The examples of cars and car colors aren't typical dementia symptoms, IME. I know what my immediate family (who live with me) drive, but I really have very little idea about anyone else's cars. I don't care about cars, and I just don't notice them very often. I'm not a "car person". I know, in general, the car types/colors of my handful of closest friends whose vehicles I've seen hundreds of times and ridden in dozens of times . . . But, I don't know for SURE. I know Bev drives a light Mercedes SUV. I think it might be silver. Or white. I only remember it's a Mercedes bc her husband is a "car guy" so there is attention paid . . . I know Beth drives a Volvo (light colored? or is it dark -- maybe red? Silver?) or on other days some sort of SUV -- maybe that's the light colored one? I just don't care much about cars. I know the four that live in my driveway, but that's about it. Google up "early dementia symptoms" for checklists. Things like trouble "word finding" for basic words (I.e., can't recall the word pilot, so says "the person who drives the plane") and trouble with "executive function" (i.e., used to handle all the family bills but is now overwhelmed with basic bill paying/mail opening) and increased susceptibility to scams (i.e., my attorney super-savvy mother believed the Publishers' Mailing House mailings were real and that she'd won $50,000 . . .) are more typical signs of early dementia. IME (caregiver for mother with Alzheimer's from early signs through her death), the only medical thing I'd suggest DOING if you're concerned is making sure she has a check up with her GP soon for a basic physical exam. If she'll allow it, go with her to take notes and make sure your concerns are investigated. Request a MMSE (mini mental status exam) -- that any decent GP will have on hand and can do in under 5 minutes. This is the baseline for checking for signs of dementia, is scored, and will be very helpful for a first step and for a baseline in the future if your concerns become heightened. Also request comprehensive bloodwork to screen for the many known causes of mental deterioration in elderly folks. (Thyroid, Vitamin D, etc, etc, etc.) Those things can be done by the regular GP and will result in a referral if appropriate/needed. The other thing I'd suggest to ALL adult children of parents 70+ is make sure their documents are in order (estate attorney!!) and also to make sure you (or someone else very trustworthy) are monitoring their finances and MAIL to make sure they aren't dropping financial balls or being preyed upon. Find a way to monitor accounts, to get their "big money" behind a firewall that can only be accessed/changed with a second person's approval (so they don't get cleaned out bc the gave a predator access to their accounts accidentally or on purpose), etc. Getting CC'ed on their email account and finding a way to monitor their phone calls is also helpful. When/if things go south, you'll want to be able to limit the ability of "bad guys" to contact them. That's tricky, no fast/easy answers, but is a critical thing. The most dangerous thing about early dementia is that folks are targeted by evil people, even charities, even well known and "good" charities, even their church. When dh & I become anywhere CLOSE to that point (and automatically when we're both 70+), I'll be sure all our "big money" including titles to real estate, businesses, etc, are behind a firewall that will require my kid(s) to sign off on any major changes.I'll make sure someone trustwrorthy is monitoring all accounts monthly and doing credit checks routinely as well to watch for new accounts. I.e., put all the major accounts under some sort of custodial agreement and just leave "play money" (say 100k out of 2 million dollars, or 30k out of 1 million dollars) readily accessible along with regular transfers of monthly bills/etc. That way, the elderly person can only easily be scammed out of money they can readily afford to lose, and any big problems will be caught before they become catastrophic. SIMPLIFYING financial affairs is a primary concern, and I'd work to have my financial affairs as simple as possible before retirement.

If you can have electricity, I'd do a crab dip or an artichoke dip along with pita "points" (toasted pita) or simply slices of French bread. (Electricity needed to keep the dip warm either on a warming tray or a small crock pot.) The dip can be made ahead of time and simply kept warm. Another great one is sausage balls (also need to be kept warm) with a mustard dipping sauce.

I could do it if couponing is as effective as it was when I was really into it in 2008. I had access to many computer workstations, so I could easily evade the 2 coupons per computer limit on internet coupons. So, I'd be able to print 30-50 coupons for every item I wanted, and so I could mass-purchase the super good and even money-making deals. I was able to feed 5 (including ALL groceries/etc other than RX meds) on about $80/week and after a year, had at least $1000 in extra staples (pastas, cereals, canned goods, etc) on hand when I stopped hard-core couponing. I probably spent 3-5 hrs/wk printing coupons, planning deals with the sales flyers and couponing websites, and actually shopping. More the first months when I was learning the ropes and schemes. I was probably using $200-300/wk of groceries and donating another 100-200/month in excess and too-good-to-pass up deals. (I.e., there'd be a deal where I could make a 20c profit per mayonnaise purchased, so I'd buy 40 and donate 30 of them . . . Or maybe I could buy a cake mix and make 10c, or maybe I had to buy frosting to save $2 on a jug of milk . . ., so I'd buy as many as I could and donate the extras.) It was actually quite fun as a hobby, so I didn't mind the time commitment, and we were really tight on money and I like to have a full pantry and never feel stingy on food, so it was worth the effort to me at the time. I pretty much was able to purchase cleaning supplies and basic sanitary paper goods insanely cheaply or for free, so you can get that part of your budget down to a few dollars a month if you need to. I'm not sure if couponing is as effective now, but if it is, I could feed my family healthily and pleasantly on 50/wk if I had to. At 100/wk, it was actually easy, even when still buying all the expensive produce and meats that we like to eat. Also, it takes a couple months to build up your pantry and cleaning supplies, etc, so those first couple months it'd be much harder and much less effective to stay to a super low budget. I'd say 100/wk for 2 months of serious couponing and THEN it'd be much easier to cut back to 70/wk, because you'd already have a year's worth of cleaning supplies and paper products on hand (except maybe TP, which I was never able to get much cheaper than 50c/4 pack, and I'd only be able to buy maybe 3 months supply at a time due to the limit of coupons available). Anyway, once you've got a good supply of staples built up, then you just need to buy whatever is the week's BEST deals (along with your perishables), and so it becomes much easier to stick to a low budget. Although my crazy couponing days are in the rearview mirror, the one habit we've retained that is VERY helpful on keeping our grocery expenses reasonable is really, really stocking up when staples are on great sales. Even without couponing, you can get most basics nearly half price on the occasional great deals. When canned corn is on sale for 50c, I might buy 20 cans. When cereals are on a great (say half price) sale, we buy 20-30 boxes at a time. Same with pasta. Etc. Makes a huge difference in our overall expenses. Just paying attention to what your "normal" vs "good" vs "great" prices are for your larger grocery expenses and buying more when it's a good deal makes a huge difference. I.e., if peanut butter is on my shopping list, I will buy one jar if it's a normal price, maybe 2 months worth (2 jars) if it's a good price, but if it's a great price, I might buy 6-12 months worth. Also, if I happen to notice peanut butter is on a great sale, I'll buy a bunch even if it's not on my list.

First . . . All the academics your kid needs to learn at age 4-5 is how to read and elementary arithmetic. IMHO. For the good of all that is holy, please give yourself and your kid a break and don't "do" Kindergarten. Just make sure he learns to read and do basic arithmetic and is a happy and nice kid. Second . . . I sort of tried to slow down my kids' accelerated learning by broadening their education. In early elementary, they were studying an instrument seriously (suzuki violin beginning around age 2-3) and by age 6 each had added a second serious instrument (harp, guitar, piano respectively). They were each learning both Latin and Spanish as well. Lots of science. Hobbies and social things (scouts, church, book club, etc.) They all did lots of art studies. Pets. Sleepovers. Kid stuff. Third . . . Despite all that, and likely also because of it, they were each always very accelerated in traditional academic subjects. Worked fine for us, but we did stick with homeschooling. Integrating back into a mainstream school with a highly gifted child who is academically advanced is going to be hard. Given the choice between dumbing down my kid vs smartening up that kid's academic environment . . . was an easy choice for me.

Sounds to me like you're basing your current and future policy on the funky timing/ lack of clarity with your niece's graduation. Personally, I'd likely go ahead and send a card and check to your niece, your nephew, and any future friends/relatives who you feel close enough to that you'd want to go if you could and are happy to share in their celebration. Sounds like you can afford the gifts and you'd likely enjoy knowing your loved ones are receiving them. So, do it! Generosity is rarely a mistake. I am 100% confident that your niece won't mind a "late" gift. I'd write in the card something like, "I'm sorry this is a bit late! I'm so happy for you!" and not worry about it. She'll know (as will everyone else) the backstory and it won't be a surprise. If anyone could take offense, then they're just weird, so I wouldn't sweat it. I'd mail the niece's card/check a few days or more before you mail the one for your nephew . . . just to make sure the "word gets out" that your niece got a gift no later than when the "word gets out" that your nephew does. That said, I don't think you are obligated to do any gifts or even cards. It is nice, though, and being generous is one of the sweeter aspects of having a little money to spare, and given that you're clearly generous with your relatives, you may as well enjoy the sweetness . . .

I wouldn't force or bribe. I would schedule to go to the beach for 4-6 hours twice a week from here on out. Your kids are young enough to be forced along for a "fun" family outing. Bring plenty of snacks, trashy food, trashy drinks, umbrellas, fun sand toys and a few floaty things. If they get wet, fine. If not, fine. They can play frisbee or football on the beach all day or dig to the center of the earth and bury their younger siblings. Sand castle contests. Learn to make "drip" castles as that requires being fairly near the ocean for water. ? Be sure YOU and any of your mom friends who you can bring along or Dad if he's free gets wet, has fun swimming and/or body surfing . . . (designating another adult or teen to supervise the kids who are left on the beach and prohibiting them from getting in past their ankles until an adult is on hand). You have fun. Your kids will have fun in the sand if they don't get wet. Most likely (90% chance, is my bet) all or at least most of your kids will be having a blast in the water soon enough. Be sure to make the outings FUN. Crappy food. Ice cream stops on the way home or for a break if there's a boardwalk. No hassles. Just fun. If a kid wants to read under an umbrella all day, fine -- serve them chips and soda . . . I would probably prohibit electronics except for cameras, just to minimize the chance that a kid will simply zone out on Instagram or Netflix all day and increase the attractiveness of active fun. My bet is that if you just do that twice a week for the summer, your kids will be in the water within a few weeks. If not all of them, most of them. At the end of the summer, if any of the kids are still afraid of the water, I'd schedule them individual therapy appointments with a good therapist who should be able to fix that quickly.

My DR friends have advised me that soap/water/hygiene is your best friend with MRSA. If it were me, I'd take whatever antibiotics they prescribe . . . load up on probiotics . . . And: + Single use towels ONLY. Launder your own bedding and towels after every use. Keep the wound/site covered and wash everything thoroughly as frequently as humanly possible. + Whole house -- wash towels daily. Replace all hand towels with paper towel rolls. Wash bedding as frequently as feasible. Wash, wash. + For the MRSA person -- only use one bathroom, and clean it every day. Go nuts with soap and water. + Wash wound and surrounding areas with soap and water as frequently as allowed by DR. + Keep wound area isolated/covered all the time! + Consider using honey wrap/bandaging if not prohibited by your DR. It's magic and nothing is resistant to it, so far as I know. + Keep your hands out of your nose and away from any other sensitive area. Wash like crazy. + Assume all your bodily fluids are MRSA contaminated. Keep them away from other people and especially away from wounds/scratches/noses/eyes/mouth.

I can imagine this is correct for some mental disorders. I have no reason to think the OP's daughter is mentally ill. I don't think it's unreasonable or abnormal for any person, no matter their age, to crave approval from their parent and to be distressed by parental criticism. I also don't think it's healthy to regularly criticize your children, no matter their age. I certainly think that parental criticism of adult children should be reserved for rare circumstances of dangerous or truly immoral behaviors. I also think relationships and human beings thrive under nurturing and supportive relationships, not critical ones. Most of us moms tend to err towards too much criticism, whereas most adults still crave parental approval and suffer from the lack of parental expression of that approval. I find it really sad.

Clearly, allergist/medical advice is needed . . . That said . . . Easy ($): HEPA filter in his bedroom 24/7. Wash his bedding frequently, including any/all blankets/pillows/stuffed animals/etc. Remove extra dust-catchers from bedroom Get dust mite covers for his mattress & pillows Stop sitting on the carpet, lol. (Use clean blanket to cover carpet if wanting to play on floor . . . That's what I did before we got rid of all our carpeting.) Bathe pets frequently Banish pets from bedroom Medium ($$): Have him bathe & wash hair before bed every night, especially if he's been outside or playing with pets, etc. ONLY go to bed (or lounge in bed) with clean hair/body/clothes. Never contaminate the bedding . . . If you do, wash bedding ASAP. Remove all carpeting in bedroom and replace with hard floor. Consider flonase nasal spray and/or daily antihistamine such as Claritin or Zyrtec Whole house HEPA filter on HVAC or a standalone unit ($$$) Harder ($$$): Get rid of all carpeting in entire house. Only hard floors. (This was a miracle in my house . . .)

Well, it sounds to me like your dd craves your approval. Why not just give it to her? Find things you approve of, and gush about them. Change topics to things you approve of. Gush. Stretch your own brain and find ways to approve of things you didn't think you approved of. Gush. Change yourself, and see if your change meets your daughter's need. How awesome would that be? It's really not healthy or good for relationships to criticize others, so this change will be good for YOU, too. ? I'm a believer in the concept that met needs dissipate, while unmet needs tend to become pathological/problematic. So, my guess would be that your dd hasn't gotten enough parental approval for HER. (That doesn't mean YOU did anything wrong, but it does mean there are things YOU can do to help. It may just be her personality quirk, or a relationship need that was unmet in some OTHER relationship with her dad or grandparent or sibling or whoever . . . ) Challenge yourself to go one conversation, then one day, then two days, then a week, without saying ANYTHING critical. Challenge yourself to say 10 praises (with no backhandedness!) in a conversation, etc. Stretch. Grow. I am finding that having adult children requires just as much personal growth as did having little ones! Lots of new ways to grow, lol. I think it's awesome you are so insightful as to recognize this need in your child. Good luck meeting it!

Once, long before cell phones in my life/budget, I was calling dh at his school. (I was pregnant and near due date, it was something important.) He was in his last year of vet school, doing clinical rotations, so I was calling the main vet school hospital. I asked for him by name. The receptionist corrected my pronunciation of his last name -- which, of course, was also my own last name. Very firmly, accentuating the "correct" pronunciation. Then she asked me who was calling. "Stephanie Z-----, his wife." There was a pause, and then the receptionist asked me about the pronunciation and sort of apologized. LOL.

FWIW, it's not a boxed mix, but I loooooove good soups and most of them freeze like a dream. I'd make large batches of good vegan soups and freeze portions. Yesterday, I did leek, asparagus, potato soup and it was divine. There are a million good soup varieties. I think the trick with great veggie soups is great stock, so I always make my own. Including mushrooms and leek tops seems to be the magic for making great vegan stock, IME. Then get some good veggies, blend it all up, and you're golden. In your shoes, I'd make a 8 - 12 quarts at a time and freeze all the extra in pyrex bowls that you can then microwave when desired. (That's what I always do, unless I love it too much and need to eat all the leftovers in a couple days, like last night's soup, lol)

I suggest you buy two copies of a good Wedding Etiquette & Planning book . . . Give one to the other parents and keep one for yourself. Use that to guide you!

My son had medium bad acne with some of the cystic seeming stuff, but not nearly as bad as I see some teens. Nonetheless, the BEST thing we did was go to Accutane sooner rather than later. It's a serious medicine, but it took his skin from icky to baby's butt in a matter of a few months. Gone totally, and now he only gets a zit if he doesn't wash his face for days.

Just remember that cats are carnivores -- obligate carnivores, as in, they can't be healthy without meat, and really have no natural eating of plant materials. But, cats do NOT just eat the flesh of animals. They eat the whole thing, innards, skin, bones . . . Veterinary nutritionists generally hold up mice as the ideal cat food. I think they need to eat 20-30 a day or something insane like that. So, anyway, that's to say that steak/chicken breast/etc isn't going to a complete food for cats. So, if you're giving him more than a little "raw" diet, be sure it is nutritionally balanced for cats. Blech. LOL

What about a law requiring all children under 18 to have the pediatrician do a thorough exam including mental health screening annually if the child is not enrolled in a public brick and mortar school. Public financing for the exams would have to be provided. To me, that's a reasonable requirement for every parent and might catch some of the evil people who use homeschooling freedoms as a cover for abuse. I don't think *homeschoolers* are more likely to abuse, but I do see an elevated risk since they don't have constant contact with mandated reporters (as do B&M schooled kids). It could be really helpful for toddlers/preschool age kids too, to catch problems before they've gone on for years.

I bet that's what'd happen if you just send an over-payment. How about sending a "regular" payment a month ahead of the payoff date, that is equal to double a regular payment (or whatever the last two scheduled payments would be)? That'd presumably be a bit over your ultimate payoff amount since less time to accrue interest. They'll process it and send you a tiny refund, probably. It'd save you the wire fee.

Well, you can probably do whatever you want, but it's probably more hassle to NOT do what they're asking than it would be to DO what they are asking, lol. I've paid off lots of loans over the years (but never a mortgage at the end of it's duration, always mid-stream with a sale or refi), and it's standard to have to call to get the "pay off" amount. That amount would only be good for a few days, under a week in general. Thus the need to expedite payment via wire/whatever. Seems silly at the end of the loan, when your accrued interest is pennies a day or less, so you'd think they could just "eat" the lost or gained few cents per day, but lenders are stupid, and laws can be stupider, so there you go. If I were you, I'd be doing a HAPPY DANCE for paying off the mortgage, and I would be happy to jump through the extra hoops for pay off, as I'd be SO HAPPY!!! Whether or not this is your contractual obligation is probably clear in your loan docs and you'd have to dig them out (the original ones) and have a lawyer help you understand them. That'd be a lot more work than calling for payoff and just getting it wired. It's easy. Your bank will charge you $25 or so, IME. You can go ahead and do the payoff right now or anytime at your convenience, you don't have to wait for the week it's due. I'm so happy for you!!

I roast veggies all the time. They crisp/brown best in a shallow metal pan, not crowded, high heat (450-ish). A jelly roll pan or similar works well. If you like soup (I LOVE SOUP), that's a great way to get tons of veggies. Google up a recipe that you might like, and start cooking. :) My faves are cream-of-anything, which you can make vegan/super low fat/super healthy or you can use a little cream or tons of cream. :) A good vegetable stock is my go-to base, but chicken stock works great, too.

Dogs are sociable animals. It's the rare dog that is happy alone in a yard for more than a few minutes. You need to adapt to your dog's needs to be with her people. Enjoy it. Get over your wish to stash her in the yard. :) She's going to train YOU out of that before you train HER into it. :)

My house is well lit on all levels, but that is mostly because it has tons of well places windows and only has window coverings on a couple windows that face the front yard. Most of our windows face south-isa (best light) and the back yard, which is entirely private, so we don't have window coverings on those windows. We also have tons of high quality LED lighting, which allows us to make it light and bright even if the sun isn't shining. Intelligently placed windows are the answer, IMHO.

I can't see why not. All you do is cut a hole in the roof. Should be easy enough for your handy husband!

Check out "sun tunnels" for bringing in natural light. They really are amazing.

This is wonderful news!! Yay!! A long term financial option . . . You could build your "dream home" next door after your boys are up and out . . . Then you could keep your current "great deal" house and turn it into a rental. Maximum bedrooms is always a good money maker for rentals. Living next door will make it easy to manage. Great source of retirement income . . . and you can cash it out "whenever". Consider current tax laws when you sell it, as if you'll have a big profit on sale, it might be worth making sure you retain your qualification for primary home sale tax exclusion.

Because these laws are variable state to state, I can't know what the laws exactly are in your area . . . That said, Doctors TRUMP Pharmacists. Your mom's doctor can likely find her a pharmacist who will fill her RX. Call (and call again and again) her doctor until you get it resolved. There may be a state law involved, in which case, the doctor will know how to get around it. I'm so sorry this is happening to your mom. It's tragic and ridiculous and awful. (This is why when I get narcotics RX filled, I hoard them forever . . . because you really can't rely on being able to get an RX when you need it. I do have a drug safe to secure them. This is all very ridiculous, but it is what it is.)