Your husband needs to grow his OWN backbone, cut the apron strings and LEAVE his parents.....He is disrespecting you and all that you two had already agreed upon. Sorry- but I'd be furious. I guess next week I could discuss the merits/drawbacks of the choices but, he'd be sleeping on the couch or with the dog this week. How insulting! Has he done this before?

I'm sorry you have this hurt. I'm familiar with it...... my mother really has nothing to do with us. I used to be the one to lure her and coax her to have some sort of relationship with our kids.....after several years of that, I realized she had no interest in it on her own so, I stopped trying. We are where we are now because of that. My mother has labeled me things, too. 'Bad daughter' might even be one of those names she's put on me! I do what I think is my duty by being honoring and checking on her health, sending her occasional updates on our 5 kids a and Christmas/Birthday/Mother's Day cards or gifts. It's very painful but I think she's gotten the worst end of it as she doesn't even know our children and has missed out on how neat they are! The only advice I have for you is to take some time to figure out what is really necessary. What are you REALLY obligated to do? I'd vote for less frequent contact, to start with. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

My mother and I are complete opposites in the temperament department. She has been a good listener, at times. Because we are so different, personality-wise and philosophically, she found it hard, I think , to respond to me. She doesn't like my life choices (SAHM, homeschooling, having "so many" children (5) -her words) and what our values are. She has held grudges against me for 20-30 years about some of the decisions I've made and never cared to understand where I was coming from. It was simply easier for her to label me and withdraw. She's not a nurturing, warm personality and not at all sentimental. I AM wired that way but can still work with different kinds of people, if they will be honest and open. Her grudges, anger and criticism has pretty much severed contact between our family and herself. I believe I need to be honoring and respectful so I periodically inquire to her health and send her updates on our family. She rarely responds- if she does, it is full of bitterness and venom. I hope she can find peace in her life (her hatred of my father is the fuel of her life, unfortunately) through Christ and I pray for her. The pain of it has greatly motivated me to work through ANY obstacle we may encounter with our own children.... any differences we may have will NOT preclude a relationship with them. My unconditional love for my kids is permanent and voiced regularly.

Same thing happened to me.....I went off them and we used other forms of BC. I'm surprised the doc was not helpful....there are other dosages of BCP that may not give you this side effect.

Run-on sentences.....Punctuation, PLEASE.....very difficult to READ.

The original Cohen lyrics are melancholy and somber, in my opinion, but have their place in the right atmosphere. It's haunting melody stays with you. The Opening Ceremonies ought to be where optimism, gratitude and hope are expressed for the world coming together, the beauty of the earth and the dedication of the atheletes. I would have much preferred to hear the Il Divo version of Hallelujah. They have completely changed the text,I realize, but it would have been a better fit. These words speak of hope and miracles. It is sung in Spanish. Listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztAONAa3UE0 Lyrics and Translation Halleluia Lyrics to Hallelujah : Sebastien: Un soldado a casa hoy regreso Y un niño enfermo se curo Y hoy no hay trabajo en el bosque de la lluvia Un desamparado se salvo Por causa de una buena acción Y hoy nadie lo repudia, hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah Carlos: Un ateo que consiguió creer Y un hambriento hoy tiene de comer Y hoy donaron a una iglesia una fortuna David: Que la guerra pronto se acabara Que en el mundo al fin reinara la paz Que no habrá miseria alguna, hallelujah Urs: Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah Por que la norma sea el amor Y no gobierne la corrupción Sino lo bueno y lo mejor del alma pura Todos: Porque dios nos proteja de un mal final Porque un día podamos escarmentar Con que acaben con tanta furia, hallelujah Urs: Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah David: Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah Sebastien: A soldier returned home today And a sick child was cured And there is no work in the rain forest today A desolate person was saved Because of a good deed And today nobody condemned him, hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah Carlos: An atheist came to believe And he who was hungry was given food today And today a church was donated a fortune David: That the wars will end soon That the world will be peaceful in the end That not a single misery will exist Urs: Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah So that love will be the norm And not government corruption But the good and the best of a pure soul All: Because god will protect us from a tragic ending Because one day we will be able to learn our lesson From that which could end in such fury, hallelujah Urs: Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah David: Hallelujah, hallelujah

One of our sons has proposed the same idea- all the string bass players want to rent a house together next year- guys and girls- about 4 or 5 of them. We've told him our position on it- they shouldn't live with girls.... We're probably going to cut the $ supply for housing if he does it. He knows better- he's pushing the envelope and I'm praying a LOT that the Lord hits him over the head with some sense.

We bought tickets for the first showing tomorrow afternoon. Our son is SOOOO excited!!

We met our genetics doc through Childrens' Hospital in DC..... Dr. Ken Rosenbaum. Don't know if he's still there but his help was INVALUABLE. I'd try a nearby teaching hospital, large hospital medical center or medical school. Hope you'll get the information you need.

I appreciate your loving attitude. That goes a long way to show them honor. A good place to start is with these 2 great books. They're in my library and might be in yours: Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1265594767&sr=1-1 The Mom Factor - same authors http://www.amazon.com/Mom-Factor-John-Townsend/dp/0310225590/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1265594767&sr=1-10 The authors are Christians and give great ideas how to deal with exactly what you're facing. I highly recommend them. These helped me with difficult family members and things are better.

Believe it or not, BJU has a good music school- just don't like their politics. We're familiar with the Cleveland and Peabody Conservatories- both are excellent. Our son is a music major at JMU- James Madison U in VA. Very good school and opening a huge new performing arts center this spring. They need it as the music school is growing in numbers and acclaim. Check it out: http://www.jmu.edu/music/

The thing that helped me the most when our twins were little as well as with the three younger boys is that we maintained a 'nap' time until they were 5 or 6. The twins or two of the boys usually shared a room, so somebody usually used my bed. They didn't have to sleep, but they had to be quiet/silent. They were only allowed to leave the room to use the bathroom. They were not to speak to me unless they were bleeding! I needed the break. It would last anywhere from 1 -2 hours. I sometimes put a timer in the hallway or the bathroom (out of reach) to alert them when it was over. They were used to a real nap and then I just used the time for it for quiet time. If they're not used to it, then training to be quiet and considerate of other people will take time. I used to take privileges away if they couldn't be quiet or snuck out of the bedroom. We had a star system on a poster board and they earned a gold star for complying with the naptime expectations. Reward for stars were given on Friday night- family night. Three year olds can be trained (although it takes awhile) to control their volume, complaining and behaviour. This is where I started them memorizing Phillipians 4:8-10 and 2:14. They could do it enough to repeat it to me when they were caught ...... it took time. The reward system did really help. Another thing that I had to force myself to do was to really try to get outside everyday....not easy when we lived in Seattle when they were all very young. We invested in raincoats and boots and just walked around on our little cul de sac in the drizzle sometimes. Splashing in puddles, running and yelling was just fine outside and they needed to burn off steam. I needed a change of scenery as well. Playing quiet, serence music sometimes helped set the mood also. We set up a pattern of ME getting out every Sat. morning- even if it was just to walk around the mall, go to the library or Borders or go garage-sale-ing.... I could count on that and it helped me. My dh loved having them to himself, cooking a big breakfast, doing baths, reading stories, wrestling or whatever... Even now, 20 some years later, Sat. morning is still time that I will sleep in a little bit. I hope this might be helpful. It will get better and I hope you can look back on these young years with affection, even though, it's hard sometimes. Blessings on you.

Check out their website and contact a state manager: www.classicalconversations.com We're in our 4th year with CC 3 years in Foundations (doing all 3 cycles) and now our son is enrolled in Challenge A. We really like it. To answer one of the questions put forth: It does not take away parents' autonomy and freedom. You can incorporate as much of what is presented as you want- especially at the Foundations level. Even at the Challenge level, you can pick and choose which subjects (seminars) you want your child to take. It gives as much of a backbone or foundation as YOU want. There have been some other threads discussing CC before on these boards.

I'm still doing Level One.... it's hard but is getting easier. It's nice to know someone is trying, too!

The other posters have given you wise counsel. May I suggest a book that will help? The Mom Factor - Townsend and Cloud It describes different personalities - yours might be "The Controlling Mom" or "Still-The-Boss Mom". The authors give help to know how to deal with the problems. Another book that is good for lots of different situations is, including yours: Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud as well. Your library probably has both of them. Mine does.

I searched the market for many months and chose a Babylock....really like it - easy to use, reliable and what a step up from my 30 yr-old Viking...today's machines are 'computers with a needle'. I heartily recommend them- several models- a good range of prices.

Shouldn't hurt him at all- he might just be a bit burpy from the yeast.

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May I recommend the Boundaries books? They're very helpful about exactly what you're going through and YES- your husband needs to 'man- up' and keep his mom in line. He's disrespecting YOU. I wish I could give you a hug and I'm sorry you're going through this. We have a difficult person in our extended family and this book gave me a guideline for how to respond to her. http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264360200&sr=1-1

Try: Puyallup A town in western WA state.

First of all, I'm so sorry you're going through this....it sounds very hard.:grouphug: Your dd could be going through a lot of things. First off- yes, I agree with a previous poster- she has 'lost' her father. So, some of this is her way of grieving. I also agree that you should skip the pastor. If they have any training, it's pastoral and not geared to deal with actual diagnoses and treatments. Find a certified, licensed counselor and don't be afraid to shop around. Your relationship with her and her relationship with her step-dad and new sibs is the most important thing to repair first. Academics can surely wait for those things. She needs to be able to express her deepest feelings and it's hard for kids to know the vocabulary for that. Her own therapist can help her do that. If I were you, I'd put the school work away, find a creative outlet for her and let her do that a LOT. Eventually, when the emotional things are better balanced, you can pull the books out and slowly get back into a routine. She does need boundaries and consequences, as all of us do, and after a season of healing you'll know better what those should be. I hope you will have peace and direction as you go forward to love your little girl. May you sense God's presence as He promises us that "He gently leads those who are with young" Isaiah 40:11

Your mother is showing you great disrespect by not sympathizing and acknowledging your situation. She is focused only on pleasing herself. We have a flaming narcissist in our extended family (sil) so excuse me if I'm somewhat jaded. You are pregnant, not feeling well and deserve to have whatever you need around YOU to ease your condition. Your mother SHOULD offer to come help, not beg to take your daughter away and be sympathetic. Do NOT feel guilty about not letting your dd go. Have you read the Boundaries books? It might be helpful. Please try not to feel badly. And yes, you are honoring her by not tellling her what she needs to hear- to grow up and be a mother!

I second the motion on Classical Music for Dummies. We're all musicians at our house and listen to classical music nearly every day. The commentary is hilarious in this book- the authors are died in the wool classic-guys and have a great bent on the composers! It gives a basic timeline of the music eras, describes style, defines vocabulary and includes a CD with minute by minute dissection of the pieces- if you want it. (It's very useful for teaching kids what to listen for- ie: at CC) I keep it out on the coffee table in our living room so we can refer to it quickly. You will find all types of music in this genre- music that will life your spirits, empathize, soothe, jar you and fill you with hope and passion. It can also satisfy the intellect since it's written following patterns , most of the time. Some guys learned the ''rules" and then just broke them. Keeps one guessing! I hope you will enjoy learning about it all.

She left more for the rest of you..... Sorry you've got to deal with this....BTDT

We have four sons- the first one is a twin who was pretty tiny at birth and it wasn't done in the typical 2-3 period by my gyn because of his weight and instability. We wanted it done and had to fuss with the insurance company a bit so it wasn't done until he was nearly 2 years old. It was out-patient and under anesthesia....not the best of circumstances but safe. He needed some vaseline and gauze applied for a few days and was fine. Our last three boys were circ-ed on day #2. I watched each one, it was very quick and yes, they did cry a little. My ob thinks it was mainly because they are strapped down in a body-formed tray and rather exposed. Some of the nurses watched to make sure I wouldn't faint (good grief) but my doc and I had discussed it enough and she was just fine with it. As soon as it was over, we bundled them up and I nursed them right there in the procedure room. They fell asleep as soon as their tummies were full. No biggie. These boys are now young men and have never expressed anything negative about being circ-ed. I know it can be controversial, but my dh and I read all the material we could and still made this decision. Hope that is helpful.