I'm also 5 feet tall, so sharing, especially with a normal sized man, is going to be difficult. I don't usually carry an umbrella. in the rain, I need all my hands to steer small people out of puddles and oncoming traffic. I have had people just reach over and hold an umbrella over my when I'm carrying a small infant. They don't ask, they just do it. But that's for the baby, not me. I can handle getting a little wet. I have shared with someone who is walking along side me. Usually another small woman. It seems to walk along beside someone who is getting drenched without inviting them in.

agreeing with everyone else. He should have known his camp was coming up. I'm a chronic forgetter. I have posted a huge calendar on the wall with everyone's everything and told the kids that we need to help remind each other of where we need to be. They check the calendar every morning because they don't want to miss out. Do you have a family calendar where everyone can see? Electronic calendaring doesn't work for me, but if it's your preferred method, can you make it visible to everyone?

I'm going ot go ahead and use real place names, since I know you know what I'm talking about. I will edit if you'd like me to. Who else grew up in a small(ish) town? Quite the opposite. I grew up in North Hollywood, CA and now I live outside of Eloy. Who else now lives in a big city and wants to go back to small town living? I never felt at home in a city. Any city, and I've lived in a few. I much, much, much prefer a tiny town. where we are is perfect. Eloy is tiny. We are starting to know everyone, see the same people over and over. I like it. we are 15 miles from casa grande, which supplies most of our needs. 45 miles from chandler, 60 miles from Phoenix. 60 miles from Tucson. We can get to anything we could want. Who else does not agree with their spouse about where you think you should live? Luckily we do agree. Neither of us prefers city living. we like small towns, but we really like having some land. We only half an acre now, but the overwhelming majority of land around us is undeveloped, so it feels like we have a lot more. We do like it here. Have you considered Chandler, Gilbert, San Tan, or Cave creek? Smaller feel. but still tons of amenities. The downside of being way out here is the commute into the city. The closer in options would be a great compromise. I like the weather here. Now that we have A/C and we are due for new windows and sliding glass door in 2 weeks, plus solar panels soon, i'm finding it so comfortable. we go to the pools often. This summer has been pretty mild IMO.

It looks so normal from the outside. There's just SO MUCH.

I don't have adult children, so my opinion and advice are not relevent to OP. I don't think we have enough info to comment on a course of action. I understand that she's mostly venting, and I am sorry that this situation is painful, as it would certainly have to be. I believe that the only people who can judge my parenting are my children. I don't get to decide for them that I was a great mom. Of course, I am doing my best. I love them. I hope to have a strong relationships with them as adults. But that's their choice, not mine. I don't think that they are obligated to continue our relationship if they find it damaging. and if I raised them to be so selfish and self-involved that they simply have no time for me, well, I guess I'll reap what I sow. we have been on the other side of this. we have cut my MIL out of our lives. D was estranged from his father many years. My brother cut off all contact with my entire family. These choices are not made lightly or-in our cases-spitefully. I know that there are a lot of people who disapprove of these actions. Especially those with good parents can't imagine NOT wanting to curate that relationship. But not everyone has that privilege. my mother went to her deathbed defending her parenting. she blamed my brother 100%. He may have been a difficult child. but she was just not up to the task of raising him. at all. I do not blame him at all for having no contact. Even with me. Even when he abandoned me as a small child. I forgive him. Because felt that was what he needed to do. I cannot judge for him. Only he can do that.

We don't live in town, but the town we live outside of is like this. It's very tiny.Children and adults walk to school, rec center, pool, grocery store, Circle K, bank, park, clinic. There are only a couple of businesses in town, but they are all accessible. We park on Main St and walk all over. I'd say the whole town is less than 2 square miles. We lived in a small town in Louisiana. WE could walk pretty much everywhere, but it might be a few miles and take a while. We walked 1.5 miles to the park, two nearby restaurants, a small grocery a few blocks away, church, playground, etc. it wasn't as easy as here, but people did a lot of walking and mostly stayed to their own neighborhoods. We also lived near a town in Nevada that was close to the size of the one we live near now. But it was long and skinny. We did walk the length of it one time. It was just a couple of miles, but kind of L shaped. Very few houses in town. Most people had to drive in. not as compact as this town.

yes, and dairy and soy free too. I found that it didn't have much impact on the way we eat. I subbed different grains or just served the food without the grain. Lettuce wraps instead of sandwiches, or just the fillings in a bowl or on a plate, or on top of a salad. Soy was tough because most meat subs are soy based. Quorn, and some others are not. so we switched. At some point, restrictions can be a problem, but I haven't quite gotten to that point.

I planned things for Gem because he would destroy the house and everything in it if I didn't keep him busy. The others, nah. They hung out with us while we did lessons, listened to stories, napped, played, we went for walks, ate snacks. Just the usual kids stuff. Luna has therapy 1-2 times a week, plus story times, and playgroup. She tags along with us to outings. We are swimming now, and we go to playgrounds often. Now that she is healthier and more active, I'm not sure what we'll do with her. I hope she just slides into the routine, but she's been at the heart of it for her whole life. I don't think my younger kids are missing out by having less structure to their days. They seem to be doing ok.

This months menu is really weak compared to my usual fare because we will be out of the house so much. Bean soup Grilled cheese-provolone, swiss, and sharp cheddar stroganoff with beefy strips (new for me. usually just use mushrooms and peas) Potatoes augratin with broccoli and cauliflower gumbo(this one does have meat, because D left some raw chicken in the freezer for months and it needs to be used up, but I can do a veggie one, too) jamabalaya burritos chili beans and spanish rice Krab and cucumber mini sushi ( not veg, but can be. also used radishes, snap peas, and strawberries) lasagna butternut alfredo cheeseburger mac green salads topped with poached eggs or veggie chicken patties or veggie burger yellow rice and beans red beans and rice sweet potato curry stirfried brussel sprouts, sauteed cabbage, veggie potstickers, rice cabbage soup with dumplings croquetes spinach and barley soup lentil porridge egg drop soup with shredded carrot and radish cold cereal with almond milk pastry and fruit for kids

Here's a good recipe site that gives a decent overview of what a healthy vegetarian diet might look like. https://www.budgetbytes.com/category/recipes/vegetarian/page/3/ That said, I made hamburger helper tonight with Boca crumbles, minced onion, shredded carrot and chayote mixed in. Not super healthy. I needed something quick to feed my kids after a day out. I think i eat pretty normal food. soups, salads, sandwiches, coffee, tea, lots of veggies. I do eat eggs and a bit of cheese, and some seafood. We use subs like nut milks, nondairy creamer, veggie burgers, veggie chicken, veggie steak strips, vegan butter, real butter. Not tons, but it helps make my kids happy and boosts my protein while making my life easier. I'm not crazy about breakfast foods-too much carbs and animal products-so I often have a salad in the summer or a warm veggie hash in the winter. I cook meat for holidays. Sometimes we have a turkey for thanksgiving. sometimes i make spinach lasagna. it just depends how we are feeling and what we can afford that year. If I were just having dinner guests, I would make a fancy, delicious vegetarian meal. an excellent vegetarian or vegan meal leaves the guests not realizing they didn't eat meat, because it is satisfying and flavorful.

Good morning. I'm doing alright. I got plenty of rest this weekend. We took it easy, except for Sagg, who went on a field trip to a water park and learned the importance of reapplying sunblock the hard way. He currently has badly blistered shoulders, red skin everywhere and a lot of discomfort. i'm watching my food quality, portions and calories. The scale isn't moving much, But I'm looking better. I'm more active. D gave me a fitness watch. I love it. I don't have it all set up yet, but I love how it tracks my movement and sets goals for me. I've been working more around the house. I'm taking a break today from weeding the back yard. My hands are a bit cut up from the spiky desert weeds. But I'm making good progress. It's a huge job. I think the major increase in energy is coming from sleeping more. Luna is now fully weaned, and sleeping all night. what a wonderful feeling, being rested. I'm taking care of myself in other ways, as well. I went to Sephora for the first time, and got some great products. I bought some new makeup, got a trendy haircut, went very blonde, bought new clothes, Have been taking care of my skin, and doing my nails. It feels good to not be so frumpy and sad looking all the time. This all feels a bit shallow, but I've been so neglected for so long. I need to take care of myself, inside and out, and feel better about myself. No school for me. I have no plans to ever go back. Edit: we are in the thick of summer classes. I tried to limit it to avoid getting over scheduled. We aren't even doing as much as I had planned for us. Lots of downtime.

This isn't new. My daddy told me this. and I had two brothers. I wasn't allowed to be around my brother's friends even when they came to my house. My boys are experiencing much less of this. we run in extremely conservative circles. It isn't that all boys are rapists. it's that we are more conscious about consent. I'm teaching my boys that they are not allowed to touch another person without consent. If Luna doesn't want a hug, they cannot hug her. They are not entitled to touch her because she's cute. I hope this message carries over into their relationships when they are older, too.

Luna sleeps now, so do I. I go to bed around 10, get up at 5. If I'm overly tired, I go to bed at 8, when D does.

Echoing the others. This kind of thing happens occasionally. a dot of diaper cream for comfort if he needs it. I find it usually feels better pretty quickly without it.

Me, too. The only difference I felt at all was increased mental acuity.

There's a ton of info and a fair bit of judgement in this thread already. I just want to give you some support and btdt. My third child was like this. He was difficult right from birth. At 3 I had 3 6 and under plus one more. He was harder than all my other kids combined. I expected ODD or CD would be in his future. For us, I think it was mostly a medical problem. He had protein allergies that caused digestive problems and behavioral problems. He will be 8 next week. We are still trying to straighten it all out.He has gotten much, much easier. You have all of my sympathies. It was so hard. what you are doing is so hard. I used to sleep with my hand clenched around his wrist so that I would wake up if he tried to escape. I tomato staked him for years. If I took my eyes off of him, he would be off destroying something in seconds. He is bright and crafty. He's my evil genius. He is exhausting. I know yours is, too. I lost my cool with him so often. I still do sometimes, though much less now. I am not proud. I almost wish I could do it over, do it better, but it would be every bit as hard and I'm sure I wouldn't do it any better. Hugs, so many hugs my dear. I've been there. I understand.

I've had complicated births with pitocin. I've had continuous monitoring when babies were in trouble, but never internal monitoring.

Hire a doula. She can't make the doctor behave, but she can advocate for you, and will know the intricacies that you don't. We had to fight the ob with my first, and it was awful. Don't go it alone. There is someone who can help.

I have a diaper bag with toddler necessities, but my purse is just wallet, keys, phone, lip balm, and a pen. I might throw a waterproof mascara in there, because i'd have liked to have one today.

This, but 2000 miles.

I'd like to add that we don't fight over a lot of things. We over the same thing over and over. So it seems we are just fundamentally mismatched. Because this is a basic, personality-type issue. I've pretty much given up at this point that we are ever going to resolve this. I guess I need to reeveluate how I handle it, because it hasn't gone away in 18 years. It's probably never going to.

My rule is eat it or don't. they don't have to eat anything. but I don't want to hear whining, complaining, negotiating. If there is a specific food someone really doesn't like, I won't serve it to that kid. For instance, Sagg didn't like eggs, so I didn't give him eggs. No one like zucchini, so I only prepare it for myself. My kids have a part in the shopping, meal planning and cooking, as much involvement as they would like. I only have one picky eater. He has no food allergies, intolerances, is healthy and neurotypical. Edit: I serve mostly one-pot type meals. Soups, stews, pasta, casseroles, salads. There isn't much opportunity to just take the parts you want. They feed themselves breakfast and lunch. They have access to healthy snacks whenever they want.

we argue with fair frequency. We have major disagreements about once every couple of months. We hurt each other's feelings unintentionally and we avoid each other for a while, and I cry. Then we apologize and talk it over and move on with our lives. We do not scream. He has raised his voice maybe 3 times in the past 2 years, and never in the 16 years before that. I get heated a little more easily, but still not often. Screaming, yelling, throwing things, name calling, slamming doors, no. Never. No ugly fighting.

We are both difficult people. Our life has been hard. partly circumstances and partly our own fault. Of course we have a harder time being married. I can't imagine a relationship like you describe. I would guess you are easier to get along with than I am. Or you are incredibly well matched. We aren't like that.

We are passwording the computer tonight and locking the Xbox controllers in our bedroom for this exact behaviour. My kids have less to do than yours. There's a huge difference between extreme deprivation and not giving your kids absolutely everything they ever want.