I am so sorry that you feel such sadness at Christmas time, this year especially. I do too. Usually I'm happy I put forth the effort afterwards, but carry a cloud over me leading up to the festivities. If I were in your situation, I would let all the outer family obligations go and focus on doing something that would make DH and myself have some happy memories of this time. I would probably make the effort to put up the tree and some decorations for DH and plan a meal I would enjoy cooking and eating. Rent a bunch of Christmas movies, pop some popcorn, get a fun drink, and then just enjoy the time together. Let the movies create the magic of Christmas. Hugs and prayers to your family during this difficult time.

Occasionally that happens here, but we don't school on Fridays as a general rule. Often if we have to push a day for some reason, I make it up on Friday. I'm more likely to scrap a day due to nice weather. Let's get out and enjoy the sunshine. ;) Generally if school is getting rough - either for myself or the kids, I know it's time to take a break or do a light school week if I have a scheduled break coming up. I school year round and take a break as needed or when DH has vacation. When I had a baby, I spent a little time getting my oldest to do the things she could do for herself, mostly food- breakfast and lunch-, but also to do her own laundry and clean the small bathroom. On the weekends (because DH was home) I would do a few things so the beginning of the week was easier. Making a batch of muffins so I had something nutritious to grab and eat first thing in the morning. Cut up some fresh veggies for snacking. I did a lot of one dish baked in the oven. I would usually make a lot of chicken on the weekend and then use the extras to make casseroles that were already in pans ready for me to pop in the oven. Then one night was leftovers. Also, DH had one week night meal to do. Fridays we would do pizza (either takeout or frozen). It's okay to relax school and get the rest you need to be your healthiest self.

DH and I have to find a balancing act between his desire for a big Christmas and my desire for a meaningful Christmas. His desire to have lots of presents to put under the tree and unwrap lots of things just for the sake of having a lot seems wasteful to me because at that point the kids aren't even interested in a lot of it. On the other hand, I can be pretty stingy when it comes to our Christmas budget. It's not to much stress between the two of us, but it's a discussion every year. Thankfully we are both okay with giving used (especially books and vintage toys) or handmade gifts which allows him to have more presents and I can make that budget stretch a little further. My oldest is 9 so it will probably change but it works for now. My favorite thing that has worked out so far it that the kids may take all day to open their gifts because they will want to play with whatever toy they just opened. Plus this helped in those very young years when they got overwhelmed quickly. Last year we got a new board game for the family. As soon as that was opened all the kids wanted to play it so while breakfast was finishing, we set it up and played. Following that the kids went back to opening gifts. I think the last gift got opened right after dinner. It has been fun to see how different everyone celebrates.

My middle child (almost 7) loves these books. Honestly, she loves funny, quirky books. So much of classic literature is to much of her emotionally. Good or bad, suspense really gets to her and overwhelms her, but funny, every time keeps her engaged. She's only 7 so I'm sure it will change as she gets older, but I am been able to guide many literature lessons using these books. My oldest DD likes them too, but they are "pleasure" reading for her. My 7yo has a lot of insightful things to talk about after reading these. And to be honest, the one I read aloud to her, I couldn't help but to laugh and enjoy the story too. Sometimes you have to go with what engages them, and find the lessons that are there. Grammar in the Wimpy Kid books make me cringe sometimes, but I've had my 7yo write out (or tell me) how to correctly phase something. There are teaching moments if you need there, but there is nothing wrong with just enjoying something because you love it. Fostering the love (or enjoyment) of something, is the only reward sometimes.

I love real plates, but would not look down on anyone that chooses to use disposable. There are two factors I use to determine whether to use disposable. First, would the food make disposable plates messy to use. Second, what is the purpose of these beautiful plates if I don't ever use them. Granted I may use them for intimate family functions so large family functions I'm totally willing to break out the easy clean up disposable platewear. For me, matching isn't as important as actually using something I have. If I don't use a special occasion item(s) at least once a year (for the exception of my funeral attire) I get rid of it. I do not have china specifically for this reason. I don't wish to have something just to collect dust. To each their own though. Disposable platewear is what it is. If it's important to have easy cleanup then go for it, but if the china just sits there every year waiting for that special occasion that never happens, break it out and ask for cleanup help. Enlist your DH or kids (or really anyone that would be receptive) to take care of clean up for you since your made (or orchestrated) the meal.

I loathe them because almost always there is an issue. Then I have to wait around for the issue to be fixed. Therefore, I did not save time.

In my house, there are no gender specific chores. Everyone gets a turn or does it together based on age appropriateness. Menstruation is not hidden here. Products are kept on out in the open so that anyone that needs them has easy access including guests. A trash can is provided close to the toilet for disposal. Ours has a lid because of a cat that like to knock over open trash cans not so much to hide the trash. Whose ever job it is to empty trash is not spared that chore during it certain times of the month. However, I also expect us to clean up after ourselves when we make a mess, and not leave it for someone else. DH generally takes out the kitchen trash, but if I have filled the trash, I will take it out not let it overflow and dump on to the floor. DH shaves in the morning. He wipes out the sink and cleans most of the hair out. Yes, there is some stray hair that will be cleaned up when chores are done. After dinner, I wash down the table, but if one of my kids spill or drop big globs of food while eating, they go get a wash rag/towel and clean it up. For me, it's just a matter of respect to the other member's of the family to not leave a mess for someone else to clean up just because it's not your chore. It's one thing to walk in from outside and some dirt is transferred onto the floor. At the end of the day each little amount accumulates so the person doing the sweep will sweep it all up. But it's another thing to come in from outside, stomp your shoes/boots onto the floor leaving mud or a pile of dirt and then just walking away because it's someone else's chore.

Because Dec is often very cold, icy, and snowy; we put up our outside decorations on a nice day in November often before Thanksgiving. We don't light them up or anything just put them out. We also don't take them down until March because the decorations are frozen in the ground or where the lights are attached to structures. Plus getting up on the roof with snow and/or ice equals not safe. My vote = put them up when it's nice weather. :)

Something to munch on before the main meal or even to bring out later if you eat early. Veggie platter, cheese & crackers, fruit & dip. Or bring some beverages. The relatives we visit don't eat dinner until 3 or 4 so there is a lot of time between breakfast and dinner for those of us around to get hungry. :)

I have thought for a long time that our electoral college should be reformed. The all or nothing winning of electoral votes that most states adhere to doesn't really represent the voters in their states, in my opinion. I would love to see the electoral votes given by district or by percentage of voters. Maybe that whole win by 270 needs to be redone. Although to be honest I haven't done the math or researched enough to determine if it is a more equatable distribution of votes. I do think the electoral college allows for a little more equity among the states vs. the popular vote, but it still only takes 20% (roughly) of the states (if those vote the same way) to determine the outcome so I don't believe our current system is working either. It is not reflective of how close most of the states races were. Although who knows, maybe if more people felt their vote counted, there would be more voters. I know several people in real life who do not vote because their state is predominately one color. They feel like their vote doesn't make a difference.

We go out quite often and have never had a problem. People have asked (usually with school must be off today), but when we say we're homeschooling there's usually an ahh moment. It's common enough around us with many area facilities offering homeschool programs that I don't think it phases many people when they hear we homeschool.

These are a few things my DH likes: Chocolate covered espresso beans Wool socks (think thick boot socks) Books nail clippers chapstick hand warmers to put in his gloves when doing winter yard work pocket knife a bottle of beer (some of the ones he likes are expensive so I'll get one to put in his stocking) Movie tickets popcorn (to pop ourselves) and an assortment of fun flavorings car air freshener Hope you get some great ideas!

I do but it's a very thin stretchy bra almost like a short undershirt vs. a bra. Ever since moving from a B to a DD with pregnancy and nursing it is uncomfortable to lay on my side (my preferred sleeping position) and have my breasts hang to the side. The sleep bra helps keep them in place without being constricting.

All the kids have hampers that when full will be a full load in the washer. We do not separate by colors or anything though. A few special care items, they put in my "special care" laundry bag and I usually wash those. Each person in the house has about 1 load a week of clothes (in the summer the kids can go a little longer between loads), including my DH and myself. I imagine that I would be doing the same amount of laundry just more frequently if I combined all our clothes. Maybe not, who knows. Towels, bedding, and misc things, I wash, but the kids may help fold and put away.

I only have one ring. I never wore it regularly, but now I can't even get it on my finger due to swollen knuckles (well that and pregnancy.) Also, I rarely wear jewelry of any type. DH used to wear his wedding ring all the time, but due to skin issues on his hands no longer wears it.

In my neck of the woods, it's a figure of speech meaning "don't beat yourself up about doing that "unhealthy" thing/food/activity because I myself have done it or something similar - no judgement here." or it's in response to feeling or actually be judged by another for the way you live your life. I know I have said it in both situations. Since it a figure of speech here, it's not meant to be taken literal, but my literal DH likes to add on to it, "except poison mushrooms." If it's said in a judgmental way or given as advice by a professional, then yeah I can see being annoyed by it.

I don't know about your mother, but I know in my own mother, her emotional abuse towards us 7 kids, was an attempt to gain control (not always successfully) when she or life was out of control. I don't think my mother was consciously doing it, and I don't think all abuse is calculated and intentional, but I do think most if not all abuse has a level of control and/or power the abuser is trying to achieve or execute.

If I had the money, I would probably just pay for everyone. As to what is the cut off point, other families I know pay for their college students, but stop after they get jobs and/or marry. Other families, the parents have more financial means and either pay all or part of it (like lodging and meals) for everyone, including spouses and grandchildren. The families that do this want that once a year family get together and know that it couldn't happen given everyone's financial situations. Often it is the parents' Christmas present for the children and their spouses.

I don't think it is uncommon, but only one of my friend's mom cleaned when she visited. Almost of all my male friends, their moms did their laundry when they went home. Of my female friends, it was hit or miss whether their mom did their laundry. If the mom was already doing laundry, she would usually have her daughter sort the laundry out and then the mom would do it with whatever else she was doing. Otherwise, the mom would just let the daughter know the washing machine was free if she had laundry to throw in. Myself - No, I would not clean. Although I wouldn't be opposed to "helping" if we did it together. And I hate laundry so I would give free access to the washing machine (or give you money to do it) but nope, I'm not doing it for you. I'm all over the food though and would come bearing all sorts of delicious goodness for my child and extra to share.

First, the 5yo needs to be acknowledged that she felt uncomfortable and the touch was inappropriate. Validate her feelings and address the issue with the 7yo. Doesn't matter if it was intentional or accidental, the 7yo needs to be more mindful. Second, (if the touch was intentional in nature vs an accidental), the 7yo has either seen things or is a victim and needs counseling. I would probably allow visitation with two caveats, supervision and counseling of the 7yo. The home should not be a unsafe place for the 5yo. The 7yo is very young though too. If help and addressing the issue isn't enough I would suspend visitation while 7yo undergoes counseling. In many ways a parent experiencing this, is in between a rock and a hard place. They are both such young children, and it's never a simple solution.

That is exactly how it would have gone done with my kids. I would have given the same option. At 3 and 5 meltdown would ensue, not at 9 and almost 7 whining takes place. They know I mean business when I say we will leave so they generally start to compromise right away or one will give in to the other. However, each one still has days of meltdowns and refusal to give in. Generally I give them the opportunity to work it out between themselves, but I will jump in to help and offer suggestions if need be.

It is really easy to loose track of time on the computer especially when playing something in which the computer clock is not visible. I would give a 5 min warning, but they always wanted to do one more thing which of course led into one more thing. If after telling them their time was up and they didn't get off the computer (I allowed for time to save and log off), they did not get to play the next day. If they happened to go over without my noticing, I didn't penalize them unless I was sure they knowingly continued to play. i.e. A sibling is saying, "your turn was done at 1:30, it's 1:45 and I want my turn." Yet they continue to play. To solve this problem of the computer because it started to feel like a battle, I had my DH (who is a computer guy) write a script to flash a 3 min warning and then automatically log them off when their time was up. This has been wonderful. The 3 min interruption of the game really gets their attention better than me or anyone saying something. There's no point arguing with the computer.

At this point, I do flouride, but my dentist always asks. When the kids were young, I said no. Dentist and hygienist just said, "okay." I also refused x-rays when they were young too. Only my oldest has had x-rays and it was do to some issues with her teeth. Turned out not to be a problem thank goodness, but an x-ray was needed to determine if there was an actual problem. A good dentist will respect your decision. They may give you info because they believe certain practices are best, but they should treat and talk to you with respect. If not, find a new dentist.

My BFF loves surprise parties and surprises in general. I on the other hand not so much. I have planned several surprise parties for her...because SHE loves them. I've also done regular parties for her, and semi-surprise parties (she knows she's attending an event in her honor but not the details or that I've invited others.) As far as I'm concerned, a party that is meant for the honoree should be for the honoree. Invite people they would want to see and socialize. Have it at a venue they would enjoy. Give them as much or as little information as would make them comfortable and/or look forward to the event. Because I don't like surprise parties, I NEVER plan one unless the person whom the party is intended, I KNOW would love and enjoy it.

I am not a surprise type of person nor do I like being the center of attention. I do not enjoy putting on a happy face. If it were a party that many people were at, I would be gracious until the guests went home. No reason to air dirty laundry. I do enjoy a party and would probably enjoy the party after the initial "surprise" died down. I do not understand why it has to be a "surprise." Why not tell me ahead of time so I can look forward to it? You don't need to tell me all the details. If I found out about a surprise party prior to it happening, I would not show up or I would stay home and greet guests as they come. Essentially I would foil any attempt to surprise me.