Thank you so much for the replies. I think I put extra pressure on myself with him because he isn't NT ("Isn't that putting the cart before the horse?" my dh asked, and of course he is right). He's already different and I guess I'm struggling with Mommy Guilt over that fact already. I worry, I think, because my others kids were "normal". We might have had to struggle to learn the 12 times tables or to remember the i before e rule but their brains work "right". I knew that it was just a matter of time before they'd get it. What if he doesn't "get" it? I know that he will, I know that he is making huge strides given his issues, it's just sometimes I get so worried that I'm out of my league. But then I think, the school system here is awful and not an option so I'm not keeping him from some great sensory programs or something by homeschooling him. He has a great speech therapist and a great OT so he is getting help. Still...it is so hard to watch him and know that people are already going to form opinions of him based on his "not listening" or because he's so wriggly and I don't want him to be judged further because he can't read. Not that he cares and I realize these are my issues and not his. Thanks for listening and letting me know that I'm not completely screwing him up. :)

My 6 year old is a wonderful little boy. He's bright, fun, and loving. But man, he is so difficult and I'm not sure at this point what to do with him. I cannot teach this child how to read. He has a speech articulation disorder, which I believe has complicated phonics (it's hard to learn to read a word when you struggle to say the sounds, you know?) He's been in speech therapy for several months, however, and has improved a lot. He also has Sensory Processing Disorder (he's in occupational therapy to help with this--basically he is very hypersensitive) and also Benign Rolandic Epilepsy. The epilepsy does not have any effect on his intelligence, although his medication can cause problems with concentration. So that's Holden in a nutshell. Fun but complicated. I began teaching Holden to read about a year ago using Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. It had worked well with his older brother. It was a struggle--he would get distracted by the pictures and the hodgepodge of print on the page. After giving it a good try we put it aside and tried OPG. We got to the sound blends and stalled. He just cannot get the idea of blending sounds. You'll show him a word (say "bed") and he'll immediately say "buh...man". I'll tell him to sound out the word and he might get "buh...eh...duh". He'll speed up those three distinct sounds but will not, for the life of him, blend them together. Knowing the the early edition of WTM suggested Phonics Pathways we tried that. He got to the pyramids of words and was like, nope. It didn't work at all for him. We tried www.readinga-z.com. He loved the worksheets and using the individual letters to spell the words but, again, he wasn't learning to read. Since he liked the worksheets we tried "Explode the Code" but, after a few weeks of doing great, stalled out when the skill level changed. He's tried Headsprout and Starfall. He's gotten about halfway through headsprout level 1--I know he can read the words on the computer screen but if I showed him the words "can" or "Fran" or "Zee" on paper he'll look at me blankly. Most recently we've tried SWR. He can write the words okay, sounding the words out to get them on paper, but then when I try to get him to read the words we're back to "buh...man" (I'm not sure why 'man' is his default setting for reading but it is). He knows the phonogram sounds for the alphabet and is learning the other phonograms (as introduced in the WISE guide) and is pretty good at getting them right when quizzed, but once it's in a word it just doesn't matter. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I feel like such a failure. It's not really so much that he can't read at 6 but that he's doing no better than he was this time last year. The lack of progression is what has me concerned. I called the Sylvan Learning Center to see if they could tutor him and it's outside of our price range ($42 an hour, they like to do 3-4 hours a week at his age). He is doing great in his other subjects. He picks up math concepts with frightening speed. Why can't we get over the reading hump? DD struggled to get the mechanics of reading (not this hard) but when she 'snapped' the process in her mind she took off and reads well above grade level. I keep hoping that he'll have that same 'snap' but what if he doesn't? Does anybody have any advice?

I really thought, before I had boys, that I would curb violent play (sword play, even gun play) but I don't. I'm also shocked at how interested my two older boys are with war, even though their father is a war veteran and doesn't make any bones about how joining the military will not be an acceptable option for our boys. They gravitate towards games like Call of Duty and also strategy games like Rise of Nations, Colonization, and Civilization. I really thought those things were nurture vs. nature. I never thought we'd have so much penis talk or enjoy farts so much.

I used traditional cursive with dd--I just bought one of the Zaner-Bloser books (I think that's what it was) and had her do a page or so a day but used HWT (modern cursive) for oldest ds. I didn't put a lot of thought into it, just liked it because there is no slant (the bane of my existence as a child, as I'm lefthanded). Now I'm pretty into SWR so I might use Cursive First for middle ds, although right now we're just working on letter formation (he has a seizure disorder that makes writing quite difficult). With the baby i will likely do modern cursive, as he's lefthanded as well.

I think the best book for stuff like that is Slow and Steady, Get Me Ready. It's broken down by weeks, from week 1 of life to the fifth birthday. Every week has age-appropriate activities to do with your child. Some are pretty basic (for example, half of one year is spent learning the alphabet, a letter per week) but others are quite helpful. Good luck!

i cackled and it woke the baby up. :D

I'm sorry. :hug: We help support my mother financially and it can be stressful--it's almost like having another child but one who lives 30 miles away. But my mom contributes in other ways and it evens out. In your situation--and I'll preface this by saying that I'm a selfish person--I wouldn't go back to work or expect my kids to make sacrifices in terms of lessons just to support MIL. Life's too short and my family focus is on myself, dh, and the kids. If I can help others without really putting myself into a bind I'm happy to but my main focus is on giving my kids a well-rounded education (including music lessons and other extracurriculars), not supporting someones credit card habit. I understand that it's easier said than done--your principles seem petty when your MIL's house is foreclosed on. But it you aren't terribly close and she doesn't seem to get it I wouldn't completely change my life to help. I agree that perhaps bankruptcy is the only option for her (and if her house is condemnable maybe that would be healthier for her in the long run). If she can't/won't get help for her hoarding and financial decisions then you can't be expected to do more for her than she's willing to do herself.

I really love the way we approach Christmas. Both dh and I put our foot (feet?) down several years ago regarding frantic family visiting--we were trying to divide our time between my mom's house, my dad's house, and MIL's house. It was too much for us, too much to expect of the kids (I think we only had dd at the time) and just generally no fun. Now we get up at around normal time. I always have presents arranged just-so before finally turning into bed (we do Santa here) and the playroom, where the tree is, always looks fairly magical. DH lights a fire in the woodstove, also in the playroom, and we enjoy the comfy warmth. I'll make hot chocolate on the stove and then we'll open presents. After gifts are opened we bundle up and go outside to do the chores. The little boys can help feed the chickens, we throw treats to the pigs (if they haven't already been slaughtered--usually they have by that time of year but not always), and feed the cows. Dh has to milk the cows and he does so while the kids enjoy the new toys. Then we go to my mom's house to spend the day. We cook a Thanksgiving-like feast and enjoy being together. We might watch "The Christmas Story" as it works its 24 hour rotation on TBS or "Christmas Vacation" (my personal favorite). It's all very low-key, informal, and nice.

I think that once someone fondles a child's penis or vagina they lose the right to be looked at objectively. Nor do I believe that they can possess ANY good that is worth the bad.

Seriously, though, what good is tit-for-tat? I understand that it's sometimes funny (in a kidding-on-the-square type of way) to throw broad generalizations at one another but, at the end of the day, it comes down to respect. Your "friends" are disrespecting you. It's not about agreeing with homeschooling or not--it's about showing respect for your friend/family member's choices. None of us agree with one another on every subject, therefore we (hopefully) refrain from making rude remarks because we love our friend/family member, even if we disagree with some choices that they make. If they can't show you that basic respect, do you really want to spend time with them? Expose your kids to them and their prejudices?

"You do know I'm here, right? I had to check because I can't imagine why someone would think it was funny to make such remarks in my presence, knowing that my kids are homeschooled."

This. The idea of Christian forgiveness is one of the parts of Christianity that I find the most baffling.

Whether or not it's theologically possible matters not a whit to me. I think any woman who reconciles with her child's molester needs to lose custody of said children. And I'm not one to advocate such things.

I'm so sorry about your loss. :hug: We lost my uncle over Labor Day weekend and let me tell you, it sucks to *plan* a funeral over a holiday as well. Everything costs a ton more (and it's expensive to begin with!) Have you contacted the funeral home that is doing your grandmother's service? The funeral homes here have bereavement arrangements with airlines.