Well, being bald is rarely by choice, and that doesn't make it attractive (to many people). Being really short or really tall is similarly out of one's control, but many women think taller men are more attractive and shorter women are more attractive. Much of human attractiveness is not by choice. It is what it is. I think weight gets so much of our focus because it is one of the few major attractiveness characteristics that 1) is at least somewhat controllable and 2) can be a LOT OF WORK to achieve for SOME of us. and 3) is very variable both within a person's lifetime and among the populations. I mean, I'd much rather be with a fat fellow than one who smells bad. And I'd rather be with a hugely fat man that one who is mean. There are much uglier things in life than being fat. That doesn't mean being fat is pretty. Most of us celebrate it and like how we look when we lose weight (unless we're talking the other end of the spectrum and being unhealthily thin).

For his third/Destinos year, is all he used Destinos? How did he find it? My dd is doing 3rd/4th-ish year Spanish this year, and we're making it up as she's already completed all the high school level Spanish stuff I used with her older siblings (Galore Park levels 1-3, they don't make a level 4, unfortunately, lol). Anyway, this year, she's watching Destinos (a couple episodes a week), doing iTalki (an hour a week), and messing about with Duolingo (the rest of the time, so a couple hours a week). . . as a "Spanish 3/4" year (not sure which I'll call it, lol, depends on what we do for her next year or if she CLEPs out of it at year end). So, anyway, I'm curious how he found Destinos and what he used other than/in addition to it? So far, dd has just watched maybe 11 episodes, and so far, the exercises haven't had any new info, so she's not spending much time on those (yet). I'm wondering if it ramps up at all? Or what "level" you found it? Thanks!

I have an 800 series one. I love, love it. The new style all-rubber beater bars don't collect hair like the old style ones. I LOVE it. I have a ridiculously large house, so I don't really get hung up on if it makes it back to its base or whatever -- I just relocate it as needed. I just love that it vacuums for me. The only caveat is keeping stuff off the floor that might get it tangled up or jammed up -- earbuds, socks, random pieces of paper, etc.

Well, I would NOT have him chill the rest of the year academically. I'd put him in classes that can be self-paced, and I'd supervise him very, very closely. My teens have had sulky/don't get things done stages . . . I get how hard it is. I'd put him in therapy ASAP. As intensive and good quality as you can find and afford. Twice a week if possible. I'd do family therapy (separately) as well if feasible. I'd make it my tip top priority to figure out the root of the issues that got him expelled and that led him to failing his classes at home/online as well. I'd drug test him (you can do this at home with tests ordered online), and if he tested positive for anything more than pot, I'd get him to a drug counselor/program ASAP. If he tested positive for only pot, I'd not bother with the rehab/counselor, but I'd still start supervising him much closer (essentially I'd treat it similarly to catching him drinking). I wouldn't try to get him to get a PT job until he was in good therapy for a few weeks and I had some idea WTF was going on with him. I'd confiscate electronics and lock them down . . . I'd allow access for some hour(s) each day at specific time, under my supervision. Say, in the kitchen from 7-8AM and 5-6PM while I cooked and cleaned, or similar. I'd allow more access if/when he was adequately progressing in his schooling. I'd plan to supervise all schoolwork very closely from here on out. If you use online classes, then you'll have to be willing to follow his progress daily, understand the websites, etc. I'd withhold privileges (electronics, etc.) until he had done his day's worth of work properly. I'd offer rewards (allowance? driving?) if he is working adequately. Key is CLOSE SUPERVISION. BTDT, you have to understand his assignments and check them every day . . .

My 2 college kids both CLEP'ed out of Spanish. (11 hours/3 semesters credit for one. 14 hrs/4 semesters for the other.) However, we haven't used DE courses, etc, so I can't really compare . . . What I can remind you is that you can re-CLEP in 3 months. So, what we did was to have the kid take the CLEP, see what happened, and plan to re-CLEP if needed. Neither kid opted to re-CLEP. So, anyway, that's my suggestion. If you think the kid might be reasonably ready, just give it a try. Redo if needed. :)

Agreed 100%. My mom did everything right. Didn't smoke, rarely had a glass of wine, was fit and trim and exercised routinely and ate all the right things. Meditated, did yoga, took classes . . . Ate organics . . . She retired at about age 67 from her legal career and kept up her brain via extensive brain-challenging volunteering as an ombudsman for a nursing home, read and discussed serious literature, took up a musical instruments, traveled the world, etc. She saw good doctors regularly, had her colonoscopies and mammograms and skin checks, took her statin for high cholesterol (genetic, not dietary) and vitamins, did everything every doctor told her to do, and she sought out excellent doctors . . . In fact, it broke my heart a million times when I'd see just how hard she worked to stay healthy and activate her brain. All those stupid things that are supposed to stave off dementia. . . She did them ALL. She tried so damn hard. So, so damn hard. Nonetheless, she began developing dementia around age 70 and full blown ALZ by age 72. Still saw the best doctors and took every best medicine available, and involved her competent adult children in her care as soon as she had her first "positive" diagnosis of early dementia, so I went to every neurologist appointment with her . . . ALZ doesn't spare those who do everything right. Mom died soon after her 76th birthday. Life is unfair. My stable has no room for high horses.

RE: falls. In my situation, after Mom's first stroke, we got her PT and OT and various other services . . . they taught us and her various techniques . . . we installed bed rails and eventually got her a hospital bed . . . and we hired a lot of help to supervise her. In some cases, you need a walker, etc. (My mom didn't need one, but did need to use various helps such as a bed side rail that she could grab/use to help get up from bed safely.) There are a lot of things you can do preventatively for falls . . . We put grab bars all over Mom's bathroom . . . and we also built her shower so it was curbless/just walk in. Her bath tub had grab bars all over the place . . . Supervision/assistance is really helpful, too. For Mom's last many months, she had someone at her side for getting in and out of bed, for using the shower, etc. Mom never had a fall, ever . . . but that was likely largely due to the massive investments of grab bars, intelligent planning, tools/etc, and supervision. We also pushed hard for (and succeeded in getting) tons of PT/OT/etc visits . . . Not only did they teach Mom some things, but I took notes through every visit and had paid helpers also there learning/watching/being taught how to minimize the risk of falls and maximize Mom's mobility and safety. I also spent much time teaching the hired helpers, etc . . . At some point, one often needs 24/7 help. That's $$$$, of course, but it is an option at home if the family has financial resources to hire help or has a large enough family circle to provide the 24/7 supervision on their own. In our situation, we simply used Mom's resources to hire all the help needed . . . After her second fatal stroke, she was bedridden for her last days, and at that time, we went to 24/7 help so she was never alone. (Bed baths, diapers, couldn't eat or even drink substantially, etc.) We also had hospice care for her last couple months (after her first stroke, which was her qualifying event), which provides much more help (for free via Medicare) than is ordinarily available. Hospice will provide bathing assistance. In our case, they came 3x/wk and were responsible for her bathing, as the "normal" aides I could hire outside of hospice (via agencies and also private pay) were not competent to handle the complexities of safely cajoling my stroke-impaired (but still totally mobile) mom to bathe. The people who work via hospice are MUCH MORE competent than anyone you can hire outside hospice, IME. So, I'd encourage anyone to advocate for hospice as soon as possible, and then to work closely to maximize services via hospice. Hospice also allowed us to access IN HOME PT and OT, etc, which was invaluable in maximizing her quality of life in her last months (before her second fatal stroke).

What is t/j? I started a s/o because I didn't want to aggravate others or distract from their discussion. The intention of a s/o thread, I think, is to continue a related but not directly relevant discussion. For instance, I wanted to talk about the general attitudes towards care giving for our elders, which was only tangentially related to the original thread that touched on that topic. The s/o brings more focus to a specific topic/tangent that someone wants to discuss.

Thank you to so many who have shared your stories and your support. This is such a fraught issue. I appreciate hearing your thoughts. I won't rehash things I've already clearly expressed, but let me add and clarify some things. I 100% agree with those who point out the physical burden and financial struggles of care giving. I do not, AT ALL, think that we or our families should have to sacrifice our health and well being to care giving. I believe that there should be societal and governmental support for this sort of caregiving. Medicaid/federal gov't pays for the vast majority of nursing home care, and I think that the government should provide support to home caregivers, too. Other countries have programs that provide respite care, visiting caregivers/bathing assistants, practical helps such as lifts/etc. Likewise, our church communities and extended family members can and should extend themselves to support those on the front lines. Church members and old friends should visit and help. So should the "other" siblings, nieces and nephews, etc. Hospice is invaluable and incredibly helpful. If everyone stepped up and helped, these burdens would not be so vast. I also believe that not everyone can do primary caregiving at home for financial or practical reasons, and that's totally understandable. I don't think it *should* be this way often, because I think the world should be a better place (see above), but it *is* this way, and I totally get it. Nonetheless, just because one can't do it all doesn't mean one can't value the doing of it and do what they can. Perhaps this looks like the child who can't do it all providing a few weeks a year of respite assistance for their sibling who *does* do it. (My brother did that for me/my mom.) Perhaps this looks like the child visiting 4 times a week for a couple hours each time. Whatever it looks like, it has value, and if we recognize that value, maybe society will step up and do more. FTR, I used plenty of hired assistance with my mom. We had paid caregivers that assisted us. I (she -- her money) paid people to take her to yoga class, to take her to riding lessons, to take her to lunch, to keep her company, etc. I have no problem with having (excellent, carefully chosen) helpers, just like I had no problem hiring (excellent, carefully chosen) babysitters to help out with my kids. I also hired extensive cleaning and other practical helps during the height of Mom's illness. I made compromises and balanced needs among the many family members . . . It isn't all or nothing. We were very, very fortunate in that Mom and the finances to pay for her own needs and extensive care assistance. If she hadn't had money, our choices would have been much starker, and it would have been very, very difficult. I was and am very thankful that her money made things so much easier on us then they could have been. *That is not right.* No one should have lesser care because they have lesser money. Then again, my own mom's mom had no money, but that didn't stop my mom (and her sister) from providing excellent love and caregiving to their own mom. Grandma was in a nursing home for her last decade. She had no money, and both her daughters worked FT and had to do so, so living with one of them wasn't an option. But, my mom visited her *every day* and brought her to her own home for the day/evening for a full day each weekend and every single holiday. Mom's sister did similar, but slacked off somewhat after a few years to about half-speed. They did that while raising kids and working FT. They *did what they could* and it wasn't what I was able to do for my own mom, but it was what they could do and they valued it and did their best. My plea/argument is not so much that each of us must/should do all (or even most) of the physical or other care for our elders or that we have an obligation to sacrifice x/y/z on the altar of our parent, but that there *is value* in doing that caregiving. That it is meaningful and valuable, and that society and we ourselves should recognize the value and support it. OK, I gotta' go teach biology and literature all day . . . Thank you for having this conversation with me.

I find it really surprising how widespread the attitude is that care taking for an elder relative is a burden and will ruin your life/family/marriage/kids/etc. I've heard it over and over and over, especially when I was actively doing that for my mom . . . It still shocks and confuses me when I hear it, especially in a homeschooling forum, presumably populated mostly by parents who are clearly pretty driven to *personally* take great care of their kids and make sacrifices to do that . . . Why is the care taking of our elders so denigrated when the caregiving of our kids and spouses is so revered? I understand that care taking for our elders can be a burden financially and practically. I understand that if your elders were assholes and/or grossly irresponsible financially or otherwise, that it's not "fair" for their care to fall on you . . . But, let's say we take off the table parents/elders who've been hateful/evil and/or grossly irresponsible . . . Let's just give everyone permission to kick those folks to the curb and leave them to fend for themselves . . . Fine. I'm *not talking* about the abusive parents, the ones who ran through millions on diamonds and furs and saved not a nickel for retirement, the ones who are just mean/awful to you or your family . . . I'm not talking about those folks . . . . . . and so, now we're just talking about ordinary, decent, loving, did the best they could elders/parents along with some fantastic, were the best thing since sliced bread (like my mom) kinds of parents. Talking just about those good elders in our lives . . . why don't we honor and value the care we, as their youngers, can give? We sooooo value (over value?) the caregiving we give to our own children, and sometimes we also honor and value the caregiving we do for our spouse (or at least we talk a good game about it) . . . But, somehow, reciprocating that loving/adoration/service that our parents gave to us . . . somehow, that's crap? Somehow that's ruining us? What makes us so damn fragile? We're tough enough to homeschool a half dozen (or more) runny nosed kids through their bratty attitudes, slammed doors, and awkward phases, maybe through a drug bust or car wrecks or a teen pregnancy . . . still loving, still serving them . . . and we can honor sticking with a spouse who might have a porn habit or an affair or a bad habit of spending what we don't have . . . But, our elders? Those who loved us through our own failures and held us up when we hurt and put us on the right path when we were heading down the wrong one? The ones we knew we could call on when our husband left or we failed out of school? Those ones? They're somehow a burden? We're too fragile to make some sacrifices to serve *them*? Maybe I'm overly sensitive, being orphaned at age 44 . . . by two parents who really were "all that" and more, as imperfect as they were, they were exactly everything I needed them to be and so much more. But, I really think there is something very wrong with our culture that we're so intently devaluing something that is precious and vital. Taking our turn as the responsible one . . . taking that turn parenting our parents. It's brutally hard, but it's also brutally human. It just is what it is. Helping my mom figure out how to put on her dress was just as human as was suckling my babies. It is just human existence, and it is everything. It made me more of a human being to go through what I went through with Mom. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I miss her every day, not just the mom she was before dementia stole her from me, but also the mom she was when she looked to me as if I were *her* believed parent, the trust and confidence she had in me turned me into someone better and stronger than I was before she *needed* me. So, anyway, I don't get it. I think our culture needs to re-look at the value of being a caretaker of our elders. Maybe this is the next front for feminism, right after we finish reasserting the value of care taking of our own children. Maybe after we abolish preschools and day care centers, we can abolish nursing homes. In my perfect world, no human being would be institutionalized if there was an alternative place where they could be cared for by *people who love them*. What do you think?

I took care of my mom for her last 18 months in my home. I took care of her long distance for the prior 2 years. She didn't ruin my life. It was a blessing and honor to be able to return a small part of the caregiving she gave me and my family during her life. The same goes for my children and my husband, who, like me, made great sacrifices to do what we did, and can now look back on what we did for Mom with comfort of knowing we did all we could to make her last months as beautiful as possible. Be careful how you phrase these sorts of things. It is painful to hear people say things that to my ears call my mother a burden or call my caregiving something that "ruined my life". I heard it loud and clear before I did what I did and during the entire time I did what I did, and still now, after both my parents are long buried, it is painful to hear that. It hurts, just like it'd hurt if (when?) you heard people (over and over) tell you that you staying home with your kids was wasting your life, or you homeschooling would ruin your marriage or your kids' lives. These sorts of decisions are profoundly personal and important. It's important to respect the choices others make. . . and to consider that when you speak/write.

Good grief. Those people are just plain evil along with being just plain stupid. (((hugs)))

OMG, PEP is even more expensive than I'd thought. Insane!! I'm not certain why PEP can't be used for dogs. My guess is that 1) it is crazy expensive and 2) it's not 100% and 3) the protocols just haven't been worked out for animals. If a dog is so unlucky as to have an owner who is too lazy, stupid, or cheap to get them a $20 rabies vaccine, then I'm thinking it's highly unlikely that dog is lucky enough to have an owner who'd be willing to spend thousands to tens of thousands to do PEP for them. So, presumably, this just isn't an area worthy of research, so it's never been explored.

Yup, yup, that's what I was intending to convey. :) Can't vaccinate an unvaccinated and then exposed pet . . .

l live in WV. My husband (vet) and other employees have gotten the vaccines over the years. Vets get them while in vet school (usually free or cheap, often as test subjects, as dh was, lol), then typically get titres done every so many years, often at vet conferences, and boosted as needed. Dh got one a titre done at his PCP at least once, a number of years ago, and hasn't had to be boosted yet (21 years since entering vet school and getting vaccinated). A number of years ago, we paid for some staff members to get their vaccines, and I believe at that time it was ONLY available through the health department. It was around $1000 per person then (ouch), and that was probably 6-8 years ago. I get the impression it's double that (or more) now. Every locale will have different routines. The shots have gotten more and more expensive over the years, and many health departments won't carry them (too expensive) any more. I honestly have no idea how it's done in our locality at the moment. All I know is that we send humans to their doctors/ED/health department and let them figure out what to do, as we are NOT in the human health care business. The health department typically is "in charge" of what to do . . . who actually executes the plan is probably variable both by locality and insurance coverage.

LOL, I got one of those certainly-bulk-generated headhunter type emails recently via LinkedIn. It sort of cracked me up and flattered me at the same time, lol. I imagine your job would be a bit stressful. Sort of like selling but on steroids. That said, working for Google really does sound cool. My CS daughter says Google is known for having really good snacks. The things that kids look for in 6 figure jobs really crack me up, lol. Snacks? Really?

Nope, it doesn't work that way for pets. The post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) you had costs about $2000-3000+ per person. (Health departments might have given it cheap/free, or your insurance might have covered it, but it costs $$$$ to somebody somewhere.) (Even routine pre-exposure rabies vaccine is about $1000 or more for the series.) There is no PEP for pets. It is actually absolutely illegal (as in license losing illegal) for a vet to administer a rabies vaccine to a dog after a bite [ETA: if the dog/victim was not properly vaccinated already]. There are very exacting laws on rabies vaccines, due to the high priority on protecting human life and the fatality risk of rabies. No chances are taken with human life . . . the gamble is that they'll kill and/or isolate for long periods hundreds/thousands of dogs to save a single human exposure/death. It's sad but reasonable given the grave risk of rabies . . . Thus, there are very exacting laws on how to treat a dog who has been bitten by another animal that is potentially rabid . . . If the dog/victim has proof of current vaccination, then they can be assumed to be safe . . . but, if no proof of current vaccination, then they are at risk for having contracted rabies via the bite, and thus, they are now considered a risk to all the humans who might come into contact with them . . . for a relatively long and undetermined period of time . . . as rabies has a variable and inexact incubation period. For pets, if they are not fully up to date on rabies vaccine, and are bit in a rabies endemic area w/ no proof of rabies vaccination on the biter, Animal Control would typically require you to choose between A) euthanasia and decapitation for rabies testing at the state lab or B) quarantine for weeks-to-months. Quarantine rules vary dramatically from place to place. In some places, they may require it to take place at a vet or other professional facility ($$$ and unpleasant for the dog). Other places allow "in home" quarantine with various rules. Whatever the locale, you're looking at hundreds of dollars of expense, minimum. Some locales it can easily be thousands. Some locales it can be quite miserable for the pet/family if the dog must go to a facility for weeks to months of isolation.

My parents are both deceased. I was their caregiver when they needed it. My (only) brother and I shared financial responsibilities as needed, but I was the one who did the hands on work. That was the practical way, as I lived near them and didn't work (for pay) while he lived across the country and works FT. I wanted it that way, and it was the right thing to do. I don't regret a minute. I don't have any additional aging relatives that don't have their own kids and money to take care of themselves as they age. Dh has two parents, both still alive. Dh has 4 siblings, 2 of whom live close to the parents (we don't) and are very involved with their parents. We aren't close to his parents, by his parents' choice and design, as they've always been move involved in their own lives (golfing, etc) than with us and our kids, so we have a distant but cordial relationship. There is no way I'd be involved in day to day care taking of them . . . But, we'd pitch in financially and/or with respite care if they ultimately needed assistance in those ways. They are good people and they raised dh, so we'd do our duty by them if needed, but no way would it be living with or even close to them. There are 5 kids, 3 of whom (us included) are financially solvent/comfortable, and 1 more who is not well off but is stable and responsible and lives in the same neighborhood as the parents do (and #5 is just an ass in addition to not being financially solvent nor responsible) . . . So, anyway, I could imagine the 4 responsible siblings needing to cooperate financially/practically to support one or both of them at some point . . . They have high SS income and some savings/assets, but not a huge amount, so someday, it might run dry, but hopefully there'll be enough to make it fairly easy -- with the good SS income -- for the "solvent" siblings to supplement financially if necessary, especially if the 4th (responsible but pretty limited financial means) sibling was doing a lot of the practical day to day care taking . . .

I'm so sorry. Dh is a vet. . . These sorts of attacks happen *all the time* at dog parks. Idiots take their poorly behaved dogs to dog parks where they terrorize innocent owners and innocent dogs . . . Besides the high risk of a physical attack, there's also incredibly high risks of communicable diseases and parasites at dog parks. You have to assume that the dog park is a veritable petri dish of nasty dog diseases. It is. I guarantee it. We never take our dogs to dog parks, and I never would consider it, ever. We have a large fenced yard, plenty of places to walk on leash, and when we have dogs who enjoy running loose (and can do so safely), we do it on/in low-use trails/wild areas where they will be the only dogs there or occasionally one or two other dogs . . . Folks who take their dogs to places like that and let them off-leash are generally responsible owners with well behaved dogs. In 30 years of taking many different dogs hiking/backpacking/running off leash on trails in dozens of states over many thousands of hours . . . we've never had an incident/fight/attack with another dog, ever. The odds are much in your favor in places like that vs. dog parks. Also, I'd advise carrying pepper spray. It won't seriously injure your dog, but it will end the fight. Then you can go to the vet and get your dog's eyes taken care of. Better than a dead dog or lots or ripping injuries. If you don't want to carry pepper spray, then carrying a big heavy stick (like a pipe or a baseball bat) would be helpful. Personally, I'd kick the shit out of any dog who was attacking my dog (or any other innocent dog). I'd probably get bit in the meantime, but, well, there you go. I'd aim for the chest and head. I guess wearing heavy boots and jeans would make that more safe (for me). Another reason for me not to go to dog parks, I guess. I hope you've already taken your dog to the vet. If not, do it now. Definitely need to get the puncture wounds taken care of properly. Will need antibiotics, for sure. Often times, the punctures are only what you see, and there can be a lot more tissue damage/tearing that you can't see at the surface. Since you don't know the rabies status of the dog who attacked your dog, you will need to discuss that with the vet. As long as your dog is properly vaccinated, it probably won't be a huge big deal. (Although it may be, depending on your local laws/animal control/rabies incidence.) If your dog is even days overdue for rabies vaccination, it will be a huge big deal. In the future, you really want to get the contact info for the owner to get the dog's vaccine status confirmed and also to report the bite so that the proper legal authorities can take appropriate action against the owner. (She'd also be liable for your vet bills, but good luck with that . . .)

I'm also a small-scale landlord. . . I think you're on the right track with paying for hotel fees while there is no heat. That's likely your responsibility. Whatever their bills are, I'd cover them . . . unless they are INSANE, in which case, I'd pay a lawyer before I didn't pay . . . RE: the generator. I doubt you're responsible to keep it working since, as you said, you'd disconnected/disabled it before renting. In fact, I would NOT want to provide a generator at all if you can possibly avoid it, as you'll not only be liable for keeping it working safely, but also for any accident/explosion/fire/CO poisoning/disaster associated with its use. (We have used generators, I get how much of a hassle and life/limb risk they are!) You're probably wise to go ahead and suck it up and contact a lawyer about these issues . . . Just to get comfortable with what your responsibilities are . . .

That's a good idea to file what you can, estimate your taxes, pay them (you probably have already), and then amend it ASAP. The IRS doesn't really give a fig about your returns, IME. They just want their money, lol. At the end of the day, when you file the final, accurate return, you shouldn't owe penalties as long as you gave them the right amount of $$ when it was due. Any penalties/interest is generally assessed just on the money that is late. Either way, it's generally proportional . . . So, if you're just short a few hundred bucks, the penalties wouldn't be very much. If you're nervous, just estimate on the high end, and get a refund later. You should be able to get a copy of your entire tax return from the IRS. I did it decades ago for my dad's tax returns, so I don't know how you'd do it now, but I'm sure there's a way. You might be able to get it really fast electronically now days . . .

12 . . . It's enough so long as the kids don't take things away and lose them in their rooms/basement/etc. So, it was fine until the kids became teens and became more . . . resistant/rebellious to my rules against taking food/dishes out of the kitchen/dining areas. It's still fine for the dishes, as they're large enough to fairly easily find among the kids' rooms/etc. The forks and spoons, however, are seemingly disappearing . . . I think they get thrown away accidentally . . . I've had my set of 12 flatware for about 25 years, and I am now shy on forks and spoons (even though I bought an extra 6 or so of them 5-8 years ago). Anyway, if I were doing it over, I'd get 18-24 of the flatware, and keep 6-12 of them stored "for later" . . . (like I do with cheap glassware, lol).

FWIW, your MIL's situation sounds perfect for a reverse mortgage. They aren't ideal if you don't *need* them, but when you *need* them, they could be perfect. Personally, as I'd never, ever want to live in a facility, I'd much rather reverse mortgage my home to get a few/many more years living independently if I could possibly do so. (Assuming your MIL is otherwise able to live independently safely.) Ideally, if she can qualify for a HELOC, they are (IMHO) a better way to get cash out of a residence . . . but, if she can't qualify for a HELOC, then a reverse mortgage might very well be worth looking into. Of course, research them very carefully and choose wisely, and make sure whatever you/she does won't cause unintended harm. I'd probably spend the $$ to consult with an Elder Care Attorney just to make sure about the consequences of the reverse mortgage before pulling the trigger.

woohoo! You're closing in on completion. That's a tough room, too. File cabinets are kinda' the worst because it takes so much time to look at each paper . . . and/or reorganize . . . So you (I) end up spending a LOT of time per bag of trash/shredding generated. Nicely done!

Today, I got out the leaf blower and blew all the leaves and dirt right out of the garage. Love all those big doors, lol. I kinda' wish I could do that with my kids bedrooms some days, lol. I then took about 30 minutes and totally decluttered the kitchen desk (mainly the storage cupboards above it). It was really pretty easy since I do that every 6 months or so. But, I went deeper this time, because I have a tendency to sometimes, right before folks are coming over . . . to grab all the random papers and just shove them in a pile up in the cupboard. Today, I pulled out all those piles (some were, uh, from 2015 . . .) and go through them. It was really easy since it's been long enough that nearly everything was garbage by now. Bonus: I found $150 cash in an envelope that I'd long forgotten about. Yay!!! That's a serious payday for 30 min decluttering. I was able to re-home some really pretty wood desk paper sorter/stacker things and a lovely basket, too. They'd been in my mom's stuff and I hadn't found a place for them yet. They look perfect up on the shelves above the desk and should help it stay *looking* tidier, even when it gets cluttered. And, my nifty charging station up there is now all cleaned out of the random crud that appeared somehow and now just has chargers/phones/ipad all like it's supposed to be. For a few days, anyway, the desk looks lovely and there's not even mounds of mystery papers behind the closed doors. :) Anyone else have any small victories today?