Off the cuff, what about 12 - 15 days a year, after that it comes out of vacation? Everyone has at least three weeks of vacation. The rolling over is a good idea, not sure if he can get that through. At this point, they'd probably leave personal time as it is. It's basically "take what you need, just manage your time and your job well." Does that sound normal? Stingy? Generous?

That sounds horrible!

Thanks so much, all of you, for sharing your thoughts here. It's helpful!

Yes, unusual situation. Most of the company is not in the U.S., and the U.S. Division doesn't have the same policies as the overseas. For 15 years, there's been no need for a policy, kind of a bummer they need one now.

Oh, but the flip side of this is that if DH knew there was a chronic condition, he'd fight tooth and nail to accommodate it.

Oops. Was I unclear? Not surprising. :) There is no sick policy currently in place. So there's nothing earned or given, and if there were - certainly no one would question it. I didn't mean to sound as if DH is questioning what an employee is doing with a benefit. The policy has always been "take what you need, and we'll work with you. If it becomes excessive, we can discuss." The concern is more that this employee might see that there is no policy, all sick leave is covered, and take advantage of it. He started with the company not quite ten months ago, and has called in sick 11 times, counting today. That's in addition to taking personal leave for doc and dental appts, and scheduled vacation. At what point does it become "excessive"? It sounds like 11 sick days in 10 months isn't excessive, which is excellent. I suspect that the CFO will ask DH to out a policy in place though, if the pattern continues, so it's good to know what other companies do.

Thanks! DH had no idea what the norm might be. His company is very generous with sick time, paid leave, personal time, and so on. They encourage people to take care of themselves. But he wasn't quite sure, on this one. Employee has only been with the company for 10 mos, so this seems to be the norm for him. He's single, no kids, right out of college. No family in the area. One absence was after a trip to Germany, company HQ, where there was heavy drinking (company culture on those trips), so one absence was for "dehydration." Poor guy. It's entirely possible he's dealing with something chronic.

Yes, it's paid time off. Unfortunately, the CFO is looking at this and thinking a policy will need to be put in place. So the pondering continues. Thanks for sharing your experiences. DH will aim for a generous policy, if that's what needs to happen.

Yes, DH is thinking there's a chronic condition, best case, and he wants to be supportive. It would be easy if these were longer absences, with a clear cause. But the way it's going, it's hard to tell if it's a health issue or something else.

Ok, for the sake info, this employee gets 15 days paid vacation. That's separate from sick leave.

Curious how much sick leave most of your working family members have? DH is faced with a dilemma. His co has never limited paid sick leave, and no one's taken advantage of that. He has a current employee, though, who calls in sick fairly often. Only for one day at a time, we're not talking weeks off to recover from serious illness. 10 days in 10 months. DH went in today, with the intention of talking to employee, just to get a feel for things... But... Can you guess? Employee called in sick. :) now it's up to 11 days in 10 months. What's standard? What's excessive?

One thing that is amazing in all of this: for the most part, the kids are more caring then the adults who feel resentful. We've seen parents who are in a tailspin about packing something other than peanut butter, but as soon as their kids understand that their classmate could become seriously ill, the kids are very kind, caring, and vigilant. Not all the time, but enough. Obviously, the protections provided under the law are necessary. And in case anyone thinks the only accommodations are nut bans - there's a lot more to a child's 504 plan than that. No one feels safe because of a general nut ban. Ever. Those same protections for kids with LTFAs, though, could be used to accommodate other kids with diagnosed disabilities, such as the need to eat peanut butter or almonds, within a specific time frame. The nut bans, and other policies are in place for normal kids. Kids with sensory issues, etc, can certainly seek accommodations. I fully support that, as I said earlier.

:cursing: :crying:

Oh yes, to all the above. All the groveling, and begging, and pleading, and kindness, and offers of assistance don't even make a difference, so often. How about the preschool director, who proudly takes the food allergic kid's parent back to the kitchen to show off the wonderful bread she'll be serving the nut-allergic kid that day. And it only has hazelnut flour in it, and that's not really a nut! (True story. We left preschool that day, and didn't go back.)

I feel like this needs to be posted here, for the sake of info on disabled students in public schools (not addressing private school, extracurriculars or camps, but addressing the issue of food in public schools, as discussed in this thread since some have suggested isolating kids with allergies or providing them with home tutors): http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/edlite-FAPE504.html Particularly relevant: Students With Disabilities Must Be Educated With Nondisabled StudentsStudents with disabilities and students without disabilities must be placed in the same setting, to the maximum extent appropriate to the education needs of the students with disabilities. A recipient of ED funds must place a person with a disability in the regular education environment, unless it is demonstrated by the recipient that the student’s needs cannot be met satisfactorily with the use of supplementary aids and services. Students with disabilities must participate with nondisabled students in both academic and nonacademic services, including meals, recess, and physical education, to the maximum extent appropriate to their individual needs.

That kind of blanket statement is exactly why I stay out of these threads normally. I, personally, in this thread have repeatedly acknowledged that it's an issue, have thanked those who help keep allergic kids safe and offered suggestions to keep everyone eating their preferred foods. I have never made demands on anyone re: my child's food needs. We homeschool. As I stated before, we make no requests re: snacks at activities - we bring our own, and if allergens come out - we leave. Even if it means missing events. We don't ask that anyone change their lifestyle. Your words are hurtful to those of us who try exceedingly hard to keep everyone happy, and safe.

Do you really want to see her? I ask because it's hard to read in your post. Calling her the "golden child" doesn't speak to a relationship that you want to continue. If you're not sure you want to see her, it's okay to say no, or to find something pressing that you must do when she's in town. So, if you want to see her, then I'd probably be clear about a few things. First, if you don't want to see your mother, then say so. If you need a reason, tell your sister that you haven't seen or spoken to your mom in a long time, and that you don't want that reunion to color your first visit with your new niece or nephew. Next, if you don't allow pictures of your kids on Facebook - then that won't really be a surprise to your sister. Everyone I know knows that I don't do Facebook, and we don't allow images of our children posted online. So it's never a surprise, I'm just very clear about it. (Of course, if you do Facebook, and you post pics of your kids online, then I have no idea how you can easily tell your sister that it's okay for you to post, but not her?).

Total miss here.

Curious, too.

I like my otterbox. I don't have the kind with a cover on the screen though, so not much help there. But I've dropped it a lot, and it's always survived.

I loved that. Thanks for reposting it.

Our adult child is not married. When still in college, we were sending $100. We are shifting to $50 in a card, and a nice dinner out. Or a small gift - clothes, or something. So, oops, I guess we'll still spend in the $100 range, just differently.

Are you dressed up as a cow? ;)

Wow. I just went back to high school. Thank you. That was fun.

You're right. It is an issue. It's not as big an issue as a potentially fatal reaction, but it's an issue. So, again, thank you to all the moms of non-allergic kids who help look out for our allergic kids. We didn't choose this, and our kids want nothing more than to be like all the other kids. Thanks for making it possible for them to eat in cafeterias with others, and participate in school, and activities, and life.