You say your dad has long-term care insurance... I thought that would cover assisted living expenses..esp for someone in your mother's current condition. i have a friend whose mom has long-term care and dementia... Having a facility for her has been a sanity saver for my friend. It's all paid for by her mom's LT insurance care. Are there dementia units near where you live? Maybe calling a few facilities directly and telling them your situation with your mom would be helpful? I bet they know how to move heaven and earth to get patients admitted. Just a suggestion... so sorry it's all very frustrating for you. :grouphug:

I thought I was seeing double: http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/550635-charlotte-elizabeth-diana/

go to pinterest and look up deck ideas or other landscaping ideas. I bet there's something you'll find that would be better than another hot-tub. Or... Take a picture of it and post it here and let us brainstorm with you!

oh wow, that is embarassing. You poor thing. And then to be laughed at just makes it worse.

yes, he shares as far as I can understand. I don't get the nitty-gritty of his job (he's a software engineer), but I get when "things are working right". Fortunately, he rarely has issues with workplace drama... all those engineers and geeky types just want to do their jobs and aren't into drama I guess. ;)

I agree that if this is your only problem with Bear probably easiest to avoid all contact. But, have you tried reward/clicker training with Bear? You could try a trick we're working on with our dog... that is to give her lots and lots of little treats whenever she starts reacting to her triggers (our dog's problem is other dogs). I'm not talking about dog treats...but the gooood stuff. Leftovers like steak, chicken, lamb... fish. whatever. cut them into very small, pea-sized chunks and when she starts reacting or when you see the mailman coming...just start giving her the treats and talking happily to her and trying to keep her away from the mailman... basically distracting her with something yummy. The theory is that you give them a happy association with the thing their reacting to and then they will eventually calm down and not be scared.

How do you feel about putting your parents in a home? Are you there caring for them because they need it or because you're financially dependent? Caring for a mean, unkind parent by yourself is not what the 5th commandment is about. It sounds like you would benefit greatly from stepping away from this. :grouphug: about the friends issue... I just don't know. At one point I decided to embrace the loneliness and become satisfied with being alone (it helps that I'm an introvert too). Then slowly I came to a place where I was able to build up a few friends over the years. Some of my best friends have been unmarried, no kids women...so you never know who you may connect with.

This is me also. I wasn't too stereotypical as a teen either... I was also very tall for my age and often hung out with older peers... so people assumed I was older. Now, people seem to think I'm younger. I've been asked on several occasions about my "children" who are actually my grandchildren. I'm 51 and color my hair.

us too.. my dear MIL is also a Charlotte.

Aww... named after my granddaughter. :) I'm glad they honored Diana too. That is very sweet.

A little bit. I'm glad that it seems most people are happy in their marriages. If I had been asked this 10-15yrs ago (we're heading to 30yrs).. .then I would have answered similarly. I keep wondering if it will ever go back to the way it was for me too... but somehow I doubt it... because I'm a different person now too. It's also nice to know I'm not alone

You're my new best friend.

Yes, and from what I heard she went to the hospital at 6am and had the baby by 8:30. She may very well be one of those people who labor very well. I had hyperemesis with each of mine... labor compared to that was great.. Hard... not too long... and you get a beautiful baby at the end (I homebirthed). Honestly, I'd take labor over 5 months of barfing any day. But, I wouldn't have wanted to go out an meet the masses the same day. I never had the "pregnancy-new mother glow".

I know. I have a friend who had 2 sets of twins.... she wore spiky high heels throughout both pregnancies, barely looked pregnant from behind, and was back in probably size 4 pre-baby clothes within a month. I hate her. ;)

yes... read the "About the Author" portion and I think you'll recognize her.

okay... is anyone else shocked by the comments. A surrogate?? Are they serious? Poor Imp.. what a hassle.

me too... her article is hilarious.

you can follow it on FB.. I am SO excited (although a bit apprehensive too). https://www.facebook.com/jonathanstrangeandmrnorrellofficialpage?fref=ts I remember reading somewhere on the FB page that BBC is keeping release information under wraps...but I can't find it now

My understanding is that she did in fact say something like this. Very sad. Sorry, but I don't really agree about the Kardashians vs Kennedy's. Yeah, the Kennedy's were probably not people with the most scruples and they had lots of scandal too, but at least they seemed to hold down actual jobs. What do the Kardashians do except prance around?

It's been many years (like 20) but when we did the Finger Lakes we stayed in/near Pen Yan (spelling??). Loved it. It was right on the lake. We also really enjoyed Watkins Glen.

chiming in to agree. I think it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

I answered definitely no. I've actually thought about it a lot and I feel that once is enough. But, I don't think it will come to that. My dh's family has long-lived genes and I strongly suspect I will pre-decease him. My kids are horrified apparently. One of my daughter's informed me recently that she and her siblings have discussed the topic of their parent's death, and they all agree that they don't think they can handle their dad when I'm gone. Oh well... LOL.

I've been pondering marriage (or long-term monogamy) for some time. I keep questioning how natural it is, given that people are living longer and longer. I married young... my husband's family has long-lived genes already. If with both live to be 100+ that will be 70-80 yrs together. Good grief. I'm also a pragmatic loner and have become more independent as I've gotten older and raised my kids. But, my husband is a needy extrovert and very competitive. It wears on me. Sometimes the thought of 40more years seems unbearably long. If it weren't for the child-birth issues in women I'd probably more vocally encourage my daughters to wait a long time to marry... but that dang maternal clock hasn't adjusted to our longer live-spans. I often wonder if I had been better suited to singlehood..but then, I also think it might not have been good for me as a human being - I could have ended up as one of those grumpy ladies who is the bane of some neighborhood. So, I don't LOVE being married... but overall marriage and motherhood have probably been good for me. I totally agree with that last statement. I think the modern understanding of marriage has really messed us up. The expectations are way too high and is hard to maintain for 50-70yrs.

just awful ...so senseless... prayers for the family and for the poor motorist who hit them... what a horrible thing for that man to have done.

:grouphug: :grouphug: what a beautiful blessing for everyone. I hope the healing process continues.