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Everything posted by EMS83

  1. I'm starting to wonder those things, too. Yes and no on the stupid. I mean, would I characterize someone else's choices, even those specific ones, as stupid? No. I'd probably say dangerous or foolish, depending. But being self-referential, I tend to be harsher. Long, long term pattern. For me I generally say "dumb" as shorthand for careless or impulsive. And that's what I think the driver's seat thing was--the impulse control "switch" didn't flip. That's something different than the other examples. edit: and we never got to why he was uncomfortable with the friend's dad c
  2. Not yet, it's newish. And yes, licensed; I understand. 🙂
  3. I guess so. 😞 In that case, a firearm definitely would be a bad solution, though. So it still doesn't make sense to me.
  4. Well when we met, I was binge drinking and smoking pot and driving intoxicated, so yeah. And occasionally now I do something incredibly stupid and dangerous. I mean, incredibly. Like driving when I know I'm at risk for falling asleep at the wheel. One time I jumped out of the driver's seat with the van going down the road. It's random, but yeah. I have. 99% of the time I'm fine. Sometimes, something misfires. Or with the fatigue thing, I felt like I didn't have another option. My solution (camping) was shot down, and I didn't explore my other overnight options like I should have.
  5. I have a past? idk. I can't say. I mean, I felt that anxiety when we were dating and he went somewhere completely public with a friend and a friend's girlfriend. For me it's been my faith that has helped me feel more secure. Though I still have a hard time figuring out where the line is--that's a whole other topic. But no, he's definitely in the "men and women can't be friends" camp. We had a thread about that here somewhere. He's not willing to be friends with other couples, so that level of protection is off the table.
  6. Well camping and hiking are the main things I'd like to do that seem to fall through. Most of what else I'd like to do can be done at home. But maybe? If I wanted to go to Atlanta with friends, it would probably be a hard sell. It hasn't come up yet, because that's not the sort of things I really like. I don't know how much is me, though... it was a habit of mine to assume I was wrong if my understanding or opinion differed from others'--for always. He's the "who cares what people think" type. I'm seeing a counselor to figure out how/why I became that way and how to quit. 🙂
  7. Yeah but the initial question is: Are you cool with my going on a yard sale trip? Or, are you going to be ok when I go on my business trip? Likewise, the very first broaching of this topic was: I'd like to take the kids on hiking trips to our various state parks, camping at the ones that are over an hour away. The immediate response: you ought to CC, otherwise I'm not comfortable with the idea. At that time (that was 4ish years ago), I didn't have any self confidence to push back, it was a rough time of my life, etc. Now the conversation is going better and that's where the "want a safety
  8. It was originally a "Mommy and me" type trip, but one mom has 6 kids and at that time the youngest was a baby, and her husband was going to come to help out and tow their pop up camper thing. She didn't feel confident towing it, backing, it and all that. I mean, the rest of us could have helped out with babies and toddlers. The fact that he would have been there at all was the source of discomfort.
  9. I was thinking bear spray could be dual purpose... 🤐 But I like cheap, too, and I'm indeed not worried about bears.
  10. Oh, and car camping is where you can pull right up to the campsite. Usually there's also a spigot at the site and possible electric hook up. It's really, really not even remotely backwoods.
  11. That's a good point; I may tend think of these things in a one-sided manner. Though I never got the impression it was against his will, per se. And it wasn't a specific place he thought was dangerous. Part of what he said recently was "camping" is too vague. He wants a detailed plan first, really. But I don't see the point in the effort of fully planning something if the concept itself isn't approved first. It's like, let's get this new product ready to hit the shelves before we know whether we want to develop it or not, kwim? No he's camped before, just not much, and he doesn't
  12. Black bears, yes. I'm not worried about them. I just don't know much about bobcats.
  13. I have no clue! 😄 But out of all the possible things we could run into in our area, those and venomous snakes are what move my concern-o-meter.
  14. It's two different conversations...the first one about firearms a few years ago, the AT documentary was cited. "My mom was watching this thing..." The most recent one I asked what his concerns were about me camping with the kids and he said he just wanted us to have a safety plan. Since we're discussing guns, mace, tasers, and abductions leads me to believe it's more person-threat oriented. Whereas I'm more concerned about bobcats. Not as much about bears, but a little. I told him why about firearms and he conceded (in the recent conversation). I did tell him I didn't see the point in t
  15. Right, these are 1-2 mile loops or "go a mile in, then turn around" kind of hikes. I'm not a backpacker or a primitive camper.
  16. The first conversation about hiking and carrying was several years ago, and I just didn't push back. It was an "I'm not comfortable with that unless..." sort of response. So I dropped it for several years. More recently I suggested camping to go to an event 3 1/2 hours away, he said he wasn't comfortable with it, I didn't think there were hotels around there, and subsequently drove there round trip in a day, creating a dangerous driving situation. His other solution was to just not go to the event. BUT: I should have looked up hotels, and I should have just pulled over and taken a nap and
  17. I think it's abduction by psychos? And no, this is not expansive wilderness or multi-day hikes. It's like, I want to do car camping and hike a few 1-2 mile trails at the various state parks every other month or so. Or as a cheap lodging option for destinations like the beach. Like if all we were going to do is bum around the beach and eat out, why not find a nearby campground and save the hundreds/night? I'd rather be at the beach in a tent than not go at all. That's how I think. He has said once that he's only looking at the next step/reacting to vague proposals, but still...guns j
  18. I like camping. My husband doesn't, and when I've proposed it before, would typically say he wasn't comfortable with just me and the kids going. We went once with a friend and that was ok with him. When I talked a few years ago about me and the kids going on more hiking trips around our state, he said I ought to carry concealed. He'd be more comfortable with it if I did. I didn't push back, we just didn't go hiking. Because I just don't want to carry a firearm. Mace or a taser are his minimum comfort level. I don't really want to carry those, either. But should I be compromising anywa
  19. I remember! Welcome back!
  20. Can I ask what it means when someone says they don't find something funny and the joker essentially pouts and/or gets defensive? Assume they stop, but that's their reaction when you tell them to stop. Also another component I think is the overall context of the relationship. Is it generally happy, loving, respectful, etc.? I think that would soften how such a thing came across as opposed to this being a) the only way the person jokes with you and b) unwelcome by you anyway.
  21. That makes sense, and it sounds so simple, but in the moment? It doesn't come to me. Also, I've never just gotten up and left.
  22. I'm so, so bad at that. And there's a situation I don't want to talk about with people who may well ask (people who are pretty close to me--my evasion will be noted, but it just can't be helped). I tend to feel obligated to answer simply for being asked, and also tend to over share when anxious. 😞 Tips? Old threads? Links?
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