I'm inclined to just set my own priorities. Bees, aquatic life and kids' safety outweigh neighbors' preference for weed-free lawns. But I'm crotchety. I've heard good things about the Weed Dragon.

I'm so happy for you! How wonderful! Now rest up, get well and enjoy moving in. :-)

Attwood's books are the ones I'd recommend as a general reference. If you have more specific issues, we can try to suggest other resources.

I think this sums the situation up fairly well. One thing people even in this country often don't fully grasp, I think, is how very many guns are in private ownership here. Even if we declared them illegal this afternoon, there are many millions in circulation. They are and would continue to be easily available, legally or illegally. In my dreams, I would prefer a society like you all have in the UK and New Zealand. But in reality, here in the US, a homeowner would be very foolish to risk his life on the assumption that intruders are not armed with guns.

[quote name="G5052" post= All bad diseases though. IMHO prevention is worthwhile even it if is not 100%. This. However bad the temporary reaction, it beats getting yellow fever. I read Molly Caldwell Crosby's book, The American Plague, a few years ago, and ended up thoroughly unnerved by the potential for a recurrence.

We faced this situation with my parents, and ended up hiring a string of people to care for them while living at their house. It basically accomplished the goal: they were able to live out their lives at home, which was their expressed preference. It was not easy. I still have serious regrets and concerns about some elements of their care, but I suppose that would be the case no matter what type of care we had employed. A few thoughts, based on our experience: Do background checks for anyone you hire. We insisted on complying with all employment laws and paying appropriate taxes. We encountered a few workers who did not want their income reported because they were receiving disability. Best make expectations clear *before* the new employee shows up to work and you bring out papers for them to sign (our first hire: oops). Related to this, if you aren't comfortable with accounting or employment laws, consider hiring an accountant to help. Also, remember that you'll need to keep each employee's personal information secure, including from other employees. Think hard about whatever small valuables or collectibles might be in the house, and try to remove any you'd be heartbroken to lose. Hire more than one caregiver. The stresses involved in the job can be extreme. You want people who feel sane and well-rested. We ended up with three people alternating 24 hour shifts, but if my mother had lived longer, we were at the stage of needing to hire separate people for the overnight shifts, because she was awake, wandering the house and experiencing delusions many nights. Caregivers get to the ends of their ropes pretty fast under those conditions, and separate overnight care is expensive. Put security cameras in several significant spots and make sure you openly check recordings often. Keep a close eye on what happens. I lived close enough to be in and out every day, but if you can't, stay in phone contact daily with the caregivers as well as your parents and try to have someone local stopping by often. See if you can find a doctor who specializes in house calls. We found one such practice locally. It was helpful for the caregivers to hear what the doctor said about my parents' condition. Also, as they got sicker, having at least a GP coming to them made life easier, though we still had to haul them to specialists occasionally. Spend as much time with them as you can. Seriously. Hugs. I do know my parents were glad to be at home. My mother's old dog was always near her, my father had the bench where he loved to sit in the yard. It was hard, but I think it was the right thing to do for them, since it was their choice.

Girls in our family had haircuts like those around that time.

So glad to hear this news! Now hoping Lyme turns out to be the answer and respond beautifully to treatment.

Thank goodness.

This. I've heard it in the sense of "salty language," but that might be a bit dated.

Thinking of you.

Bump

Congratulations! What happy news!

Any information is welcome. :-) Obviously they're Catholic. Beyond that, any reviews of their online classes? I'm particularly looking at their Algebra 2 and Chemistry for dd's 10th grade. How rigorous or not, how much work to expect, how accessible their teachers are for help are all topics of interest.

More hugs and best wishes. You are a blessing in that boy's life, even if your role is a temporary one. I hope today is much better than yesterday and some significant help can be arranged.

That is beyond absurd. Are they trying to leave this problem with you, hoping they don't have to find a different solution? It sounds to me as if you really have reached your limit. You can't destroy your own health and sanity.

Oh, Melissa, I'm so sorry. Have they essentially abandoned you with this situation, then? Do they realize the severity? I mean, they knew all the problems from the start, didn't they?

In an immediate sense, do you still have responsibility for any kids right this minute? The crying and raging might be cathartic, if no kids are around to worry about. It might actually not be a bad thing. Otherwise my thoughts go to the wide range of sensory calming techniques. Do you have a punching bag? Paper it's okay to shred? A tub to soak in? Your frustration, anger and exhaustion are so incredibly legitimate. I hope the psych is helping you find some actual help and solutions.

Hugs (((Melissa))) What has the psychologist had to say about coping with the new arrival? Does she feel this situation is sustainable? Because frankly if she'd told me I needed time to myself, given your situation, I might have headed out and left her with the kids. More hugs.

My older girl has a hard time with it all, too, even though she does intellectually understand. It's hard, and time and maturity may help. Hugs. Agreeing with all OhElizabeth said about strategies. We found some bedroom modifications very helpful: nothing in the carpentry line, but creating a small, soothing place. We also got a hammock like dd loved in OT. The more things you can do ahead of time to provide regular stress relief, the easier life gets. And, like she said, getting folks to understand that sudden changes really are a neurological insult, not just an excuse for spoiled behavior, will help. Maybe talking about possible changes in plans ahead of time might help: just more regular practice with the idea that things change, and we can have a backup plan. Good luck.

Yes, most certainly she is precious. Usually once the meltdown starts, you just have to wait it out. You can help a bit by not increasing stress on her during a meltdown: that is not a time to demand better behavior or lay out consequences, for example. You might need to not talk at all, or it might help if you can quietly tell your dd you understand why she is upset. We found several techniques helpful, over the long term. We found adaptations of meltdown behaviors which we approved for stress-reduction purposes and practiced repeatedly when dd was calm. For example, she tended to tear things up, so we made a big pile of old newspapers and encouraged her to tear them up when she felt upset. This was done as part of ABA and, as I said, practiced a lot. We tore stuff up and threw it around with her, then we all cleaned up. When she did this on her own when she was really upset, we praised her liberally. Once she had a few coping skills and we knew she could use them under stress, we set boundaries to the meltdowns ahead of time. So, tearing designated paper was fine, but tearing other things would result in consequence X. We praised use of good coping skills all.the.time. We did not react to the meltdowns themselves beyond ensuring safety. This has helped here -- well, I'd say immeasurably, only ABA measures everything, lol. I hope you get some good answers from your evaluation and find strategies that work for you. eta: Appropriate medication has also helped.

Because if that's why people object to the federal programs, I have mixed feelings in response. I get the desire for more state control, and in theory have no objection. But if you remove federal contributions, are you comfortable accepting that a child in, say, Arkansas or Mississippi will have very different opportunities from a child in Maryland or California? Are you comfortable with great inequalities, or is there a way to remedy them that I am missing?

So am I hearing correctly that there are several objections to the federal funding: 1: Inefficiency of multi-layered bureaucracy, 2: Constitutional limits to appropriate activities for federal, as opposed to state or local, government, 3: A sense that it is perhaps better to force/influence more people to be involved in volunteerism and service on a local level. Am I heading in the right direction, for those who feel this way?

Jaw dropping. I had not seen that. Thank you for posting it. ETA: glad to see that was wrong.

Do you feel this sort of aid would be adequate to meet all the needs which government agencies currently fill? What happens to people who are socially isolated? My sense-- and I'm in an area with a middle-of-the-road cost of living, a fair number of wealthy folks, lots of middle-class, and pockets of real poverty-- is that no number of spaghetti dinners will fill the need. There are simply too many needs, of too many sorts. The reason so many government programs have developed is that there actually is real complexity in meeting needs. If government doesn't do it, then any other organization which truly fills the same needs would develop the same complexity. But how would any other organization get the necessary funding?