Here too. I work in an office, and use ma'am and sir liberally with my co-workers, some of whom I am old enough to have mothered. I don't use it mockingly nor subserviently--it's just an expression of politeness. None of them seem to have been offended by it, ever.

You could always give him his very own kitten. 😀😉

You know, I'm generally a pretty understanding mom. I have always tried to find what was underneath behaviors and be sensitive to my kids. But sometimes...they just get stuck and need to be approached in a different way that shakes up their thinking and helps them to see a new perspective. Complaining can be one of those things. They can get into a bad habit of griping about everything, and may not really need an audience. They might need something to help them realize how often they are complaining, and a little motivation to think before they talk. Yes, it's true they need a healthy environment where they are listened to and cared for. But now and then (in my personal experience) a thoughtful and sensitive approach has backfired into creating melodrama, manipulation, and dragging out something that needs to be nipped in the bud. I try to keep an arsenal of a variety of approaches to parenting. Humor and tongue-in-cheek can be helpful sometimes, and it doesn't mean that you are being mean to your kids.

I have never heard of Akkermansia muciniphila before. Hmm. As a young child, I was on antibiotics a lot; I have also had bouts as an adult, especially about 8 years ago due to repeated respiratory infections. This has me really curious--are there food sources that help boost this bacteria, and if so, what are they?

Yeah, I have another for whom this wouldn't have worked, because money wasn't a big deal to him. Thankfully, he wasn't much of a complainer. The one with the complaint jar was only a complainer about school, and there wasn't a deeper problem; he just wanted to do other things. But he was determined I wasn't going to get a coffee from him, and that quickly eliminated the problem.

Went through this quite a few years ago with one of mine, mostly related to school work. (Not a time of the day when I wanted to add extra chores--I wanted him to do his schoolwork!) I labeled a little jar "complaint jar" and told him every time he complained, he had to put a quarter into the complaint jar. And then I was going to go out to the coffee shop and enjoy me some good coffee and a snack, because I surely deserved it after listening to all that complaining. Maybe I kind of built that up with a little drama about how much fun I was going to have...Surprisingly, I think I only got two quarters total. The jar was in a prominent place on the table where he did his school work.

I think I'm going to add being independently wealthy. 😄 I definitely need something to add order to my days (no kids homeschooling anymore, and I realized I needed the structure when I started working part-time). But I'd like for it to be on my own terms, and to be able to live where I want (which means closer to my adult kids and grandbabies). Dh would still probably work, but he might be able to choose something more volunteer rather than on somebody else's timetable. I might still have my little book shop, but hey, as long as we're dreaming, right? And then once a year, we could rent out a big place on the beach or in the mountains, and the whole family could spend some time together on our dime. Sigh. I miss my kids, and it is so much fun when everybody is together.

I like these parts of Garga's fantasy. With maybe only one cat or a dog or one of each (as per #1). Or I sometimes think how I would love to have a shop like in You've Got Mail, which is hard to make a viable business these days--but how I'd love to have a bookshop like that. And I wouldn't stock books that I find horrible--just favorites that I loved or influenced me in positive ways that I want to share with the world. I mean, it's a fantasy, right?, so I don't have to worry about making customers mad by refusing to order yucky books or books I didn't like/felt were a waste of time. And I could close it for a month each summer and rent that beach cottage so I could write. :)

We haven't had the ADHD challenge, but we have the dyslexia challenge. I read an article yesterday that someone had linked on Facebook about ADHD behavior and sleep apnea. It was very interesting, but because I read it on the Facebook page and didn't click on the link, I can't find where it is. Not trying to sidetrack/dismiss at all, but for some people, that might also be a place to look for help. Our bodies are so intricately made; it is fascinating, but can also be so complicated in figuring out how to help our kids and ourselves.

I'm sorry about this for your family. However, since the coach who interacted (failed to interact) with you handled it the way he did, and is the head of the program, that would decide it for me. If he didn't have a position of leadership, it might be different. When our ds wanted to play soccer, we told him that was a good choice, but due to money and time constraints, it would have to be rec league. And though he is a good player, rec was what he wanted as well. It has been a great fit for him in two different locations. I'd ask around and talk with the boys about other options they might be interested in that would also free up time and money, since that only grows as they get older. We have family members who are very actively involved in club baseball/softball. Their kids are really good, and the whole family loves it. But there is no way we, personally, would commit the amount of time and money to it that they do. I'd rather have a more relaxed lifestyle with time to do other things as well.

A quality pen might be appreciated. I'm not a prof, but I do love a good pen!

I can't remember for sure, but I believe we went to an oral surgeon pretty soon for dd. I think he's the one who tried out splints first. She ended up having to have surgery because the splints wouldn't keep it in place. She continues to wear a splint several years later. Her jaw would actually lock sometimes, as well as cause considerable pain.

They usually have really pretty note cards (size of thank you cards, but blank--so useful for all occasions). So I'd buy a box or two of those. Then if they had 2020 planners out, I'd go ahead and get my favorite planner (not like the fancy expensive ones). That would leave me enough for a couple of paperback books. And whoosh, all gone way too fast.

I'd do what you mentioned, and take it by the extension office. Because if you have tasty berries growing, you want to be able to take advantage of it!

That would be a hard decision. I've lived in all kinds of areas, and easily see advantages to both. Is there a way you can stay where you are, but make it more maintenance free? (I'd love to live more remotely, but don't want a lot of upkeep.) The walkability sounds wonderful, but so does the solitude. I'm really no help here at all...

I am so with you. Where we lived before, I was always able to get in to see our PCP in a reasonable amount of time. Where we live now, any medical care takes forever to get in, especially if you need a new patient appointment. I don't care a lot for our PCP here, but I'm hesitant to try to get set up with someone new. ETA: Last time I was sick, miserable with some kind of respiratory thing, I decided just to show up at the office and see if they could work me in. It worked, and I was in within about 15 minutes--less than if I had actually had an appointment. I'm sure that wouldn't always be effective, but I decided to risk it.

We do sometimes get each other cards, if we find an appropriate or funny one we particularly like. My favorite is on our fridge. It has an older couple, both slightly overweight, dancing in their 1950s looking kitchen, gazing lovingly into each others' eyes. She has on a plaid cotton housedress, and he is wearing an undershirt and shorts. They are both wearing socks and slippers. Inside it says, "The honeymoon never ends." Ha--I found it! https://www.ebay.com/c/1972847426

We don't. We both like gifts, but just never got in the habit of anniversary gifts. We enjoy a nice dinner out. This year, we were talking about going to try a new restaurant in the nearby much larger city (that we haven't explored since we moved here a couple of years ago). But when it came to the day, we just looked at each other and decided we'd rather go to the Chili's right down the road. It was enjoyable.

My dh is one of the worst in the world to do this, lol. So much so that I have to laugh, because he is generally not a matchmaker/busybody type. We talk about it sometimes, but for some reason, our kids aren't usually interested in the same prospects we are. Fancy that! 😛

Skechers has some nicer (not sneakers) shoe models that our boys liked. They are comfy and not quite as expensive as some brands.

On the algebra issue, we've been in a variety of schooling situations over the years. While I know it's been trending that way, none of my kids took Algebra I in 8th grade (I don't think--it's possible one dd did), including my two still at home. In hindsight, I am glad they didn't. That extra year gave them a better understanding. Now, none of my kids have gone to an Ivy League for undergrad, but none of them have suffered either, and had no problems with entry into a good decent university or their courses there, except for my oldest, and that was late in his college career--and had nothing to do with academics--more to do with other things going on in his life. My most mathy/sciency child is now in an Ivy League for grad school and doing well. Of my four older kids, one has a master's degree, one is halfway through, and one is thinking about it. The other is happy currently with her BSN.

She's so cute. I like Whimsy, but she also looks like a Daisy to me.

Yes. Sadly, I have a ds who, at least at this period in time, doesn't seem to feel accepted or loved. We've made mistakes, sure, but we work very hard to try to make him realize how much we love and care for him. It's like loving a brick wall. Recently, I lost it with him a little bit and told him that we love him, we want a good relationship with him, and we want him to feel like he belongs. But we can't do it all ourselves--he has to take some responsibility and make some efforts too. It hurts us sometimes, but our main concern is that he's carrying around these feelings of...whatever it is, when it isn't necessary, because we see his gifts, we see what a great kid he is, we are NOT wishing he were like his brother or other siblings, etc. ETA: I didn't share with him that it hurts us sometimes and ff, but I did share with him that we see his gifts and ff.

Thanks, all. We aren't panicking or anything, just wanted to be proactive. The ticks are tiny, but I dropped them by the extension office, and should hear next week what kind they are (he found more, so there were five). That way, if he has a reaction, we will know the most likely direction to pursue. They were so small that pictures don't help, because I can't tell what they look like--but my sight isn't the best anyway. The attached ones were only on him for a few hours, so hopefully he won't have any problems. We don't have any pets, and the ticks were not from our yard. We also do not live in a tick disease-prone area, so that is also in our favor--but I didn't know that until after I had posted. He went back to work at the same place today, but sprayed his clothes well beforehand. He knows what to look for now, as far as watching for any reaction, etc. Again, thanks all.

I've never been there, but a couple of friends on the east coast took a trip to Iceland for about three days. Flights were cheap, they rented a car, and had a blast. Lots of interesting natural areas.