For the people arguing that charities, rather than government, should meet needs like food, shelter and healthcare: How does this actually work? How can a charity reliably collect and distribute enough money and other forms of aid to meet the need? The benefit of doing it through taxes is that, as a society, we can decide who contributes, and how much, and have a mechanism for collection and distribution. How else is it possible to meet everyone's needs? How does a needy family find the aid, if it is all provided by private charities? Do they go from church to church, hoping someone can provide food or keep the power on? Then what about next week, and the week after that? How about medical care? I'd like to understand better how others envision this system working.

Hugs. I'm so sorry. I hope you find some path that will give you some peace and give your brother the best outcome possible.

I'm another who grew up on Krispy Kreme. If we were lucky, my mother would stop on the way home from picking us up at school to get a box, fresh out of the oven. They hold lots of fond memories, and I still love them. That said, I hate the artificial colors they use. My kids do better without those, and we try to avoid them, so it's plain glazed doughnuts for us at KK. I'll be glad if the US ever catches up with Europe and ditches those artificial dyes.

Thank you, chiguirre! That's an option I wouldn't have found.

It's a long drive down the Eastern Shore to Norfolk. 2-3 hours, maybe? You might be better off finding a zoo somewhere along the way as you drive south.

We did this last summer. We rented a cottage on E. Side Rd that had a great screened porch which looked right across the Assateague Channel. Every morning ponies were visible grazing in the marshes (binoculars helped!). I think there are a lot of nice cottages on VRBO. One fun thing was a boat tour, though it would be pretty chilly in April. We might have gone with Captain Dan's Tours... can't remember for sure. The captain was full of information about birds, local history, and especially the ponies. He got us pretty close to several groups, while still giving them enough space to feel safe. He knew them all as individuals, and told us about their histories and personalities. It was probably the most fun thing we did there.

I'm so sorry. I hope you get some good news soon. Hugs.

Thanks so much, everyone! I think I will talk to Lukeion, as suggested. At least we do have more time to figure out the transcript. I appreciate the suggestions.

Thanks! Yes, the tutor is the option dd prefers. I'm just afraid that at some point she's going to crash and burn under the pressure, and then it will be too late to switch to a different class. There is a lot of ground to make up. Any thoughts on how understanding colleges would be of a student going backwards to catch up? Or how different possibilities are reflected on a transcript?

Dd14 is a freshman in our local public high school, where we have realized that academics are sorely lacking. She wants to return to homeschooling, which she quit in the middle of eighth grade because of various complications of family life. In the fall of her 8th grade year she took Lukeion's Latin 1a and made a 97. Since then, in school, her Latin instruction has been progressively worse each semester. She has always made As. In theory, in her public school, she took Latin 2 this past fall and is now in Latin 3. In practice her class is still near the beginning of the Ecce Romani 2 book. She would like to return to Lukeion, but has not covered anything approaching their expectations for Latin 3. How can I get her back on track without this looking too bad on her transcript? I feel so bad for her, because this is not her fault. If I hired a tutor and she worked through a bit over a chapter a week of Wheelock between now and classes starting in fall, she could make up the lost time. She'd need to work hard and consistently, and it would be expensive, but I'm assuming I could eventually put this year on a transcript as Latin 2 and have her do Latin 3 with Lukeion. Or I could persuade her to take their (Transitions?) year between Latin 2 and 3. Or I could call this year Latin 1 (could I? When she's been enrolled in 1,2, and 3 already, and theoretically aced them all?) and put her in Lukeion's Latin 2 next year. She is a motivated student and a perfectionist who has her eye on some very selective colleges. She wants to do well in AP Latin and have a transcript that does not cause problems. She is very resistant to going backwards, but horrified at the thought that she's been wasting time in classes that are not equipping her to do well. What would you do?

How very hard; I'm so sorry. Sending hugs and good thoughts.

When we had a heavy snow, a family of several boys came around offering to shovel our walk. They ended up doing the whole driveway, too. I was very happy to pay them for that! Now that the grass is growing, they are pushing a mower around on weekends and developing a very tidy business. I'm impressed by their hard work. I haven't got a clue what they're using the money for, nor do I care, but it could probably fund some trips or extracurricular activities pretty easily.

Thanks so much for all the ideas. I'm on the run this evening but will be back later.

I'm feeling more than a bit overwhelmed. Dd14 has been in 9th grade in public school this year, but has become frustrated with how little she is accomplishing there. She has decided she would like to return to homeschooling for the rest of high school. I was not expecting this, but basically agree with her decision. However, she will need to outsource everything. Registration for online classes is already open and we need to make decisions quickly. How do you balance a reasonably intensive online literature class with time for writing instruction? She is very interested in Lukeion's Muse and Myth series. She has taken a Lukeion class in the past, and I have no doubt she can handle the workload. But do students in these classes take separate writing classes as well, or are the writing requirements considered sufficient to serve both purposes? I am concerned that she might need more actual writing instruction than that would provide, but Lukeion plus a writing class becomes a fairly heavy load. She does want to take both semesters of the Lukeion class. And, is there such a thing as too much ancient literature on a high school transcript? If a student wants to do two years of ancient lit, should one be in an elective slot, rather than English? Also, how do you choose between a stronger focus on literature and doing the two AP English classes? In the high school, the AP classes are simply the only options for strong English students. But I would like dd to be able to focus during her remaining high school years on getting as thorough a grounding in English and American lit as we can manage, and I'm concerned about putting too great a focus on the APs as opposed to the literature. I'm not sure if the AP classes share the failing of the high school classes she has been in, which have placed a very narrow focus on teaching to the state benchmark tests. I know it is not necessary to take AP classes before taking the tests. Are there online literature courses which have a good balance of literature and writing instruction, and which prepare students well for APs without making that their exclusive focus? She is also interested in taking a creative writing class. For reference, she is a capable and highly motivated student, but the high school has asked very little of her, so she is out of the habit of having to work hard and budget her time. I want to give her enough but not drown her in work this coming fall. I'll appreciate any advice.

I am so sorry.

This does seem over the top. I think I might just conclude, as you did, that she might have *some* problem.

I liked this to acknowledge it; I'm so sorry for what you've gone through, and I hope you and your son can find comfort some day in memories of his cat. We never know the full extent of what a pet may mean to someone else.

He was anxious, told you he needed help, and didn't get help. Punishing him seems like a great way to make him shut down completely. You are increasing the stress which is preventing him from functioning. He needs support, not punishment. Praise for trying, help along the way, not removal of things that may help him relieve stress. People have given great examples of what support looks like: sitting by him, helping him until he feels confident. I do not understand your approach. Do you not feel supporting him was your responsibility? I do know dealing with all this is awfully hard, especially when you are feeling sick and maybe overwhelmed. It can be hard to think through options when you yourself are under stress. I think that's kind of the same problem your son was having. Good luck.

I have one with ASD, too. The activities you are listing above are things that he wanted to do, and maybe things with no deadline or consequences attached. Clearly they didn't trigger his anxiety. I can understand why the PowerPoint assignment was different. It isn't that he really can't do the work if calm and engaged, it's that he was in low-level meltdown because of his anxiety. Does his teacher know about his ASD? It matters to his ability - not choice - to complete this assignment. He does need extra support. I think he needed you or your husband directly and supportively involved from the moment he told you there was a problem. That is a realistic expectation given the ASD. If the teacher knows about his ASD, or you could tell her, could you explain how this situation affected him and ask for an extension? That would be reasonable if he had an IEP or 504. He did do the work, and his disability prevented his finishing without support, which wasn't available although he made clear that he needed it. He deserves a chance to finish.

I am so sorry. How very awful. Sending hugs and good thoughts to all of you.

Being closer helps, I think. When I went through this, my mom was the one keeping everything very short. Phone calls were short, visits were short. She'd say she knew we were busy and sort of hustle us out even if we had plenty of time. The kids were older and not disruptive, her ability to cope was just very limited. She slept a lot, too, but then was up all night. Just spend all the time there you can, even if the visits are only an hour or so. You'll know you are doing what you can, and they may relax as the visits become more frequent and predictable.

Hugs. It's hard. Will you be significantly closer after the move?

This is all good information, thanks! How about disadvantages? Can anyone think of problems this could cause dd later? She is kind of marginal in a lot of ways, and I could see her either becoming more functional as she matures or less. How about community college admissions, getting a job, etc? I'm assuming the SSI would not pay out if she was able to earn a living. I could never envision her interested in or suited to a military career. I guess the ADA would keep a disability designation from harming her chances for employment, at least in theory...?

Okay, this must be what the doctor was talking about, thanks! Any idea how hard it was?

Me too! Even just trying to get through to them on the phone is a nightmare.