From my arm chair a billion states away, I'd wonder if she is borderline. Those who are borderline tend to always have high drama in their lives, no boundaries, super blame-y, and are very impulsive. (Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.) My heart breaks for these people b/c as bad a time as you're having interacting with her -- she feels totally depressed, empty and alone. However, my DH once said, "You can have compassion for a person with rabies, but that doesn't mean you spend Xmas with them." (At the time we were discussing family members.") His point really helped me understand that to say (in so many words), "I love you, but I will not participate in this" is being loving to yourself. And it means that having more energy for your own family. Good luck. I know this is not easy. W.

I love these threads. I bought a puffer at Costco at least seven years ago and it's still my super boring looking go-to because it's warm. These are all at Costco: This one is really pretty, $99. Standard but black, but really warm, $65. Beautiful Pendleton wool coat at non-Pendleton price, $75. Long parka, $70. Happy shopping -- I know finding a good coat is important. W.

🍿 Same here: a souvenir tummy from the kids and I like soft, not itchy. Thanks for starting this topic. W.

Hi Sarah!! That is seriously awesome! Congratulations!! Sending you 🍾 and 💐! I wish I could write fiction. I've been a freelance travel writer for the last 14 years, but guess how many editors want travel articles now? So I started a blog back in Feb. I've long wanted to do. Do you know about a site called Freelance Success? You don't have to be a freelancer, all types of writers are on there. I haven't been on for a year or more but I think they have a "book" category. It's $99/ a year and is a fantastic place to "talk" with writers. They're the real deal. I'd name names except this is a public forum. I was able to get onto the Washington Post's Talent Network b/c of friends in this group. People write for the big magazines and websites. I need your book on setting boundaries! I moved 3,000 miles away to get some breathing room. Congratulation again -- your news is absolutely awesome!! W.

Hugs. That's so sad! W.

We have a nine year old shepherd w/ stomach problems and this is what we do: Like you, we give our shepherd two tablespoons or so of pumpkin on his dry in the morning and at dinner. His dry food is from Costco: it's Kirkland the bag w/ the husky on the front, $28. Because River had a bleeding ulcer in 2017 he -- according to the vet -- will forever have a very sensitive tummy. So the vet has us giving River 1/2 Pepcid (10mg) in the morning and again for dinner. Btw, River is 80 pounds. River has also been itchy at times, and I figured out that 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon of olive oil on his food seemed to stop the itching. I also give him peanut butter on his dry for something fun. When River's ulcer was front-and-center in our lives, the vet had him on Royal Canin, Gastrointestinal Dry Food (we also did the same kind of food in wet). Super expensive, but it totally eliminated stomach irritation. He was probably on it, for a year and then I slowly, very slowly got him back on the Costco Kirkland food (I did half and half for the longest time). I hope this helps! W.

Two unique ways to learn a language that are totally out of the box: Tim Ferris (podcaster) at age 15 visited Japan for a year thinking he'd be in a lot of Japanese language classes -- instead he was plunked into regular high school classes all in Japanese!! So he toughed it out for six months, said he failed miserably and was ready to fly home when he happened to stumble on a poster that had the 500 most common words in Japanese. He inhaled the poster and went on to ace classes. He's in his early 40's and still has the poster. Other cool idea: he bought Dilbert books -- I'd do Calvin & Hobbes -- in various languages that he wanted to learn, and did by reading Dilbert. Don't ask me why, but the poster and another cool language hack are in his book: The 4-Hour Chef by Timothy Ferris. Just order from the library, no need to buy unless you really want to learn about cooking, but page 48 has another awesome language idea. (It's a little too long to describe here.) Okay, you guys have talked me into it: I'm learning Spanish based on Tim's ideas here. W.

I love the idea that everyone does this at least once!! This won't help OP, but I want to share my hack for keeping the kids' schedule straight in mind: I print out their schedules and trim it down so that it'll fit on my steering wheel -- and then I tape it on!! (It's there all semester.) I look at the thing everyday when I'm driving. 🙄 W.

Wow, this group is on it!! I'm still making my monthly list: 10-12 -- Gas, $20. 10-13 -- Trader Joes, $125.00 10-13 -- Visa statement arrived today. 10-14 -- Pay Bryan for Oct. and Nov. piano, $140. I only go to Trader Joe's every other month which is why it's high. Writing down my spending really helps me stay sane. We have a lot of birthdays in October too -- including DH. I might just give him small "fun" gifts -- like the stuff that goes on your car windshield that makes the rain roll off, $4 -- and explain that I'm saving. I think he'd appreciate that I'm limiting spending. Maybe I'll order his favorite See's candy too. The rain stuff and the See's comes to under $30. And, yikes, Christmas. Any suggestions for 17 year old boys? They love videogames and books. Thanks for this great group! Wendy

I love talking hair! I use L'Oréal Paris Superior Preference Permanent Hair Color -- but I'm more brunette than you are. Go lighter than you'd assume you'd need. I think you're really safe using L'Oreal Excellence. And it's just $9 a bottle. I highly recommend this TV anchor from Houston who goes into super helpful info. on her make up, hair, skin, bras -- you name it. She's about 51 years old: Dominique Sasche. Here's her link: How to Color Your Hair at Home. She's helped me so much navigate the billions of products that are out there. W.

Awesome info. Thanks for sharing Lanny! W.

Tho Thweet!! And the little round tummies are too much. Have fun everyone!! And the dog on the couch in the OP's first picture looks like a muppet!! ♥♥♥ Too cute! W.

I would go with anything Merrill. They've saved my feet many times over the last three decades. I think you're smart for taking care of your feet. W.

Hi Everyone, I'm pretty decent at keeping running lists for gifts for people, but not so much with DH. (He tends to be hard to buy for.) He's an IT guy. He LOVES chocolate so that's always a good gift. He LOVES tools (even for the kitchen) and I wanted to get him the Leatherman tool bracelet that's really cool and I've heard him talk about but a) it costs $150 and b) the reviews are iffy. He's not into sports, clothes, cars, pets (he puts up with animals b/c of me). We've gotten a local hotel room (because TeA) so that's always a go-to. I once took a pretty picture out of a hotel room that showed the lighthouse that was a step or two away. I've heard about places where you can make puzzles out of your own pictures. Any ideas would be great! TIA, W. 🙂

You just nailed my two favorite things in the whole world: (after my babies of course) dogs and travel!! 🥰 Before covid I was a travel writer for 14 years (hope my work comes back), but I didn't specialize in camping -- I specialized in family travel and more specifically: cruising. (Wrote for Trip Advisor, CNN, WaPo, parents mags, Costco and the like.) I've stayed in some schmancy hotels, but this group is still my favorite (b/c free parking, free breakfast, free wifi, no crazy "resort fees," no funny business with bill) From their site: Choice Hotels is made up of 10 different hotel brands, including popular chains such as Comfort Inn, Quality, EconoLodge, the upscale Ascend Hotel Collection, and many more. They have more than 2,500 pet friendly hotels around the world, making it a sure thing that you and your best friend will be able to find a place to stay whatever your destination." My favorite is the Comfort Inn & Suites. (The Comfort Inns aren't quite as nice as the ones that also say "& Suites.) I've also been pleasantly surprised at how nice some of the Quality Inn's are. Each hotel is individually owned and has different rules, but a quick phone call will tell you what you need to know. In all fairness, we once stayed in one of these near Legoland in FL that was truly awful -- so reading Trip Advisor's reviews is vital (over 100 people review and the property has at least four stars). If I can be helpful, please reach out.! I love talking travel and who knows what covid will ultimately do to the travel world? Plus I'm a dog-freak! W.

Good one! How do you know if it's a high quality filter?

I do this too. I put dishes in and run the dishwasher and make the countertops shine (I use a special spray for granite). My other two pm chores -- clean my dog's water, add ice (Hotlanta) and clean the kitty box. This way I don't go to sleep thinking, "Omg, does River have water??" He's a shepherd and love his water. LOVE this idea. I used to get mine at Costco, where do you get them now? My kids don't get this idea, but dh does!! So proud. 🙂 I totally agree. If you lay them out, no wrinkles. Same here. I do daily laundry and the kids handle their own. I wanted to add that finding your own rhythm to cleaning is important. You came from a messy house, and I came from an insane asylum where everything was spotless. If you visit my parents today, it looks like nobody lives there. Like it's an airbandb. It's taken me decades to find out what matters most to me? (Waking up to a clean kitchen is one.) I also love listening to music or podcasts while I clean. One more cleaning-jewel that really helped my life: I once watched my very, very clean sister-in-law and noticed how much stuff she recycles or just throws away. I was like, "Ohhhh, you don't save everything." She would go through her kitchen like a motorboat: toss, toss, toss! I don't know why that was so revelatory to me, but it really was. Hugs -- keeping a clean house if you really live in it is hard! W.

My good friend's parents are hoarders. She was helping them clean out years ago, and as she taking stuff outside to the trash, they'd were walking back inside having pulled stuff out of the trash! She was so frustrated. I agree: it's a mental disorder. I also feel badly for the poor dog. You guys too of course! Have you thought about renting one of those huge dumpsters that sit in the driveway? Good luck to you, W.

I listen to Tim Ferris's podcast (that goes into tons of topics), but his way of learning a new language is amazing. Long story, short: he did a year with a family in Japan when he was about 15. He floundered. Finally he found a poster that had like 500 of the top words used in Japan. He studied that like a wild man -- just the top words -- and learned to speak Japanese from doing that. After he went to Japanese high school, got great grades, and is still in touch w/ the family today. I love this idea so much: He also learns new languages -- so that according to him he won't be lonely in foreign lands -- by reading Dilbert books written in other languages. Instead of Dilbert I'd love to do this with Calvin & Hobbes. Wish I'd stuck with this idea: When my boys now 17 were 7 or 8 I got the idea to show them their favorite movies in Spanish. We watched Cars in Spanish and it was so fast for me that I gave up on the idea. I think if you have kids, I think they'd take right to the movies in foreign languages. They love their movies so much that they'll put two and two together quicker than an adult would (just because they're so spongy and learn so quickly.) Just wanted to share!! ♥ W.

I listen to Tim Ferris's podcast (that goes into a million topics), but his way of learning a new language is amazing. Long story, short: he did a year with a family in Japan when he was about 15. He floundered. Finally he found a poster that had like 500 of the top words used in Japan. He studied that like a wild man -- just the top words -- and learned to speak Japanese from doing that. After he went to Japanese high school, got great grades, and is still in touch w/ the family today. I love this idea so much: He also learns new languages -- so that according to him he won't be lonely in foreign lands -- by reading Dilbert books written in other languages. Instead of Dilbert I'd love to do this with Calvin & Hobbes. Wish I'd stuck with this idea: When my boys now 17 were 7 or 8 I got the idea to show them their favorite movies in Spanish. We watched Cars in Spanish and it was so fast for me that I gave up on the idea. I think if you have kids, I think they'd take right to the movies in foreign languages. They love their movies so much that they'll put two and two together quicker than an adult would (just because they're so spongy and learn so quickly.) Just wanted to share!! ♥ W.

I think you have enough awesome suggestions for a few years here! 🙂 But I wanted to suggest Twain's Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. I love this list!! W.

I have a hit. My two, 17, are doing "Dual Enrollment" (half high school and half community college). They're doing amazingly well in community college. I had no idea how they'd react to typical teachers' schedules and due dates and papers and so forth. Turns out, they took right to it like little ducks. (I mean, it's not Stanford or Princeton, I know, but they seem to be impressing their teachers.) This is my way of saying: homeschool works!! 🙂 (Again, only if the parents are called to homeschooling. I feel badly for those who've had it thrust on them by covid.) W.

I think it's a huge kindness to say, "Remember you can do hard things." Sometimes just believing in people can help so much. Hugs to you, W.

My DH is teaching my two teens to drive -- and it's going beautifully (without my help; I'm a backseat driver). Yay for delegation! And I'm on week 30 of writing my blog. A huge accomplishment b/c without an editor's deadline I've had a hard time sticking with a schedule. Nice thread idea! W.

When I need to laugh, I read my kids' Calvin & Hobbes books. I'm not kidding. They are so funny. I have nighttime depression. Like every evening from about 8 p.m. to whenever I go sleep. So I keep a Calvin & Hobbes by my bed to read before I go to sleep. Hugs, W.