Joanne,
First off, Happy Birthday. (((hugs))) I can only say that I was pleasantly surprised to see you here after highly respecting and admiring you from another board. You have been a source of inspiration in breaking a mold.
YOU ARE NOT A LOSER. I think it's admirable that you are willing to do what you need to do to give your family everything possible. That is not losing, that is providing, that is loving, that is very much being efficient and capable. So incredibly far from being a loser.
You are awesome!