Our local town did exactly the same thing this winter!! We 100% turned over the city council!!! All 7 were replaced by progressives!! Lots of exciting change!! I participated in that process, even though we live in the boonies and so can't vote in that election . . . The same groups that found all those progressives to run in each ward are now working the same process to find candidates for all state offices . . . which is how I got into this mess, lol. Thanks for so much great and specific advice! All excellent!

Oh, I'm sure I'll benefit from a campaign manager. We'll see if one pops up, though, lol.

Yah, that's a great resource. I've already stalked it a lot! You can actually see the donors for every candidate, etc. as well as the dollar figures. I'm thinking 30-50k will be my goal, as recent elections have raised about 30-40k for this office. It's mostly going to be shoe leather game, I think, which will be a lot of shoe leather in my very rural district!

In my case, the only reason I'm running is because there is only one candidate, in the opposite party, currently running, and so I'd be the only "other" candidate in my party. I'd be the only one on the primary ballot for my party, and the incumbent will be the only candidate in his primary . . . There are only 34 state Senators in WV (17 districts, 4 year terms, half elected each 2 years), so my party is recruiting candidates for all the offices currently held by the opposing party, so that no opposing party incumbent runs unopposed. So, anyway, nobody has stepped up to run for this district yet, which is how I got myself into this mess, lol. I don't want to be a politician . . . but I do want my state to have better governance, so, I'll step up and run . . . because nobody else is, lol. I'm in the right loops/channels/secret FB groups to know who else is running, and that's how I got into this mess . . . Just today I posted another "Are you sure nobody else is running?" posts, lol. I mean, I've practically begged folks to run, but there just aren't that many folks who can and will run, given the economic/career sacrifices and general messiness of being in politics. So, I wouldn't be stepping on anyone's toes, because the only other candidate is the opposing party. Also, in my case, our state has a serious problem with *both major parties* being pretty much owned by corporate interests, in particular out of state big money / extraction industries while also having our relatively very poor population very neglected and basic state needs not being met (our governor just called in the National Guard to act as jail guards because our state pays its CO's so poorly and treats them so badly that they can't keep staffed . . . etc etc) . . . So, in my party, there is a grass roots movement to represent the "little guys" . . . and I'd be pretty much running as a "People, not Politics" candidate. (That's my current working slogan, lol.)

Just curious and looking for insights . . . Have any of y'all run for office? How did it go? What are your reflections on your experiences? I'm about to take the plunge and run for our state senate . . . Will declare next week unless some other great progressive jumps up and agrees to run for our district before then . . . This wasn't *ever* something I even fathomed doing (being introverted, homebody, and hating the bullshit most politicians spout constantly), but if I don't (or someone else doesn't) do it, then the "other" party will be running unopposed, and I can't let that stand (which is how I got into this craziness, as my party was spreading lists of offices that didn't have anyone declared to run yet.) All major party candidates have to declare during January, so there's a very limited window . . . sort of now or never for 2018 . . . We live "in the boonies", so most of my like-minded friends live in town in another district, so recruiting a progressive to run in my district isn't easy . . . and somehow, I sort of agreed to do this. :huh: Now that I've been thinking on it for a week or so, my ideas are starting to gel, and I'm getting more enthused. There are so many important issues, and our state legislature is a true and certain shit show in recent years, so decent people *must* step up to change things . . . So, well, here I am. Working on my position statements and political biography, etc. And trying to decide what I should do with my super duper long henna-red hair . . . to make it more professional looking. :confused1: (I tried a low side bun yesterday, and that looked pretty good. I'd really rather not cut it all off, as dh really likes it long, and so do I.) Tomorrow, I go to a day long candidate training by my party, and two friends are coming along to do the activist/volunteer track while I do the candidate track . . . If I actually got elected (long shot, minority party, but who knows, and I'll do my best), then it'll mean a couple months away from home each winter, plus more weeks here and there throughout the year, etc. It pays, but really poorly, so I can't see how the vast majority of professional folks could possibly do this, as if you had a career you couldn't step away from for most of the winter plus additional weeks each year, you couldn't do it. Or if you had little kids, no way. So, anyway, that really narrows the pool of competent people who are able/willing to do this, so, here I am . . . as I *could* do it . . . Anyway, I was wondering if any of y'all have ever done this and what your experiences were/are. ps. Keeping this non-political, more civics, so let's not start arguing politics, OK, as I'd rather not have this locked.

Do you routinely use good fans (that actually vent to the outside) in bathrooms and kitchen? A tight house really requires using a good exhaust fan whenever bathing/showering/cooking. Otherwise, that lovely moisture goes into the air . . . When we remodeled a couple years ago, the new fans we put in are WAY better than the old ones. Two baths have "old" fans in them and the other 4 are new, and, man, the new fans are a million times better. You can get a great bathroom fan for about $100 or so, and it's an easy DIY project. Kitchen fans are another matter and more of a project, but compared to the cost of new windows, a new good kitchen fan is cheap, lol. Be sure you run the fan whenever you are cooking, not only when it's stinky. You can get timer type wall switches for your bathroom fans if compliance is an issue . . . Alternately, you can hook the fan into the light so folks have no choice but to run the fan if they want a light. A timer is ideal since you ideally want to run the fan for 10-15 min after you finish showering/bathing to fully exhaust all the moist air. Also, check if you have a humidifier on your furnace that is mis-set. (Setting should be quite low, google it up if applicable.) Also, run your furnace fan "ON" instead of "AUTO" to keep air circulating, thus moving moisture away from the windows . . . That's easy, nearly free, and is "best practices" year round from what I've been told. (We do this all year.) Last thing to do (or first thing if it's a rental, lol) is to go ahead and use a dehumidifier. We run one in our basement 24/7365. For 200-400 bucks, you can get a good one that will last for several years.

I'd suggest finding a service to do it and having your in-laws pay for it. You could even just "leave it be" and let the city notify them of any issues . . . or maybe a kindly neighbor will just take over when they notice it being neglected. One idea I might try if I were you would be to bake up a bunch of cookies, package plates of cookies for every neighbor on the block, and then deliver them in person. Chat up the neighbors as you drop them off and ask each neighbor if they know of anyone in the neighborhood who might be willing to handle snow removal for your in-laws. Have a price in mind (say $10 per snow if it'll take under 30 min each time) and provide your address/number/name for billing. Then just pay for it and have your in-laws reimburse you. Or pay for it yourself and stop giving any gifts of value to your brothers-in-law . . . I'd imagine that in many neighborhoods, there's a great chance that one or more neighbors will jump up to do it for free if they know there is a need. In my 20s, dh and I lived next door to a newly widowed elderly lady. We were friends already (including before her husband died). Every snow storm (frequent, we lived in Utah), we'd shovel her drive and walkway first . . . before even doing our own. Sometimes, we were "beat out" by other neighbors with similar priorities. That lasted the three winters we lived there, and I'm sure the other neighbors stepped it up when we moved away. (We similarly handled leaf removal and mowing . . . but we had *tiny* yards, so this was all pretty quick work, especially since we were young, strong, and childless, lol) Helping out Georgia was an honor and a pleasure, and I'd imagine many others would feel similarly, so definitely make nice with the neighbors. (I'd include a note/card with your contact info along with the cookies . . . as it can be *very* helpful if others are looking out for your in-laws.)

Pink goes with anything. My face is pink, lol, so that's what I am going with. For many years, I had a favorite pair of green Birkenstocks. I wore them with *anything* arguing that they were the color of grass, so they go with anything, lol. Besides the fact that I'd argue that (soft) pink goes with anything, I'd also argue that hats don't have to match anything unless you're going for a fashion shoot or to a formal event, and also that pink looks particularly pretty with both brown and green. So, according to me, you're good to go!

Hard as Hoof really does help them grow and heal . . . It's a simple and thick cream. About $6-8 or so at Walmart or Amazon and lasts a loooong time. My son is a guitarist, and classical guitarists play with their nails, so having strong, long nails (on the right hand) that will grow is imperative, and his super-elite level teachers recommended it years ago, and it really did/does work. Now, the whole family is addicted. I put it in everyone's stockings every year. https://www.amazon.com/Strengthening-Coconut-Strengthener-Conditioning-Strengthens/dp/B005HGWGVS/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1514992675&sr=8-2&keywords=hard+as+hoof FWIW, for me, it works great . . . as long as I don't use polish. As I said in the other thread, if I use polish, my nails get destroyed quickly. I'll be watching here for more ideas on that problem. :)

Well, based on my experience, I'd get him to a sleep doctor NOW. I regret that I didn't do that when ds was in high school. I kept thinking it was behavioral and he'd get over it . . . Nope, went off to college, did great except sometimes he slept through classes and even exams. Brought him home, got him to sleep doctor, will start again next fall. Wish we'd taken it as a serious medical issue sooner . . .

The waking up part is always the hard part. I mean, who'd mind being up all night if you could spring out of bed and go at it for 20 hours? My advice in the other thread was directly aimed at the critical problem of waking up. Since you are "awake" but not "UP" at a pretty early time, I'd put a 10,000 LUX light by your bed and turn it on as soon as you wake up, dozing in and out with 10,000 LUX helping you become more wakeful and helping to regulate your body for the next 24 hours. It can work even if your eyes are closed as long as you are facing in the direction of the lamp, as the rays can go through your eyelids. And, do everything else I wrote up in the other thread. Literally, this is the exact problem we went to the sleep doctor for. Delayed Phase Sleep Disorder includes all sorts of hormonal and other biological variations from the norm. Normal bodies do certain things that regulate their circadian rhythm. Melatonin, other hormones, body temperature . . . all vary on a 24 hour clock that "tells you" when to be wakeful and when not to be. The first night ds tried the 5PM tiny dose of melatonin, he crashed asleep by 9PM and then "just woke up!! at 7AM. He was perplexed, lol. And very encouraged, as was I.

:willy_nilly: You. Are. So. Patient. I like you more every day.

FWIW, my nails are and always have been weak, thin, and prone to being short. I have never done fake nails, but I've enjoyed professional and DIY mani/pedis at times. I love the way they look all neat and tidy and polished. BUT, without fail, after a couple of weeks to a month or two of having my nails painted and pretty . . . they get super weak and terrible and end up super short. *IF* I can totally leave them alone for a few months, they'll start growing longer and looking good naked. They are at this point right now. That's when I inevitably think of how pretty they'd look pink or red or blue . . . and then I polish them . . . and soon enough they are wrecked. I've bought every variety of polish and base coat, etc, over the years . . . but no matter what I use, this is what happens. So, anyway, *maybe* if you leave them totally alone for a couple months they'll strengthen like mine do and look better.

I already have a mightily heavily ornamented tree, especially since my mom passed away and so I inherited all her ornaments. . . I figure that by the time my kids have their own trees, I'll enjoy spending time visiting them . . . and hope to not too long after start decorating all our trees with grand baby ornaments, and then after that, hope to be on the receiving end of grandkid-made ornaments, too. So, I'll pass along "their ornaments" when they want them . . . as long as that comes with a standing invite to visit them for the holidays!!

Bummer. I'd be perturbed. I'd ask her not to work on the puzzle w/o you. When Mom had Alzheimer's, and was living with us, I bought her these pricy large-piece and high quality puzzles. 100-200 pieces (fewer as her dementia advanced, we probably bought at least 20 over 6 months). They'd be like $15-20 each, so not cheap, and Mom never wanted to work a puzzle she'd already worked previously (and her memory was still good enough to remember she'd worked a certain puzzle before.... by the time it got bad enough I could have gotten away with recycling puzzles, she'd lost interest in puzzles). So, they were one-time-use puzzles. With a helper, one puzzle would keep her entertained for several hours over several sessions, so long as the helper was being reasonable about not SOLVING THE WHOLE DAMN PUZZLE in a few minutes. Ideal helper would "act like" I/they was/were working on the puzzle by periodically actually placing a piece or two, but mainly rearranging the undone pieces making it easier for Mom to find matches and just being companionable. I.e., put similar pieces together . . . find the ones she's working on and put them near her hand, etc. I.e., just like you'd help a 4 year old work a tricky-for-them puzzle... Not rocket science. Meanwhile, I had various hired helpers to keep Mom company, entertained, and safe. One helper came and would work the whole damn puzzle in under an hour, not only "wasting" Mom's puzzle but also discouraging Mom as the pieces so rapidly disappeared and it made her feel slow/stupid. I fired her. (I gladly taught hired helpers a great deal about dementia care, but if you're stupid enough to place 20 pieces a minute while your employer/patient maybe gets one piece in 2 minutes, and is clearly losing interest and having no fun with you . . . then, you're just too stupid to bother to teach. Good God.) It was very satisfying, and I usually **hate** firing people. Not that time. Nobody makes my momma feel stupid or uses her toys. Especially not a somebody who was on the damn clock! (RIP, Mom. Wish she was here to work puzzles with.)

As are we who live here, lol... :huh:

Personally, I'd drop it. I'd consider the money gone, and I'd remember that in the future. (I wouldn't advance her money again, ever. If I wanted/needed to advance her money . . . I'd only do it via my own child . . .I.e., "Oh, sure why don't your spouse and I go in together for this cool pricey gift you want!") Any future money I gave her I'd consider a gift and good and gone once it left my hands. I don't lend/advance money to friends or family (or employees) that I can't afford to forget about. This would be disappointing to me, and it'd hurt to be "stung" by a close family member, but, I'd let it go. (And, yes, I've BTDT, with an employee, years ago . . . and I did let it go. . . After a few weeks of not being repaid and some reminders, I just took her aside and told her to forget the loan and consider it a gift . . . and even though she hasn't worked for us in many years, I've still given her and her family money since then upon various requests . . . but as gifts, not loans.) A good relationship with your DIL is priceless. Much, much more valuable than any amount of money you spend on gifts. I wouldn't risk it. Period. (Until/unless I had to in order to protect something much more important than this.) This problem behavior of hers will likely cause future problems for her and your child (her spouse), and that'd worry me, but there's nothing I can think of that you can do about it, so I'd put it in that "not-my-circus-not-my-monkeys" category and try my best not to think about it further. I'd hope that my own kid was responsible enough to eventually figure out that s/he needed to be very involved in all financial affairs . . . If she goes to repay you in the future, I'd gladly accept the repayment and be glad for the good sign in her personal financial/responsibility development (and act like I'd forgotten about the loan, but was so glad she remembered!) . . . but I'd try to still stick with my (unstated to others outside of my spouse) policies of not advancing her money that I couldn't comfortably consider a gift and "forget" about as soon as the money left my hands.

Returning from breaks is *the very worst*. (((hugs)))

Ah hah, you're from Canada? Another reason Canada should annex the United States. I'd vote for it, lol. Please start the movement, and aim for annexing WV ASAP. ;) If I'm guessing correctly that you're familiar with the Canadian labor laws and legal norms . . . but not those in the US . . . I rest my case, lol. I also warn you that our health care system here in the US is nothing like that in Canada either. Don't advice sick Americans to just find a doctor and be treated . . . Well, you could, but you better have your Gold Card with you, lol, and be ready to face bankruptcy. Canada and the USA . . . So close, and yet so far . . .

Where again have you worked and lived? I must have missed your reply to that query. Dh and I own a business in the USA (for the last 13+ years) and we employ about a dozen people, and we have a business lawyer who we consult as needed . . . and IME as an employer as well as my (extensive) exposure to general employment law issues (as that's part of my role at our business), I can not imagine any US state where your advice would be helpful in OP's situation. Even in CA (by far the most pro-employee state in these matters), I can't fathom it being worth it to seek legal counsel for the termination OP describes. I don't disagree that many employers break employment laws. I just disagree that seeking legal counsel would be beneficial in this particular situation. Reasons why I think a lawyer would be a bad idea for OP:: 1) It's likely a tiny employer. Tiny employers are not subject to the vast majority of labor laws. (Rare exceptions generally only being for things like protected class . . . i.e, if you were fired -- or not hired -- for race/religion/family/veteran status . . .) Even ADA doesn't apply to tiny employers. 2) OP worked PT in a low wage role. So, total dollars "lost" due to termination are going to be very small relative to legal costs. 3) Most US states are pretty much "right to work" (which really means "right to fire for nearly any reason"). These right to work laws (largely promulgated in recent decades by GOP state legislatures, FYI), make it very, very hard to be successful disputing a termination. 4) Lawyers require payment. Either OP would have to risk thousands of her own dollars or find a lawyer who is so confident of success that s/he is willing to take the case on a percentage. Even cases taken on a percentage typically require the client to pay for SUBSTANTIAL OOP "costs" such as $1/page copy costs, $300/hr experts, etc. It's very easy to rack up 10s of thousands of fees. I think it'd be nuts for OP to risk any legal costs on such a poor case, and I'd guess that any lawyer who would accept the case would be a crappy lawyer who is likely just to run up billable fees against OP, leaving her in much worse shape. 5) OP's former employer will be MAD AS A HORNET, and that's not good for recommendations and/or just OP's reputation, so will hurt OP's chances for good future employment. Claiming unemployment could very well be helpful to OP (although this varies hugely state to state). I'd encourage her to go ahead and file ASAP (like, today). She has been "constructively" fired, and she should be able to get unemployment compensation (although it will be low since she hasn't worked a lot of hours in recent months. . . That may well have been part of the employers plan . . . by keeping her on the payroll technically, but not giving her hours, OP will be eligible for lower unemployment compensation, likely making it not worthwhile for OP to follow through on the claim process). But a lawyer isn't needed (or even helpful) for unemployment. The actual legal system / getting a lawyer would be a huge waste of time and money for OP. And it'd most likely just add to her disappointment and hurt, and *nearly certainly* result in substantial costs to OP with no compensation/win. Additionally, she'll anger her former employer, eliminating any hope of future employment or decent references, likely resulting in her having fewer good options for future employment. Most (all decent?) lawyers would not even take the case, as there's really nothing there there.

Oh, gosh, I think you need a new easy to use vacuum that is better for hard floors!!

I own that exact mop (and a couple other similar ones) and it works just fine for catching modest amounts of dust/fur/etc. It won't grab gritty stuff, though. We use them on wood floors with Bona Floor Cleaner. It'd probably work about as well with a fine spray of water, though. In my dirty/furry/hairy home, we have to vacuum first unless the floors are cleaned at least daily. IME, these sorts of dust mops clean *better* (and much more environmentally friendly and cheaper) than a Swiffer but similarly, and have the similar weakness of not being able to pick up large quantities of stuff at once and also missing gritty/sandy type dirt. Primarily, I use/used this sort of mop to *clean* the hardwood floors (with a good bit of elbow grease -- sort of like washing grimy windows with Windex and a rag) *after* vacuuming up the "tumbleweeds" of hair/fur and the cat litter tracked in the laundry room, etc. If you have a cleaner-than-mine household, though, daily dust mopping with it might replace most/all vacuuming. For just mopping dust, it's super easy and WAY faster and easier than vacuuming, etc. When you're having to use elbow grease to scrub at drips/spots/etc on the floor with a spray cleaner (as I generally used it), then it's a good bit of work . . . (And I thank the stars for the day I impulse-bought a steam mop . . . as it is sooooo much less work.) I definitely think these types of washable flat mops are a million times better than Swiffers, FWIW.

Gosh, where do you live and what sort of businesses do you work in? In the businesses I've worked in and states I've lived in (and managed HR/staff in), I don't think this would be helpful or productive. At all. That said, I'm very sorry about this situation. How discouraging and upsetting. That really, really stinks. Sounds like the employer just has a stick up her butt for some reason -- and like she's not a very good manager. My guess would be that you did nothing wrong. Might be a political or other difference of opinion that she became aware of and was really peeved about, or a total misunderstanding, or just something random that has nothing to do with you. Re-entering the workforce after taking time off for family needs is hard enough. This would be a punch in the gut to me. I hope you find a GREAT, SUPER AWESOME EVEN BETTER job in place of this one quickly. I think either of your approaches sounds good. It's always a good idea (for you) to leave things on as positive a note as possible. (((hugs)))

FWIW, we have a Roomba and it is AWESOME for getting under furniture. Since we have no carpeting -- which is the BEST THING EVER (except one area rug in the music room where no pets and no shoes go, so low maintenance) and gazillions of hairy pets and long-haired people, we get a lot of those lovely fur/hair tumbleweeds under furniture. Letting the roomba keep at it daily makes an immense difference. It goes under stuff so thoroughly that it really cuts down on those tumbleweeds and makes the thorough canister vacuuming (with a proper hardwood floor attachment) much faster and easier. So, anyway, that's my suggestion. Get a roomba to help out. :)

(((hugs))) IMHO, you are doing just great. Your kid is an adult, and it's no longer your job to control what she does. This is a difficult reality to adjust to, as I know well! At the end of the day, marriages succeed or fail at all sorts of ages and life stages . . . No guarantees for anyone, anytime. You've done your best to guide your kid, and now she gets to fly. All you can do is keep loving and mothering her -- as an adult -- the best you can. You'll figure it out. You're leading with love, and that's all any of us can do. Keep loving your kids, keep being supportive, keep hoping for the best, and tell the KnowItAlls to pound sand. Politely. Or, just ask them to pass the bean dip.