This may not work very well for you, because my sons were much younger at the time. But I was homeschooling the two youngest--maybe around 6th and 3rd grades? And they got in the habit of whining and complaining. So one day I brought out a jar with a lid and put it on the table. I told them that when they whined and complained, they had to give me a quarter to put in the jar. (Inflation would make that more, now.) If I had to listen to all the whining and complaining, then I should get to take myself out to a coffee shop by myself, and I might even get a dessert too. In fact, I could hardly wait! I think from that point on, I only got two quarters. They just needed something to make them aware of what they were doing and to break the habit. It was understood that if they were having trouble with something or really needed something to change, that I would work with them on that. With a teenager, I'd see if I could come up with something similar but age appropriate. Sometimes they just don't realize how much they are doing it, and what it sounds like to others.

I'm so glad!❤️

Sadly, yes. I'm afraid I don't remember the details very well. I should clarify before my mother is gone, but her memory isn't very good anymore, so I don't know if I could count on the accuracy of her answers. I had assumed that none of them (either side of my family) were slave-owners due to being rural farm families in the South--not wealthy people, by any means. But I was wrong. One family, at least, did have several slaves, but I can't remember how many--3-4, maybe? She remembered the story that when the man went to war, he told his slave that if the slave took good care of his horses, when he returned, he would give the slave one of his horses, which he did. That is all I remember being told. It saddens me that this is part of my family history. Was giving him a horse supposed to make up for the man's being a slave? It also saddens me that we still have so much racism, which periodically raises its ugly head even more than usual, reminding us that it never really goes away. One summer as a college student, I lived with a family from NJ. The mom told me that her (white) daughter was in a jazz dance troupe that was all black except for her. The mom said she did not understand the South, and why anyone would have a problem with their child dating someone who was black, because she would have no problem with her daughter dating one of her co-dancers. Playing devil's advocate a little bit, I said, "But what if he were Puerto Rican?" She paused at that, and said, "I see what you are getting at." I have lived in many places, in both the United States and overseas. In every place I have lived, there has been a kind of hierarchy of race; one group is the more privileged, one group is the more looked down upon. (And if it isn't race itself, it is ethnicity, or social status, or educational status, etc.) Like @gardenmom5 says, there is a tendency in people to want to be in power over others, to be the "honored" ones, to be "better", and to put down others so they can feel more important. It isn't just a problem of the South. It is a worldwide problem. As if something that we can't control makes us better or worse than someone else, rather than being a reflection of God's creativity in making all races in His image. And it is a "me" problem. If I start to be proud because I am "not racist," then I look in the mirror and see that I still have pride that tells me I am better because of another reason.🙁

We have a Speed Queen washer and dryer, not sure what model but they both say Commercial Heavy Duty on them, and were bought in 2016. Top loaders. We didn't use them for one year in there, because we moved and were in a rental that year that had a washer/dryer, so we just stored them in the garage that year. We haven't had any problems with them, I haven't seen any mold. We should probably look up how to clean them out, but haven't yet. They clean the clothes fine, especially if I use a good detergent. Though the unit in the rental looked pretty new, it was frustrating because I usually had to play with the washer in order to get enough water in it to actually clean the clothes well, and I don't have to worry about that with my SQ. No problem with them being rough on clothes. Ours was in an apartment that was on an upper floor the first year, and has been in a house on a slab since then. I haven't really paid much attention to how loud/quiet it is.

I love having six. But that's just me. I would have had more if we could have handled it financially and also other circumstances (including my age--I'm 43 years older than my youngest). So if you want five or more, go for it!

Thank you! I was thinking of her yesterday.

I'm so happy to read the update! I got on checking for your post to see if you had updated. I will continue to pray that he will heal and the doctors will know how to treat him most effectively. What a scare!

Oh @Janeway, I'm so sorry! What a shock to you all. I am praying for your son and your family right now.

Our 5th, that I mentioned above, might be closest to his sister who is 11 yrs older. They have soooo much fun together! He thinks she is the greatest ever, and they are now 34 and 23.

Yes, this. Like @Paige mentioned, you might have to find more friends from outside the family, especially as older siblings move away. But if you want another child after #4, that's okay too! Our youngest has always needed more friends outside of the family, even though he had a sibling just a couple of years older, due to personality and interests.

We had a 7 year gap when we had our 5th child. We later adopted a child who was 2 ½ years younger, but it wasn't really because of the age gap--we'd been talking about it for years. The two youngest did have some fun when they were young playing with one another, but they are very very different people, and have little in common. I think either of them would have been fine being an "only" after older siblings. The 5th because he is an introvert and has an active mind life; he also is quite close to a couple of his older siblings due to similarities in interests and personalities. The 6th because he would have enjoyed the extra attention and lack of competition for it.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette?

I wear sterling silver earrings, for the most part. They don't bother me. Added benefit is that they are not too expensive. Due to sensitivity, I don't wear necklaces anymore, so I enjoy having more interesting dangling earrings (I also have short hair, so the dangly ones show up more.) I have found my favorites at the Sac Silver store on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/08F3EAD9-A4E3-4D0E-B9EF-A497330A60E8?ingress=2&visitId=dfedd527-2aa9-47f5-921b-b83870186f7d&ref_=ast_bln My favorites are dragonflies (though they are larger than I expected), the elephants that hang by their trunks, and the geckos. I have had lots of compliments on them, and they are fun to wear. I can also wear 14K gold earrings, even though I have a gold allergy, but silver goes best with most of my clothes. I cannot wear white gold. I have another pair of favorites that I ordered with credit card points years ago that may be surgical steel. But the Sac Silver store is my go-to now. Dh likes to get me jewelry for gifts, so now I send him links to the ones I like, and I don't feel guilty over the price.

But but but, the crust is the best part!!😭

The aftershocks have always been milder than the initial quake, and haven't caused additional damage in the quakes I've been in.

I wouldn't say I'm a pro, but I've been through several. About 20 minutes after the quake, there is usually a strong aftershock. Then minor ones are ongoing for a few days. Depending on the type, your equilibrium may be a little weird for awhile.

I am much better today! Only a tiny bit of dizziness now and then. I had read not to sleep flat, and not to sleep on the "bad" side. So even though it was hard to sleep propped up all night either on my back or my good side, but not my favorite side, I still slept well and feel pretty normal today. I took one Dramamine before bed last night, too. I did the Foster maneuver here and there throughout the day, and right before bed. I was feeling the vertigo more as it got closer to bedtime, but sleeping on the other side seems to have pretty much finished knocking it out. This was so so much more than just "dizziness." It was so weird. I felt almost like I was being thrown back into the bed when I tried to sit up, and was so disoriented. I have never experienced anything like that, and am so glad it seems to be over. I will still be a bit careful with movement, but now I know that the maneuvers help, and if it happens again, I won't panic. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to travel, and I know dd needs us especially this coming week. So I am much relieved and thankful!

First of all, no, you aren't doing anything wrong. I was coming on to say about the same thing Kirsten said. I have seen this attitude here and there throughout my life, that if you ask for charitable donations, you should be grateful for whatever you get. It is a kind of looking down on people who need anything. That you don't deserve things as nice as I do, since you are asking for something to be given to you, so it doesn't matter if something is torn up, dirty, ages old, broken, something I would never ever use or wear, etc. And they want to be treated as though they are good and generous people for offering you their garbage or useless items. I don't understand it. But yeah, the Amazon list is a good way to avoid a lot of that.

Bumping this thread back up because I woke up with vertigo for the first time ever. I woke up sometime in the night and felt it, but went back to sleep without waking up completely. This has been such a weird experience. When I woke up, I was attempting to sit up, and it was like violent gravitational pulls on me all over. I was only halfway up and fell immediately back down onto the bed. I had to go to the bathroom, so waited a little bit, then crawled. Dh had offered to help me, but I could tell that I wouldn't even be able to stand up and walk with help, and might make us both fall. I got him to bring my computer, and watched videos on the Epley maneuver. I had some trouble doing it correctly--not because the directions were not clear, but I was just so disoriented. I also looked up the Carol Foster video that @PinkTulip suggested, and have done it three times so far. Thank you so much for that suggestion. I can now walk around the house and was able to get a shower, but I am so tired and have a headache. I took a nap in the recliner a little bit ago. I am supposed to be flying with dh on Saturday to meet our newest grandchild, and am really really hoping that I don't have any problems, because dd needs our help next week. I read that I should sleep in a recliner or propped up for a few nights, which will be hard because I am a side sleeper. I am trying to be really careful about how I move my head so as not to trigger it again. I am wondering if there is anything else I should be doing (I will continue to do the Foster maneuvers periodically). Is there any reason to go to a doctor if those maneuvers helped? I'm not planning to, but ?? (My PCP is hard to get in to see.) Earlier, I was thinking that there is no way I could even go in to see a doctor, because I couldn't get out of bed. I have not been sick or anything--only extremely mild congestion, not even enough to take anything for it, but I did take some Benadryl this morning to try to help. I don't have any dramamine on hand.

It wasn't nothing, but it wasn't horrible. Like a miserable bad cold for about a week, fatigue for several weeks, at least for me. Dh had a deepish cough that hung on for awhile--after other symptoms had disappeared, and he is generally over things more quickly. My cough was just a shallow one, but I had more sneezing. Neither of us ran fever.

🤷‍♀️ My latest vaccine was Sept 23, and I caught covid around the last week of December.

Good sleep makes SUCH a difference! Congratulations!

I'm so sorry, @Tap. Not just for the weekend, but for all the complicated stuff of it over the years. You did what you could, though; for years, you did what you could. I'm sorry about your losing the pup as well. May you find peace and slowly be able to let go of the tension and stress you have held for all these years.

Congratulations! She is so beautiful.❤️

While I had expected to homeschool our kids through high school, that isn't the way it turned out, for various reasons. Some of those reasons were circumstantial, some of those were based on the child's needs at the time. One did end up homeschooling through high school, except for 3rd-4th grades. One went to public school at 7th grade. Three went to a private school in 10th grade. And one went to private school in 8th. There were also some other experiences in there, but it gets complicated. Two of the ones who went to private school in 10th, attended 7th grade at a public school; we had been living overseas, and homeschooling was just easier, but we were in the U.S. for a year and they wanted to go to school. After that year, they were happy to return to homeschooling. Academics were going great, but by 10th, they had some other needs that were important to meet. Anyway, all that to say, sometimes it really is best for one to go to a B&M school. Other times, a year in that environment shows them that it isn't all it's cracked up to be, at least for them. I have found it helps to try to understand the real roots of what is going on, and then to be flexible to meet that child's needs. Some children really do need a wider world. Others are happy to keep homeschooling in order to be able to dive deep into some personal interests.🤷‍♀️