He sounds a lot like my oldest, who is now 13. I've had to make decisions a year at a time for him, based on what's best for him and our family as a whole. He homeschooled until mid-3rd grade. At that point he was too uncooperative and I was burned out and not handling things well, so I sent him to public school for a year. While the public school was good for him at first, it started to destroy all the things I had worked so hard to build up in him, like confidence, creative thinking, problem solving, etc. He started coming home angry and frustrated. I researched private schools and finally found one that was a good fit, but it was 30 minutes away. I hated the drive, but it was exactly what he needed, and I will be forever grateful for that school, and for the teacher that brought out the best in him. We then moved and he went to a charter school last year. He decided that he wanted to homeschool this year, and I agreed to bring him back home. It's going very well. I really think there were some things he just could not learn from me and from being at home. Now that he's had those experiences, and he's matured a lot as well, I feel comfortable bringing him home. I have made it very clear to him that if he causes problems with the other kids who are at home and makes home life miserable, then he's going back to school. So far those kinds of problems have been minimal. It's really hard (and stressfull!) when your kid doesn't seem to fit anywhere. If I hadn't found that private school, I have no idea what I would have done. Now I live in a district that has support and classes for homeschoolers, and the kids can even participate in the schools. If that's an option for you, you could look into what's available. Or maybe there are private schools that would fit, even if it's short-term. The private school my son attended was extremely expensive once you hit high school, and I made it clear from the beginning that we would decide a year at a time if he would be continuing or not, especially as it became more expensive. Also, some private schools may have after school programs your son could be involved in even if he's homeschooling. You also might be able to find an independent program that offers classes for homeschoolers. My son really needed the school experience, but without all the pressure and conformity. Hang in there and know you are not alone! Even though it's been a long road to get my son where he is today, I am so glad that I made it a priority to make sure he was in situations that were healthy and that built him up (both in confidence and academics) because the payoff has been huge. When he was younger, there were times when I would look at him and know that if I didn't change something, then his teen years would be dreadful. Now that he's a teen, I am so grateful for the investment I made in him when he was younger, and I'm grateful that I continued to believe in him because he really is a great person with so much to offer. Keep believing in your son, keep an open mind, and keep on the lookout for solutions, and hopefully you'll be able to find some answers.

I buy mine at iherb.com....If you're a first-time customer you can use my referral code LER677 to get $5 off your order. iherb's prices are very good, plus they give automatic discounts in your shopping cart based on how much you order.

If you like master planned communities look at Highlands Ranch, CO. Rec centers and programs, parks, walking/biking trails, close shopping, and very close to the Rockies. A lot of homes have mountains views.

I use either liquid fenugreek or thyme/fenugreek pills to dry up mucous. I also put collodial silver in a dropper bottle and put it in eyes, ears, and nose to clean them out. Putting it in the nose really helps when you have nasal drip. Like others said, keeping the bedroom free of allergens is crucial. Keep out dirty clothes, shoes, and take a bath before bed. Plus don't open the windows. I avoid meds as much as possible, but I have resorted to Allegra when it gets bad.

My 6-year-old sometimes gets to the point where she can longer function and breaks down by either saying really mean words or throwing fits. She has improved a lot over the years, but it really was awful for awhile. What helped the most was figuring out the triggers and then trying to avoid them. For her the triggers were dairy (she's grown out of this a lot and can have some dairy, but I still don't let her drink milk), sensory issues (for her this showed up when she wore uncomfortable clothing or had sensory overload, for instance, by running errands with me to too many different places), lack of sleep, and hunger. I also warn her siblings when I can tell she's on edge. When she's on edge she really can't even have a conversation without breaking down, so warning them to steer clear for awhile helps a lot. When she was a baby I wore her in a sling a lot because she needed the snugness of the sling and the closeness of my body to feel safe. Sometimes she would scream in the car unless I would hold her hand (not always easy to do but easier than driving with a screaming baby/child). As she's grown older, I found the best way to address the fits was to take her to her room, go in with her, and hold her. I would rock her or sing to her. She needed to feel safe. I tried leaving her alone in her room, and she couldn't handle it. She needed me to teach her how to calm down. She also needed to learn that when she can't handle a situation or handle just being around other people, she needed to remove herself until she could. Once she calmed down we would discuss what happened. It helped to think of what I needed when I was on the brink of exhaustion and couldn't function well. I didn't need punishment! I needed a time out and some loving. Over the years I've tried to model this behavior of removing myself from a situation and taking a time out to calm down and to then deal with whatever is going on. Another thing I did was when we would be at the store and could hear a kid throwing a fit I would point it out. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it or judge the kid; I would just point out that a kid was throwing a fit. A fit sounds loud and obnoxious when you aren't the one throwing it! The next time she would start a fit I would remind her about the kid in the store and ask if she really wanted to sound like that. That helped her to start to see the fits from a different perspective. Also, sometimes when we would play a game I would pretend to throw a mini-fit if I didn't win. My kids thought this was hilarious because they knew I was teasing. But it served its purpose well of helping them to see what it looks like to others when you throw a fit and they concluded themselves that they don't want to be like that. When her behavior would get really bad and become a real habit, I would pull out a reward system for a couple weeks. I would use it for however long it took for her to get in the habit of thinking before speaking. I had a jar with a little stuffed animal in it. Whenever she said or did something kind, I would put a penny in her jar. I was very generous in giving pennies to really target good behavior. I would take a penny out if she started having bad behavior (and I would turn the animal upside down in the jar because the animal was very sensitive). I would generally give one reminder about losing a penny, and if she didn't stop I would start taking a penny at a time. When she had enough pennies I would give her the stuffed animal. Last year she attended half day kindergarten, and while she really loved it, half the time I would pick her up she would start losing it in the car on the way home. She was quiet and cooperative at school, but sometimes the experience was overwhelming and exhausting. On the other hand, I do believe that being in kindergarten helped her to learn self-discipline. I was always nervous about homeschooling her because of her behavior, but she has come so far and improved so much, I feel really good about homeschooling her this year. For homeschooling I found that she learns better with her day broken up, such as reading in bed with me in the morning or at night (again, giving her that cuddle time and one-on-one attention she needs), and playing games and doing projects, math, and writing, throughout the day, instead of trying to sit at the table and do it all at once when there are a lot of things going on around her. Hang in there. I know how exhausting it is. Oh, one other thing. I used calming drops (Rescue Remedy) for awhile (for both of us!!) and also a little lavendar, and that helped us get through it.

I really like the Septimus Heap series

I'm going to suggest laundry carts if you have room for them. Every person in our family has their own bag, so when clothes come out of the dryer they go into their bags. They always know where to find their clean clothes, and the clothes stay clean until they are put away. They have made a huge difference for me. As far as chores go, I decided a couple years ago that my oldest kids would help clean the kitchen after dinner, and after a couple of months of struggle and teaching them how to do certain tasks, they learned that I wasn't going to back down. It's not always without griping, but they're better than they use to be! The plus is that my youngest two are seeing their example, and my 6-year-old actually loaded the dishwasher yesterday because she wanted to! I also make them clean up after themselves before getting to do something they want to do, such as watching a movie or going swimming. My house is not perfect, but by following just these things, I can keep it at least manageable. I do plan on gradually adding more regular chores as they all get older. I think it helps to add chores gradually and also to make the chores part of a routine.

I bought this for my 1st grader: http://www.amazon.com/The-Student-Planner-2012-2013-Primary/dp/B002KXJB6Y/ref=pd_sbs_op_7

I just bought these three planners for my kids because they have calendars as well as plenty of room to write in a daily log/assignments. http://www.amazon.com/The-Student-Planner-2012-2013-Elementary/dp/B0036F9KDO/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1343950789&sr=8-6&keywords=student+planner http://www.amazon.com/2012-13-Student-Planner-Weekly-Subjects/dp/B004URXX7G/ref=pd_sbs_op_14 http://www.amazon.com/The-Student-Planner-2012-2013-Primary/dp/B002KXJB6Y/ref=pd_sbs_op_7

The best thing I did when my kids were about those ages was to hire a mother's helper. Having someone come over for 2-3 hours 2-3 times a week was a sanity-saver. During that time my husband and I made sure to have one date night each week. Having help and making time for dates helped me tremendously.

We're going to use khan academy. It has online videos and practice problems, and it's free. I'm not certain how rigorous it is compared to other programs, but the local science-focused charter school is switching over to khan, so they must feel it's a solid program. My son has used khan some already and liked it enough to pick it for algebra.

I supplemented Singapore level 3 with a multiplication CD (Multiplication Mountain), a times tables app, and I'm going to have my daughter go through the DK 4th grade workbook for review before moving on to singapore level 4. (Singapore 3 is pretty much equal to DK 4). I'm also going to have her really work on memorizing her times tables. I feel like she needs a little more review before moving on. Whether or not you need to supplement will really depend on the kid. My daughter is working about 2 years ahead in math, so I think she needs a little more practice because she's younger. Also, Singapore actually has some extra practice books that can be used to supplement the a and b books.

If you want something cushy you can buy interlocking mats (search amazon to see what they are). We first painted the garage floor ourselves with special paint. Then we put the mats down to make a play area. This was the cheapest option for us. The acid coloring can look really nice, though.

I second Edwena. Unfortunately the carbs and sweets feed the yeast. The yeast makes the cravings for carbs/sweets worse. She will have to change her diet to control the yeast. And the yeast can cause learning/memory/focus issues. I really like Garden of Life Primal Defense probiotics for helping treat yeast.

I feel for your daughter because I've been in a similar situation. I taught music at a very small private school, and I loved it the first year. The second year there were more students with special needs. I loved all the kids and have a special place in my heart for kids who struggle. But it was very difficult because I have a son who has Down Syndrome, and it wore on me to help the kids at school and to then have enough left for my son after school. It also didn't help that the school did not inform me about the special needs until I asked or give me any support. When classes are that small the entire dynamic changes when even one student joins or leaves. My lessons the second year had to be changed to fit the group dynamic, and I struggled because students were added during the year, making it even harder. If I were you I would explore all options for the upcoming year and talk with my child about what the best fit is academically and emotionally.

My daughter loves horses too and just took horse back riding lessons. She loves animals too and currently wants to be a vet. She will be 9 soon and is mature for her age. She'd love to have a penpal or two. We're in Colorado. Message me if either of you are interested (or anyone else).

I would really recommend seeing a neurodevelopmentalist and a holistic doctor. The neurodevelopmentalist can evaluate her and create a program for her, and a holistic doctor can help with appropriate herbs or with seeing what other issues might be going on. There were years when my son's retention was just awful, but it's much better now. I credit fixing his thyroid, putting him on the right supplements, and using a neurodevelopmental approach. Has she been checked for celiac? I know a child who went off gluten and it made a huge difference. It's so hard when they can't retain. I spent so much time teaching my son things that he quickly forgot. I finally decided that getting to the bottom of the retention issue needed to be my first priority since it hindered everything else. I hope you can find some answers.

Llama llama books are great for that purpose. My daughter loved them and there are some great ones that deal with tantrums.

You can work on memory by working on digit span: http://einstein-syndrome.com/development/auditory_visual_digit_spans/ You can also try kinesthetic learning: http://www.custom-homeschool-curriculum.com/kinesthetic-learners.html. I've had success teaching math using bean bags, agility hoops, soccer, balance beams, and songs. The movement helps them remember. I have found, though, that no matter how math is taught it's normal to have to revisit a concept before it's really cemented. My son who has special needs has better memory when he is on gingko and curcumin. I would only recommend looking into either herb if retention/memory is really a pervasive issue that is affecting everything. For him it makes a big difference. Sharon

Thanks, Margaret! I didn't realize I had it so easy!

Margaret, I'm a certified teacher relatively new to homeschooling in CO. I've been planning on doing my own evaluations on my kids, but are you saying I don't even need to do that? Do you put in your letter of intent that you're a certified teacher? marychance, I was nervous moving to CO because we previously lived in TX which requires nothing of homeschoolers. I prefer homeschooling in CO, though, because my kids can participate in the schools, and in TX homeschoolers can't participate in the schools at all. My district is very homeschooler friendly and has several enrichment programs specifically for homeschoolers, plus my kids can participate in after school programs (a nearby charter school has a great after school engineering program that we plan to use). Also, the requirements are not too bad. I especially like that you can choose to have your kids evaluated instead of tested. Good luck!