They released volume 1 dvd in March, and then instant video after that. i checked the release date for volume 2 dvd, and couldn't find it. but i can hardly wait! ann

beautiful, gentle times. my kids liked: little bear dvds many of the rabbit ears videos (eg. http://www.amazon.com/Follow-Drinking-Gourd-Underground-Collection/dp/B00943YATQ/ref=sr_1_sc_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1428420962&sr=8-2-spell&keywords=follow+the+drinkign+gourd+dvd) http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=rabbit%20ear%20videos free to be you and me dvd mr. rogers the magic school bus signing time at this age, they also loved anything david attenborough did. there is something about the combination of animals/plants and his voice that worked. and classic kids music cds like mr bach comes to call. there are also dvds about a day in the life of a child in india/japan/france etc etc. i tried really hard to find them, and couldn't. but they were wonderful. i also used to get the kids colouring books about the various countries and/or animals.... and placemats from each place with the wildlife. and before we left, i would have them fall asleep to the same cd... in the car, at home, etc, etc. then, i could play it wherever we were, and it would help them sleep. hth, ann

when i was a single mom, i developed a few support networks, each different. 1. other single parents. they were a wealth of knowledge and sympathy/empathy and help. 2. i took in two university students as boarders. for a lower rent, part of their responsibility was childcare when necessary. at one point, they had my kids for three weeks while i was hospitalized. this had the benefit of extra income AND backup. if this isn't an option, finding a university/college students as a babysitter means that they will have daytime babysitting capabilities, at least some of the time. and they will know others who can spell them off. i would have them for dinner sunday nights so that we all got to know one another. sometimes early childhood education programs keep a list of students willing to do childcare. this can be a great source, as there is outside accountability. 3. i had a university student who babysat one night a week, every week, while i took university courses to upgrade qualifications. this lasted for years. it provided a person the kids knew really well. again, during the hospital stay, this was invaluable. 4. a local retired woman who would stay with the kids during the day occasionally. again, this helps with illness. it all costs money, except that i swapped babysitting with other single parents, and the boarders paid me some amount of rent. life is like weaving; we do it one strand at a time. the work is in getting the warp threads all on the loom so that the finished product works the way you want it to. this takes time. sometimes, those threads break and need replacing. but you can only attach those one a time, too. you can do this. (but i am sorry you are having to!) ann

i will write more tomorrow, but for tonight i wanted to give you a hug. :grouphug: :grouphug: i pm'd you. let us know what we can do. ann

We spent a fabulous fortnight in Melbourne Beach area. The zoo in Melbourne was amazing; we fed the giraffes whenever we could. You can rent kayaks at the zoo, and paddle down the “river†by the exhibits. The town also has weekly market/fun evening events. We were right on the beach, and that was incredible. There is a place where manatees come to swim in the afternoon just down the coast, and we visited there daily. Sea turtles nest on the beach, and you can see them, too. Swimming was great. It was far enough from Disneyworld to be not over run by tourists, but close enough for a day trip. Ditto the Cape, which we did every day until the blessed rocket finally launched. If I were moving, that’s where I would go! I would even do beachside property, with the caveat that it will disappear at some point in the not so distant future… ie. Now is the time!

pick up location option for vacation days what is offered + ability to tweak (we belonged to one in ottawa where we got a share of produce. each week, we were emailed the list of available food and got to choose what we wanted. each item was worth so much; once our yearly share was gone, it was gone. i found it hard to order enough to use up our share. she would give extra things if she had ripe produce no one had chosen. she asked at the end of each growing season what we had liked best the previous year, and if there were anything she hadn't offered that we would like. i haven't found any CSA here in california that i like nearly as well, although we have tried two.) i would do it again in a heartbeat; dh, not so much. fwiw, ann eta: part of our goal is/was local food, so its worth checking where the food in the box comes from. one of ours was a coop of farmers, but some of the stuff came from 7 hours north of us, which didn't meet our goal of "local".

we are free range on our land (20 acres). however, thou shalt have a buddy or a dog with thee at all times. and thou shalt announce thy intentions prior to departing the home. in town, they may go shopping etc as long as they have a buddy. (we have teenage girls). we are much more relaxed in canada, europe, australia and new zealand than we are in the usa. fwiw, ann

many hugs for you. a good friend is invaluable. its also a super-hard thing to do in situations like this. encourage her to see a lawyer so that she knows what her options are.... when i was at the early stages of separation, i interviewed lawyers, and my requirement was that they not let me give everything away if it came to divorce. i also asked them to tell me if i was about to do something stupid. (ie. against the best outcome for my kids and myself). some of the things surprised me, and i would never have thought of some of them. moving is included in this. any change is likely to make whatever comes next more difficult. ie. seeing a lawyer doesn't mean she is getting divorced. it means she is being smart and caring for her kids. if she really does believe her dh is having an emotional/psychological event, maybe she can get herself to the place of acknowledging that she needs to take care of all of them and NOT rely on his judgement. (i must confess i'm doubting this is the case, but you never know. it may help her get to the place of needing to take the lead for the time being.) a crisis-councelor would be worth their weight in gold at this moment. fwiw, ann

the theology behind it is that we are all children of God, so that only first names are used. Its the same in a baptism. fwiw, ann

the oldest two are in their thirties. they remember, in no particular order.... winter picnic (in a snow fort, with fresh baked chocolate chip cookies) - the first thing they both mentioned baking with me music.... when we sang, what we sang.... (eg "singing in the rain" as we walked down a rainy street to church) performances (musical theater, dance) travel adventures me reading poetry to them before bed when they were little. hth, ann

how exciting! this may be easier than it seems. 1. we have lived in multiple countries for over a month each time. (spain, costa rica, australia - twice :). it is different than living somewhere for longer. each time, while dh worked, the kids and i were considered to be "on vacation".... so no school rules, no visas, etc, etc. we considered ourselves to be living there and to be doing school, etc. we did internet research ahead of time to make sure we were in compliance with the country's rules. 2. the area you are going to is beautiful. there are lots and lots of half day/full day field trips that are possible. most (but not all) people can speak enough english for you to manage. 3. for us, we chose to do a unit study on whatever country we were in. we did some work on language, but really focused on cultural immersion. 4. each time, dh and i plan one driving trip, often after his work time finishes. we also plan several weekend trips. and then after all the planning, we go with the flow. often, opportunities open up once we are in country and we try to go with those. 5. will you be affiliated with the american base there? if so, there will be people used to you doing what you are doing who are full of ideas. if not, i have often had good luck just calling and telling people what we are doing and asking for suggestions/affiliations, etc, etc. have a glorious time! ann

:grouphug: :grouphug: are you trying to do science every day or 3X a week or once a week or ???? outside the box, could you do science on saturdays/sundays while dad has some great toddler time? or with dad? (we do all experiments on the weekends, more because dh loves it than for any other good reason) if you split them, could you do science with dude while sunshine and sugarplum are with buttercup? and then do science with sunshine and sugarplum while dude is with buttercup? or could you switch it up and do read aloud at a meal time (i used to read at breakfast) - i like having the littles there to be read to, and others can cuddle them/feed them while i read if that's what it takes. for a while, i read with them in bed first thing in the morning. and bible study/verse memorization could happen with dude and then with sunshine and sugarplum while the other(s) had buttercup. i have also been known to do memory work outside, while some play and others come and sit by me. hth, ann

here is someone who has some good ideas: http://www.couponingtodisney.com/disneyland-advice-from-a-big-family-perspective/ hth, ann

over the years, we have built layers of rituals. so wherever we are, everyone gets pjs christmas eve. wherever we are, we make waffles on sunday mornings. wherever we are, i sing the littles to sleep. (i don't have any littles left, but that was the ritual :(. wherever we are, there are seasonal placemats on the table, and seasonal wreaths on the door or wall. i define home as wherever dh is. after 8 moves, if i hadn't, i would be a basket case! ie. "home" is the people, not the place. it takes me the better part of a year for the subconsious "we are home" to kick in as we drive towards wherever we are living. wherever we are, we do the shopping at the same place and go to the same cashier each day. (after a while, we sometimes revert to the american standard of weekly shopping). this gives us a sense of belonging, and a sense of ritual in the new place. wherever we are, we find a church and go. it may not be where we end up, but it gets us started. wherever we are, we walk outside every day, at the same time of day, so we get to recognize people, places and patterns. wherever we are, we get a piano so i can play. (and now so that the kids can play, too). and wherever we are, my mom sends us foods we miss. we have an mp3 player loaded with favourite songs. we play them a lot. and we have another filled with car talk - the sense of familiarity is priceless! fwiw, ann

:grouphug: :grouphug: i'm sorry. you've had good advice. does it feel like he's uneasy with emotions or more like he is bullying? what you do next may well depend on which it feels like to you. i would journal. (what happened, how i felt, why i think it happened/why i felt the way i did, what i need and what i am going to do next). i would keep journalling until i felt i knew my own heart about it. then, i would talk to him using "I" statements rather than "you" statements. naomi drew's "peaceful parents, peaceful kids" gives a step by step approach to healing communication within families. one of the things she focuses on is not using putdowns. another is reflective listening. it may be that your dh needs something clear and straightforward to replace the current behavior. he might try stating the child's feelings rather than laughing. eg. you look really disappointed. is it because it didn't snow? it would have been fun to play in the snow, wouldn't it? i can see why you are disappointed. perhaps he might agree to try reflective listening instead of laughing for a day/week/month and see how that works for him and for the rest ofyou. good luck! ann

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: let's hope that's it for a while...... because that is a whole lot! ann

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: its hard. fwiw, when we were military, i tried really, really hard to not ask "do i like it here?" and "am i adjusting?"... its a bit like asking "do you like your sil/dil/etc?" because they are who your child picked - there really isn't a choice. (and it is very different for the working parent. they drop into a ready made position and group and social life. ) i coped by focusing on the upcoming holiday. eg. i wonder what they do around here for valentine's day/st. patrick's day/easter, etc. and i would try to plan to do some of those things. i made lists of new experiences/new places/new flavours etc, etc., and then systematically tried those. and i focused on our home life.... reading in bed with kids before lights out, reading in bed with kids before coffee, decorating, baking, singing/playing and instrument together...... its a journey..... good luck! :grouphug: :grouphug: ann

we moved every year for years. (due to a series of super-rapid military postings). different countries, different towns..... we gave each kid a disposable camera and had them carry it around for a week. just love her up.... a lot.... and while we did keep kids rooms tidy, after they decluttered stuff they didn't want to pack, inventory and unpack, they got to keep things the way they were. fwiw, ann

Kneeling in Jerusalem, by Ann Weems From Advent's Alleluia to Easter's Morning Light: Poetry for Worship, Study, and Devotion, by Ann Weems Lent and Easter Wisdom from Henri J. M. Nouwen: Daily Scripture and Prayers Together with Nouwen's Own Words (...Jan 3, 2005 by Judy Bauer hth, ann

:bigear:

we are looking at AP Spanish after year 3 with senor gamache. fwiw, ann

things that work for me: a) psyllium husk (two pills at 4pm each day with water) b) probiotics VSL #3. (university of alberta did a study and that was the one that was most effective). c) balanced days, not balanced meals. i can eat protein. i can eat veggies. i can't eat raw veggies and protein together. ever. d) no kernel corn. ever. e) lots of exercise. lots. f) i can't do chia seeds, so i just don't. i can put ground flax into baked goods with impunity. g) food with a lot of fat just don't work out so well for me. h) and for me, it depends on how i am doing. during times of remission, i can eat salads with joy. (and with yoghurt dressing.... or very, very small amounts of an oil based dressing). during times of flares, no fresh veggies, no fresh fruit, greatly limited amounts of any fat, no nuts, etc, etc. it will be a journey of discovery. hth, ann ps. re eggs, etc.... i can't have eggs cooked with oil. i can have boiled eggs, poached eggs, etc, etc. for breakfast burritos, i cook the egg in the microwave. ie. no oil. eta: oatmeal for breakfast each morning during flares helps me a ton. ymmv.... good luck!

oh, and sherlock!

oh, and i just remembered. the one thing we started in daily life that transformed family and relationships was that each day, each of us would spend 15 minutes one on one with a child. the child got to choose the activity. sometimes it was chess, sometimes it was reading, sometimes they would choose cooking or hiking or playing ball or knitting or ???? but just that 15 minutes one on one really helped dh reconnect with the kids, and did wonders for their sense of security. it is just about the best thing we have done. (and it took dh days and days to manage to let the child decide and to fully go with the suggestion, but he got there, and we haven't looked back!). now that they are teens, these have become events that last for an hour or a half day once or twice a week..... but the daily things have become more mutual and spontaneous. we also followed an idea i got from a mormon friend. (we aren't, but some of the family stuff is fabulous). so we started a movie night, a games night, etc, etc. it really helped. fwiw, ann

you've had good advice. this is structured to not work the way you had hoped. here are some of the things i do. a) go for moments or hours, not days. eg. order breakfast in bed for the whole family. or take the whole family for an early morning swim. b) ask each person to put on a piece of paper three things they'd like to do with the time that is left. stipulate one thing with friends, one thing with family and one thing with siblings/spouse. then commit to making sure that each person gets at least one thing on their list before you leave. it was amazing to me how just getting one thing each transformed our vacations and our attitudes towards one another. c) buy really good books/movies etc. also chocolate, or whatever else you enjoy. fwiw, in my experience, when they have been away from family so much there is almost no way they can manage 24/7 with us. they haven't the skills or the expectations. so moments or events help the reintegration better than days or weeks. i also cope with it by deciding it is my vacation, and i plan it. i ask him when he'll be around, and then i plan the other times. when he is going to be around, i ask questions like, "so would you like a quiet family time or a sight seeing time?" and then make suggestions. once he gets going, my dh is good at making suggestions, one idea is to recruit the family who moved to the room next to you, and ask them to watch the kids so your dh and you can have breakfast together or dinner together or dessert together or ??? fwiw, ann ps. and in the long term..... good luck. we have worked like this in our daily lives, too. i will bring breakfast to bed, etc, etc.