::hugs::

If we shifted mortgages, I would want to pay the new one off in ten years; we wouldn't be increasing the monthly burden by much. If we pay this house off, I know I personally won't want to go get another mortgage. I'm just not sure I want to handle the trade off of staying here for another decade or so. Though it is insanely irksome to fix this place up just to give it to someone else, lol. But then the "I want my kids to have had..." thoughts. But it's mostly property related--goats, woods to explore, legal chickens, etc. (FTR, the chickens are technically legal, just not their coop; we have buffer ordinances, but I followed the spirit rather than the letter of the law).

I don't know. I've just hit my wall for the moment, and that usually means I'm going about things wrong. Just staying put is the least stressful and most financially sound decision, anyway. It's just, I'll have a 17 year old when it's "smart" to revisit this. And likely everything will be even more expensive. And this just wasn't where I expected to raise my kids to adulthood. This was our 5-year plan when I was pregnant with our middle child.

So this month when I asked DH what his #1 priority in a house or property was and he said "privacy," he was apparently referring to our forever retirement property... ? I'm done. Just forget any of this ever happened... ? I guess at least we can only bring things back in that we love and/or need. And get that dang shed. And something to replace our purple corduroy couch that's about 20 years old. Good grief to everything ever...

Well I asked my priest (80) how he was doing today, and he said, "Well as they used to say, to get better I'd have to die." I just laughed and nodded. I could take that two ways, actually. But either way, he's in good humor. It's just a part of reality. It doesn't need to be ignored like a taboo or hyper-focused on like there's nothing else going on and it's all terrible. Anyway, like SKL says, it's wise for anyone to get everything in order and have a plan in place, because we are not guaranteed tomorrow. If something tragic happened to me and DH both, we'd leave a good sized mess behind. Need to address that, really... My parents went on a month long road trip last year and part of telling me what all they wanted me to do while they were gone included showing me where they kept their "just in case" file. It's sad and I don't like thinking about that possibility, such as my mind will even allow me to, but I imagine I'd be extremely grateful for the organization if the unthinkable did happen.

New listings with our criteria in our price point pop up once a week if I'm extremely lucky. More like...rarely. And I'm willing to pay for it twice on a property like that where it's really, really difficult to comp it and the seller seems to be unwilling to budge on price. The first appraisal would tell me whether to bother, and who is being unrealistic. Seems worth the few hundred bucks either as a negotiating tool or to save us both the headache. jmo, though.

Good point. I'll look into that. For us it was a dispute over what shed to put (him: $2k-$5k shed shed; me: $250 aluminum frame with fitted tarp). ? And at this point, if we can afford his idea of a shed, I'd rather put one on our next property. kwim? But if it bumps our sale price... we'll see.

I may see if the seller will allow an appraisal and inspection before putting in an offer, actually. And no, I know I could be rejected; the seller will tell me if I offered too low, though. What I'm trying to figure out is whether the privacy is worth trying for or if it's going to be a money pit. Worst case ever scenario? We stay here. Forever. ?

Not particularly, but DD could theoretically sleep in there in her twin. It's practically a hallway. Might have been a mud room at some point? And ftr, to literally gut this place and redo its floor plan entirely, I'd expect $100k-$150k. Probably not doing that! DH nixed that one. If the owner evicts the tenant, we might reconsider touring it; the tenant apparently doesn't always leave the property or something. But yes, the square footage is a huge draw.

Re: Atlanta...I guess it depends on what "near" means. The county counts as metro, but this property is about as far from the highway as one can get and still be in the county. I seriously doubt it will appraise for what they want. But maybe I'm wrong. And/or they could hold out for people with cash in hand, I guess. The $50k is just a 100% cosmetic redo on 2 bathrooms and the kitchen, making one full bath operable (in the garage), plus all new flooring. That's not the moving walls part; I have no idea how to even begin estimating that. Low COL area, too. And I'm not looking at granite counter tops and real hardwood floors here, or fancy cabinetry. My main concern is how much we'd need on hand out of the gate, and what our day-to-day logistics would be in the midst of everything. Floors have to go. Appliances have to go. Both immediately. ? The kitchen cabinetry isn't unusable, it's just weirdly laid out and needs a really good cleaning. I'd want to reconfigure it at some point but it's livable with new appliances. The bathrooms I'd need to really poke around again; flush toilets, turn on faucets. All I remember distinctly is a mauve toilet and lots of spider webs. ? Standing shower with a door in one bathroom. Decent size, actually. The sleeping arrangement is really what has me hung up; really only 2 functional bedrooms. The house's square footage isn't optimally used, but apart from musty odor, bugs, and old appliances/fixtures, that really does look like its main problem. Pending a full inspection, of course... This sounds nuts, lol. Like I said, this is the possibility property. I guess the question is whether it's worth the blood, sweat, tears and $$$. ?

We could still afford house #2 right now. Otherwise we need to hold off until mid-August to look for anything. Long story as to why. For those who aren't afraid of reno and crappy houses in exchange for privacy: On the market for 18 months, estate owned. Built in 1989, the house is 1617 square foot 3/2.5 on 19 acres (13 wooded, 6 in yard and pasture), plus a wired and plumbed detached garage/shop with a full bath (just under 900 sq.ft.). Bugs everywhere, of course. The house itself smells musty, and has had at least two additions put on it, though the crawlspace looks good. Newer HVAC, water heater will need to be replaced soon, roof probably isn't bad but isn't new, it's been empty for 20 years, but the utilities have been kept on, the yard is kept, and the flower beds are reasonably weeded. Random stuff has been left, so it would need to be cleaned, pest controlled, etc. The bathroom fixtures are all original, but supposedly functional, cabinets are original but useable, the appliances need to go. the third "bedroom" is barely enough for a twin bed, but has a half bath, closet, and window so they counted it. It could be enlarged with some more major work. The other tow bedrooms are good sized, though. The first walk through I think I said it was a total gut job. ? But it could be done in stages, in theory. So...how insane is it to go for this? I was estimating $50k for complete redo of floors, 3 bathrooms (I'd probably remove the 1/2 bath), and a full kitchen remodel. I'd need to move some walls to make the third bedroom a real bedroom. That's where I'm really not sure about cost. Honestly I've been saying here that we just need a few hundred extra square feet and a garage... My concern is where to put everyone while all of that is going on... We can afford to piecemeal things, but we can't afford to live somewhere else while things are being done. New floors, for example, will be a 100% up front cost. As well as a fence for dogs. Unless we shock collar them (the remote kind people use to train hunting dogs). Getting to this point was stressful enough--just trying to live "staged" ugh ugh ugh. I am so uncomfortable in my own house it's stupid and I hate greige. But hey, it's easy to pick up with almost nothing here. Anyway, this is already stressful, so I fly between "I can't do any of it" and "eff everyone I can do anything," lol. I've got us pared back furniture-wise to where we could theoretically live in a 2-bedroom apartment (or house). It's just mortgage + rent would leave us with nothing to reno with. All of this is definitely accounting for inspections and appraisals and all that. Possibly before I even put an offer in, if the seller will allow that. What would you do or look for, if you're adventurous...

Haven't found someone else, but I'm done with them. I'll likely lose out on all the houses we were looking at, though.

Well I just learned half an hour ago he brought it, unannounced, yesterday. And he's sorry he missed me. ... ? Can he bring them by around lunch today? "Yes, when's 'around lunch' for you? Here's my time window today." No answer yet. To be fair, we've been in contact since December, though I've been up front about how we're approaching this whole thing from the start and indicated we're basically nuts. So they could think we're just dragging our feet some more, but I'm asking for papers to sign now and laying out terms I want to offer on specific properties and asking loan people to run numbers on specific properties and near radio silence. ?

He said let him know, I said today (yesterday); we have to add an extra day for DH to sign whenever he gets home. But I also asked about the stager, because it sounded like the two didn't have anything to do with each other. Then I didn't hear back, even after saying I'd like the papers that day so DH could look at them overnight (which the agent had already said was fine to do). So now it's today, and I'm wanting to crawl in a cave for different reasons. The listing agent said our house would be a good starter home for someone. That will not make me realistic or even pessimistic about sale price, it will make me not want to bother moving.

Yes, that's why I'm trying to get the listing agreement over here. That was the idea--to get it to 98% list-able, then find something we'd actually live in. Then list and offer, possibly in the same day.

I hope you're right.... This post is not JAWM. I'm not sure what to do: I've asked for listing papers, a stager, and told my buyers agent I want to make an offer on house #1 from this thread. Our second choice is #2. #3 is out and #4 is now meh. The stager is coming today at 2:00 (I just want a second opinion; it's as emptied and staged as it's getting). I asked for the listing papers anyway, because up to that point it sounded like it wasn't contingent on stagers or whatever, I was told we could get papers and then schedule a photographer when we were ready. I'd specifically asked about the timeline for listing and there was no "you can't get papers until xyz." Anyway, I didn't hear back about that yesterday. I haven't heard from my buyer's agent after saying which house I wanted to offer on and what I wanted to offer. I asked the loan officer to run numbers on that property after getting an insurance quote, and so far he hasn't. Also the loan officer said he'd call about or second choice because the loan is different, but I had to be somewhere three hours later, and said that. Didn't hear back from him. Am I sending mixed signals? Or do I need to find new people? /sigh. We've never sold a home, so I mean I get I'm the client or customer, but if I'm making mistakes that's sending the wrong messages, that would be nice. DH said screw that and if he took over, he'd probably fire the listing agent immediately, and I have a feeling the buyer's agent would have to go with him, and since the loan officer was a recommendation of theirs...idk. Sometimes it feels like the mafia. And I'll never meet the broker, I don't think. I don't like their business model at all. But I've already dragged the buyer's guy to 7 houses at this point and am at the point of potentially offering if we can get numbers run and things signed... But DH is behind on proposals himself, so I don't want to fly off the handle and fire people if it's like that for them. I'm not sure what the acceptable time frame is here where it goes form my impatience to their poor service. make sense? If anyone's related to real estate people, I'd appreciate their input for this one. Edit: and I'm just going radio silence on people I'm not planning on going with, so I can't say much. /sigh. I told DH if I were the bread winner, we'd starve because I don't do this business stuff well at all.

I was going to suggest Dude Perfect. We watch animal videos sometimes, but I'm the one clicking. With Youtube, I feel like that's about the only safe thing. Smooth McGroove does a capella video game song covers. We don't Youtube much at all, so that's all I've got. ?

This. Also, yes, the bottom rail is too low. If it can't be reworked with more slats, I'd insist on wire mesh of some sort to cover the huge gaps.

Well we don't have a big down payment now; we could in two years. I'm just not sure I want to wait that long to try again. But it would probably be the wisest option, I guess. I was just commenting on how renting would cost us more than staying here and saving up more. I'm just tired of seeing deals go that we could have if we were simply prepared. It's just apparently incredibly stressful to get and stay prepared... For me, anyway. I'm probably doing it wrong, lol.

I've suggested both in the past (or just adding a second story). DH vetoed both. He'd like to not see any neighbors. ? We're not too close, relatively, but still. I think 200-300 feet is more his minimum distance. I've also pared down as much as I can without co-opting everyone else's stuff and tossing it out. And I'm sitting here wondering do I want to still be here with a 14, 12, and 9 year old? We could probably pay it off in 2 years if we got serious about it. But then that could also be saved for a massive down payment for elsewhere (DH's approach). idk. We're at this point we're at now because I got tired of seeing great deals (fixers, but solid) pass by, as well as cute move in-ready options. It just happens to be his busiest time of year.

We want land for privacy, gardening, and future hobby farming. We want more space. Not tons, but there are 5 of us & 2 big dogs homeschooling in 1200 sq.ft. No attic, basement, garage, shed. Land & privacy is more important to us, but still, I'd really like at least a dedicated school/toy room. edit: And I feel kind of bratty even complaining because there are worse conditions to live in, and not that long ago families routinely started and finished in about this much space. But they didn't tend to home school, and big dogs weren't as much of a thing. But still. It's cramped.

Now I'm really having cold feet. It's complicated. /sigh. Going from rent to mortgage is so much easier than mortgage to mortgage. I'm seriously tempted to just sell and rent for a bit, but our mortgage is stupidly low. DH is not actively involved in any of this, either. He said he's fine with that, but... I lack confidence.

Lots of hugs. I'm so sorry. First, don't listen to those ladies. Seriously. Or us. Listen to your gut. DH and I weren't even of the same mind and it undid me. I knew it would, but "submit to your husband." He'd rather I'd spoken out than gone along with his inclination. And all the helpful ladies around me were very clear that even three was nutty. Your situation is different, though. If you already chart, are you guys open to the fertility awareness method where you abstain during the fertile days? It requires faithful BBT readings, and abstaining just at the time your body will tell you not to, but it's not permanent. If you're feeling bad about "contributing" to conceiving babies that don't survive, don't. It's not in your hands. I only mention it because I know I'd be inclined to feel culpable. If it's just knowing what to do with yourself when your kids are grown, that will come. I'm working my way toward gardening, hobby livestock, and rough carpentry. ? Your interests may be different, but as they get a bit bigger, you'll have a little more time to develop them bit by bit. Or discover what they are in the first place. ? I was only interested in Bible study and mommying for several years there. With nixpix, uncertainty on either side should be a big red flag to not rush into anything permanent. More hugs!

I packed most of my house up about a week and a half ago. Haven't done the fridge, though, lol.

Good luck!