I am very much the same as you. While there were lots of factors in our decision to leave public school and try homeschooling, when it comes right down to it, the deepest reason was that I wanted to try it. I wanted the challenge and I felt like no one could do better for my kids than me. And luckily, it has worked for us. I have found myself in very similar situations with co-ops, etc. There is always some reason they don't "work" for me. Honestly, this is a big reason why I hated having kids in the public schools. I always say I was a terrible public school parent. Not sure if it's my INTJ-ness, or if I'm just a PITA, but I'm always looking for improvements, especially in organizational systems, and the way the schools did things drove me NUTS. We have been lucky that we found a solid and consistent peer group for the whole family at our local Y. DH and I made great friends there, and so did our kids. Some of those respective adult and kid friends even belong to each other, so that's great! :) We spend a lot of time there, but because we're not having to go other places where I struggle to be involved socially, it makes it much easier for me. Maybe there is something like that for you out there as well.

A nice salmon filet?

We love to sautee green beans in a little butter with salt and lots of garlic. Yummy and easy! For Christmas Eve I am making this salad. My sister is making prosciutto-wrapped asparagus.

I just saw one on Pinterest that uses coffee. Bet that smells divine!!

Our current house has only two bedrooms, so when ds was born 5 years ago, we moved into the basement. It's finished, but just one giant open room, except for the bathroom and a walk-in closet. It's part bedroom, part playroom, part storage. It's no one's sanctuary, unfortunately -- least of all mine. I would prefer not to let anyone outside the immediate family down there, mostly because I'm embarrassed by all the plastic storage boxes stacked up along the walls, etc. The kids hang out there way more than I do. There is a TV and their Wii is hooked up there. I discourage them from taking their friends down there, though. We are building a new house next year, and I can't wait to have a real bedroom again! I want to feel like I have a space that's just for me. I will probably be a little more protective of it then, but I would never make it off-limits to the kids, just expect them to respect it as they should any room in the house. I do, however, teach them that other people's spaces are private, and that we don't go wondering around someone's home (outside the areas where we've been invited) without permission. Learned the hard way that I needed to make that lesson explicit! :o

I hate these things, but my go-to is usually a Chia Pet. It always gets a lot of laughs.

My 10yo still thinks The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is HILARIOUS! So do I. :D

I'm lucky that dh has always been great about helping around the house. Early in our marriage we both worked full-time and we got used to the divide-and-conquer routine. He cooks breakfast every morning and dinner two or three nights per week. Often for dinner I will start the process (e.g., chopping veggies or putting the main dish in the crock-pot) early in the day, and he will finish it after we get home from the gym. His version of cleaning the kitchen is putting the leftovers away, and I am usually pretty tired at night, so he stacks everything up and I clean in the morning. He pretty much always gives ds his bath and brushes his teeth and tucks the kids into bed. He usually does the vacuuming, although that doesn't always happen as often as it should. For years he pitched in on bathrooms, but now those are part of dd's chores. He's great about checking behind dd to make sure she's caring for her cat. He single-handedly takes care of the yard/exterior of the house. He's only done laundry when I've been on bedrest or sick for multiple days, but he's good about remembering to carry the full basket downstairs when he's going, or bringing the hamper up on laundry days. And laundry is one of those chores I really don't mind. Also, he kills spiders. I'd keep him around even if that was the only way he helped! :laugh: I don't have better advice than what you've already gotten, but there's a few things if you need a list to get you going. Basically, we don't keep score. We approach the chores like we do the rest of life: as a team.

We more or less spend equally but we're not dogmatic about it. Neither of my kids has ever wanted one particular item so badly we felt obligated to buy it over everything else. If that happened, we'd take it into consideration. As it is, we pick and choose a combination of things they've asked for, things they need, and things we think they will enjoy until we've met the budget for each child. DD asked for a Wii U this year, and we did decide not to go that route, partly because it would have eaten up our entire budget for her gifts, and partly because we don't feel like we need any more devices in our house that encourage us to sit around and stare at a screen. She may be slightly disappointed, but I think she would have been more disappointed if that was the only item she received.

Riders are my FAVORITE -- reasonably priced, hold up well, and fit GREAT, even on a short curvy gal like me. I'll second the OP's recommendation!

Yep, totally. I was hoping it would go away after ds but he's 5 and it ain't looking good. I really do think it has a lot to do with the demands of life at this stage. I often say I have to do all the thinking for four people.

This week I'm actually using chicken leg quarters because they were on sale, but so far we've gotten: chicken with veggies (I roasted the chicken in the Crock-pot with a quick rub and carrots, celery, onion and potatoes) and chicken fried rice. I put all the bones and veggie scraps back in the Crock-pot on Monday, cooked it overnight, and got four spaghetti jars of a really rich broth. First time I've tried that but it was great. Tomorrow I'll use the broth as a starter for chicken noodle soup with more carrots and celery and some of the leftover chicken. I'll use whatever remains of the chicken for chicken salad sandwiches, with leftover carrot and celery sticks. I have a few potatoes left too, so I might make some homemade oven chips. I will add that: 1) we have had to be strict on portion control this way, especially on the first night when we would have eaten more chicken if we could have (but that is not a bad thing for us), and 2) these are not meals that my kids just loooove, but then I have always been a pretty take-it-or-leave-it kind of mom when it comes to food. Ham was another one I have done in the past. I think I was getting three or maybe four meals out of a big ham. Want to share your favorite recipes for using up a ham or turkey?

What size pork and beef roasts do you buy when you stretch them like that, and how many people are you feeding?

Does anyone have a good meal plan for stretching one main ingredient over several days' worth of meals? Meat is expensive, so we are trying to cut back on the amount we buy. I have successfully gotten five meals from a whole chicken, which worked great, but chicken gets old if that's all you've got. I haven't found any great ideas for stretching cuts of beef or pork for more than one or two meals. I am not what you'd call a creative cook. Would love some inspiration! I don't mind bulking things up with extra veggies (especially the cheap kind, like carrots, celery and cabbage), but we try to stay away from meals where the main ingredient is carbs (e.g., spaghetti). Beans are a staple around here, but I can't serve them more than once a week without risking a mutiny... I swear, if people in this house didn't have to eat or wear clothes, I could retire. Some days it seems like all I do is cook/think about cooking/clean up from cooking and wash/fold/put away laundry. :blink:

First read it aloud to dd in kindy, so age 5. She's reading it for herself now for 5th grade lit, at age 10. If you can find a good local stage production to go along with it, it's totally worth it! DD and I used to go every year as our special mommy/dd Christmas outing. So sad our local theater group closed down. :(

Agree with Tammy. It sounds like your DH's heart is in the right place, but the holiday gathering is perhaps not the best venue to stage a reconciliation. Especially if it's not something you're ready to pursue. At best, if you want to give things with Sarah another shot, I'd do as I said before, and look for neutral ground somewhere in between during her visit, before (or probably after) Christmas. Something like a museum or historical park, etc. -- where there is enough space for everyone to move around and activities so you aren't forced to talk if you don't want to. Saying you want the chance to meet her new child might be the opening for you to extend an olive branch -- especially since she never acknowledged your kids, and now that she is a parent, that might hit home for her. As I said, this is IF AND ONLY IF you -- personally -- yourself -- for your own best interests want to make an attempt at reconciliation. If you're not ready, that's okay too. I have been in situations where my parents expected me to go along to get along because I was supposedly "above" poor behavior and the other person was not -- even though I was being wronged in the process. It's not fun, and you don't have to subject yourself to that. ((((HUGS))))

Yep, after the follow-up, it's a definite no. Sounds like your family know that *you're* the reasonable one, so they expect you to play nice, even while they cater to your less reasonable sister. Been there, done that. Stay home and enjoy your traditions with your little family. Still don't understand why your DH wants you to go?

Weird... my 10yo and I had this exact conversation a couple of weeks ago! They would get along great! :)

Honestly, I think your parents should have told Sarah she would have to come another time, since they already had plans to visit you. But I don't know the full circumstances, so maybe that is unfair. If your parents and Anna aren't pushing to see you over Christmas, and you don't want to go, I wouldn't stress about going. I can't imagine not spending the holidays without my sister and my parents, but we are close and it's not stressful. Why does your DH want to go so badly? Is there somewhere you could all (or just Anna & Co. plus your parents) meet in the middle for the day? If you have an activity planned, perhaps seeing Sarah wouldn't be so bad?

You have gone above and beyond in your efforts to forge a relationship with your dh's family, and to see that he and your children have one too. I, for one, find that to be generous and selfless and admirable on your part. You should be commended for it. Unfortunately, in the end, it takes two parties to maintain a relationship, and the other party clearly isn't interested in treating you with the love and respect you've shown them. I know it must be devastating, especially since you care deeply for your MIL, to be rejected by her. But please understand that she has not rejected you, she has chosen her husband. She chose him years ago, and probably will always choose him when it comes right down to it. It's clear where her loyalties lie. She will have to live with the consequences of her actions. Please don't feel bad about not continuing to put yourself and your family in harm's way.

We bought a Radio Flyer for DD when she was about 2. DS was outside riding on it this afternoon, eight years later. It's been well-loved, sometimes a little too much, IYKWIM. ;) It's still in great shape -- nice enough that I will probably hold onto it for any future grandkids. It's like this one: http://www.amazon.com/Radio-Flyer-Classic-Dual-Tricycle/dp/B00004TXM7/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1448658049&sr=8-8&keywords=radio+flyer+trike

That makes me feel better. It took us a year to plan and save for WDW. It will be several years before we are able to go back. But we have already said that we will try to take one more trip before DD graduates from high school. Our plan was to make the trip once when DS was old enough to enjoy it and DD still young enough to have a child's experience of "Disney magic" -- which was a limited window for us given their age gap. Our next trip will be with teens, which will give us a totally different type of experience. We will do Universal that time around. Hopefully by then DS will also be a HP fan, and we can all enjoy WWoHP together. MIL (at one point -- before the revelation the DD knew about the trip) said we could come along and bring DS, but that's not possible financially right now.

Honestly, I can't even begin to describe her. Based on the (admittedly VERY little) I know about NPD and BPD, neither seems to fit exactly. Both of those seem to describe people who intentionally manipulate, but MIL is so dumb I just can't imagine her having some master plan, if that makes sense. She really lives in another world. It's like she concocts a fantasy for herself. Sometimes that's around things she wishes were true (e.g., she can afford to spend money on whatever she wants and decide to take DD on a fancy vacation without our permission) and sometimes it's around things she fears. What I call OCD tendencies may not be related to OCD at all, and actually related to this alternate reality, I'm not sure. For example, she has to unplug certain appliances every night, but not others, because in her mind those particular appliances are "dangerous." She keeps a cup of water in her microwave at all times, in case the microwave accidentally turns on. She obsesses over having cancer but chain-smokes like a chimney. Shortly before DH and I were married, she up and announced that she was moving out of the house she shared with FIL and into an apartment. I remember the day clearly, and I remember DH laughing when she said it. Turns out it was not a joke. She had become obsessed with meeting people in online chat rooms for quite awhile before that (this was in the early days of the Internet), and she turned her apartment into some kind of fantasy zone where she could spend 12-18 hours a day chatting online. No one in the family was allowed in her home. DH was in college at the time, and she was supposed to give him money for his school books, so he and I stopped by when we were out to pick it up (unannounced, but this was his MOTHER). She was ANGRY that we would dare come there. She handed him a check through a crack in the door with the chain lock still attached. She was visibly disgusted that he would need her support in any way (he was 19). She also refused routinely to give him grocery money. He was living in an apartment instead of with his dad because his brother couldn't afford a place their mother thought was suitable for him, so her solution was to move DH in so she and FIL could continue to support BIL without wounding his pride. They didn't want DH to work because he struggled academically. During that time, DH got two meals a day at best, and usually one of those was at my parents' house. My mother used to box up extra groceries for him so he'd have a little something to eat at home. During that same time period, she was driving 100 miles to take a random person she knew from her chat rooms to doctors' appointments but couldn't be bothered to visit her gravely ill MIL in the hospital up the street. During the whole separation, FIL was making every effort to salvage their marriage -- taking her on vacations and to concerts, trying to discuss their issues, asking her to go to marriage counseling -- and she continually blamed him for their problems, saying he never did anything for her. Meanwhile (and this only came out later) she had flings with at least two other men. It ebbs and flows. After a couple of relatively quiet years, she hooked up with some loser guy that she let move into her house. No one knew anything about him. At Christmas that year, her family decided at the last minute to change the time of their celebration. This was a major problem for DH and me, because all of our family is close by, at the time all of our grandparents were living, and we spent the holidays running from one house to the next, as we were expected to put in an appearance everywhere. We told her we would have to come late to her family's gathering. She was furious, even called FIL and demanded that he make DH change his plans, but in the end we reached an agreement to leave my family's party 30 minutes earlier than planned in order to be at her family's party earlier. When we arrived, we discovered that she had left and gone to visit the boyfriend's mother in a town an hour away. She didn't even see DH for Christmas, after all that. The loser boyfriend later stole her TV and a box of her checks and disappeared. Typing all this out, I look at it and go, this is really CRAZY. Who lives like this? And there's more. But there are also long stretches when things seem relatively normal. But she has been downright cruel to DH at times. How he still loves her is beyond me. He doesn't even seem to see it, but maybe he's just numb to it. I told him years ago during one of her stints that he is an adult, and if he chooses to continue to see her, that is his decision. But if she ever treated my children the way she was treating him, she wouldn't ever see them again. Unfortunately, we may be nearing that point. DH wants to tell her she's not welcome for Christmas. I hate to see my children lose their grandmother. But right now I'm not sure if that's not best for them in the end. As far as what to do with her if/when she goes broke, I guess we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. But no way can this woman live in my house. We will have to find some other alternative.

My cousin's little girl was eating ketchup on her green beans at Thanksgiving dinner today... :ack2: