thanks everyone for your help in talking me through this... I appreciate the understanding as well as the different perspectives. I do suspect it is cluelessness on the Bride's part. And it is like Kung-fu asked, her mom isn't really in a position to be giving advice. In addition, mom and her husband secretly eloped, so she's never even planned a wedding. I probably won't say anything, honestly. The bride and her mom both have lots of issues with anxiety and I wouldn't want to add to that.

So adorable. Keep them coming. Our rescue hound is nearly 10yrs old. I love hound dogs.

I agree... but I don't think they will. One of my daughter's is not sympathetic at all... sorry, it's the truth. The other wouldn't be comfortable possibly putting the bride on the spot.

The wedding is not local. It's 2hrs away. I would def. go to the ceremony if it were local. That is true that anyone can attend an Orthodox wedding ceremony. I am close enough to maybe say something... but it's 2 weeks away. I think it's too late. I don't think they would assume I'm coming. I haven't seen mom in a while (she doesn't come to church much). She tends to be reclusive and I'm one of the few people who keeps in contact with her. The last time we tried to get together for coffee I had to cancel for being sick. I don't think i'll be able to see her until after the wedding.

as for it being a miscommunication. It is certainly possible. I have mentioned to both my daughters my feelings at being left out. I'm sure they've not said anything to the bride though. Although, I would definitely expect the bride to say something like, "Could you find out why your mom hasn't RSVPd yet??" We do have that kind of relationship and she would not be shy about bringing it up.

well, no, we're not as close I am with the parents.. because she is the daughter. But, OTOH, she and her fiance have been to my home along with her parents on those occasions I mentioned. I've always felt a bit close to her - like a niece to me... but not like we're friends.. If that makes sense. edited to add: My understanding is that the parents didn't have a lot of say... which is what I keep telling myself too.

A friend of our family's daughter is getting married next week and I'm struggling with not being invited. At Thanksgiving my girls were talking about the wedding & invitation. Both of my daughters are bridesmaids and I realized I wasn't invited. It truly surprised me. So I figured maybe I was on the B list (we had one of those too). But the wedding is now 2 weeks away so I guess I'm not even B material. Sigh. Normally, I would brush this off. Sometimes it hurts a bit, but I brush it off and realize that weddings are expensive and I'm not usually as close to most of those people anyway. But this one bothers me. I really thought I would have gotten an invitation. Because I *thought* we were close. Backstory: We became friends when the moved to the area and started attending our parish. They have 2 daughter that were roughly the same ages as 2 of my daughters. They've been to my house numerous times for dinner, for Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Pascha. We've carpooled the kids to camp together. Mom is in a wheelchair and completely dependent on dh. She and I have done stuff together.. gone to the movies, out for coffee or dinner together. I've taken her on "Pokemon" rides because she loves Pokemon and I have a weird enjoyment of cemeteries (and visit my relatives there). When her dh was sick with double pneumonia and thrombosis in the leg and nearly died, 3 of us from the church took turns caring for our friend (getting her out of bed, toilet, clothed, food, meds, etc.) so that her adult daughters didn't have to drop everything and come back home. We had renewed respect for him and all he does... it was a very hard job. I didn't do any of that stuff because I wanted something back. So that does leave me feeling guilty that I feel hurt. I think I would have understood more if it were a small, simple wedding, but my understanding is that it's a big thing and costing them (bride and groom) quite a bit of money. I keep hearing all this stuff from my daughters so it kind of cuts to the heart every time. I'm dreading the FB photos... I just don't want to see my other friends there but somehow we didn't count. I'm trying to get over myself and not let this cloud my relationship with my friend. This isn't exactly a JAWM, but please be gentle. I'm sure I do need some perspective.

Mine is less than 3yrs too and it's on the fritz. Sounds like similar issues... can't keep it's battery charge. I'm buying a new charger first to see if that helps.

I agree.

wonderful news!! congratulations

I agree with Jean. It's not the pinky, it's the way your BIL reacted to a 5yr old. Very inappropriate. Also, I think this will help with your kids. They need to know that their parents are on their side. I would recommend you talk with your son about how sorry you are that you didn't realize what had happened... but now that you know the story you see it differently.

I hope it turned out. I've made tenderloin for Christmas for several years. I just saw this.

Janeway, how did it go for you? Turns out mine was a prop because dh couldn't actually buy me a phone and get it all set up without turning off my phone... whew. We're going to go out later and buy me a new phone

I was looking at the clock around 8pm and longing for my bed. It's been a lovely couple of days with family in and out and Christmas today... but I am so tired and my feet hurt. Happy Christmas everyone. Christ is born! Glorify Him!

Oh yes, our Christmas Eve service is beautiful. It's definitely worth it to find a more traditional church for Christmas Eve too. I remember our former Charismatic Church just didn't cut it for Christmas Eve or Easter, even back when we were fully on board with that type of worship. But it sounded like Quill had already had plans to go to the Mega-church for Christmas Eve.

hugs.. I haven't read all the responses, but it doesn't sound like you want advice necessarily. Believe it or not- before you know it your 14yr old will be older and you won't necessarily have to feel so chained to the big mega church. Can you go to the Lutheran church for Christmas morning services? Most liturgical churches will have Christmas morning services. I know for a lot of people not used to that, it would be a big shift in Christmas morning plans... so it might not work for you. I hope you find a workable solution soon though. I've been in the limbo place before where my wants & needs did not work with what the kids/husband wanted/needed.

This is my dog too... either that or he'd be like "oh friends to let me out!" AK mom - so glad you had such good doggies!!

OMG!! Our husband's must be related?! I need to go back and read the responses more clearly. I just happened to see what I'm getting for Christmas. I have an Amazon list that I pointedly told him about in Nov when he complained he didn't know what to get me for Christmas. Not only is this not something on my list...it's not even something I want. My phone cracked last month, but I'm a *Samsung* girl..... ugh. I've only bought Samsung for the last 10yrs. I keep thinking to myself that maybe it's a gag gift (I only saw the box). But, yeah, I'm vacillating between trying to put on a happy face and/or being honest that I don't want another brand of phone. I mean, it's not like it's something small that I can play off.. it's something I will use all day, every day. I'm left feeling like an ungrateful wife. Still hoping it's a gag box. Please, God, let it be a gag box. I'd be happy with a box of candles at this point.

oh boo... sorry to hear he may be in the hospital for Christmas. What a bummer. but, glad he's slowly making progress.

While I understand that "no" is a complete sentence I do think the dog owner could have diffused the situation be being a little kinder. Not so much what she said but how she said it. Then if the mom persisted, gone with "no, means no." I just don't understand why people can't be a little nicer.. It only takes a second. But, I also wanted to vote "Not enough information to make a decision" because maybe the owner had already been asked a million times if someone's special snowflake can pet their dog and/or were having a crappy day...and they finally had had enough. Unfortunately, someone's bad day may be what made the news. I agree that our society wants to video everything and I find that troubling.

My son and daughter in law go to an Orthodox church in the Antiochian (Arabic) tradition. Mostly their service is in English but they will sometimes add some Arabic. My kids went to an Antiochian Orthodox kids camp and the services were mixed English/Arabic. At our parish for Pascha we read the Gospel reading in all the languages we can gather from parishioners. This is usually about 12 people at our parish, with everyone doing a verse or so. One of the ladies at church is Lebanese so we always hear a portion of John 1: 1-17 in Arabic. I don't understand what the problem is.. I know its an issue for some, but I don't get it either. The Three Kings (Wise Men) being three in number is part of ancient tradition. FWIW, in Orthodoxy, we celebrate their visitation on Christmas not Epiphany. We call January 6th: "Theophany" and we celebrate Christ's baptism and the "revelation of God in Trinity". This website had some interesting information about the Wise Men from the East. https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-Greek-Orthodox-understanding-of-the-three-wisemen-in-the-New-Testsment

oh wow. I didn't realize you had finally gotten the green light. Yay for you!! Are you moving locally? I know you've long wanted to move to the west coast. I'm so happy for you. FWIW, I miss having a basement. Not a finished basement, but someplace temperate to store stuff. I have a lot of weaving things that I can't put in attic (yarn, reeds, warping sticks) plus sewing machine that gets used 3-4x per year... plus...plus..plus. I really didn't think I'd miss a basement. I also hated our old basement - so much wasted space. It was a finished basement but since the kids moved out it was never used. I only used about 1/4 of it for storage - in our furnace room (it was also nice having the furnace/water heater in the basement rather than taking up precious space on the main floor). My dh installed big wooden shelves to hold boxes and storage items. I miss having that extra storage for non-everyday things.

Continuing to pray.

I agree that you have to set some hard boundaries with your dad. Maybe tell him you are available 2 days a week for visits to bring special foods or take him to appts... otherwise, the rest of the time is for your family. I think it's great you set up the Christmas decorations for your dad. I don't understand why your brother felt he needed to ruin that. Rude and selfish. The social worker for his case should definitely be made aware of the family dynamics with your brother. Can you call your sister and get her on your side?

so I was going through Awkward Family Photos and found this photo that made me think of this thread: (I'm going to link to the source) https://imgur.com/0UWGn 😁