You could try a drawstring backpack, like this: http://www.amazon.com/Nike-Brasilia-Gymsack-Black/dp/B00DSQV1N8/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1389045369&sr=8-3&keywords=Nike+Brasilia+Gymsack My teenage son has one similar to it and likes it.

We like FamZoo. It works great for us.

Good luck! Hopefully she'll realize that she changed things a bit too much and will be open to compromise. My kids wouldn't eat from that menu either, so it would be no fun to get together for dinner unless I brought our own food. If she isn't open to compromise you could just get together for a few hours to play games or just hang out.

My parents visited for Thanksgiving, and that's similar to what they ate. We prepared separate food, but we all ate together. It really wasn't a big deal. Since I hate cooking and I was on my own to prepare traditional Thanksgiving food, I kept it pretty simple.

It does take some time to set up and maintain, but any system is going to take a certain amount of time and energy. Once it's set up the kids can check off the tasks they completed and you can review it. If you can't pay them enough to motivate them you can also add in a penalty for not doing their assigned chores. You can explain that it needs to be that way because you simply cannot do everything yourself and will need to hire someone if they refuse to do their part to take care of their messes. It may sound harsh, but if I were in a situation where everyone needed to contribute or basic household chores couldn't get done and/or they made a lot of extra messes around the house, then I would consider using that feature. I understand being too exhausted to set up a system. If this is going to be your new normal it would help in the long run if you could get everyone on board as a team, but now may or may not be the time to make it happen. Like I said, my husband set it up and runs it. I told him I couldn't deal with trying a whole new system, so I really do get it. I've just seen such good results, so I thought I'd mention it.

My husband recently set up famzoo for our kids. It's been a huge success. I never thought my teenage son would actually request to have a weekly bathroom assignment, but that's exactly what happened! Before this he had never cleaned a bathroom and had no intention of ever doing so. My 7 and 10 year olds are also doing more weekly chores because of famzoo. http://famzoo.com/

When my husband is involved in an activity that makes him unavailable and leaves me in charge of our kids, then I am the one who decides what activities the kids can and cannot do.

I would create a routine that stayed the same every week. I would start with something that engaged even the youngest kids. For instance, you could start by reading a book, singing a song, and playing a game that preferably allowed the kids to move around a bit. This could last for about 15 minutes. Then you could provide an activity, such as coloring, play dough, blocks, or a simple craft. I would engage the oldest child as my helper during this time, so she doesn't feel babied and instead is given the opportunity to be a leader. I would aim for about 20 minutes. I would transition out of this time with a set song as a cue that it's time to move on. You could maybe have a kind of "circle time" where the kids sit in a circle, and you share a brief lesson. The lesson can tie in with the story/song/game from the beginning. I would give the kids assignments, so they are actively involved. You can incorporate movement activities, songs, stories, puppets, acting, pictures, movies, etc. into the lesson time. Finish the same way every week, such as sing a closing song, say a scripture, and have a prayer. Keeping the same routine and establishing good transitions will really help things run smoothly because the kids will come to know what to expect. Good luck!

You sound like me several years ago when my kids were little. The stage of life you are in is so exhausting. If I could go back I would get more help and set more boundaries. You need to take care of yourself! If the calling is too much, ask to be released. Since you will be moving soon, you can just say that starting in January (or December!) you will no longer be able to do your calling because you need to focus your family. (Give an end date if you ask to be released or it may drag on.) I had the same positive attitude as you about church commitments, until I realized (the hard way--by then I was drowning) that sometimes we must say no and set boundaries for our own health and stability. God wants you to take care of yourself!! If you don't take care of your needs, eventually you may find yourself in a place where you feel like you have nothing left to offer because you're completely spent and burned out. Please don't let it get that bad. Only you can say how much is too much. This applies to your husband's church responsibilities as well. I needed my husband home as much as possible when our kids were small. We needed date night weekly, and I needed a mother's helper. I was hesitant to spend the money on help, but I needed a bit of a break physically and mentally in order to stay healthy. If your needs are constantly pushed aside, then please find ways to get some extra help. If you really don't have the money, then ask church leaders to match you with people who would like to do service. We didn't pay our mother's helper a huge amount, but she was invaluable! Also, get as much help as you can for the move. When we moved we paid teens to help with various projects and cleaning. Please take care of yourself. Take some good vitamins. Treat yourself like you treat your children. You meet their needs and some wants. Do the same for yourself. Sending ((HUGS)) because I understand what it's like.

I had a hard time letting go of the baby stage. I finally realized that just because I loved babies, it didn't mean that it was a good idea to have more kids than I could handle. I would consider your overall goals and priorities (short and long term) for your family and then consider if you are willing or able to fit a new child into that picture. If you still want a baby and it doesn't seem practical, you might still be able to make it work if you can add in resources (such as hiring help or sending kids to school). I'm giving this advice because I really struggled when my 4th was born. I love her to pieces! I just wish I had been more self-aware of my own limitations and had set up extra help from the beginning because I really needed it. Even after all this, I still struggled emotionally with letting go of the baby stage. I think I just have a strong biological and emotional drive to have children! It's just part of who I am, and that's okay.

I have a son who has Down Syndrome. The best thing our church did for us was to provide helpers for him, so he could be included in regular activities. He is 11 now and only needs a helper during scouting and no longer needs help during regular Sunday activities. We are firm believers in inclusion. In order for inclusion to work, though, he needed assistance. His helper would help him understand what was happening, take him to the restroom, help him participate, and help him interact with the other children. It was a welcome break to have someone else help him, and it allowed my husband and I to serve in other areas. It was also a huge blessing to those who served him. There were times when my husband had church responsibilities that took him away from our own church meetings. This meant I had to take my kids to church alone (we have one older and two younger than our son who has DS, and they are all close in age). Just getting in and out of the church building was difficult, so a family helped me after church to gather my children and get them in the car. Also, I will never forget the Christmas activity when someone helped with my kids, so we could actually enjoy the activity. Honestly, I still don't like going to church activities because, even though my kids are older now and easier to manage, it triggers the stress of taking them to activities and trying to keep them all safe. Recently at a church activity a child with special need ran off and was lost for a few minutes. Everyone searched for him, and fortunately he was found close by. Having a helper during the activity would have made such a difference for this family. Also, my son is treated like any other kid. He is seen as a person, not his disability. He is given the same opportunities as everyone else. I do wish we would have had people advocate for us, but no one really knew what to do or what was needed. We have had to advocate for our son every step of the way. I would love if the church had a committee that looked out for families like mine. The stress of having a child with special needs is significant and can really take a toll on a family. Anything you can do to give such a family a break, even if it seems small to you, really can mean a lot.

Eddie Bauer

This week is fall break at our house. I think I needed it more than my kids did. It's exhausting to always be the person who makes sure everyone is doing what they're suppose to be doing.

We keep paper in plastic file boxes and markers, scissors, etc. in drawers. Craft supplies are kept in a kitchen cupboard, a dresser, and a hutch (similar to this: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B001KW0BPQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?qid=1382059387&sr=8-3&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70). Seasonal crafts are boxed up by season and only come out when they're in season. I'm like you. I don't mind the mess that comes with creative children, but there is a limit to the madness. :) I especially like having the dresser for loose items, such as popsicle sticks, scraps of paper, oversized paper, beads, pipe cleaners, pom-poms, etc.

My son has Down Syndrome. I just want him to be treated like a regular person because to us that's what he is. I don't want him to be ignored, but like others indicated, I also don't want him to be treated like a service project. The key in your interactions is to see the person and not the disability.

I highly recommend reading this website: http://disabilityisnatural.com/. She discusses things like People First Language. I would say to never ask about a disability just because you are curious. Once you have a relationship with a person who has a disability, you can ask them if it's okay to ask some questions.

If you want to get an idea of the going rates in your area for tutoring check wyzant.com or google your city and tutoring. The rates vary based on experience and background. Check after school programs in your area for the going rates for child care.

Helping someone out is one thing, but doing all that for $30 a week is taking advantage of you and your time. If she can't afford to pay you any kind of reasonable fee, then she needs to look at public school. I would give 2 weeks notice that the agreement simply isn't working out. If you still want to do it, then work out a new written agreement that you would be happy with. I would show the cost of food in the agreement as a separate charge. Do not compromise once you've done this. Give her the new agreement with a big smile, telling her how much you have enjoyed working with her daughter. Let her take it home and look it over. If she can't agree to it, then she will find a new situation. If this is a priority to her and her almost ex, then they will make it happen. Don't act like you're doing something terrible because you aren't. Just be very matter of fact. I can't imagine expecting anyone to do all that for my child for $30 a week, no matter my life situation. If you're worried about the girl, you can offer to do before or after school care for a set hourly rate that includes the cost of food. If you agree to help with homework instead of just having her hang out, then you should charge more. Good luck! Setting new boundaries can be difficult. The key is to not make excuses. Just explain your new terms, your end date if she can't meet them, and then let it go. Or if you want completely out of the situation, tell her it simply isn't working out for your family and give an end date. Don't let it get emotional and don't get drawn into her life drama or it may get very messy!

I recently found an excellent math tutor through this website: http://www.wyzant.com/Home.aspx

It didn't work for us. It was just confusing. We prefer chants/music. I like the CD Multiplication Mountain. I bought agility rings, and my kid would shout the answer and jump to a ring each time a problem came up. We also did this without music to practice skip counting. I've also used tossing bean bags back and forth while skip counting. Also, TimesTables (it has a pic of a tiger) and Math Fact (it's blue and has 2+2 on the picture) are good apps for drill. We also like Marble Math and Mathris (the one with a pic of billiard balls).

Nutrition can be complicated and confusing. I try to keep it really simple. I teach my kids to balance their protein, grains, fruits, and veggies. In general, snacks in our house are fruit, veggies, or items with protein (cheese, peanut butter, nuts, etc.). Sometimes those are paired with a grain product, like crackers, pretzels, popcorn, or bagels. Meals are also balanced with protein, grains, fruits, and veggies. Breaking it down like this makes is really simple for my kids. I also teach them to avoid hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, nitrites, and food items with lots of mystery ingredients/chemicals. We aren't always perfect, but these general guidelines are a natural part of our conversation when we eat and when we go shopping. Also, fat is not bad! I think it's really important to differentiate between healthy fats and fats from unhealthy sources. Healthy fats (olive oil, nuts, avocado, etc.) are very important and don't make you fat. In fact, I have found that fats help me to feel satisfied and full and help me not to overeat. Fat from hydrogenated oil and calories from high fructose corn syrup can not only lead to weight gain, but they are very unhealthy. I like the advice above about eating in moderation and eating plants. I also agree that what you model on a daily basis sends a powerful message. I think it's great that you want to teach your daughter about healthy eating. I think it can be done in a way that comes across as teaching instead of shaming, and it sounds like you're on the right track by looking for a resource that teaches about nutrition. I wish I had known more about nutrition before I left home and had to make my own food choices. I ate healthy growing up, but I didn't know enough about nutrition to understand how to maintain a healthy weight and a healthy body on my own. I learned through a lot of trial and error. I like to be thin because I'm just more comfortable that way, but I always emphasize to my kids that their focus should not be on being skinny. The focus should be on making choices that make them comfortable, healthy, and strong. Being a healthy weight is just a side effect of taking care of your body.

When I was pregnant with my last baby, I could not tolerate dairy. I had a horrible reaction (itchy to the extreme) whenever I ate dairy. I was relieved when I finally figured out what was going on and got the dairy out of my system. All my food allergy symptoms went away once I cleared out the dairy. When she was born she could not tolerate dairy in my breast milk, and she couldn't eat dairy for a long time. She's 7 now and can eat dairy, but if she eats too much her behavior declines.

It is possible to create your own if you have the time and inclination to pull together resources. I divided this school year up into monthly topics for history, geography, and science. For history we're covering the civil war through modern, so I picked main topics to study each month. For science I ordered a new Great Course "The World's Greatest Geological Wonders," and I'm picking our monthly topics from it. For geography I assigned each month or two a continent. Once I had my topics I started creating book lists for each topic. I use amazon and my library to find books that will work for my girls (ages 7 and 9). We cycle through history, geography, and science throughout the month. Sometimes we do a bit of a block schedule, so one week we may only do science and another only geography. Sometimes there is overlap. They use a cheap sketch book for science & geography to record information they have learned, to make relevant illustrations, to write about relevant field trips, and to record projects. They use a Sonlight Timeline book to record what they are learning in history. They are also writing about the different monthly topics. Depending on their interest some topics may be extended or shortened. I build a general framework and then feel it out as we go. We also have science experiment kits that we'll pull out along the way. It does take time, but I love that I can select books and resources that I know will draw my girls' interest. And as I research I learn a lot and become excited about the topics. By the end of the year they will have created some beautiful books that they can look at again and again and while doing so they will be reviewing. Plus, this makes it easy to add any good resource to our curriculum since they can learn from anything and then record it in their books. You could easily use this method to create as science-centric of a curriculum as you want. Also for art they're practicing from books that teach drawing, and then they are using their improved drawing skills to illustrate their record books. Another idea is to select art topics or artists that you want to cover each month, select resources, and have them make a record book and write papers about what they have learned. You could cover many basic skills, such as writing, researching, and recording, while focusing on art, or any intriguing topic for that matter.

She might like the Vet Volunteer series. To find books I use http://www.arbookfind.com/. If you click on advanced search you can search by reading level.

Rose, I check in on you every day on this thread. I hope and pray that this situation turns out to be a blessing in disguise. I just see so much potential for your son to learn, grow, and to see the world with more perspective. Whether that will happen sooner vs. later is unknown, but I see the potential. I had a time in my life when my world was turned upside down and inside out. It was the hardest and darkest time of my life, but now I look back on that time and am so grateful for it. To claw my way out of the darkness I had to do some deep soul-searching. I had to find who I was and find my inner strength. I had to let go of my fears and learn to embrace each moment just as it was even when the moments were imperfect in my mind. By embracing the imperfection I was finally able to release my frustrations and fears. Only then was I able to move forward and direct my energy towards creating a better reality. Does school start soon? I'm sure we're all interested to hear how school goes for him. You're an amazing woman, Rose. Your strength comes through in your posts. I had a friend who once told me she thought she had become a worse person since having kids. Being a parent can be so difficult we have to find new strength to make it through and to still have our own identity as a good person. What you have done for your son and what you are doing now has been and is difficult, messy, and stressful, and I have found that it's people who are willing to perservere through such times (as you have done all these years) that are able to understand what unconditional love is all about.