NYE is always fondue night at our house, so cheese fondue for dinner and chocolate fondue for dessert. Since this year, we're having a rather large (for a fondue night, for us, 14 people) gathering, we're making 2 different cheese fondues (3 pots, good thing I just gave college girl her own fondue pot for Christmas, because we need it tonight) and both chocolate and caramel dessert fondues. Mmmmmm. Appetizers are sausage balls and veggie trays. Drinks are whatever folks want . . . I'm making limoncello + champagne cocktails and Cosmopolitans. Folks who want something else will have choices of wine and various other things or can make whatever they want with whatever they can find, lol. I better get cracking on shredding all that cheese, lol.

If you have room, a baby grand makes a better sound than an upright, and a full size grand makes an even better sound. Space is generally the limiting factor. IME, players don't "need" a grand (or baby grand) until they are close to an advanced level. (Note, you don't want to crowd an overly large piano in a small room . . . or it won't sound right . . . Google up guidelines if that might be an issue.) We got a grand piano (they come in all sizes, and ours is just a foot or so longer than a baby grand) a couple years ago for dd15 (then 13) -- she's a very serious and capable pianist and had already been taking serious lessons for about 6 years at that point. She was "ready" musically to really get value out of a big, fancy piano, and we finally (after an addition) had the space, so we bit the bullet. A friend happened upon it during the course of his work -- a local woman who was selling off most of her possessions (midlife crisis?) including a 40k piano that was only 3 years old and in pristine shape . . . because her ex-boyfriend had bought it for her and the memories weren't good . . . And so we sort of happened in to the opportunity at just the right time. You can often get decent or even very nice pianos for free. Just because they are being given away for free doesn't mean they aren't lovely. We got our first two (upright) pianos for free, and both were great. The second one was re-homed (again for free) when we bought the grand piano. There's just not a great market for selling used modest pianos and they take up a lot of room (and can't be safely stored in an unclimate controlled space such as a garage . . . that was the downfall of our first free piano), and so sometimes folks just want to get rid of them. Your best bet to find a good used piano is to ask a good piano teacher to help you check them out. Since dd had been studying with the same teacher for years, we had her check out the grand piano that we were interested in. She also suggested we have the piano tuner/repair expert (that is FT employed by the local university in their music department) evaluate it as well, so we paid him to do that, too. (This was a 16k+ purchase, which was a great deal, but still a huge amount of money, so we were being very prudent . . .) Note that piano maintenance/repairs can be anything from routine tuning ($200-300 each time, approximately once a year, but always after a move, and would likely need more frequent tunes to restore a piano that hasn't been tuned regularly) to repairs that are so expensive as to be totally financially unfeasible (more than the cost of a new piano). So, be careful about investing too much if you haven't had it checked out. Many times, if people are giving away (or even selling) a piano, they will require you use a professional piano mover to remove it from their home. We've done that for both the first free piano as well as the more recent grand piano (duh, no way we'd try to move that one!). This is both to protect the piano from damage before it is actually out of the seller's house and also to protect the seller's house from damage . . . and to prevent liability concerns if the self-moving-folks drop the piano on a person mid-move in the seller's house or yard . . . IIRC, it's about 200 to move an upright and closer to 300-500 for a grand piano (local moves, obviously). Just call moving companies and ask . . . Or ask your local piano teacher who does it . . . (Having helped self-move uprights a few times and watching piano movers do their thing . . . I'd require a professional moving company move any piano out of my house unless I knew the buyer super-duper well and had an easy house to move it out of with no stairs or doorway issues.) So, anyway, I'd suggest finding a local piano teacher who'd be willing to let you hire her/him to help you find and assess pianos. Lesson rates are typically 50-100/hr, so I'd just ask if you could pay the teacher's going lesson hourly rate for their time.

Oh, God, No, do not rely on GoogleMaps or any other app to direct you through the snow in WV!!! NO!! Not if you value your life! I love, love GoogleMaps, but I'd *never ever* trust it to route me on anything other than interstates in a snow storm in WV. GoogleMaps has sent us on impassable roads *many times* locally. Literally impassable, even in the summer.

We're in N Central WV (junction of 79 and 68) and the highways are just fine. Back roads are shit, and they'll remain shit until school starts back up, as they never bother to treat the roads unless school is in session. Unless you have AWD *and* snow tires and are a very capable winter driver, don't mess with backroads in WV when it's snowed recently. (Or, for really back roads like the one we live on, don't mess with the backroads until the snow has melted, as there are a LOT of "state" as well as private roads that never get treated or plowed, so our state-owned road has gone weeks at a time during cold snaps when it is impassable for ordinary vehicles with ordinary tires -- as it's just one big ice road with steep hills . . . and we just have to wait for the ice to melt for it to be passable for regular vehicles. . . (Dh had to use chains on our road for about a month straight one bad winter when he didn't yet have snow tires on his little FWD Volvo . . . We no longer own any non-AWD cars, lol.) Since we have AWD and snow tires on our vehicles, we are out and about . . . It took us some years before we learned never to go without those winter essentials, lol. If you're just traveling through on interstates, you'll be just fine, so long as it isn't currently snowing heavily (and it's been at least a few hours since heavy snow). Just be careful on bridges/ramps, fill up the gas frequently, have cold weather survival gear on hand just in case, and stick to major exits/developed areas for pit stops.

I'd look at any packaged or processed foods you buy and look for alternatives with less sugar. Baked goods are killer, as they put sugar in so many things (even not sweet breads!). And look at reducing your sugar in your tea or completely eliminating it. Stevia (dried leaves or processed sugar substitute) is actually a lovely sweetener for tea. You could also try using a fruity herbal tea for part or all of your iced tea. I love the various Celestial Seasonings Zinger teas and don't use any sweetener at all with them. Maybe a half fruit tea and half black tea would be tasty but still give you your familiar tea flavor? Maybe you could spend January keeping track of what you consume . . . and then at the end of the month, make goals?

Probably twice a month on average we have adults/families over for some sort of gathering -- typically a dinner party for perhaps 4-10 guests plus us. We host overnight guests for one to several nights of 1to 8 guests (one or two families, typically) on average once a month. Kids (one to several) come over on average perhaps twice a week. We probably have larger parties (20-50 people) maybe one or two times a year, generally just for graduations or occasionally other special events (for a kid's club/team/etc). Those are stressful for me, but it's just something we suffer through, lol. We're all introverts, but this still works fine as we generally only invite close friends (or relatives) to visit us, lol. Larger parties are rare and typically for some special occasion such as a graduation. We also have a large house that is great for entertaining, so that makes it much easier. Speaking of which, I have a grocery list to prepare . . . and cleaning to supervise . . . and shopping to do . . . as we are hosting a NYE party tomorrow night (with two guest families plus two additional kids spending the night!) . . . Honestly, as an introvert, I'm actually more comfortable as the host than as a guest, as when I host, I typically know all my guests well, so it's not stressful. I like spending time with close friends . . . it's strangers that stress me out.

TBH, I've seen enough of CW's posts over the years to predict rather confidently that she will do whatever her kids need her to do, as she is clearly a loving and giving mother and loving and giving human being. However, I am/was responding to this part of her post: "College is ultimately the responsibility of the individual IMHO and any family assistance is a generous gift rather than something owed to that individual." That "they're on their own at 18 [barring severe medical/developmental dependency, presumably] and whatever we give them is an amazing gift we give" approach has been very present in both the post I directly quoted and earlier similarly themed posts. I'm trying to call her out on her arbitrary delineation of kid vs adult . . . dependent vs independent . . . And suggesting she soften her approach . . . and I'm expecting that she *will* soften her approach by the time her kids need her to . . . as she clearly *is* a lovely human being. I simply disagree with the premise that providing a college education [and/or other necessary support after 18] is the kid's sole responsibility, and I definitely disagree with the idea that parents assisting a young adult child with something as essential as education is a "generous gift" that is not "owed". Personally, I believe we DO owe our kids reasonable help -- to our best ability and balanced with other family needs including our own retirement/future -- as long as they need it. Kids owe their parents things, too, IMHO. I believe that families are intended (by the universe? by God? by evolution?) to be interdependent, in particular at critical life stages, and that as parents, we have moral duties to our children (and if I were still a theist, I'd argue that one of our highest religious duties, to God, is to care for our children who were entrusted to us!) and that those moral duties are not related to the legal adult status of our child(ren). A child becomes an independent "adult" in my universe/moral world when they are ready to self-support and even to support their own children . . . That doesn't happen at the magic age of 18 in today's complex universe. And, FWIW, sometimes that adult child *needs* help even later, when they are 30 and their spouse dies or, worse, runs off with a hussy and quits working . . . or when that adult child has a child of their own with complex medical needs . . . I believe we *owe* our child help if we can provide it. I would feel an absolute moral duty to assist an adult child in need. In fact, I think each of my parents felt that way, and certainly lived that way -- extending their duty not only to their children but also to their parents and their siblings . . . That is just how they each were, and it is certainly a character trait I value and would aspire to exhibit. Exactly how to help our adult children is a very complex matter, and it is often very unclear exactly how and how much to help our kids -- it's very hard to know what is in their best interest at times. This is the thing that makes parenting young adults *so hard*, IME. Just because it is hard does not mean it is not vitally important. It's clear what duties we owe to our tiny children, and very easy to know if we're doing what we should do. What our 20 year old kids need is often incredibly hard to figure out. Sometimes we don't know if it's better to provide X or not. I'm not arguing that we have an unlimited duty to "spoil" our young adults. Clearly, it is in their best interests for them to work hard, to contribute, to consider others, to be frugal, to learn to balance wants and needs, etc. So, I don't think we all owe our kids Princeton . . . but I do argue that we *owe* our children, and ourselves, (and the moral authority of the universe/God if you believe in that) our best efforts to support and help those children develop/grow until they have attained self-sufficiency including the ability to support their own future children. Me providing health insurance and college support for my 21 year old is *no more generous* than me providing food and education to my 12 year old. Those things are *just part of being a parent* and since I chose to be a parent (as did we all), I am doing no more than my duty. One would hope that our kids will appreciate our efforts, as having a thankful heart is part of being a good and happy person, but even if they lacked appreciation, that would not release *me* from *my duty as a parent*. *I appreciate being a mother to my kids* . . . and I'm happy to keep doing my *job of mothering* and I don't expect any parades or applause, even when the job is hard (as it often is for me with my adult kids). My mom's mom did the best she could for her kids -- throughout life. My mom and dad did the best they could for their kids -- throughout life. My dad's parents did the best they could for their son -- throughout their lives. My husband's parents did/do the best they can for their kids. My aunt did/does for her kids . . . So, every ancestor who I've had any significant contact with has lived this principle. It is ingrained in my understanding of what it is to be an adult ==>> an adult takes care of others . . . and that's not just taking care of minor children! My husband and I do the best we can -- for our kids -- for as long as they need us. We expect they'll do the best they can for their kids . . . No parades, no applause . . . It is what it is. I don't require gratitude (although a grateful heart is good, and I do hope I've instilled it already, and hope it comes in the future if I failed to instill it in them as children), but I will expect/demand them to pay it forward to their own kids. Because *that is part of being a good person* and by the time they are raising their own kids, I'd demand/expect them to be grown up enough to be ready to pay it forward. Because, that is what adults do.

Maya Inspektor at PAH, no compromise . . . My 15 year old will take it with her, or she won't take it at all.

I hope you're still here on these forums in 10 years to let us know how well your they-pay-it-themselves plan works out for your family. You might want to get active politically to advocate for affordable college. When we bring a child into this world, we take responsibility for nurturing and raising them until they are able to take care of thesmelves. That's what penguins do, bears do, pigs do, and that's what humans should do, too. Clearly, the process of raising human beings to self-sufficiency in the modern world is both complex and lengthy. That moral duty to shelter, nurture, and raise our kids . . . does not evaporate when they hit the legal age of majority in your country of residence, IMHO. And, in today's economic climate, letting them fend for themselves at age 18 may well end quite badly. I think you'll likely have a change of heart when your kids hit the relevant stages of life . . .

IME, this is very much variable depending on the two states involved and your insurance company. Our college girl goes to college out of state (far away!). She keeps her car registered and insured here in our home state. We can keep her on "our insurance" because when she purchased the car, she co-titled it with dh. Our insurance company told us that as long as one of us parents is on the title, we can keep it registered and insured here, no problems. When she got her new car a year ago, we double checked all the details with our insurance company, and so far, so good. Only drawback is getting the car home for its annual inspection. Fortunately, dd's inspection month is December, so it's not too hard to do it when she's home for the holidays. I think some of the states are much tougher about requiring cars in their state to be registered there, and kids might get tickets/hassles if they have a car there long term w/o registering it there. Back when I was in college in the dark ages in Arizona, I recall that being a common problem and that students generally needed to register their cars there . . . (I didn't have a car, so I didn't pay a lot of attention.)

Keep treating until it's entirely gone. I think you'd be fine to go to the shelter as long as you cover your lesion(s). I guarantee you that vet and shelter staff get exposed and contract it and surely don't skip work because of it.

It's a rare situation where a kid can self-pay these days. I think the right thing varies by family and by child . . . As with all parenting choices, it's a personal choice . . . For our family, we are committed to supporting our kids debt-free through undergrad so long as . . . + they choose a school we can afford. (They know our budget, and it allows significant choice.) + they agree to zero-debt for undergrad (so they're not taking on debt . . . they take our assistance and can work to supplement if desired, but they can't go out and run up a credit card or take student loans.) + they work hard to maximize their merit scholarship options and to maintain scholarships while in school + they are working hard in school and making reasonable progress towards a reasonable degree + they contribute to their education by working summers when not in school + they're generally being a reasonably nice family member and human being + they're reasonably frugal and live within their means For grad school, we won't take on full responsibility for supporting them . . . but if they have "Bank of Mom and Dad money" leftover due to frugal undergrad and scholarships and/or we happen to get lucky on all 3 kids getting through undergrad w/o breaking the bank . . . we will help with grad school to the extent we reasonably can, but it'd mostly be on them. At this point, it looks like we'll be able to get dd21 through her MS debt free on our set budget . . . Time will tell!

I'd do a pregnancy test to be sure.

Simplest way is to steam it and serve with lemon-butter or better yet lemon-butter-parmesan. Wash. Trim off woody white/brown ends (might be just a cm might be a couple inches, depending on the asparagus. Just trim off any parts that are really dry/woody/hard.) Cut in half. Put steamer on stove. Steam only the woodier/non-tip halves for 2-4 minutes. Add the flowering tips to the steamer. Steam until all is fork-tender. Once you can easily pierce it with a fork, it's good to eat. Don't overcook! Meanwhile . . . Melt 4 TB butter. Add 1-2 TB lemon juice (fresh squeezed or frozen, NOT the fake stuff!) Add 1-2 TB grated parmesan. Taste your sauce. Add more lemon or butter or parmesan to taste. Pour sauce over the asparagus in a bowl. Gently mix. Serve. (Omit the parmesan if desired.)

Boy, that stinks. I adore animals and dogs and currently have a puppy who is pretty much my caboose baby, so I get the attachment . . . But, she is really not being cool if she expressed it the way you have heard it. If she's going to be out of the house for over 8 hours w/o a chance to go home to tend to the dog (or if he were a puppy or sick older dog who couldn't yet be left for however long she's going to be out), then I can understand the necessity of bringing him along . . . and this would be just one of the things I'd suck it up and be stressed over, and I'd likely just banish my own pets to another part of the house for the day . . . If she doesn't have someone to leave her dog home with, it's definitely too late to find a kennel. (Any decent kennel is fully booked over the major holidays way ahead of time, and besides they're all closed now until Tuesday . . . Dh and I own a vet hospital that does offer boarding, so I know this for pretty certain unless you live in a very unusual place.) In that case, I'd feel sorry for her and her dog and I'd try to make it work. My mom (and dad, too) was always incredibly kind and patient to all her son/daughter in laws or girl/boy friends over the years . . . My husband's parents, not so much. Guess who we were super close to their entire lives and who even lived with us in her last years . . . my mom . . . Mom and Dad were both always so patient and tolerant and kind, even with my brother's **crazy** first wife . . . My in-laws . . . have always put their needs/desires high on their priority lists and their adult kids/grandkids/kids-in-law lower down. So, I plan to take after my parents and do my best to put *their* needs first and to adapt as much as possible. Of course, this can get out of hand if you have ridiculous kids yourself, but then again, you raised him, so you can suffer the consequences. Young love is a powerful thing . . . I wouldn't want to get in between your son and his gf. It's unlikely to end well for you, and may well push him closer to her. So, well, I'd suck it up. I might whine to my husband about it (OK, I *would* whine to my husband) and maybe to one or two of my closest friends. But, that's it. I'd pick up my cross and carry it, lol. I hope your holidays work out OK and this turns out to be a combination of the girlfriend's poor planning and cluelessness and some sort of miscommunication. That's what I'd hope for ... (((hugs)))

This is a shame! We've rented at least 12-15 texts from Amazon over the past couple years, and we haven't had any problems! Books have been in good used shape when we get them and then returns are hassle-free. I think having a "chat" with Amazon via the chat mode and saving the transcripts was a great idea if you want to keep them . . . just to establish a paper trail and also to let Amazon know that whoever supplied/sent your books wasn't doing a good job in screening the books.

Did y'all hear that HELOC (home equity line of credit) interest is no longer deductible?! So, if you itemize and have a HELOC, this is really important info (and you're screwed, big shocker). I shudder to think of the folks who took out big HELOCs thinking they were pretty much like a mortgage tax-wise . . . as they long have been . . . Now interest rates are up somewhat from their lows, so refinancing into a new regular mortgage might not work well. I'm pretty steamed. We'd used a pretty big HELOC to put money down on our college girl's house and for the "finishing touches" on our big home renovation a couple years ago . . . thinking there was no rush to pay it off as we'll sell that house before the 10 year HELOC is due (and besides, the rest of our regular mortgage would be nearly paid off by then) . . . and the rates were/are very low (like our regular mortgage), so I wasn't in any big rush to pay it off, thinking we could clear it when we sell the investment/college house and/or when we're done paying for college . . . I've canceled my retirement contributions for 2018 and will be redirecting my savings towards paying off the HELOC until it's gone, which will take some years at this rate (but I might get a job to help speed it up). Maybe that's a silver lining . . . encouraging us to get rid of all debt . . . maybe not . . . I can't believe they didn't at least grandfather in existing HELOCs. I know plenty of folks use HELOCs to pay for their kids' college . . . Good grief.

I can't read about the puking, so didn't even read your full OP, because puking is just the grossest . . . But, I had to tell you . . . 2 years ago, we had dear friends visit along with their then-8-year-old . . . who brought the stomach flu (norovirus, really, but we call it stomach flu) for a New Year's present. Ds16 (then) caught it first, overnight. He brilliantly thought to go downstairs to the family room so he wouldn't wake the rest of the household with his puking. He puked all over the laundry room (near and in the sink and all over everywhere), the family room (wall!! floor!!), the powder room, and even managed to crap the sofa. (It was a really, really bad funk. Poor kid. Thank God for washable slip covers on the sofa, or we'd have had to burn it!) So, I got to decontaminate the entire downstairs of the house . . . and of course, every one of us eventually got the plague, despite my best efforts. Fortunately, I didn't come down with it until after I'd at least cleaned up the main level of the house . . . So, anyway, I'd have much rather been woken with scream-puking than him going off on his own to quietly puke (and crap) all over my house. At least then I would have been able to give him a trash can, restrict him to his own bed room and one bathroom . . . Kids have very bad judgement about these sorts of thing in my regrettable experience, lol. Stomach sick is just. the. worst. This year, for Thanksgiving, a different dear family was supposed to come for the holiday week from out of state -- something we all look forward to all year. The mom let me know 7 days ahead of time that their little one was sick with norovirus (most likely) . . . and we agreed to cancel their visit. (It's contagious for up to a month!!) When I told my son about the cancellation, he said, "Oh, God, I wouldn't have come home (from college)!" (It took him nearly 2 years to fully recover from the damage that terrible bug did to his GI tract.) (((hugs))) and here's hoping the rest of your holidays are puke-free!

yes, this is why hurricanes and other disasters can spur "growth". It's really crazy, actually, when you think about it . . . Burn down your house, rebuild the same house, but you've now contributed to the GDP . . . but you're back where you started!

I don't mean this to be rude . . . . . . but I really suggest you book mark this thread or copy/save your posts and revisit them when you have college age "kids". Just wait. It's so fun . . . and expensive . . . and complicated . . . to raise young adults.

http://blog.getintocollege.com/new-tax-bill-passed-what-does-tax-reform-mean-for-students-and-parents/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/12/19/the-gop-tax-plan-has-a-nasty-surprise-for-upper-middle-class-parents-with-kids-in-college/?utm_term=.6d48c2a342b9 This article indicates that the $500 credit for older dependents is for the entire FAMILY, not per kid . . .

So, who is up to the minute on the tax bill's impact on families with college age kids? I'm thinking that it looks to me like it'll often be better for college kids to NOT be tax-dependents on their folks any more. Since the personal exemptions disappear, we'd get nothing or close to nothing ($500 possibly for older dependents? Anyone know for sure what happened with that element of the plan? Anyone find a link about it?) The child tax credit would only apply to those under 17, so that's just one of our kids. For our 18 & 21 year olds, I'm thinking they'll be better off (we'd all be better off) if they file as independent. That's clear for our 21 year old who'll work her co-op job most of 2018 (and likely thus would have been filing independently anyway). I'll be meeting with our CPA in January to figure out this and many other things . . . but was wondering if any of y'all have found anything about this topic?

burn it down and start over. btdt, still have ptsd, lol

I'd cancel the family visits for the next couple weeks. Save their visits for 3 weeks or more after you've fought off this beast. If your folks get sick now, they might still be sick (or weakened) by the time you have your baby and really want visits and help. I hate, hate, hate stomach bugs. We had to cancel a long awaited family visit over Thanksgiving due to a stomach bug. It's just not worth the risk IMHO.