I absolutely react to high-histamine foods. (And a bunch of other stuff too!) None of my doctors dismiss this. Allergist has no problem saying: “Hey, this high-histamine food triggers you? Avoid it!” He also supports my anti-histamine regime. I know that not all doctors understand or support Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, but don’t think reacting to histamines is itself controversial.

There is no such thing as “same age peers” in law school. Most people are generally in their early to mid twenties, but lots of people did gap years or got master degrees or traveled. No one will care if you are twenty-two or twenty-four or twenty-seven. (Just don’t be under 21. That’s awkward.) I would stay the extra year. Take those extra classes. Start a foreign language. Learn a new sport. Practice cooking. Anything that helps you be a well balanced person. Because 1L year will hit you like a tidal wave, and the more resilient you are going in the better. But honestly? I would stay the extra year in college, and then I would take a few more years after that. See if you can get a full-ride for a master’s degree. Travel. Be an au-pair somewhere. Work in a different city. Because once you get your law degree you usually have to get a job and start repaying your student loans. And then it’s almost impossible to take two or three years to do something cool.

Autistic people have to accommodate a lot of not-Autistic social expectations at most parties. At the end of the night, when we are the most socially spent, perhaps the not-Autistics can accommodate us, and let us leave how we wish.

I find shopping online and looking at generics makes it easier to find dye-free options. (Regular Pepcid is pink, generic Amazon famotidine is white!)

The nurses were apologetic that my baby didn’t have a private room in the NICU! Uh, I want you to be able to see her at all times? No walls needed! (I guess with private rooms a parent is able to sort of move in full time, which wasn’t an option for us with a toddler at home. But apparently all new NICUs are built this way?)

https://www.crateandbarrel.com/kids-heathered-jersey-reversible-grey-twin-quilt/s224267 The quilt is just under $100, the sham is about $30.

Korea or Japan is where all the good overseas TESOL jobs are. Experience on the ground will probably make her a more attractive candidate.

We live in the #2 city, and frankly we have a better water situation than San Francisco. Just need to survive the inevitable earthquake….

We always have Prime, because. Husband insists we always need Disney+, but I think the kids only really watch it when we don’t have Netflix. And sometimes we don’t, we take breaks. We don’t have cable. I don’t know how people have the time for it!

Have you done Ancestry or 23andMe? If so you can download your raw data file and look up your methylation status yourself with https://geneticgenie.org. The site can be a bit overwhelming, so maybe a group project?

Therapy was a game changer for me. While my regular doctor did put me on the SSRI, for which I am very grateful, it was my functional medicine doctor who tested my methylation status and put me on the right B vitamins. A good functional medicine doctor is so worthwhile.

I had crippling anxiety at the beginning of the pandemic, and now I don’t. (It was preexisting anxiety massively triggered by COVID infection and pandemic stress.) It took a combination of talk therapy, SSRIs, methylated B vitamins and time for me to get better. But I did. It will probably take a combination of treatments and time for you to get better too, but treatments for anxiety and depression exist and are totally worth pursuing. Please ask your husband for help. That’s the best way to help him.

Let me get on my soap box for a moment, because this has been frustrating me all week: Yes, the vaccine disrupts menstrual cycles. BUT SO DOES COVID!!! (I’ve personally experienced *both*) And COVID does a bunch of other nasty things as well… Get vaccinated!

We made it two years without a reinfection, but since they dropped masks in my community last spring I’ve had it three times in five months. I’m vaxed and boosted, wear masks, go almost nowhere, but I have kids in school who are the only ones who mask in their classrooms. Each reinfection has been increasingly mild for me. Still worried about long term damage.

Having your teens practice their boundary defenses is also a great life skill for them.

Altitude is so hard on people with chronic illnesses. (It’s hard enough for us on the ground!) I hope you are at sea level and feeling better soon.

Autism spectrum wasn’t meant to be the spectrum from Autistic to Not-Autistic present in a group of people. It was meant to convey the spectrum of abilities/deficits within an individual Autistic person. (That horse has clearly left the barn.) I much prefer the Autism as an Ice Cream Sundae Bar metaphor. We don’t all have the same amounts of the same toppings, but we are all Autistic, despite our differences.

Honestly the default for our family is grad school. Both my husband and I have graduate degrees and it seems likely our kids will follow that path. But the idea that the local flagship wouldn’t be good enough for them is just silly. I’ve meet kids from all kinds of backgrounds in grad school. I know super ambitious kids who went to Harvard and super ambitious kids who went to their state flagships. They all end up doing super ambitious things. (R1 Professors, Start-up CEOs) I know smart but mellow kids who went to Yale and smart but mellow kids who went to their state flagship. They all end up doing smart but mellow things. (Public policy researcher, government attorney.) People are who they are, and somehow sending my geeky introverted kid to Harvard isn’t going to make her super-ambitious.

I’m fully vaccinated and boosted. Still wear masks everywhere, don’t eat in restaurants, etc. My second and third bouts of COVID were only 79 days apart…. (I think dropping masks was a huge mistake.)

Here is the German website that says exactly what an American student needs in addition to a high school diploma. https://anabin.kmk.org/no_cache/filter/schulabschluesse-mit-hochschulzugang.html#land_gewaehlt

My autistic two year old was obsessed with the color purple. Two isn’t too young for a special interest. If she has one, she would probably love something related to that interest.

McGraw-Hill Education Beginning Spanish Grammar: A Practical Guide to 100+ Essential Skills https://a.co/d/ce6dnNk This is a series with beginning, intermediate and advanced levels. It is the American reprint of a well regarded series from Spain, Gramática de uso del español, which you can also find on Amazon, but the McGraw-Hill version is cheaper. It’s not specifically aimed at kids, but it is worth looking into. The format is two page spreads, the examples and explanations on one page, the corresponding exercises on the facing page.

Express Scripts has been amazing for me, and such a God-send during the pandemic. They’ve caught issues that my doctors missed. (Like a medicine containing a filler I don’t tolerate.) They have been super easy to deal with too. Maybe I’ve just been lucky, but I’ve had a great experience.

We are Catholic. Not hugely devout, but we both come from Irish Catholic families where hugely devout isn’t really required. My mom turned her back on the church and didn’t have me baptized, figuring I could choose as an adult. I resent this. (It’s a hassle to be baptized as an adult!) So my big priorities before we had kids was 1) baptize them, 2) continue the tradition of Catholic school 3) First Communion. Give them a faith tradition, which they could choose to follow in adulthood or not, but don’t make them start from scratch as adults. Well, turns out I’m raising an born atheist who doesn’t much appreciate my efforts. We got through First Communion. (Never underestimate the power of a veil and a fancy dress!). It would be great if we could make it through confirmation, but I’m not holding my breath. I actually think this kid might do better with church as a grown-up. Her literalist bent doesn’t work well with the little-kid theology she gets at school. I’d love to find her a High Church service with amazing music, rather than the suburban Catholic school parish we attend now. But no, I’m not going to mandate anything, she’d bolt and never look back.

I was a huge fan of My Side of the Mountain and Hachet as a kid, I think Island of the Blue Dolphins also fits well into this category. Plus a female protagonist.