Ummmmm, I'll soon be receiving my first ever Sonlight catalogue . . . I'm saying my Vineyard Prayer over and over and over again . . . Oh God Oh God, help me not get sucked all the way into Sonlight. :) We're pretty happy where we are right now, but I did receive my Tree of Life school catalogue yesterday, and I do wonder if I could ever get my kids to the place where they wouldn't die on the hill of classical correspondence courses. Four short years away . . .

Hi Joanne, My support comes from a dear friend who is also on the weight loss journey. We get together once a week for a dvd exercise, salad and God-talk over coffee. We've been doing this pretty regularly for 6 months now and it's been the best "weight-loss-support" that I've ever had. It's hard to tell her that I dropped the ball and spent the last three days emotionally eating because I'm upset about _____________. Accountability is key. We do that for each other. We're fully invested in each other's success. I've decided that weight loss has to happen within the parametres of my real life. Anything else means I'm doing a "fake thing" and when that's over, I have to return to my real life and I always train wreck. I think the programs are lovely out there, but really, who has the time/$$$ to manage that. I'd rather use the $40/month that I'd spend on a program on healthy food. Also, I need to address all facets of weight-loss in my life; food & exercise are the physical components of losing weight. My spiritual and emotional growth are equally impt as the physical when it comes to weight-loss. I'm preaching to the choir b/c I know you know this, but my weight gain has never been about food. It's been about using food for comfort when nothing else seems to be working out. I'm learning everyday that there is no real comfort apart from who Jesus is in my life. This is a journey that probably won't be mentioned at WW'ers. :001_smile: Warmly, Tricia

I haven't read this whole thread and this might sound cheeky but here it goes. When I'm around the "super-duper-on the ball-never miss a beat" classical educators, I'm both inspired to do more and thankful I don't do that much. When I'm around the "homeschoolers married to the unschooling approach", I feel a tad bit self-righteous and quite thankful for how much we do get done in the run of a day. Regardless of who we're with or how they school, I've come to the place where I like how we do school. Our school reflects me . . . for the good and the bad. After five years of this journey, I'm just fine with being a middle-of-the-roader and I think our children respect this path. We play with all sorts of families with all sorts of philosophies and I don't mind one bit. The families that insist "their way/method/curriculum/approach is the right way" for my kids are the ones that don't get a repeat invitation for a play-date. :D Cheeky, perhaps but all the way transparent. xo Tricia

Wow -- you shaved serious minutes off your previous marathon time. That is incredibly impressive. Giving you the BIG WOOT WOOT WOOOOOOOOOT from Halifax! xoxoxoxo T

The brief, in a nutshell version: :iagree: And add just one little word at the end. Sweat.

This is a Million $$$ Question and something I grapple with every day . . . I've learned to walk with a certain degree of "emotional detachment." I've always thought of detachment as something bad/wrong/less than approach to hard relationships, but I've realized that I can't stay engaged at the heart level with family/friends who operate out of the strongholds in their personality. I believe we're called to relationship and reading How People Grow by Cloud and Townsend confirmed that in my mind. The super-tricky relationships that aren't improving (I'm talking mothers, husbands, closely entwined people who have deep, daily impact in our lives), I'm learning to understand what I need to wear in terms of responsibility for the situation and I leave enough space between me and that person for God to work. I don't have to be overly-responsible for making a tricky relationship work. I live with the fact that some relationships are hard. I choose not to let those same relationships make me crazy. Yes to counselling. Yes to finding other parts of your life which are fulfilling. Yes to doing you. We can only do ourselves. In answer to your question, yes, I shut down to the other person's crazy but I don't disengage from myself. What does that look like . . . I don't try to analyze or process behaviour from someone who I know for sure is operating from an unhealthy foundation. I give the hurt to God and choose to believe that His Heart grieves much more deeply about this injustice than I could ever understand. Then I step back, emotionally or spiritually and give God all sorts of space to work. I'm still listening for God, however, and I'm ready to obey, close to the space if and when He tells me. It's when I close the space because I want to "fix it" that I get in trouble. It's like being in a boxing ring with someone who punches you over and over again in the same tender spot . . . many people think you've only got two options - leave the ring or hit them back. I think there's a valuable third option . . . and it's the only way I've had any success with hard relationships. I step back. The other person keeps swinging, but I continue to step back and make space . . . I don't engage and I ask God to draw me closer to Himself for protection. I believe that God is God and I am not and His Love can keep me in the ring without getting hurt. These are my early morning ramblings. Love, Tricia

Ah ha . . . this is what I was wondering. Freshly ground grains made into bread keep their nutritional advantage even after high-heat baked? Very interesting! T

Hi Tami, I've seen this mag and even glanced through it quite a few times. No question, it's awesome! The problem is that I don't do red meat at all, I haven't cooked chicken since Christmas . . . we're mostly a veg-household until my dh has had. enough. already. and decides to fire up the Q. Thank you, T

We're on "pseudo" spring break. My kiddies are spending a week in April with grandparents so I can't justify a March spring break as well. Still plugging with Math, latin, AAS, chem. (I'm embarassed about how we've dawdled along in LL and I really want us to start LL2 in the fall) If I lay school all down, I fear I won't pick it up again. I've been on a "I'm all down" stretch for about a month now, but thankfully, I'm forcing myself to keep pulling! Just not as hard for this week. T

Thanks, Hive. I'm a "slow but worth the wait" whole foods chef in the making! :001_smile: The Eat to Live book recommends lots of green . . . shockingly, my kiddies don't complain about eating greens . . . That said, I need baked goods (convenience for me and enjoyable for the Peachlets), so I'm trying to understand the different flours and how I can make healthy muffins, loaves for the freezer. I'm overweight, but my kiddies aren't . . . I feel that making baked goods with whole, healthy grains and low sugar/oil would be a good thing for them. I've been checking out the "vegan kids" thread **awesome links** -- I think I'm making a bit of progress. I *love* the hive! T

More food questions. I sat down to google qualities of Spelt, Kamut and Wheat Flours, only to find out they are closely related. Why then, is spelt and kamut flours soooooooo much better for me than wheat? Why do many of you grind your own flours? Cost? Taste? Preservative-free? Q about coconut milk and making creamy soups. I often use soy to make "creamy" broc soup but I picked up canned coconut milk to try in a creamy soup. I was ***shocked and awed*** by the fat/caloric contents of a full can. How do you balance fat with healthy fat . . . and is canned coconut milk out of the question in a healthy diet? Does anyone have fav links/blogs that are all about super healthy, whole foods, processed-free eating? I picked up the http://www.supernaturalrecipes.com site which I use often. TIA, T

You belong in a church where people deeply understand their need for a Saviour, know they are all broken and messy without Jesus and are convinced that nothing apart from walking in a close, loving relationship with God will sustain them. How will you know when you've found such a church? You'll smell grace there. People won't see your past as a hinderance to what God has planned for you. They will celebrate that another prodigal "daughter" has returned. You'll find healthy, accountable, non-judgemental relationships at this church. We're all messy and busted up due to the fall . . . the church you're looking for will embrace that as central theme and understand what that means. Good Luck! T

Vineyard was totally a west coast movement, but we've arrived out here in the East. woot woot! You can't imagine my shock and awe when I first stumbled onto the Vineyard . . . no suits, no flowery dresses, no tabernacle choir, no fake flowers in the foyer (not that there's anything wrong with those things :). . . it was the most refreshing Sunday morning I'd ever experienced in my whole 31 years of living. It was the real thing. I've never looked back. (slinking away after doing the song & dance on my Vineyard Soapbox) Love, T

Did you mean to say that there was anything but Vineyard Worship music . . . . :lol: We all day love worship music -- in fact, my dear friends have an entire list of Fab Vineyard music. I wonder if he could email you his playlist? If you PM me with your email address, I'll do my best for you! Warmly, T

Anyone btdt and bought the t-shirts. First, a short confession. Six months, we had digital cable installed to accomodate our deaf in-law suite tenant . . . I thought I'd spend time watching HGTV, house flips etc but nope, Public Broadcasting all. the. way. Sigh. Sometimes I feel so square. Anywho, Monday afternoon, Detroit's public broadcasting channel had an interesting psychology-type guy teaching from his parenting course, Love & Logic. You can see his webpage at LoveandLogic.com. I watched for a full hour and it really seemed to reflect my parenting style. Can anyone comment? Bought his stuff and liked it or tossed it? Fluff? I hate to spend my $$$ without a few good hivers backing it up. Looking fwd to hearing your reports! T

http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Candida-Yeast-Guidebook-Revised/dp/0761527400 That was too easy -- the joy of Google. I borrowed the first edition, so it looks like this is the new and improved version. Enjoy. I found this tremendously eye-opening in terms of my lifestyle. Warmly, T

Expected -- Yes. Dh has been singing the doom and gloom economy since he read Boom Bust & Echo shortly after university. Many books spoke about this coming and now arrived recession (hopefully not a full-blown depression). Prepared -- Yes, as much as we could be. Debt-reduction; bailing out of the cyclical oil&gas industry while all of our friends were still swimming in cash/heavy-duty stock options; cashing out of the market/RRSP's and sinking our $ into real estate and finding residual streams of income. I'm still shocked that things are as bad as they are . . . but the fake economy couldn't keep chugging, esp. by piggy-backing on underwater mtg's. I keep telling myself that God is God and the economy is not. T

I've been on quite a food journey this last six months. It started when a dear (west coast, tree-hugging, health nut) friend gave me a book about unhealthy yeast in our digestive tracts. That made sense to me and it turned around the bloating middle/excessive afternoon fatigue/puffy pounds that were plaguing me. A few months ago, another friend put Eat to Live in my hands. I can wrap my head around the premise of this . . . I was a vegan for 7 years before I got married so dropping animal protein, dairy doesn't offend me. It's the quantity of greens that I can't wrap my head around . . . I'm just wondering if any of you have closely followed Eat to Live and could we PM to have a few questions answered? Warmly, Tricia

I wondered if school + adoption work were fueling these feelings of overwhelmed and tired out. Dear friends of ours (who don't hs) just came through the adoption process and quite frankly, it knocked them on their butts. Lots of hard questions. Lots of why we do what we do. The stress of living in the tension of wanting a child but not sure IF or WHEN that would happen . . . you seem to be eternally optimistic and a real fighter for the life of grace and goodness that you believe in. I'm believing for some wide-open spaciousness for you and yours. xo T

Most times, I'm just plain old sad when I hear of a marriage ending. A few times, I've been very happy to hear that a toxic situation is all done. Taking sides seems like an exercise in futility . . . I wish the best for the children, for healing, for post-divorce care, for counselling so that life for everyone involved can press forward in a healthy manner. T

We mostly use the same curriculum . . . but delivery is wildly different from one child to the next!

Based on "my" experience as we've built our real estate portfolio, I know for certain that we'd not be where we are without my dh holding a professional engineering degree. The average "white collars" are probably "employees" and are undoubtedly being outearned by the business owners or self-employed folks in your town. The truth in our case, without that professional piece of paper, we'd not have the real estate portfolio that we currently possess with the resulting residual income. I'm quite sure my assumption is on target. The "piece of paper" has opened many doors on our journey.

This thread is very enlightening. We started out married life with an unexpected pregnancy and 65k of student loan debt. Real life hit us hard. Five years later, we were debt-free due to the bust-his-butt job that my husband had in the oil&gas industry and some smart real estate moves. I'm surprised that so many of you are firmly anti-debt as a means to fund a university education. Granted, we've spent our entire married life making choices that will ensure our kids have a headstart in paying for university, but I'm not offended if they have to carry debt when they start their real life. IMO, it's the price a person pays for a "professional" career which brings with it a "professional" paycheque. That solid professional status bring favour with banks, credit, leverage . . . whatever the price, I think it's a necessary piece of paper. My two cents worth. Tricia

I've never sent my kids to public school either, so I guess I could say different is relative and I wouldn't know how we'd be different because we've never been different . . . it's always been this way. Sure, but I think we have enough clues to hazard a guess about how our relationships would change with our children if we didn't spend all day together. For ie: hs'ing forces me to be a grace-based parent. I don't think I would have journeyed this parenting path had I sent my kids to ps. I had to learn grace, self-control, "gentle but firm" mothering in order to lead my children academically. Being mommy/teacher forces a quick decision about the flavour of your mothering. Often times, I hear mother's speak of "changing hats" depending on the hour of the day . . . I found that I couldn't change hats. I'm the mommy that teaches, cleans, cooks, plays, disciplines, encourages. I find that my ps friends have the luxury of being Mommy without so many layers. I envy their headspace, but I am very protective of the relationship that we've managed to carve out in the midst of school at home. Not all of us here started hs'ing when our firstborn turned 5 without really really questioning if hs'ing was the best route to take for educating our littles. I remember tossing and turning for months, trying to figure out what hs'ing would look like. How I'd be stretched. Could I do it? Should I try to find out in advance the hurdles and crazy I might encounter? The first real philosophical lesson as I learned as a homeschooler is that "homeschooling" is a word that encompasses a whole ocean of possibilities. Your school will look like you. The parenting challenges of being a mommy who teaches may represent your growing edge if you are of the mind that we learn as much as we teach in our hs'ing environment. You ended your post with the idea of "maybe I'll grow into it?" You will grow into it if you allow yourself the space to be the mother/teacher you've always wanted to be. You'll also find the people here who reflect your values and you'll listen harder to them. My early morning ramblings! Warmly, Tricia

This is a lovely post, Peela and I agree with you. We've 95% decided that we'll hs until high school, but by the middle teen years, we want our children to start using their wings, start to fly. I'd love to see our children do some summer mission trips, spend their summers counselling at camp, travelling with and without us. I agree with Ria's point early in the thread about hs'ing magnifying the parent/child relationship. Sadly, I think the relationship can swing both ways . . . into a mutually beneficial relationship where both parent and children are working out their flaws and kinks together . . . almost sharpening each other. I know that after 5 years of hs'ing, I'm a much better person. I don't yell as much, my expectations are reasonable (I hope), I find ways to meet my children where they are and I've learned the power of grace-based (goyb) parenting. In some cases, I think hs'ing magnifies control/fear-based parenting which makes me feel very sad for the littles. Finding balance is key. I've tried to help my kids see that we are all a work in progress . . . Mommy has some edges that need lots of heavy-duty sanding and so do the little people. We work at it together. In our case, hs'ing has helped all of us become better people and a more unified team. Cheers, Tricia