My 9-yr old is exactly like this! He's a perfectionist; if he can't get it completely right the first time, he shuts down and immediately announces that he can't do it at all. I've tried to show him that making mistakes is part of the learning process, and that mom and dad make mistakes all the time, and we keep trying until we can do it, but he's stubborn as a mule. The worst part is that I'm never sure whether he's just being stubborn because he can't get it right, or that he's really not ready for that kind of work yet. I had this problem with his reading, and I pushed too hard at the wrong time. Result: although he *can* read, he hates to :crying:
I don't have any solutions, but I have lots of sympathy!