Things I would pay money for: Boobs (well, not money, but necessary) or formula/bottles Diapers Clothing (mostly footed onesies and bedtime gowns) Swaddling blankets Lovie Carrier Stroller Car Seat Rock and Play Things I loved for a short time so would only borrow: Swing Bouncer (the kind they 'stand' in with the toys around them) Highchair Cute clothes. I borrowed from friends for photos/holidays. Pack n Play. Used rarely, mostly for travel, would never pay money for. Crib. We used from 6-14 months, not worth the cost of buying, and always had one available to borrow. If I didn't, I just use a pack n play until I could put the kid on a floor mattress.

I believe I am a very grateful person. It is something that I have worked hard at,and has improved my life. I come from a secular viewpoint, so I can't speak about gratefulness to God. Nor am I generally grateful that I have lots of good stuff in life. I am happy that I live a life of relative luxury, but grateful seems the wrong word. I am grateful to people. When someone is kind, I am grateful. The outcome of that kindness is largely irrelevant for me, it's their intention that I am grateful for. Gifts that I don't particularly like, especially if given with thought, inspire gratefulness. People being polite when they could just walk on by. People holding doors, picking up something I dropped, checking up on me when I've had a bad day, or saying something nice about me and the kids. I will never forget the kind grandma would told me I was doing a great job when I took my kids out to store and they were acting up. She didn't have to spare those kinds words for me, but she did, and I was grateful. There is so much kindness around, it's easy to be grateful once you start looking for it. As for perfection, my grandma told me something that has shaped my life ever since: don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Just because something could be better doesn't mean it isn't good, beautiful, or worthwhile.

I highly recommend hoffmanacademy.com It has videos for each lesson that are very accessible for young kids, but still teach great concepts and techniques. DS started at 4 and has been progressing really well doing approximately a lesson a week.

DS figured it out pretty much as soon as we started anything that looked like academics, so a little before he turned 5. His math games are labeled by grade, some of this science books have grades on them, many chapter books have recommended grade levels, etc. It's been a problem for us. He has a huge ego. He is an "expert" at everything. He's also 5, so it's totally age appropriate to brag and have a big ego, but it is something we are working on. Our biggest problems have been when other kids ask him what grade he is in. I keep telling him to say kindergarten, but he refuses as says anything between 1-4th. Which makes the other kids upset, which makes him upset, and just all around isn't a good thing. But he's stubborn. *sigh*

We just finished up RSO Chemistry (I think it's grades 3-6?) with DS5. It was a big hit. Some things are simplified, but if you know the info it is easy to go a little deeper. DS loved that every lesson was had an experiment/demonstration. There is very little writing, which is a plus. RSO gave us a really nice backbone of study to add other elements into. We also used The Happy Scientist videos, molymods, Brain Pop videos, the Elements/The Elements in Action ipad app, Basher's Complete Periodic Table Book (comes with poster, best periodic table poster we've found), and some of Ellen McHenry's free Chemistry resources. Ellen McHenry's The Elements seemed a bit out of reach of our 5yo, so I haven't looked too deep at the actual curriculum, but her free stuff is great.

ICE was amazing! I didn't pay for it though, it was a gift. It's a good bit of money, but if you can do it, I think it's worth it. The trains at Botanic Gardens are a big hit. National Christmas Tree is also really nice - with the smaller trees and the trains. We like to swing by the skating rink while visiting and watch the ice skaters as well. Zoolights is fun, but not the best lights show in the world. One year they had a really neat lego exhibit inside the visitors center during Zoolights, I don't know if they do that every year? I think there was a gingerbread exhibit one year as well.

I assume it always takes 15 minutes from when I say "we're leaving" to turning on the car and driving away. That's time for shoes, bathroom, kid stalling, emergency diaper, etc. I add 5 minutes for traffic on top of google maps estimated time. And I plan on arriving 5 minutes early. Sometimes, that means I'm 10-15 minutes early, which is no big deal. That's time to talk in the car, read something quick, check emails, etc. Time to breathe while all kids are strapped into car seats and can't destroy everything in sight. I also do most of my chores at night or nap time. It just never goes smoothly when trying to rush through a chore so you can get somewhere on time.

I woke up to DS2 saying 'mama, whee, mama, whee'. He rarely speaks, so I was excited to hear him use words, till I opened the door. He undressed himself from his sleeper sack (on backwards so he can't reach the zipper) and somehow scaled his dresser (how, I don't know, we took off the handles so he couldn't climb it). Standing on top of his dresser he was removing the dirty cloth diapers from the diaper bin and throwing them about his room, yelling 'mama, whee' each time. At least I got a 'look' and 'oops' when I came in. Not what I needed after only 3 hours of sleep.

Mine was pretty good today. We mostly just fought over the doors and windows. I wanted them open, to get some fresh air inside. He kept closing them. Over, and over, and over, and over. Sigh. I also have to take him with me to the bathroom, he cannot be trusted for 20 seconds. Today while I was using the restroom he pulled himself up into the sink and turned the water on. Soaking himself and splashing me. That counts as bath, right?

12-15 a week. However, we use cloth diapers so that's 3-4 a week. Household towels are another load. Sheets and blankets are 4 loads. So that's 8-9 loads a week before even looking at clothes. I have a toddler who goes through 3 outfits most days, and my 5yo refuses to rewear clothes and often goes through 2 outfits a day plus jammies. DH changes as soon as he gets home so he also wears 2 outfits a day. Sigh. I hate laundry.

Dad sounds like he's being a jerk. And Asperger's is no excuse, especially not after you explained her feelings. He doesn't have to understand them to respect them. If she was throwing tantrums demanding that no one in the family ever eat daily/gluten/nuts/etc that would be one thing. But she's not. She's a child asking her dad not to rub it in her face that she can't have a favorite cookie. Child is sad. Dad can fix it with little to no effort or consequence. Why wouldn't he?

30 year mortgage. We could never have afforded a 15 year when we bought. Our mortgage payment(including taxes and insurance) was slightly over 50% of our net income when we first bought the house - so it was a huge stretch even for the 30 year mortgage. However, we wanted to buy a house we knew we wouldn't have to move out of as our family grew. We are also in a very HCOL area, and our house is still small. Small enough that we can't have more than 1-2 friends over - no hosting playdates or coops here. It has worked out well for us. We invested another 80k into the house, and it's value has increased ~125k. The mortgage is now down to <30% of our net income, so not so painful anymore. The only people I know with a 15 year mortgage in this area are DINKs who bought a small house and are planning on upgrading later in life.

The idea that a mom needs to learn to cook for her kids made me laugh and cry a little. I love to cook. I cook for myself and friends all the time. Occasionally DH will eat it. DS1 pretty much never eats my cooked food. DS2 will occasionally eat it, but mostly rubs it around on the table and in his hair. The kids survive on raw fruits/veggies, cheese, bread, and peanut butter. If I'm lucky they will eat a scrambled egg (does that count as cooking?). So yeah, I definitely don't cook for the kids. If you do want to encourage her to learn anyway, invite her to come cook with you. I learned the most when cooking side by side with a friend or relative. Plus apples pies just aren't the same if grandma doesn't help.

We got one for DS when he turned five. I hate it. Freetime is a mess - the timers don't work properly, it gives access to "educational" apps, there is no way to sort books or recommend books and there are a huge flood of junk books for little kids. If you go without free time, it is slightly better, but still horribly buggy. Sometimes books preload, sometimes they don't. Apps and books crash constantly. The memory is really low, so you have to constantly manage moving books. I really hate it. We are now looking for a used iPad mini. It's a bit more expensive, but at least it works. I'll load up the kindle app on it, and use the iPad controls to lock DS into the app if I just want him reading.

I'm not vegan or vegetarian, but I do feed a lot of them. I also try to only eat meat 1-2x a week (excluding eggs) so make a lot of veggie meals. Vegan meals are really easy if you are cooking from scratch. No one is going to hide dairy inside your broccoli or beans. Though do be careful with sauces, I know Worcestershire isn't vegan, and I think a certain hot sauce isn't, but I don't remember. Vegan meals are normally much, much less expensive here because we aren't paying for cheese/meat. I never do vegan substitutes, just cook fresh veggies with beans, rice, pasta, or tortillas. Lettuce wraps are a really quick and inexpensive option. Vegetarian meals are a lot easier to transition to. Mostly because of cheese, but also because there is less worry of offending things being snuck into sauces and spices. To make a meal vegetarian, I usually just leave out the meat, if needed replacing it with beans. The biggest danger with health is that it is really easy to eat too much bread as a vegetarian. Or junk food. That's also true of omnivores, however, so as long as you are aware of trying to eat healthy shouldn't be a problem. Sorry I can't help with nutrient deficiencies since we do have meat occasionally here.

If I understand it correctly it's not living together or gay sex that is the problem. It's gay marriage. One is a sin (in the eyes of the church, not mine), one is a willful rejection of the church's beliefs.

Bob Books were worth every penny for us. We used them, along with I See Sam on the kindle, and 100EZ lessons to get my kid reading fluently. LOVE them. There was a big bump in difficultly (I think before set 4?) at one point, so we had to set them aside for a few weeks. We never used flash cards for words so no advice there.

Someone of the responses (in this thread and elsewhere) are infuriating. I'm trying not to get angry about it (I still care greatly about the LDS community and love many Mormon relatives/friends). Ex-Mormon and LGBTIQ advocate here, so, biased, but I'm trying to see the logic here. Did people forget what it's like to be a Mormon kid? It's not easy when your family isn't perfect. When you can't enter the temple but all your friends are, you feel shunned. When everyone else in the Church is baptized, but you can't be, you feel shunned. The Mormon culture, especially teenagers, has a problem being judgmental about being a 'perfect' Mormon. What the church Elder's need to be doing is showing their kids how to be loving towards others, not giving them more reasons to shun them. This seriously makes me so sad. The logic that the church is trying to protect the integrity of gay families is just baffling. If you want to respect their family, then only baptize their kids if they have parental permission. Why require the kid to disavow the parents? Why require them to be 18? Why require that they cannot live with their parents? And what about the parents of gay kids? Can they not be baptized, or get a temple recommend, if their kid lives with them? If they attend their kids marriage? If they love their kid, no matter the choices said kid makes? Blah. There is nothing, nothing, loving about this. I sure am glad my parents' place in the church wasn't jeopardized when I failed at being a good Mormon girl.

I grew up in the Mormon church and left on not great terms, so I'm a bit biased, but this doesn't surprise me. The Mormon Church is very family focused. This can be good, but also very damaging to individuals. It is common to shun or punish the family members of someone who doesn't follow the rules of the church. I was often told I'd be eternally punished because I couldn't be sealed to my family. Through no fault of my own. Family focused can be a two-sided coin.

I have no idea what to consider my town. I live outside DC. I'm not in a city. The closest city is listed at 143,000. My county is 1.13 million. The greater DC area (which I would initially consider my community, I travel in and out of DC regularly, DH works in DC its a 20 minute commute) is 6 million. Under 25,000 just seems unimaginably tiny.

Both my boys are way to little to self-regulate so I regulate candy, a few pieces a day. The few days after Halloween that can be 8-10 pieces throughout the day, but slows down after that. The idea of having extra candy to throw away is insane in this house. We ALL love candy, there is never left over stuff months later. It took me years to learn not to eat too much, and I often made myself sick after Halloween as a kid. I think it would be silly to expect my kids to be any different - especially as my almost two year old ate a whole bag of Oreo's that older DS brought to him at nap time (we thought he was asleep, DS1 thought he needed a treat).

I'm not really interested in debating whether one can have morals without applying to a higher authority, but it really bothers me to see the position of secular humanists (and others with similar beliefs) so thoroughly misrepresented. People don't have to agree or even understand, but don't say that we don't believe what we say we believe. I'll try again to express what that position is below. Just because something is a construct of our brains and intellect doesn't mean it isn't real. We (as a species) are able to decide what to value, what we consider morally right and good. History is pretty darn clear on the fact that as a species, our values have changed over time and location. It's important to remember that we are social animals, and as such, societies (moving closer to a singular global society) make choices on what is or is not good. Not believing in a capital G Good (something that exists outside of humans, inherent in the universe) doesn't mean we can't choose to value certain ethical and moral choices. Humans are amazing creatures, we evolved to a point where we can create ideas such as good and evil, beauty, art, truth, love. The fact that we created these ideas doesn't make them valueless or fake, it makes them beautiful and meaningful. Regardless of whether you find this position to have merit - it isn't authentic to say people can't hold it. Many, many people are okay without a concept capital G Good. It doesn't mean they don't have a sense of ethics. It doesn't mean they value all moral systems equally. If you find these things difficult that is fine, but don't misrepresent others beliefs because you don't understand them.

I don't want to speak for others, but I believe this is a misrepresentation of the idea that our morals are a product of biology. Biology doesn't tell us what is good - as if there was a Good out there that biology clued us in on. Biology, via evolution, created a brain that was able to create complex ideals such as good and evil. Those brains formed in social beings, so the ideals are shared among cultures. But different cultures, and different people with different brains, can certainly find different rules for morality. All the people I know who don't look to a higher power to help them determine what is right or moral understand that our brains have created the concept of good and moral. It isn't as though evolution was all "Hey, lets let the humans start to see the big good/evil chart" but rather as a byproduct of evolution we have brains that can formulate these ideas. Evolution is an explanation as to how we can create morals, it is not the rule book. It is even entirely possible that the morals we humans have created may be counterproductive to our evolutionary success. At least that is how this secular humanist understands things. I don't see why there can't be different moral truths, as the whole is full of people with different brains and cultures with different values and traditions. (I am not implying that I value all traditions equally, just that obviously the world does include many varieties.)

We are just starting out, but DH only does things I ask him to do, and is otherwise uninvolved. He's a naval architect so anything related to his expertise I ask him to do. Making model ships, learning about buoyancy, experiments in air resistance or drag, circular motion relating to propellers etc. So he usually does a science experiment or history project 1–2x a month. He also took a few university classes in heiroglyphs, so all of the ancient language translations/projects are sent his way. These are normally just fun things for him to do with DS on the weekend. In terms of curriculum shopping, book reading, or skill building work, he stays out of it.

If you can meet her educational desires/needs afterschool, I'd focus on a play-based environment. When DS was 4/5 he needed a lot of free play time with other kids. Do you have either a daycare or preK option that doesn't focus on academics? Otherwise, Pre-K at an immersion school could be fun, and worthwhile if you have the ability to follow up with the language in later years.