after. My 2 cents. Tricia

:iagree::iagree: I'm raising my decaf coffee and offering up a hearty :cheers2: to lots of slack, tons of breathing space and depths of grace like you've never experienced before!

Hi Merry, We share our home with a deaf man; he lives in our lower level apartment. I'm sure he could have written your post, word for word. I feel overcome with guilt because I need to learn signing so I can be part of his community. It's tough . . . learning a whole new language and I get so frustrated with myself when even the easiest words get lost in translation. I think if nobody at your church has tried to get to know you, despite having your children as interpreters, than I think it would be ok to find a different community where you could worship. If our deaf friend had an interpreting friend, then I'd have no excuse for not pressing in with him. Truthfully, that would be so much easier . . . I really believe your youngest son would understand that you and your spouse need community. It's not like you're leaving your church in a snit . . . not having any growing friendships at a church is heart-breaking. Your son could maintain friendships outside of Sunday morning by having regular play sessions. Wishing you well, Merry. :grouphug: Love, Tricia